Ranma 1/2 belongs to Rumiko Takahashi/Shogakukan.
A Not so Simple Wish
by Ebiris


Ranma giddily held the ancient Chinese artifact aloft, it was all he could do not to release an
out of character (but very cathartic) maniacal laugh. "I, Ranma Saotome, wish to be free of
the curse of Nyannichuan!" He yelled triumphantly, cheerfully thinking of finally being
normal again.

"Silly customer, Mystic Urn of Xiawang no grant wishes until you pay for it." Said the
elderly proprieter of 'Honest Wong's Magical Chinese Shoppe'.

"Oh... right..." Ranma blushed as he put the urn back on the counter and started rifling
through his pockets "Sorry about that, just got carried away for a moment there." He
chuckled good naturedly before handing over ten thousand yen.

"And your change." Wong smiled genially as he handed a five yen coin to Ranma.

Ranma was about to lift up the urn and make his wish when he suddenly realised what was
about to happen. Obviously now that he had the solution to his greatest problems, Ryouga
would burst in and attack him for forgetting to leave the toilet seat down for Akane or
something. Carefully placing the urn on the ground next to the counter where it would
hopefully appear inconspicous, he made a show of looking around before theatrically
announcing "Boy, I sure hope-"

He was cut off as the wall exploded inwards "Ranma!!" An enraged sometimes pig bellowed
"How dare you inconvienience Akane-san like that! Prepare to die!"

Ranma grinned as he set about demolishing pig boy, and incidentally the shop they were in.
Before long, Ryouga was out cold from a few thousand punches delivered in a few seconds.
All in all, it was quite a stunning display of martial arts skill.

'Honest Wong' however was less than impressed at seeing his shop full of irreplaceable
mystic Chinese junk being wrecked. A frown creased the stately old mans face as he decided
that such impudence would have to be punished. It was a fairly simply matter to pick up the
urn and flick the hidden switch on the bottom which would ensure it only gave out cursed
wishes. "Take urn and go. Never darken my shop again." He announced as he gave Ranma
the discount priced dispenser of wishes.

Ranma, being his usual self, failed to notice the shopkeeper's ire as he took hold of the urn
and cried out his wish to the heavens.

Reality shifted.


Ranma blinked several times to get the blurriness out of his vision. "What the hell?" He
remarked on seeing that he was currently in a girls bedroom. Judging from the decor he half
expected Azusa Shiratori to burst in at any moment and start naming the various knick
nacks or whatever the hell that kind of cute crap is called.

This was promptly followed by the realisation that 'his' voice was several octaves higher than
would be expected for a 'manly man'. "Hey! I'm a girl!" Ranma cried out, noticing her
breasts jutting perkily out as breasts tended to do. She also appeared to be wearing
Doraemon pajama's, although that didn't really bother Ranma since she considered it to be a
fairly unisex anime, even if Nabiki always said it was just for little kids. Besides, despite
being a cat, the talking blue robot with no ears was about as far from feline as you could get.

"Hello." A voice came from behind her, judging from how close it sounded, someone was
severely violating her personal space. Being a martial artist trained practically from birth to
be a living weapon, Ranma reacted instantly.

"Eeeek!" She shrieked before leaping away and turning to face the intruder. Mere
microseconds later, rationalisation kicked in and Ranma realised that she had only shrieked
like a girl in order to lull the intruder into a false sense of security. Yeah, that's the ticket!

"Oh, pardon me, I did not mean to startle you." The man said in a cheerful tone that
indicated he really didn't care.

"Who the hell are you?! What the hell's going on?" Ranma demanded, her voice laced with
genuine panic. This wish was going way off track!

The man bowed with a flourish "Why, I am Xiawang, of course." He announced as if it were
the most obvious thing in the world.

Ranma eyed him mistrustfully "Why do you look like Xellos from Slayers then?"

"Hmmm...." Xiawang put a finger to his mouth in contemplation "It could be..."

"Yes?" In spite of herself, Ranma leaned in closer to hear the answer.

"A secret!" He finished brightly.

Ranma groaned as she picked herself up from the floor "I guess I asked for that." She

"Yes, you did. And that's not all you asked for." Xiawang said cheerfully.

In a flash Ranma had the man by the throat "Yeah, what the hell happened to my wish?!"
She demanded.

"Ah, well it seems I was supposed to give you a cursed wish, so you can't expect things to go
too smoothly. The path of a martial artist is fraught with peril and all that." Xiawang tried
unsuccessfully to placate her.

"Well why the heck am I a..." Ranma trailed off, a look of dawning horror starting to creep
over her features "You locked it didn't you! I'm stuck as a girl!" She started shaking him
back and forth violently "That's not what I meant! I said 'free of the curse of Nyannichuan'! I
can't be a girl!" She wailed.

Xiawang disengaged himself from the distraught former boy and smoothed the creases in his
outfit "Well, that's what happens when you make a wish on a cursed object, but I did fulfill
the wish actually. Ranma Saotome has just finished training at Jusenkyo, and he was not

"What are you babbling about?" Ranma demanded, despite the fact that she was doing most
of the babbling herself.

"You," He pointed dramatically at the redhead "Are the curse of Nyannichuan that Ranma
has been freed of. However, rather than just dumping you in an unfriendly world with
nothing more than the clothes on your back, I have been nice enough to provide you with a
home, and a chance to regain what you lost."

"This is my home?" Ranma surveyed her surroundings with an expression of extreme

"Yes. You are now Ranko Xiawang, student at Furinkan High school, your parents recently
died and left a generous inheritance which should last you until you finish university if you
are careful about your spending. At a young age you were briefly trained by Happosai,
giving you the right to practice Anything Goes, but you have never demonstrated any
aptitude or interest in the martial arts before now."

"Hey! I'm Ranma Saotome!" Ranma exclaimed angrilly.

"No, Ranma Saotome is currently in China finishing off the last leg of his training journey.
You are not him anymore." Xiawang said forcefully.

"Well, why are you giving me all this stuff? Apart from being stuck as a girl, this life sounds
better than what I had before." Ranma commented, visions of a life free of unwanted fiances
flittering through her head. She abruptly shook the thought off, nothing was worth being
stuck as a girl!

Xiawang casually buffed his nails on his shirt "I provide a full service wish. Besides,
rewriting history to my whims is fun." He smiled cheerfully.

"Well I don't care!" Ranma announced hotly, hands on her hips in a pose of righteous
feminine indignation "Undo it! I don't wanna be stuck as a girl while some other guy gets to
be Ranma."

"Tut tut." Xiawang admonished her, waggling a finger in a reproving manner "Things aren't
that simple with cursed wishes. I said you have a chance to regain what was lost, in fact if
you succeed you will be permenantly male and I'll even put you back in that magic shop as
if all this never happened."

"What do I gotta do?" Ranma asked, just knowing that the answer would somehow displease

Xiawang hmmed and looked thoughtful "Tell me, are you familiar with the fairy tale
'Beauty and the Beast'?"

"Never heard of it."

