Happy new year! and sooooorry for leave this fic for so long! I hope you like this one. I won't make you wait so long haha
All belongs to Jojo, and thanks for her !
I'd started to panic. I could tell by the face Mrs Traynor was making, that she didn't like to be left out, specially when it concerned her. The silence could be cut with a piece of paper. Here we come, in moments, i would probably lose my job because she is going to think i'm taking advantage of her son, that i'm manipulating him somehow. I really need the floor to open and swallow me up.
'So...what is the important thing I need to approve?' Will looked at me, trying to tell me to calm down only with his eyes.
'Louisa here needs a place to stay because of family problems. So she will be staying here, in the spare room.' Wow, that was direct to the point. I was trying to hide behind Nat, so the disapproval glance couldn't reach me.
'Oh...that's so..considerate of you, Will.' Mr. Traynor said it, surprising everyone, and Camila wouldn't dare going against his husband in front of us. Well, not all the way at least.
'Yes, so generous. It would have been nice of you to tell me beforehand.' Of course, here it comes. She was sweetening us before she dropped the bomb. 'But of course, if she needs someplace to stay, it's only logical that she stays here.' WHAT? Did she just accept me sleeping next to his son? WOOOW Well...not next to him, that was just an amazing night. Stop it Louisa, you can't think like that when you are about to move in, you won't last one week otherwise!
'Thank you so much for understanding. I will look for someplace else to move, but right now it's the best option, thanks to Will..aah and both of you, I'll not kill my sister' Steven chuckled but I think that Camilla was thinking about all this situation being weird.
'Of course darling, this is Will home either way, you don't need to thank us for nothing.'
'So..why did you come here for Mom, Dad?'
'We where hoping that you would like to join us for dinner. But it seems that we are late.' She looked dissapointed. So I tried to remedy that.
'I would love to cook dinner for you tomorrow. You don't have to worry.' The moment those words left my mouth, Will glared at me, Steven smiled, and Camilla looked surprised.
'I...I don't think that's necessary, it's to much work. Thank you, but...'
'It's not a problem, really. I don't mind.'
'Thank you Louisa, we appreciate it' Steven was easy to please, actually. Camilla thank me too and both of them returned to the house. The moment the door was closed, Will cursed.
'Why would you condenm me to that? God help me!'
'It can't be that bad! I'll make a good dinner so you forgive me.' He still was glaring.
'I'll let you know tomorrow if the food was good enough to forgive that.'
Alright, all ready. I just needed to fix the table and I could go home to continue packing. In two days time, this place wil be my home. I hope that this arrangement work. And I hope that all this...things I've been feeling each time I locked eyes with Will, or each time he tries to comfort me, won't become a problem. There was a knock on the door, and I went to open it. They were just on time. I lead them to the table and called for Will.
'Oh this is lovely, thank you again.'
'Son, how are you?'
'Okay Dad, what about you?' He was rolling over to where I was standing.
'We are more than fine, this is a good evening.' I smiled, they were trying after all, to be close to their son. And it seems that their son wouldn't make it easy.
'Sorry to interrupt, but I'm going now, I leave you to it.'
'Louisa, after all this work, I was hoping you could stay and have dinner with us.' I wasn't expecting that.
'Mmmhh I should go, this is a family dinner.'
'Please stay Clark, my mother has not fed me since I was two, I don't want to go there again.' Will whispered this to me, his eyes pleading with me to stay.
'I don't know...' He kept looking at me and my resolution cracked. 'Okay, fine, I'll stay'
'Geat! Let start, this smells wonderfull' Steven clap his hands once, looking over the table deciding what to eat first. With dessert came the questions.
'So Louisa, there is something that you love? Something that you would like to spend your life doing?'
'Oh yes, there is. I love clothes, I would like to study to be a fashion designer, but whe I got the oporunity...something happened and I lose my chances.'
'That is a shame, and you didn't thought about it again?'
'Yes, but i can't. My parents depend on me for now. My Dad, you see, lost his job and my sister went to college again. Now it's not possible.' Talking about this made me sad, I'm really stuck in this town. The good thing is that now I'm stuck here but in a new environment . But the thought of not waking up on weekends to the face of my sister looking like she is always constipated, brought me some joy. Will rest his hand on my knee an squeeze as much as he can, giving me support. He didn't know that the only thing he acomplish with that was making my heart rate go up.
Will insisted on lending me the car to go home that night, so tomorrow I wouldn't have to go to de annex, go home for my things and go back to de annex. The next morning my mom was crying, as if it were the last day she was going to see me. My dad was a little sad that all this drama between the family was happening. The only thing left to do was load my belongins to the car, since I finished packing last night while thinking on the next outing to do with Will. I didn't have much, almost everything I own is clothes, and a few photos and books and some decorations that said LOU the moment you lay your eyes on them. I was waiting for Nat's text saying they were finished with routine.
