11th Annual Kim Possible Fannie Awards Show
Both CajunBear and Sentinel burst through the door that led back into the left wing of the stage. Breathing hard since they had just run up two flights of stairs, they immediately found whitem, who was picking at a mini-buffet that he had set up for the hosts so he wouldn't get hungry like the last time.
"You… are not (huff) going to believe what happened to us down there!" CajunBear got out first, then Sentinel added, "I think we've got a… a ghost, or something!"
"What? You're joking, right?" whitem had a strange look on his face as if he didn't believe them.
"No, we are NOT joking!" Sentinel replied. "We walked up and down the corridor, and checked all the doors."
"TWICE!" CajunBear said, just a little too loud, causing some audience members on that side of the stage to hear, causing him to lower his voice a bit. "On our way back out, there was a door ajar that we were SURE was locked. We went ahead and checked it again anyway and… and…"
"A chair flew across the room at us, almost killing us!"
"Calm down you two. We don't want to worry any of the guests." whitem said in response. "Now tell me what room number it was, and maybe we can get to the bottom of this."
"Umm… 261B." CajunBear informed him.
"Let me check something…" whitem said while typing onto his Pad. "Here we go, an article from a newspaper in 1912… 'Stagehand George McNally was found hanged in Room 261B of The Pearl Opera House today by his co-workers. It appears that Mr. McNally had been upset about a pay-cut he had received two days ago. The Police have ruled it a suicide as the man was found in a room devoid of anything except for the chair he stood on in a corner so he could tie a rope around a water pipe for the fire system. Funeral arrangements will be made immediately, and Mr. McNally will be laid to rest on Monday.' whitem then cleared the article off of his Pad before either of his co-hosts could look at it.
Sentinel wiped his brow. "It's a good thing this guy hung himself at this Pearly Opera House place instead of…"
"This place used to be called The Pearl Opera House back then." whitem said interrupting him. "But I wonder why no one ever reported or talked about any haunting before?"
CajunBear and Sentinel looked at each other and spoke the same words at the same time. "We set him loose…"
"Hey… you guys!" whitem snapped, getting their attention. "Get your heads together. We've got a show to do. Now are you OK to go on?"
"Yeah." "Of Course." The two replied, and then Sentinel continued, "But I don't think we're up to reading awards, at least not right now. We'll hand out the Rufus statuettes for now."
"OK then." Whitem responded, and all three walked back out onto the stage to start the next presentations.
…x x x x…
whitem walked up to the podium while CajunBear and Sentinel stepped up next to the secured cabinet that held the Rufus statuettes.
"Well everyone, we're back, so let's get right to it, shall we? Will the following authors please go to the Winner's Queue: Eddy13, Imyoshi, Shadodancer01, and chris the cynic." Right away there were some murmurs as everyone noticed only four names were called, so one of them must be a multiple winner. Again.
"For our next winner of a Fannie, I would like to call up Eddy13. You have won Best Comedy with your story 'Possible Pirates'!"
Once again, Eddy13 approached the stage, this time looking less shocked and more jubilant over winning. He walked directly up to the podium, adjusted the microphone, and started.
"Wow, I didn't expect to be up here again" he said buoyantly "Guess I'm a better writer than I thought. Either that or the number of quality stories here has gone down. Let's hope it's the former."
Clearing his throat after a lackluster response, he continued. "'Possible Pirates' was an idea that I had last year. Pirates is a theme I've always had a thing for, from Disney movies to certain Mangas, and considering I wasn't fond of how Ron was portrayed in 'Cap'n Drakken', I decided to do a better version of him as swashbuckling rogue with a thirst for adventure".
"I don't get it" Ron muttered to Kim. "What was wrong with that episode?"
"I'll tell you later." Kim replied, not wanting to recall Ron's antics in the episode in question.
"I do have Mr. Wizard to thank as well. His alternate universe stories are what gave me the inspiration to come up with one of my own. In fact, it was one of his stories which gave me the idea to have Rufus be portrayed by his Rufus 3000 version. I'm glad that the concept has turned out to be funny enough that it won in the Fannies this year. I don't want to give anything away, including whether a certain pirate Kim and Ron have run afoul, or when Captain Ron will meet a certain redhead. Just know that 'Possible Pirates' will continue in the future. In the meantime, thank you all once again for choosing it for 'Best Comedy'"!
Eddy13 then turned to receive his Rufus Statuette that represented his Fannie win. After CajunBear handed it off, just before Eddy could get much further, whitem called out. "Oh, Eddy13? Could you please hang out in the Winners Queue for a little bit, Please and Thank-you?"
"OK whitem, that's MY line!" Kim yelled out from her table, making the Host duck his head a bit in capitulation. The audience chuckled a bit at whitem for getting in trouble with Kim. Again.
"Now, may I ask that Imyoshi please come on up to receive your award for Best Romance with your story 'Rules of a Melon'!"