"Oh, well the long and the short of it is; a handsome prince is cursed to turn into a hideous
beast - much like that Pantyhose fellow, only permanent - and the only way to break the
curse is to have a woman fall in love with him. But of course, who could love a beast? And
therein lies the dilemma."

"So I haveta make some guy fall in love with me?" Ranma clarified, a disgusted expression
on her face. "I don't like it, but I guess it ain't hard, all those perverts used to hit on me when
they knew I was a guy, if I'm a... urk... *real*... girl, then it shouldn't be too hard. I guess."

"Oh no, that would be far too simple. No, you have to make a specific person fall in love
with you." By now Xiawang's everpresent smile was threatening to expand across his entire

"Who?" That single sylable contained more venom than Ranma had ever put into any word
before in her entire life.

"Why, Ranma Saotome of course!"


Chapter 1

"What?!" Ranma shrieked. "I have to make myself fall in love with me?"

"Yes." Xiawang seemed to be enjoying himself immensely "If he were to give you a kiss of
true love *snicker* then it proves he has accepted the Nyannichuan curse - that being you -
and then I'll return you to that magic shop, as a 100% male Ranma. Or you can forget about
it and live the rest of your life as Ranko Xiawang, it's entirely your choice."

A battle aura began to shimmer around Ranma, looking somehow incongrous with her cute
Doraemon pajamas. "Ranma Saotome... er... I mean Ranko Xiawang doesn't lose! I'll just
buy one of those koi rods and make him fall in love with me!" She announced, the fires of
determination burning brightly in her eyes.

"Oh, that won't do at all." Xiawang commented in a shocked tone "It has to be genuine true
love, it doesn't count if you use magic."

"Well pooh." Ranko sat on her bed and crossed her arms huffily "I can still do it easy, after
all, I know myself better than anyone! I just have to become my own perfect woman!"

Xiawang patted her on the head in an approving manner "That's the spirit! Well, I must be
off then. Good luck, you won't see me again unless you succeed in winning the love of
Ranma Saotome." He gave a jaunty wave and promptly disappeared.

"This sucks." Ranko pouted as she got up and set about exploring her new home. She swiftly
found there was not much to explore, it being a two room apartment. The kitchenette seemed
well stocked, so she brewed up some tea and sat herself at the kotatsu as she considered what
she was going to do.

"If Ranma is at Jusenkyo now, then it should be just under a month before he arrives in
Nerima... But if he isn't cursed, won't Shampoo give him the kiss of marriage?" She tried to
figure out how things would go if that happened. She remembered recieving the kiss of death
herself, at a time when she was at her lowest ebb due to the curse. That kiss seemed to wash
all those problems away though, and Ranma had been prepared to pledge his undying love to
the Amazon right there and then. A month of travelling across China being hunted like an
animal had pretty much ruined Shampoo's chances of ever getting together with Ranma

It was a similar situation with Akane, when she had initially offered friendship, Ranma had
been ecstatic. Being called a pervert and smashed over the head with a table had done a good
job of ruining that though. Shampoo and Akane had both destroyed Ranma's willingness to
offer his heart to anyone at a time when he was very vulnerable.

But an uncursed Ranma is a very different story. He wouldn't be anywhere near as sensitive
about his manhood, nor would he be so desperate for affection. That could make things a
little more difficult for Ranko. On the other hand, the curse had also very thoroughly
desensitised Ranma to girls - it's pretty hard to be impressed with a girl's looks when you
only need a splash of cold water to get a cute girl all to yourself.

Ranko snorted. "At least I've got an advantage there, I'm way cuter than any of the fiances."
She muttered inbetween sipping her tea.

A look at the clock revealed it was nearly eight o clock in the morning. "What day is it?" she
wondered before remembering the Wedding Peach calender in her room. "I'm gonna have to
redecorate." She promised herself as she went to check the day. It was Saturday. "Guess I'd
best get ready for school." She huffed before donning a Furinkan girls uniform from her


Ranko arrived early for school and saw a fair number of students were milling about the
grounds, but there was a telling lack of sports equipment clad boys working themselves into
a hormone crazed frenzy. "Looks like Kuno hasn't made that speech yet." She mused before
heading into the main building.

Upon entering room 1-F she surreptitously checked the seating chart to find her place; a
window seat just behind Akane's friend Yuka. A few other students had also arrived early
and were clustered around desks chatting amiably, but Ranko was completely ignored as she
made her way to her seat.

It was a trend which was maintained throughout the day as Ranko discovered she seemed to
be on the same social level as Gosunkugi. It was actually a refreshing change from the days
when she couldn't break wind without the whole school talking about it and Nabiki setting
up some dumb betting pool on the subject. Besides, it would have been very annoying if the
boys did consider her 'dateable material' - after all, she had to save herself for Ranma *yech*.

Pretty soon school ended, it being a Saturday she now had the whole afternoon to herself.
She was just leaving the building when she spotted an altercation forming.

"For the last time Kuno, leave me alone!" An irate tomboy yelled. Akane was starting to put
out all the visual cues that Ranko knew indicated severe pain was in the immediate future
for whomever had upset her.

"But Akane Tendou, it is written in the stars that our love be true! Only such a fierce tigress
as yourself can be worthy of the Shooting Star of Furinkan High, let us date!" Her would be
suitor professed as he lunged at her for a hug/grope.

Ranko snorted in disgust as Kuno was belted across the grounds and smashed into the school
building near her. She was pleased to note that Kuno didn't even acknowledge her presence
as she walked past, when in the past a massive head trauma would never keep him from his
pig tailed girl. "Just hope it stays that way..." She mumbled, suspecting that once she started
making her play for Ranma her desireability among the males of Furinkan would shoot up
just as the universe's way of spiteing her.

She returned to her apartment without incident and swiftly disrobed the ugly Furinkan girls
uniform. A quick survey of her closet for some decent casual clothes was rather depressing,
as all she had were a couple of plain skirts and blouses, two frilly (and ugly) dresses and a
yukata that appeared to be several sizes too small. Further exploration of her drawers
eventually turned up a pair of grey cotton sweat pants, which she wore along with a yellow
blouse. Her underwear was all of a simple utilitarian style, which Ranko approved heartily
of - she only had to kiss Ranma before things got back to normal, so fancy lingerie was not
going to be needed.

"Time for some clothes shopping I think." Ranko commented to herself, eager to get a better
wardrobe for herself, since even her old collection of female disguise clothes was superior to
what she had now. Of course, she wasn't going to purchase any really feminine garments,
she'd just buy Chinese style clothes similar to what she used to wear.

It was with that thought in mind that she was about to leave her apartment when an
important realisation struck her "Wait a minute! How the heck will I win Ranma's love if
I'm some wierd cross-dressin' tomboy?" She then proceeded to spend several minutes cursing
and kicking various inanimate objects around the room. Much as she hated wearing
feminine clothes herself, she definitely preferred girls that dressed properly, so she would
have to dress nicely from now on.

Further contemplation opened up another avenue that would work things to her advantage
"Heh, I can kill two birds with one stone." she smirked. She could get someone to help her
pick out nice clothes, and get a counter for the fact that pop would be pushing Ranma to
marry a Tendou.


