I shook out my orange hair before beginning to throw it in to a quick messy bun on the top of my head as I stood in front of the mirror in my apartment. It was a crappy little shoebox in the middle of the city with a stupid lock that got stuck all of the time, a kitchen light that buzzed constantly, an air condition that only worked when it wanted to and plumbing that let out hot water for a total of three minutes every three hours. Pathetic. My place and my hair. It was orange, not naturally orange, but unnaturally orange. It was the color of orange tulle for lack of a better description. I liked the color orange. I'd dyed my hair when I'd moved here and liked it so much I'd continued to do so. Just seeing my black roots start to peak sometimes sent me in to a rage. They had, had black hair.
I took a deep breath and looked myself up and down. I was wearing some rather short shorts in black and a matching black top with some black boots on my feet. I'd put on a plain black choker and probably more eyeliner than I needed. I spun around and fished my lipstick out of the bag that rested on my bed- my bed that sat on the ground in the center of my small room. I applied some of the black lipstick and jammed it in to my pocket before heading out, hitting the light switch on my way.
My living room and kitchen were one room, only different by one half having tile and the other half carpet. The kitchen was a few counters, a pantry, a sink, a stove and a fridge. The living room was a small tv and a couch that had books littering the floor around it. I kept saying I was going to clean it up. I would… eventually.
I made my way to the fridge and yanked it open only to find it bare. I shouldn't have been surprised. I pushed it back shut and then rubbed my temples. Worthless. Worthless. Worthless. You can't even shop right! I took a deep breath. The voices weren't real. They'd never been real. The voice itself was real. It belonged to him.
I took a few deep breaths to calm myself. I would go shopping when I got off of work. Simple. I cast another look around my bare apartment. There was no art or mail scattered around. There was one simple picture frame of me and… her. It was lying faced down today. I'd pick it up tomorrow. Weakling. Weakling. Weakling. I grinded my teeth together as I headed to my front door. I looked at the calendar that rested behind it.
"I'm not a weakling!" I told the calendar, "I'm here! I'm looking directly at you and I'm not fucking afraid!" I ripped the stupid thing off of the wall and watched it fall, the bright red words taunting me; "2 years since their death".
I stomped on the stupid thing and then crossed the room and kicked open my room door letting it bang in to the wall. I walked over to my bed and bent down to pick up the picture I'd kicked over just this morning. I let my gaze rest on it for a little; the picture of me and the girl that had my face. I took a deep breath. I could hear her then. Hadley, you didn't save me! You didn't protect me!
"I tried!" I screeched at her and she silenced immediately.
She was always yelling at me- blaming me for her death. It wasn't my fault! It wasn't! I hadn't killed my twin sister! I hadn't. I had loved her. I had loved her more than anything in this God forsaken world. It wasn't me that had taken her life. I hadn't. I had never thought about it. She was one half of me. She had taken half of me to her grave. It must have been the sane half. She had taken half of me and our mother. They had gone off without me- the two of them. They had gone off without me. They hadn't waited for me. They'd left me behind. They'd left me behind and our mother's husband, their killer, had gotten to go. He'd gone with them. He had. I took a deep breath and then turned away from the picture frame. Hansley could bitch at me when I got back from work. I didn't have time for this right now.
I hurried out of the room before she could draw me back in and made my way to the front door. I kicked my calendar in to the kitchen area and then quickly let myself out. I made my way down the dark dingy hall. It smelled like mold and I knew I would need to buy candles soon. Water was falling a few feet in front of me from a hole in the roof that had never been fixed. There were a couple of people sitting on the floor between two other apartments a ways down from mine. They were obviously strung out on something or another. I didn't understand how they did it. Drugs just made the voices louder. They must have liked drugs. They must have liked them a lot. I pushed open the door that led to the stairs and started down them, sticking my hands in my pockets. I took the stairs quickly. I was used to running down the stairs. We'd had stairs; my family and I; my mother and sister and step-father. We'd had stairs in our old house.
When I made it to the bottom I pushed the door open and came face to face with me neighbor. He looked at me from my head to my feet.
"You okay, Hadley?" he moved backwards holding the door open for me.
"You eating kid?"
I nodded again.
"Be careful out there."
I nodded again and he sighed. Besides my name, he didn't get much out of me. I thought his name was Brandon or something. He lived on the left side of me. He brought me food from his restaurant job if he saw me and I looked too thin. I forgot to shop sometimes. I forgot to eat. It wasn't all the time. It was just sometimes. It wasn't all the time, not at all. I just got busy sometimes. That was all. I just got distracted. Hansley kept me busy. She kept me awake and busy that Hansley.