The winning author walked up onto the stage and to the podium. "Well, it looks like I've won another Fannie award. What are the odds? (Pretty damn high since this story got nominated way too many times) What can I say. 'Rules of a Melon' was, and probably will be, my greatest Ron Stoppable and Bonnie Rockwaller story. Not sure if that pairing has a name. I like to think it's Bon-Bon. It's the B in Bonnie, and the ON in Ron. Bon-Bon!" The author smiled a bit as he received a mix of groans and some mild laughter.
Immediately Imyoshi continued. "But I'm getting off topic here. Time to get back to serious matters! So what's the deal with airplane food?"
Immediately whitem looked at his co-hosts and made a slashing motion across his throat. (No, this doesn't mean to kill him!) It signaled the two to quickly escort the author off the stage while slapping the Rufus statuette into their hand.
The authors last actions while being escorted off the stage was a raised fist and the words "I regret nothing!"
Whitem stepped back up to the microphone while adjusting his tie. "Well, in the words of Mr. Barkin early on in the show, 'Darn Punk!'" A few chuckles rippled through the audience.
For the next award, I would like to ask Eddy13 to come back to the podium! You have also won Best Friendship with your story 'First Birthday as Friends'."
With an excited look on his face, Eddy13 stepped back up onto the stage and waved excitedly to the audience, who responded with genuine applause for the author.
Whitem quickly raised a hand to audience so they wouldn't get too rambunctious, as they still had quite a few more winners to go through.
After the short applause quieted down, Eddy13 started. "Wow, when it rains, it pours!" He said in amazement "When I said I longed to win in the Fannies, I didn't expect to win this many times all at once. I guess all the wishing I did over the years is coming back all at once. Anyway, I'm glad that 'First Year as Friends' was able to win this award regardless of being the only nominee. I wrote the story with a few ideas in mind. First, I wanted to foreshadow Kim and Ron's eventual future as global heroes. Also, I wanted to give a special shout out to one of my favorite shows 'Rocky and Bullwinkle'. I mean, when you think about it, it seems like some of the baddies Kim and Ron have gone up against have been taking villainy lessons from Boris Badenov!"
While the audience chuckled, a certain blue scientist surreptitiously whipped out a mobile phone and quickly dialed.
"Yes, hello, Boris? I'm afraid I'm going to be canceling the remaining lessons I paid for. No refund?! Why you double-crossing, two-faced, swindling slug!" There was a pause. "That wasn't meant to be a compliment!" A few members of the audience turned to glare at the blue scientist, which caused him to immediately sink down in his chair and disconnect the call.
Meanwhile on stage, Eddy13 continued with his acceptance speech. "The main objective of the story was very simple however. As we all know, Kim is not-so-secretly a Cuddle Buddy collector, with Pandaroo being her most favorite. Since we don't know the true story of how she got it, I thought it would be given great significance if it was a gift from Ron when they were kids. You have to admit that is a touching concept".
As the audience murmured in agreement, a certain pair was speaking.
"He's right you know." Kim said as she snuggled up to Ron. "The idea that you gave me Pandaroo is really sweet."
"Yeah." Ron said lowly and nodded. "Too bad it's been so long that neither of us remember exactly how you got it. But his theory is a good concept".
"Of course, after posting the story," Eddy13 continued slowly, "I realized that it would make things regarding Pandaroo even more depressing considering events that occurred in 'Graduation'."
Every non-villainous guest (and even a few villains, especially DNAmy) shot vicious nasty looks at a pair of green behemoths who were still nursing wounds inflicted on them by R0NMMP.
"That stuffed hand cloth was an unfortunate casualty of our attack!" Warmonga protested.
"Therefore…" Eddy13 got the audience's attention again, "I felt I had to do something to make it less harsh, and thus I wrote an epilogue centered after 'Graduation' that also brought the story full circle. Once again, I'm happy that my story won Best Friendship, even if it was by default. In closing, I want to thank all of you for choosing my stories in the categories that they won. I want to also thank Mahler Avatar, who nominated all my stories and gave me the chance to be up here, I want to thank him a 99 million!"
The author then took a bow off to one side of the podium and then took his Rufus Statuette from Sentinel103, and nearly dislocated his arm while shaking his hand so hard. Eddy13 then walked off the stage as the audience applauded him for the third time.
"Eddy…" whitem called out as the author walked away, "Once again let me remind you that being the only one nominated in a single category is not a bad thing. But once again, congratulations!
Whitem then punched a few things on the podium's screen before announcing the next author. "Now for our next winner, I would like ShadowDancer01 to come up on stage. You have won Best Action Adventure with your story 'Action and Reaction'."
The next winning author strode up onto the stage and went straight to the podium and started his speech. "Winning this Fannie means more than I can say, not just because there was more than one nomination. To have my work compared to the great past winners as well as the other nominees this year is a true honor. A huge thank you to all my readers and reviewers, you are what keeps me going.