Ranko stood outside the Saotome residence, dressed in a brand new kimono adorned with an
orchid motif. She had also restyled her hair to let it hang loose and applied a small amount of
makeup. All in all, she was the very picture of decorum and grace.

"Man this sucks." She groused, fighting the urge to wipe her face clean of makeup. She took
a deep breath before steeling herself and marching up to ring the doorbell. She had to
restrain herself from fidgeting nervously as she waited for Nodoka to arrive.

A few seconds later, Nodoka Saotome opened the door and smiled at her guest "Hello young
lady, is there something I can do for you?" She asked, thinking approvingly of how well
turned out the girl was.

"Yes, Saotome-san," Ranko began, bowing formally to the older woman "My name is
Ranko Xiawang. I am looking for Genma Saotome."

"Oh..." Nodoka seemed to visibly wilt "You're not a bill collector are you?"

It was all Ranko could to to keep the grimace from her face. Damn you pop! She was
furious at her father, guessing correctly that Nodoka had been forced to deal with Genma's
screwups many times before. "No, I am not a bill collector, Saotome-san, but I am a
practitioner of Anything Goes and wished to meet a master of the school."

Nodoka perked up a little at that, but was still rather subdued "I am afraid my husband left
on training trip with our son ten years ago. The last letter I recieved from him indicated they
were in China."

An opening! "You have a son?" She asked, with just the right amount of interest.

"Oh, yes." Nodoka nodded happily before giving Ranko a speculative look "I'd imagine he's
about your age Ranko-chan."

"Really?" Ranko paused for a moment as if considering something, when in reality she had
this conversation already planned out "Pardon me for saying so, but you must be lonely
without your family. Perhaps you would like to talk?"

Nodoka beamed. Such a considerate and well mannered girl "I'd enjoy the company, Ranko-
chan. Why don't you come in?" She stepped back and waved the younger girl inside.

"Thankyou, Saotome-san." Ranko smiled demurely as she enter the house and slipped off
her geta.

"Now, now. You can call me auntie." Nodoka admonished gently.


"And here's Ranma when he was three." Nodoka thrust another photo under Ranko's nose
"He was such a rambunctious little boy then, always running around naked like that" She
chuckled merrily.

Ranko choked back a sob, it was all she could to to not rip the photo (and all the others with
similarly nude chibi-Ranmas) to pieces and destroy such embarrasing evidence. Still, by
keeping her eyes on the long term goal she was able to control her initial reaction. "Oooh,
he's such a cute little boy!" She squealed with girlish glee "I bet he's really handsome now."

"I'm sure he is." Agreed Nodoka before pressing onto a topic she'd been wondering about for
a while "Tell me Ranko-chan, do you have a boyfriend?"

"No." Ranko said glumly, affecting a depressed pout.

"Why ever not? A pretty young girl like yourself should have the boys flocking to her!"

"It's because I'm a martial artist." Ranko explained "Even though I try to be feminine and
nice, most guys are intimidated by me." She sighed forlornly in the manner lovestruck girls
have done throughout the ages "I just wish I could find some handsome, manly man who
practices martial arts and isn't afraid of a strong woman." It was a struggle not to choke on
the 'manly' part.

Nodoka got a gleam in her eye. Ranko had impressed her tremendously, being a friendly and
attentive listener for Nodoka to pour out her troubles on, had impeccable manners (Ranko
had made good use of what she learned from martial arts tea ceremony) and seemed to have
a good head on her shoulders. Her interest in martial arts would make her very compatible
with Ranma, and it didn't hurt that she was very pretty - the grandchildren would be
beautiful! "Well Ranko," She began "dearest said that he would take Ranma away for ten
years, and I am actually expecting them back within a few weeks. Perhaps you and Ranma
could get to know one another? I'm sure my son will be a master of Anything Goes himself
by now."

"Really?" Ranko's eyes seemed to shimmer as she held her clenched fists under her chin in a
standard 'cute girl' pose that was normally used for scamming free food "I'm so happy!"

Nodoka smiled beatifically; her son would be so happy that his mother had found such a
wonderful girl for him "Ranko-chan, would your parents be averse to setting up an omai?"

Ranko deflated slightly "My parents recently passed away." She said sombrely.

"Oh Ranko-chan! I'm so sorry!" Nodoka embraced the young girl in a comforting hug "Here
you've listened to me complain about missing my family when you've so recently lost your

"Th...That's alright auntie." Ranko sniffed, crying tears of happiness just at being able to be
held by her mother like this, though Nodoka misinterpreted the reason for her tears and
made soothing noises as she held Ranko and encouraged her to let it all out.

After a few moments Ranko pulled away and Nodoka offered her a tissue. "I'm sorry
auntie," Ranko began as she cleaned herself up "I didn't mean to break down like that."

"That's alright dear." Nodoka said, feeling her maternal instincts rising to the surface for this
poor orphan "We all have to let our feelings out from time to time."

Ranko spent a few minutes trying to regain her centre, having been caught off guard by the
upsurge of feelings caused by a simple hug. Once she calmed down a little she blamed it on
female hormones and tried to forget it, even if did feel really nice. "Um..." She twiddled her
index fingers nervously "If you're giving me permission to marry your son... can I call you

Nodoka's smile rivaled the sun "I would be honoured, Ranko-chan."


Chapter 2

After spending the previous day shopping with Nodoka, Ranko now stood outside the
Tendou dojo wearing an outfit she had purchased after parting ways with her mother. It was
a kunoichi outfit similar to what Konatsu would normally wear when not waitressing at
Ucchan's (although it rather galled Ranko that she didn't look as good in it as the
crossdressing ninja would). But instead of traditional ninja black, her outfit was a
purple/maroon colour just like Happosai's gi.

Following the instructions on the sign in front of the dojo, Ranko went to the rear entrance to
issue her challenge, silently wondering why the heck no one else ever bothered to follow that
simple courtesy in the entire time she had lived with the Tendous.

"I have come to challenge for the sign of the Tendou dojo." She announced boldly as she
entered the dojo.

"Oh my, a challenger? Wait here and I'll get father." Kasumi, who had been sweeping the
dojo of cement from Akane's practice said before walking into the house. A moment later she
returned with the rest of her family.

"What's this? You wish to challenge the Tendou school of Anything Goes martial arts?"
Soun asked, putting up a very convincing stern front.

Ranko folded her arms and adopted a haughty demeanour "I am Ranko Xiawang, student of
Anything Goes. I have come to avenge my master."

"Master?" Akane looked confused "But you say you practice Anything Goes, and my dad is
the only master." She looked at Soun for confirmation.

Ranko gave a cruel smirk "Happosai sends his regards." She said before taking out a small
folding fan and fanning herself.

All traces of sterness abruptly vanished from Soun Tendou as he turned into the quivering
wreck Ranko was more familiar with "Don't say his name!" He looked around frantically
presenting warding signs lest the evil master of Anything Goes were to leap out and attack.