When I made it to the front door I was glad to be out of the building. I took a huff of the fresh air. It was drizzling now. I liked drizzle. It was refreshing. I walked in to it and let it fall on to me. I didn't care about my eyeliner or my lipstick. It could run for all I cared. I walked slowly to my job. I bartended. I wasn't old enough to bartend, but it was easy to get fake ID when you were a girl like me with no morals. I was sure the person that hired me knew I was underage, but he'd felt sorry for me. I was fine with that. I worked two blocks from my apartment and I made it there relatively quickly, too quickly for my own pleasure. I would have to listen to other people's voices today. They would talk to me and try to buy me drinks. They would make me want to slam my head against the wall until I lost consciousness. I didn't like other voices. I liked Hasley's voice. I walked in to the club and grabbed my ponytail holder from where it rested in my head, yanking it out and letting my wet orange hair fall free and begin to cling to the back of my shirt and neck.
I leaned back comfortably in my chair. Harley was enjoying herself, dancing on this guy and that one and I was enjoying watching her. I just wanted to drink tonight and the only way to get her to leave me the hell alone for long enough for me to get any sort of buzz was to make sure she was amused. This place was easily full of guys willing to keep her attention. It was funny really watching men swoon around Harley, knowing that she could turn on them and snap their neck if she chose to. I was happy that I didn't feel the need to snap one of their necks. Today was one of those days where I could care less about what Harley did. Those days were often and many. Every once in a while I would want to cuddle her and then murder her. She had made herself stick beneath my skin and I hated her for it often. Who did she think she was making herself an asset to me? Who did she think she was making ME care for HER? Who did she think she was sticking around for as long as she had and making me somewhat protective over her? I squeezed the glass in my hand a little tighter and resisted the urge to throw it and hit her upside the head. She was an asset all the same. She was sort of beautiful dancing the way she was.
Harley. My sweet Harley. The way I switched between my emotions for her should have frightened me, but they didn't. Nothing frightened me. If death didn't strike fear in to my heart, something as trivial as emotions never would. I watched Harley twine her arms around someone's neck. Her pigtails were begging me to grab her by them. They needed to be dyed again and just looking at them pissed me off. How irresponsible was she? She took orders. She wasn't out making plans. The least she could do was take care of her appearance. I would tell her so and then when she dyed her hair I would hold her under the rushing water a few seconds too long. That would surely teach her. Harley should have known better. If she did things that she was supposed to, I wouldn't have to punish her, but of course she never did. She always had to do too little or too much. There was no balance. I would balance her on the edge of a building… and then push her off. I shook my head. I still needed her. I would probably end up jumping after the idiot girl.
I scoffed. Harley was a lot of things, an actual idiot not one of them. She had been a doctor once upon a time… before I had broken her and what a great broken creation she had proved to be. She was still in the center of the dance floor. She was wearing a little silver dress and matching heels. Her light blonde hair was pulled in to two pigtails, one rimmed with electric pink and the other electric blue. She had red lipstick that I both liked and hated. She was attempting to join me. She was mocking me. She was dancing on the line of the two.
Shouting began to take over the club and then I heard glasses break. I shot a glance towards Harley to make sure I hadn't zoned out and she'd done something stupid. She hadn't. She was looking at me in the same way. I was part touched and part irritated. She'd wanted to protect me… I didn't need her stupid protection. I had been taking care of myself long enough.
My curiosity led me towards the yelling and I weaved through the crowd. What I saw at the bar was a man, his face slammed down on to it and a girl, easily 19 holding it there, her teeth visibly gritted in rage. She had unusually orange hair, damp and surrounding her. People were murmuring and the man's head was bleeding. It looked like she'd hit him over the head with a bottle. A rather large man made his way to her side.
She growled at him and he put a hand to her shoulder anyway.
"Hadley?" he repeated.
"He touched me!" she picked up the man's head by his hair and then slammed it again, "I don't like being touched!" she yelled.
"Take a smoke. Come on. Let's go. I'll pay you for the night. It's fine. Come on. I'm on your side."
Hadley looked at him, her blue eyes rimmed with fury and she picked up his head and slammed it down again shrieking as she did so. She released him and then dashed away and towards what I knew to be the back exit. The larger man- obviously the owner watched her go and then began to help the injured man. I smirked.
"Puddin', what was that?" Harley asked from somewhere beside me.
I smiled widely.
"That was the new member of our family, Harley."
She clapped her hands together.
"She seems nice!" she bounced on the balls of her feet.
I scoffed. Hadley was her name. Hadley had rage in her. She was angry and fiery and she had something inside that I wanted to harness. I had broken Harley. I had taken a seemingly smart woman and made her stupid for me. I had taken her and turned her in to a walking yes-man. I had created a toy for myself. I had gotten something shiny and new and broke it because I had wanted to. This toy- this toy was already broken. I'd never had one of those. I wanted to add her to the collection.
Harley and Hadley.
That sounded mighty nice to me. It sounded nice indeed.
A/N: I haven't even seen Suicide Squad yet. I'm going see it this weekend. (Yay) BUT I've been seeing previews and I wanted to play around with these characters. This may be just a drabble. I may make it in to a full fic. I guess it depends on my inspiration, but no matter what I appreciate you reading this through! Thank you!