"Action and Reaction originally started as the story of how Kim and Shego got together, a tale that now forms the part of the background for the current story set in Plaintain. Once I had it outlined, I realized the interesting part of the story came after they were rescued and life returned to 'normal'. Thinking about that lead to the current story, one whose main theme is about the consequences for our actions, and the far reaching effects even the smallest action can have.
"Once again, thank you to everyone for this award, it means a great deal to me."
The audience immediately applauded while the author then received his award from CajunBear and Sentinel before walking off the stage with a big grin on his face.
Once again whitem stepped back up to the podium, and this time he looked back at CajunBear and Sentinel. He motioned to the podium as if asking them if they wanted to present the next award. The two thought for a few seconds and then nodded before stepping up to the microphone.
"Don't forget…" whitem said with a whisper to the two, "this is the last winner for this part of the show."
Sentinel103 stepped up to the podium. "For our next winner, and last one before we take another break, would the last author in the queue come on up! You're the next contestant on The Price is…" An elbow from whitem made him stop with an 'urf'.
Sentinel then looked down at the screen to confirm the winner he was to announce. "chris the cynic, you have won Best Drama with your story 'Bent, not Broken'."
The last winner in the queue walked up onto the stage and strode purposefully up to the podium. She adjusted the microphone and started. "So, first and foremost, thank you everyone. Again."
After a short pause, she continued. "Most of what I write, fan work and original alike, straddles the line between action/adventure and drama, but, in many ways, 'Bent, not Broken' was intended to be a departure from that.
"I started the story because someone pointed out, rightly if rudely, that the KP fic I had at the time was lacking in action. My first KP fic, 'Being more than a Simulacrum', is sort of a serial friendship story. It's also about making a unique identity for yourself, so none of that really lends itself to action. My second, 'Forgotten Seeds', has no antagonists. Just nine characters trying to survive together. Again, not something that really calls for action.
"So I set out to make a fic that would be much more… actiony." chris gave a small smile at the word play. "I'm a fan of LJ58's 'Bad Girls' and I was reading (and still am) ShadowDancer01's Action and Reaction and I wanted to do something in that general arena. Kim is set up. Kim loses everything. Disillusioned, Kim then sets out for retribution."
The author took a breath and kept going. "I actually wanted to take it further than either of those and write straight up id-fic, which is about pulling out all the stops and just letting loose on the organ. It's non-stop movie action where problems are solved by beating up the bad guys and blowing things up. It's about appealing to that part of your psyche that just wants to punch antagonists and other human obstacles in the face." More than a few audience members nodded in agreement.
"But… I'm . . . not the best at writing it. In fact, I'd say I failed. (A year later I still haven't gotten to the part of Bent, not Broken where Kim embraces her dark side and really starts to let loose.) Id-fic is just not where my writing takes me. I tend to do more adventure than action, more think than punch, more Banner than Hulk, more Loki than Thor, and so forth.
"And that's how I ended up with a drama when I set out to write, essentially, 'River Tam Beats Up Everyone'. Yes, Kim's going to cut loose, yes there's going to be action (and adventure) but what I've been trying to do, which I hope this award means I'm succeeding at, is tell a story where all of that fits.
"A story where it makes sense that Kim has been pushed beyond her usual limits, and it makes sense that she's finding, and fearing, her dark side. It makes sense that she's doing things that aren't Kim-like (yet we're still rooting for her.) I've also been trying to create an enemy that is simultaneously so powerful that it can't be stopped without going full action movie, so pervasive that it can't be dealt with quickly, and so insidious that Kim can't figure it out in the space of an episode or three.
"And all of that?" Once again the author took a breath. "That's drama. Drama that I totally didn't set out to write.
"So, I guess the message that I really want to give to all of you is don't be afraid to try new things, and don't be frustrated when they don't turn out how you intended. Maybe you don't end up with what you were going for, but if you keep putting in solid effort and bring your best to bear, you can still end up with something good.
"Thank you to everyone who voted for my story, and good luck to all of the writers out there!"
As the author turned to receive her Rufus Statuette from whitem, the audience loudly cheered the author, who then waved to the audience while walking off the stage.
Once again whitem stepped up to the microphone. "Well everybody, therein ends another segment of our presentations. We hope you are enjoying this years' Fannie Awards Show, as we certainly enjoy presenting them to you.
"We'll leave you this time with the music of AC/DC and their song 'Thunderstruck'."
While the three hosts walked off the stage, Sentinel and CajunBear stole a glance at the door that led down to where they had the you-know-what scared out of them. An almost un-earthly purplish-red glow was spilling out from underneath the door.
"whitem! whitem! Do you see that?" The two said tapping him on the shoulder.
Turning around, whitem saw… nothing. "What? What are you guys talking about?"
"But there was… we just saw…"
"C'mon you two. You don't really believe that we have a ghost on the loose around here, do you?"
To be continued…