Kasumi stumbled slightly "Oh my, the strap on my sandal broke, and I just bought them
yesterday..." She said, while several crows dropped dead in midair and plummeted into the
koi pond.

"What's this all about daddy?" Nabiki asked, less than impressed with all the theatrics.

Since Soun was fast approaching catatonia, Ranko took it upon herself to explain "Ten years
ago, Soun Tendou and his training partner both conspired to seal the grandmaster of the
Anything Goes school in a cave. He recently freed himself, and as his student, I was sent to
take the sign of the Tendou dojo as a small measure of revenge." All lies of course. Ranko
was doing this to weaken the Tendou claim on Ranma, since a dojo with no sign wouldn't
make a very good dowry. She was only mentioning Happosai for the psychological edge.
Well, that and humour value. The old letch was still sealed away, and Ranko planned on
being back in her old life long before his release, so it was impossible to disprove her lie.

"Is this true father? Did you seal away your own master?" Kasumi asked, sounding properly

"You don't understand!" Soun babbled "He was the most evil and perverted creature ever to
walk the earth, we had to get rid of him! Oh, the terrible things he made us do in the name of

Ranko snorted violently at that. As far as she was concerned they had gotten off easy. She'd
never seen any evidence that Soun and Genma had been tossed into pits of starving cats,
been forced to deal with involuntary sex changes, or lived in fear of their own mothers
making them commit seppuku. She should have sealed pop away years ago! "The path of a
true martial artist is fraught with peril." She remarked sardonically.

Akane, meanwhile, was staring intently at Ranko, before a look of dawning realisation
crossed her features "Hey! I know you, you're in my class, Reiko Xiawang. But you don't
know any martial arts."

Ranko's eyebrow twitched "That's Ranko. And I know more than you think." It was all she
could do not to tack on 'you stupid uncute tomboy!' to the end of that statement.

Akane spared a disdainful glance at her father, who was now sobbing incoherently as
Kasumi tried vainly to make him calm down. It was obvious no help would come from
there."Fine, as the heir to the Tendou school of Anything Goes martial arts, I accept your
challenge. Just give me a minute to get changed." Akane ran off and reappered a few
minutes later dressed in her yellow gi.

Ranko frowned slightly. She had been hoping to just bully Soun into giving up the sign
without a fight by invoking Happosai's name. On the other hand, she wasn't actually
engaged to Akane right now, and no one would remember any of this once she returned to
her old life. As that thought struck her, she felt a sense of complete freedom - she could do
whatever the hell she liked and none of it would matter since once she kissed Ranma
everything would go back to normal with no one but her remembering any of this. Slowly, a
grin began to spread across her face.

Akane took up a standard kempo stance opposite Ranko. Even if she wasn't sure that Ranko
was a martial artist at all, for her to have that effect on her dad indicated that
underestimating her would be foolish. Ranko didn't bother to take a stance, and just
continued fanning herself.

Nabiki looked between the two and sighed. It was times like this she was glad to have given
up martial arts, it obviously made people crazy. "Are you both ready?" She asked.

"Yes." Akane responded emphatically. Ranko simply inclined her head in a bare nod.

Nabiki just shook her head. She knew her little sister was very good, but something about
this Ranko girl unsettled her. Which was odd, since Nabiki made it her business to know
about everyone in her school, and Ranko had always seemed like such a nonoffensive,
shirking violet type. For her to come out and challenge the dojo was passing strange. "This
fight for the sign of the Tendou dojo. Victory is decided by when one of you is unable to
fight or submits. Begin." she announced, stepping swiftly away from the fighters.

"Kiai!" Akane shot forward with a thrust kick aimed at Ranko's midsection. Just as it looked
like Akane was about to connect, surely ending the fight in a single powerful blow, Ranko
snapped her fan closed and moved faster than anyone could follow, making use of the old
pervert's pipe trick to send Akane flying into the dojo wall.

"Th-that's the Master's technique!" Soun gasped, actually paying attention to his
surroundings now.

Akane groggily picked herself and started swaying around the dojo for several seconds
before she regained control "Hey, that doesn't count! I wasn't ready!" She yelled angrilly.

Ranko just opened her fan once more to use it for it's original purpose "I'm sorry, I really
shouldn't have countered when you weren't ready, what with your foot about to hit my
sternum and all." She remarked as if commenting on the weather, using the soul of ice to
keep calm even though she was rather shocked at herself for actually hitting the tomboy -
even if it was just a gentle ki enhanced nudge to redirect her momentum.

Akane started to fume even more "Well you were using a weapon!"

"It is Anything Goes, Akane." Nabiki pointed out not so helpfully, earning a vicious glare
from her little sister.

"Alright, this time for real!" Akane exclaimed, tightening her belt before charging back into
the fray, launching a series of high punches and foot sweeps to catch the arrogant redhead off

Ranko of course saw the attacks coming a mile away and deftly evaded each of them. All
she needed now was a manga to read and it would be just like sparring with her own Akane
back home. After a few minutes of this to let Akane tire herself out, Ranko grabbed Akane's
extended foot and tripped her before lunging over her for a knife hand strike which stopped
just before touching Akane's neck, using her own legs to pin the girl she softly asked "Do
you yield?"

Akane twitched several times, but was unable to get any leverage to escape. A pained sigh
escaped her lips before she sadly nodded. "You beat me."

Ranko gave a small smile, glad that Akane didn't seem too upset and was about to claim her
prize when Soun rediscovered his backbone.

"How dare you beat up my little girl! You won't get the dojo sign until you defeat me!" He
roared, having switched from sobbing wreck to overbearing tyrant with no emotional states

"Dad! I'm not really hurt!" Akane tried to placate him, mortified that he was implying she
needed protection in front of the girl she had just decided was now her arch rival.

"Are you challenging me for my new dojo sign?" Ranko arched an eyebrow towards him,
looking forward to what she was about to do next.

"Until you defeat the master of the Tendou school, the sign stays right here!" Soun
announced, assuming a horse stance opposite Ranko.

"I see it has come to this. Very well!" Ranko announced dramatically, even though she was
struggling to keep from laughing at what she was about to do "You force me to unleash a
technique of the Anything Goes school so powerful, that the Master himself sealed it away
from the world. But I have uncovered it's horrifying secret!" She reached into her gi and
pulled out a small firecracker "Face the terror of the Anything Goes Final Attack:

And now we witness Soun's emotional rollercoaster shoot right back to 'sobbing wreck' as he
unleashes the only known defence against such a devastating technique. "I'm sorry! I'm
sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" He babbled, moving into the 'Crouch of the
Wild Tiger' and presenting the sign to Ranko "I didn't mean it! Please, take the dojo sign."

"What?" Akane exclaimed, genuinely puzzled by this latest development "It's just a little

"You weren't there, Akane!" Soun protested "When the Master used that dreaded
technique... it was truly awful. I shudder to think that it has been unleashed upon the world
once more, but I would rather sacrifice the dojo sign than sacrifice the entire dojo itself!"

"Well, I'll just take the sign and be off. Bye!" Ranko grabbed the sign and swiftly departed
the dojo, leaping over the outer wall and making her way to a safe distance before she
unleashed a gale of laughter "Damn! I haven't had that much fun in ages. I guess I can sorta
understand why the old letch treats them like that, they just ask for it!" She remarked
cheerily before a full body shiver ran through her "Understand Happosai? Brrr, I need a

Meanwhile, back at the Tendou dojo, three concerned daughters were trying to get some
sense out of their father "Okay daddy, who is this Happosai guy that you're so afraid of?"
Nabiki asked.

"Don't say his name lest you summon him!" Soun desperately protested.


In a remote part of Japan a large boulder covered with wards on a mountainside abruptly


Chapter 3

Ranko arrived early for school on Monday morning, still feeling good about her productive
weekend and looking forward to a quiet day at school. Her anonyminity amongst the
students and staff at Furinkan meant she didn't have to worry about perverts trying to hit on
her, and the teachers never called on her for answers. As she entered the school grounds, she
noticed there was a fairly large crowd milling around in anticipation. Curious, she spotted
Daisuke and went to ask him what was going on. "Hey, Daisuke, what's all this fuss
about?" she jerked a thumb towards the crowd

Daisuke started slightly at being addressed so informally by a girl and turned to face her
"Oh, Xiawang-san, it's..." He trailed off and stared as if seeing her for the first time.

Ranko fidgeted nervously under his scrutiny "What? Somethin' on my face?"

"Oh... ah... no." He shook his head "Did you do something with your hair?"

Ranko blanched. He was noticing her! This could ruin everything! "Yeah, I took it outta the
pigtail." She averted her eyes hoping to avoid encouraging him, but only succeeded in
looking even more adorable "Anyway, what's everyone so-" She was cut off as a new voice
rang out across the school.

"Reiko Xiawang! I challenge you!"

Much eyebrow twitching. "That's Ranko!!" She yelled back at Akane, who had now arrived
and was the centre of attention.

Akane blushed before regaining her righteous fury "Whatever! I have come to challenge you
to regain the sign of the Tendou dojo!"

Much whispering broke out among the students. "Akane's fighting Ayanami?" "The poor
girl's gonna get creamed!" "I never knew Akane was a bully!" "What's that about a sign?
Did she steal it or something?"

Ranko twitched even more as she heard several people refer to her as 'Ayanami'. Man, this
girl musta had a pathetic life before I came along...

Nabiki of course was now taking multitudes of bets on Akane beating up Ranko, and
looking forward to making a killing.

"Why are you challenging me? This is a school!" Ranko protested plaintatively, desperate to
avoid showing her skills, which would undoubtedly result in Kuno deciding she was his
'fierce tigress' or whatever.

"I don't know where you live..." Akane muttered, sounding slightly embarrased. "So are we
going to fight?"

At the lack of action, discussion throughout the schoolyard switched topics. At least between
the boys anyway "Hey, does Ranko look different to you?" "Yeah, she seems... well,
hotter!" "How come we never noticed before?" "I hear ya buddy. She might be short, but
she's got huge-"

"HEY!!" Ranko turned a murderous glare on the boy that said the last remark, who instantly
shrank back and decided new underwear might be in order.

"Stop ignoring me!" Akane stamped her foot petulantly "I'm issuing a dramatic challenge

Ranko pinched the bridge of her nose. This could not be happening to her! "Look Akane, I
beat you yesterday. Unless you've done some incredible training over the past sixteen hours,
there's no point in us fighting."

"You were lucky!" Akane shot back. "Are you going to accept my challenge or are you a

"What did you call me?" Ranko asked, a hard edge to her voice.

"A coward! You're chicken, Ayanami!" Akane started flapping her arms like wings and
making clucking noises.

Kuno had appeared now and was yammering on about 'permitting no other terms' for
something or other, but everyone's attention was on the current spectacle, so he was ignored.

While initally offended at the accusation of cowardice, Ranko was now in a state of shock as
she boggled at Akane's impromptu barnyard animal impression. She knew she was being
insulted, but Akane seemed to be making herself look pretty stupid too. Still, an insult was
an insult. "Consider your challenge accepted." She beckoned Akane onwards and gave an
arrogant smirk that always pissed her opponent off.

Akane charged forward with an agressive high kick towards the redhead that momentarily
stunned Ranko as she was treated to a great view of the tomboy's panties. No wonder those
guys fought her every morning... was her single coherent thought before it connected.

"Oh my god! Akane killed her!" one girl screamed as Ranko dropped like a sack of bricks.

"Ha! I knew I'd win!" Akane cheered and posed triumphantly "Still... I expected more of a
challenge..." She turned away from her downed foe and noticed everyone looking at her in
varying degrees of shock "What?" She asked, genuinely puzzled.

"H.. how could you, Akane?" Sayuri gasped out.

"What? It was a martial arts duel." Akane protested, all innocence.

"You can't go around beating people up and just saying it's okay 'cause it's a martial arts
duel!" Yuka yelled angrily at her apparently psychotic friend.

Nabiki, meanwhile was in shock for a different reason, as she had expected Ranko to win,
which would have earned her a tidy sum from the betting pools. Just as she was starting to
formulate plans for revenge, she noticed Ranko rising, seeming none the worse for the wear.
"Fight's not over, little sis!" She called out cheerfully.

Akane barely had time to turn around before Ranko seemed to blur and Akane dropped
unconscious. Ranko then sniffed haughtily and marched into the school building.

"Wow, I barely saw her move!" Hiroshi commented.

Nabiki felt a warm and fuzzy feeling wash over her as she realised all the money taken was
hers since no one had bet on Ranko. She hugged the wad of bills to her busom with a
contented smile on her face. Then she realised she'd better check on her little sister and went
over to drag Akane to the nurse's office. "Hmmm... uncute?" She read the lettering on
Akane's forehead, made from a large number of tiny bruises joined together.

As everyone proceeded in to school, Kuno was left in the schoolyard. "Right then," He said,
sounding less sure of himself than normal due to the lack of reaction to his stirring and
emphatic speech "So we're all going to attack Akane Tendou tomorrow for the privelege of
dating her...?"

"I'm with you sempai!" A sickly sounding voice spoke up, belonging to none other than
Gosunkugi - the only person to have payed any attention to the 'Shooting Star of Furinkan


Ranko trudged home after a very stressful day at school. She had hoped that her demolition
of Akane, coupled with her past unpopularity, would have put the guys off. Instead she had
to put up every boy in her class, and a few from others, hitting on her throughout lunch.

Then there was the way Akane and her friends glared at her every chance they got. Sure,
writing 'uncute' on the tomboy's forehead was maybe a little bit over the top, but she should
be able to take a joke. Besides, it was fair payment for landing that cheap shot by flashing
her panties "And she calls me a pervert!" She remarked huffily.

On the plus side, Kuno was still unaware of her existence, though she had expected him to
go nuts after hearing about Akane's defeat, she hadn't seen him all day. Still, it was small
consolation. Right now all she wanted to do was drop off her school stuff and then pay a visit
to the bathhouse for a nice relaxing soak. After that maybe she'd go and visit mom for some
cooking lessons or something. It was nice being able to spend time with her without having
to worry about a splash of hot water and the resulting disembowelment that would follow.
She still yearned to be with Nodoka as her son, but she'd take what she could get.

She arrived at her home and changed into a blue and yellow yukata that she had bought the
other day. Looking around her room, she made a mental note to purchase a futon or bedroll,
since the western style bed felt wierd to her and was difficult to sleep in. But that, and
redecorating, could wait for another day. She was far too tightly wound right now, and just
wanted to relax.

After arriving at the bathhouse she realised a fatal flaw in her 'relaxation plan'; she was
surrounded by acres of hot, naked, nubile female flesh. Sure, she turned into a girl, but that
didn't mean she was dead!

Rinsing herself off while very carefully not paying attention to her surroundings, she then
went over to an isolated corner of the sentou and closed her eyes, just letting the warm water
relax her. After a few minutes she heard someone else getting in the bath near her. Opening
her eyes it was all she could do not to gag. What the hell was Kodachi Kuno doing here?!

Ranko then realised that even if Kodachi's leotards left little to the imagination, seeing the
Black Rose in all her naked glory was something else entirely. She quickly averted her eyes,
but not before Kodachi noticed her scrutiny.

"Is there something I can do for you?" She asked in an amused tone.

"Um..er..." Ranko began uncertainly, doing everything she could to not look at the feast of
feminine pulchitrude before her "Aren't you Kodachi Kuno?" She finished lamely.

"Indeed I am. No doubt you are wondering why a member of the noble house of Kuno
would frequent such a plebian establishment?"

I wouldn't have put it like that, but... "Yes?" Ranko said, wondering if Kodachi was going to
pull out a ribbon and go off on her 'Black Rose' spiel. Then she wondered where she'd pull
the ribbon from and promptly derailed that train of thought.

"We are having problems with the plumbing at the Kuno estate, and rather than wait for
them to be fixed, I decided to avail myself of this establishment." She sighed in a put upon
manner "It has been a most stressful day."

"What happened?" Ranko asked, wondering why she was continuing this conversation when
all reason dictated she should get the hell away from the rose obsessed psycho.

"Since you know who I am, no doubt you are familiar with my status as rythmic gymnastic
champion for this region?" Kodachi didn't wait for a response before continuing "I was
engaging in some enthusiastic sparring with a rival team prior to our match this week, when
this most ill mannered little trollop comes along and steals my ribbon. Naming it
'Martinique' of all things."

Ranko valiantly supressed her urge to laugh at this, although it did lighten her mood

"Anyway," Kodachi continued, not noticing Ranko's barely concealed mirth "I attempted to
reason with her," by throwing explosive medicine balls and paralysis gas sachets "before this
handsome but perverted brute happens along and retrieves my ribbon. I was initially grateful
of course, but then he tried to molest me!"

Ranko actually felt some sympathy for Kodachi at this, having been in a similar situation
herself. "I hope you taught him a lesson."

Kodachi smiled wickedly "But of course. I made use of a hallucinogenic agent to dampen
his ardour. Right now I imagine he's still running around trying to stop the clowns from
eating him." Kodachi let loose a burst of her trademark psychotic laugh, and for once Ranko
laughed with her, pleased that the pervert Sanzennin had gotten his comeuppance.

Their amusement was interrupted when screaming began to come from the other end of the
bathhouse. Both girls stood up and glanced around, wondering what was going on before
Ranko suddenly started shivering uncontrollably.

"Are you alright?" Kodachi put an arm around Ranko, sounding genuinely concerned.

"I... sense... evil..." She gasped out before a small blur appeared and landed on her chest,
resolving into a familiar figure.



Chapter 4

Seeing the perverted little homunculi attached to her breasts, Ranko acted completely out of
habit and instinct before her shock at his early arrival could set in.

"A most impressive punch." Kodachi noted dryly, looking at the hole in the ceiling caused
by Happosai's departure.

"Happosai... how could he be here?" Ranko wondered, slightly dazed and not hearing
Kodachi, or the other women who were cheering her victory over the molester.

"Pardon? You know that... creature?" Kodachi asked, giving Ranko a suspicious look.

Ranko seemed to centre herself before facing Kodachi, being very careful to keep her gaze
above the other girl's neck "I wish I didn't, trust me. I never expected him to show up here."
At least not yet, she added silently. "I'm gonna have to go and find him. It was nice talkin' to
ya, Kodachi." She gave the taller girl a wave as she rose from the bath and went to get

Kodachi smirked "Nice? I am the Black Rose of St Hebereke, nothing concerning me is ever
'nice' I assure you." She twirled her ribbon, releasing a storm of black rose petals and
laughing maniacally.

Ranko paused and gave Kodachi an odd look "Where did that ribbon come from?"

Kodachi stumbled slightly and hid the ribbon behind her back, blushing furiously "Don't you
have somewhere to be?" She suggested nervously.

"Um... right..." Ranko offered uncertainly "See ya around Kodachi."


"So, did Tofu-sensei make all your hurts go away? Did he kiss your booboo all better?"
Nabiki teased her sister as the pair made their way home from school after Akane had
insisted on making a detour to doctor Tofu's practice. Personally, Nabiki felt that if she ever
had an insulting bruise on her forehead she'd do everything possible to avoid the object of
her affections, but Akane seemed to feel otherwise.

"Shut up, Nabiki!" Akane hissed, looking around in terror of anyone overhearing and
discovering her oh so secret crush.

Nabiki just laughed at Akane's discomfort before they were both distracted by a tiny old man
falling out of the sky and making an impressive crater. Even more surprising was that he
immediately got up seeming none the worse for wear.

"That redhead packed a mean wallop." He commented admiringly as he dusted himself off.

"Are you alright mister? Do you need us to take you to the doctor?" Akane asked, only
slightly concerned for the old timers wellbeing.

"Any excuse, eh Akane?" Nabiki snorted.

The wrinkled little gnome looked up at the pair and grinned "All I need to feel better is a
good hug!" before promptly attaching himself barnacle like to Akane's chest.

Akane screamed and hit him several times before he was dislodged "How dare you! You
wretched little pervert! Who the hell do you think you are?!" She raged furiously.

"Why I'm Happosai, the grandmaster of the Anything Goes school of martial arts!" The little
man puffed himself up proudly at that announcement.

"Happosai? As in the guy that taught our dad?" Akane clarified, as if there was more than
one grandmaster of Anything Goes named Happosai.

Happosai gave her a look with a bit more interest than his previous casual lechery "So...
you're one of Soun's girls are you?"

Akane nodded eagerly, her previous anger forgotten - he could teach her to beat that upstart
Ranko after all! "I'm Akane Tendou and this is my sister Nabiki." she said by way of
introduction before naively adding "One of your students took our dojo sign yesterday, can
we have it back?"

"One of my students defeated the Tendou dojo?" Happosai seemed rather surprised at that
news "Which one?"

"Ranko Xiawang. She said it was as revenge for what our dad did when he sealed you
away." Akane offered, Nabiki seeming content to stay silent and observe.

Happosai's pupils expanded to cover his entire eyes and started to shimmer "Lil' Ranko-chan
avenged me? Oh happy day! I bet she grew up to be a real cutie too!"

"The boys at school seem to think so." Nabiki finally joined the conversation, sensing a
chance to glean some info "You say you haven't seen her since she was a little girl?"

Happosai nodded cheerfuly "I didn't expect her to even remember me, but I can remember
like it was yesterday..."


Chibi-Ranko was sitting by herself in a park, crying. Along came Happosai, looking tall and
bishonen, despite this only being ten years ago. Even if he was an evil pervert, Happosai still
can't stand to see little children unhappy, so he went over to comfort Ranko "What's wrong
little girl?" He asked, kneeling down before her.

Ranko sniffed a few times before answering "Everyone hates me. They say I'm a 'filthy ai no
ko' because momma's from China." she sobbed wretchedly.

Happosai frowned "They're just stupid then!" he declared emphatically "I once knew a girl
from China, and she was the most beautiful and wonderful woman I'd ever met. I would
have married her too!"

"Why didn't you?" Ranko asked, her tears forgotten as she listened to the nice old man.

Happosai fidgeted nervously "Well... she got a little upset with me one day for some reason
and chased me out her village. But I've still got a special place in my heart for her." He
decided to change the subject "Anyway, a lot of people are just stupid and will hate you for
no good reason. Why, some people even hate me!"

"But you're nice!" Ranko protested vehemently.

Happosai nodded sadly "It's true... but some people just cannot understand the great task I
have been assigned by destiny. It was because of my sacred mission that I lost the only
woman I ever loved..."

"What mission?" Ranko asked, enthralled by this story.

"Oh it is such a noble task! I must liberate all of my precious silky darlings!" The stunningly
bishonen Happosai pontificated, raising his fist to the heavens as the sunset framed him like
the hero out of some samurai drama.

"Wow." The little girl breathed, obviously impressed "I like silk. Can I help your mission?"
She asked hopefully.

Happosai considered her for a moment before nodding "Y'know, those two ingrate students
of mine will never amount to anything... perhaps I need a new student. Besides, you kind of
remind me of Cologne-chan. What's your name little girl?"

"Ranko Xiawang!" She announced happily, all smiles now.


"But I was barely a few weeks into training little Ranko-chan when those idiots Soun and
Genma got me drunk and sealed me in that cave..." He trailed off sullenly before brightening
again "But I'm glad Ranko hasn't slacked off in her training, I'll have to find her! Either of
you two girls know where she lives nowadays?"

Akane just stared forward twitching slightly "Silky... darlings...?" she mumbled.

Nabiki was able to retain her presence of mind however, and reacted in her usual manner to
a request for information "That will cost you five thousand yen." She held a hand out

"Oh, to think you'd charge an old man who's been sealed away in a cold dark cave for ten
long years!" He wailed theatrically "What has the younger generation come to? Let me have
a good cry in your busom!"

"Ack! Get it off! Get it off!" Nabiki abruptly lost her calm and collected demeanour as she
vainly tried to swat Happosai was groping her with wild abandon.

"I'll leave if you tell me where to find my student." Happosai suggested.

"Fine!" Nabiki yelled before rattling off the address she had discovered today while trying to
find out more about Ranko.

"That wasn't so hard now was it?" Happosai consoled before bounding off, a certain white
item of clothing dangling behind him.

"Oneechan... isn't that..." Akane pointed uncertainly after the dwindling figure of Happosai.

Nabiki herself noticed she seemed to be a lot less... restrained... around the chest. "My bra!!
I'll kill him!!" She shrieked, filled with impotent fury.


"Well, that was a bust." Ranko muttered as she returned home from her fruitless search for
Happosai. She was about to make a start on her dinner when she heard noises coming from
her bedroom. Grinning maliciously, she popped her knuckles in anticipation. Time to work
off her frustrations on the idiot that thought he could steal from her! "Oh burglar-san..." She
caroled sweetly before kicking the door in violently.

What she saw froze her in her tracks.

Pile of all her bras and panties in centre of room. Check.

Big green sack, overflowing with womens underwear, placed by window. Check.

Tiny wrinkled gnome pawing through her unmentionables while making disappointed
sounding noises. Check.

"What the hell?!" She roared angrily.

Happosai looked up at her and tutted "Ranko-chan, I'm very disappointed in you! For a
practictioner of Anything Goes martial arts, your collection is pitiful!" He indicated the pile
of her underwear "It's all plain and cotton! I only got out of that cave yesterday and already
my collection is better!" He indicated his own 'panty raid' sack. Then he emptied said sack
on the floor "Tell you what, you sort through my collection and take anything you like, just
to get your own collection started properly." He looked momentarily distraught "Just don't
say your old master doesn't do anything for you."

Of all the reactions Ranko could have expected, this was not one of them. Though in
retrospect, maybe she should have. "What's going on?" She asked weakly, showing none of
the force her earlier declaration had.

"I'm here to resume your training of course! We've got so many silky darlings to liberate, it'll
be just like we planned all those years ago!" He pointed to the Tendou dojo sign which was
currently propped up against the wall "I appreciate that you've kept up your training and
taken Soun to task for his crimes against me, but never forget the TRUE purpose of
Anything Goes."

Don't ask, don't ask, don't ask... "What purpose is that?"

Happosai blinked, not expecting her to have forgotten such a fundamental tenet of the school
"To liberate all the silky darlings which are being unjustly kept away from me of course!"

Well, you had ta ask, Ranko thought as she slumped bonelessly to the floor.

Happosai seemed puzzled at her reaction "Come on Ranko-chan, you used to get so excited
when we talked about this, remember?" He cajoled "Remember how we planned to always
stick together, as comrades in arms, as master and student, friends forever!"

"Wha?" Ranko was dimly aware that she should be sobbing hysterically at this point, but she
was just too out of it. That reaction would have to wait, for now she'd settle for stupified

"By the way Ranko-chan, we'll have to find a bigger house to keep our collections in." He
eyed her single bed for a moment before returning his attention to the stunned redhead "Until
then, I guess you should know that I can only spoon on my right side."


Chapter 5

Ranko paused in her eating as she studied the ancient lecher sitting opposite her, currently
absorbed in the process of gorging himself on her teriyaki chicken and rice. If she took him
by surprise with an all out attack, holding absolutely nothing back and employing every
dirty trick she knew, then she might just be able to kill him.

With a force of will, she shook off the idle fantasy. She was not a killer, and Happosai hadn't
really done much to actually piss her off yet. Aside from the incident at the sentou he hadn't
even made any attempt to grope her. It was certainly odd to deal with Happosai giving her
the same amount of respect he normally gave Kasumi, and having the old perv on her side
might prove useful - aside from Cologne he was probably the greatest living repository of
martial arts knowledge in the world. If she played her cards right, he would be a powerful

On the other hand, once he started up with his panty raids (although his big green sack
indicated he had already started) and her association with him became common knowledge,
her image would suffer greatly. In truth Ranko cared little for the perceptions of others, even
more so than usual since no one would remember this once she returned to her old life, but
she was unsure how Ranma would react to Happosai. Without the nyannichuan curse,
Ranma would suffer a lot less under the old man's depredations, but Happosai was still
pretty much inherently unlikeable, and would likely still torment Genma's son out of

Since that would hamper her efforts to make Ranma fall in love with her, she decided it
would be best if she wasn't associated too closely with him. But how to get rid of him
without making him an enemy?

Not having any inkling of the direction of his favoured student's thoughts, Happosai released
a loud belch before speaking "That was delicious, Ranko-chan! You sure know how to treat
an old man right." he entused over her cooking.

Aha! Inspiration strikes! "Y'know, I'm not really all that good a cook. Kasumi Tendou is far
better than I am. Maybe you should drop in on the Tendou's for a while... see if Soun hasn't
lost his skills?" She said with an innocent 'butter wouldn't melt' expression on her angelic

Happosai waved her off dismissively before rubbing his stomach in contentment "Bah!
Forget that ingrate, why would I want to waste my time with those losers."

"Because he has three beautiful teenage daughters? Not to mention all that space in the dojo
for you to keep your collection?" She offered helpfuly.

"I bet none of them are as beautiful as you are, Ranko-chan!" Happosai retorted

Ranko blinked in surprise. She was used to compliments on her looks, but normally
Happosai would glomp her after a statement like that. Why the heck am I blushing?! She
thought on feeling her face heat up. Giving herself a mental shake, she decided to give up on
foisting him off on the Tendou's, which left plan B - wear him out so he'll be too tired for any
panty raids in the near future "Seeing as you've been gone for so long, maybe we should
have a sparring match so you can see how I've improved?"


"Boy Ranko, you look awful." Yuka remarked on seeing the redhead blearily stagger into
class just before the warning bell the next morning.

"Bidah!" Ranko spared the other girl a baleful glance through bloodshot eyes and stuck out
her tongue before collapsing into her seat and trying to catch some sleep.

A few hours later she was roused upon hearing a ruckus outside as the girls gym class ran
screaming after a panty thief. "Energetic little bastard..." she grumbled half heartedly.

In truth she was actually pretty happy. Even if her plan failed, and she suffered a blow to her
pride as Happosai had more energy than her, last night's sparring had been immensely
satisfying. Normally her fights with Happosai were fairly short, with one of them using some
stupid dirty trick to beat the other, but last night they had battled for hours, going nearly all
out. The old perv had even critiqued her form and offered some useful pointers for
improvement. He had observed some similarities in her style compared with the Saotome
school, but since her style had been evolving differently from Genma's over the past few
years it wasn't anything major. He had also seemed inordinately pleased with the Amazon
influence in her style, commenting that she reminded her of his 'dear Cologne-chan'.

It was in the wee hours of the morning when they had finally called a halt to their sparring,
and she had barely posessed enough energy to kick him out of her room when they returned
home. No way in hell was Happosai sleeping with her, even if he was a lot more tolerable.

"Well Ranko, aren't you going to do soemthing about your master stealing girls' underwear?
Or are you a pervert too?" The snippy voice of an irate tomboy interrupted her recollections,
causing everyone else in the class to draw shocked gasps.

The tired redhead made an unsucessful attempt at stifling a yawn before turning her
attention to Akane "He's your master too Akane." She pointed out.

Akane didn't have a verbal reply, but her expression screamed out 'Crap! I never thought of
that!' and turned the attention of the class back on her.

"Are all martial artists perverts or something?" One girl asked.

"Would explain Kuno." Hiroshi snorted.

"And it would explain what happened at our last sleepover at Akane's." Sayuri put in,
earning a sage nod from Yuka.

"Yeah, no one's that clumsy. I mean honestly, the way she kept spilling juice on our

Akane was standing in mute horror as the tide turned against her, while Ranko chose to
ignore them and go back to sleep. Which is a pity as she would have been incredibly
amused/disturbed at what came next.

"I didn't want to say anything, but I noticed an ecchi magazine under Akane's mattress..."
Miyo joined the debate "It was really disgusting, I think it was called Chicks with-"

"Ahahaha! We don't need to talk about that!" Akane shot over and clamped a hand over
Miyo's mouth before she could finish that damning statement, but the damage was done. She
turned a burning glare on the blissfuly snoring redhead "Damn you Reiko - I mean Ranko
Xiawang! For the insult of the porn, I will make you pay!" She cried out to the heavens,
which only resulted in a blackboard eraser being thrown at her head.

"Tendou, buckets, hall." The teacher reprimanded her.

"Hai sensei." Akane went off to do her punishment, all the while boiling with rage towards
the new bane of her existence.


"Good afternoon Ranko-chan, how was school?" A jovial voice greeted the former boy as
she returned home that day.

"It was okay." She shrugged noncommitaly before taking in the sight before her. Her entire
apartment was festooned with womens' underwear hanging from every surface. Kneeling by
the kotatsu, Happosai was humming cheerfuly as he ironed the creases out of some panties.
"You don't suppose you could lay off on the panty raids for a bit?" She asked hopefuly.

Happosai snorted "You may as well ask me to stop breathing."

"Only if I thought it would work..." She muttered under her breath.

"What was that?"

"Nothing! I was just thinking that maybe since my apartment obviously isn't big enough to
hold all of your silky darlings, maybe you should move somewhere else... like say, the
Tendou dojo?"

"Nonsense!" Happosai scoffed "I've already had a look around the neighbourhood and seen a
few big houses for sale we could move into."

Ranko placed both hands on her hips and glared down at the diminuitive pervert,
unconsciously adopting the 'nagging housewife' position "If you think I'm forking out my
cash just so you can have a place to keep yer panties you can think again!"

"Oh ye of little faith. I can easily afford to buy a house for us both. If you live long enough
you don't have to work for your money to increase." Happosai said sagely before picking up
a pair of pink panties and rubbing them over his face.

Ranko paused in her tirade. That made sense, but... "Then what's with all the stealin' and
skippin' out on bills?"

Happosai blinked "Training of course." He studied her carefuly for a moment "You know
Ranko, while I was very impressed with your skills last night, it seems that you've forgotten
many of the fundamental tenets of the art."

Ranko sighed and rubbed her temples. "Whatever. I'm going to visit mom, you can put that
wealth of yours to use by eating out tonight."

"Your mother? Why aren't you living with your parents?" Happosai asked curiously.

"Huh? Oh, right... yeah..." Ranko hedged for a moment before remembering the fiction
surrounding her life "My parents are dead, I'm going to visit Mrs Saotome. She lets me call
her mom since I'm kinda engaged to her son."

"Saotome..." Happosai considered this for a moment before his eyes got really big "As in
Nodoka? Genma's wife? You're engaged to Ranma?"

"Yeah, that's the one." She confirmed.

"Oh, well good luck with that. Off you go then." Happosai shooed her out the door before
sitting down in thought, idly lighting up his pipe "I thought Soun and Genma were going to
marry their kids to take over that dojo of Soun's? I wonder what happened?"