'Ready to come home? We are waiting ! The tea is going to freeze!. Will
Every time a text from Will came I get exited, I didn't get used to it yet, he has his voice recognition system installed a few weeks ago, but didn't used it much.
'I'm in need of something sweet right now, I'm starting the car. L'
'It seems Nat too, he bought ALL the bakery. W'
'I did not! N'
I was laughing inside the car like a crazy woman, so I decided to just go and let my mother looking dejected, standing in the sidewalk.
'Look who's here!' was the first sentence I heard the moment I opened the door.
'Nat, you're awfully cheerful this morning' I said grinning like the Cheshire cat.
'You are one to talk.' He looked at me up and down, observing my yellow sweater and red skirt. ' I could think you're heading to a funeral' I shoved him playfully and sit next to Will.
'How bad were your parents? They want me dead yet?'
'Mom was cleaning the floor with tears and dad look sad because he knew I was avoidin my sister by leaving today'
'I think that any person that have siblings avoided them sometime' Nat said while bringing breakfast to the table.
'He really buy the bakery'
That night I was in my pyjamas, a soft gray with white stars bottoms and a Looney Toons t-shirt, heading for a drink when I heard Will call me from the living, it was early still, so he was still in the chair.
'Clark, I know where we are going next.' This take me by surprise, usually if I didn't insist, he didn't go out, execpt the strolls we take in the gardens. I stood there, waiting for him to continue, and he make me wait a little longer that he probably should, just to make me more anxious.
'We are going to Alicia's wedding.' Okay, did I heard right? He actually wanted to go? He was some kind of masochist?
'Are you kidding me?'
'Why would I be kidding you? We should go, because she won't expect me to be there. I just want to have the satisfaction to see her face fall when she sees me there. And Rupert's too, of course.'
'And you want me to go with you? I'm not going to fit in, I could even smell the posh scent in the invitation.'
'Don't be ridiculous, just put on the red dress and don't worry about it. You looked gorgeous in it.' Apparently, he didn't intent to speak this outloud, his face start to gain color just like mine did, and before losing the nerve I reply.
'Okay, it's a date'
We decide to go on a walk, and after a while, we reached the swell of the hill, and from here, at the front of the moat, we could look down the long sweep of grass to the ruined wall that had marked the boundary.
'It's weird, how the age differences seem to change so much.' I was thinking out loud.
'Look at us, we have eight years of difference. If you wanted to start a friendship with a random twelve years old, when you had twenty, they would have lock you somewhere.' At that he laughed and look at me in interest. ' But years after that, if you would want to date a twenty two years old girl, everybody would look at you like a little judgmentally, but won't say nothing, just look you with cross eyes. In a couple of years, the same people would think it cute to see an older guy with that cute little girl, such a nice couple. Come on, it's the same difference, twenty two, twenty eight or thirty.' When I finished my rant, he was smiling and chuckling while shaking his head.
'From where on earth do things like this enter your head? The funny thing is that you analyse every thought that enter your head, like you don't have any filter.' He was right, I didn't know from where either.
'I don't have any idea' His smile grew wider and he looked exited about something.
After following him in silence, his voice startled me.
''Let's do the maze. I haven't done it for ages.'
'Oh. No, thanks.' I glanced over, noticing suddenly where we were.
'Why, are you afraid of getting lost? Come on, Clark. It'll be a challenge for you. See if you can memorize the route you take in, then take the reverse one out. I'll time you. I used to do it all the time.'
I glanced back towards the house. 'I'd really rather not.' Even the thought of it had brought a knot to my stomach.
'Ah. Playing safe again.'
'That's not it.'
'No problem, lets go bore ourselves to death in the annexe.'
Perhaps I had been behaving ridiculously for years. It was all over, after all. And I was moving on. Perhaps if I enter the maze I could leave all of what happened behind and it would be good for me. So I started walking before overthinking it. Right, Left, Left, Right... When I was deep enough my bravery start to wear out. I could hear voices everywhere, shadows haunting me. I turned around suddenly, I didn't want to be here anymore, my chest started to compress, it wasn't enough air. I started walking to the exit point. I should be able to make it, I'm twenty-seven years old, it's daylight and there are no one here. Just Will, that's it, I have to go to Will. I just have to remember the turns...
'Will … ' I was sobbing now, crouched over myself.
'Will,' I was saying his name, over and over again, my voice ragged, emerging somewhere from my chest. I heard him somewhere far off, beyond the hedge.
'Louisa? Louisa, where are you? What's the matter?' I was in a corner, sitting there with my arms around me and my face wet with my tears. I just want him to find me, to take me home.
'Will … '
'Where are – ?' And there he was, in front of me.
'I'm sorry,' I said, looking up, my face contorted. 'I'm sorry. I can't … do it.'
He lifted his arm a couple of inches 'Oh Jesus, what the – ? Come here, Lou. Come on, it's okay' He moved forward, then glanced down at his arm in frustration. 'Bloody useless thing … It's okay. Just breathe. Come here. Just breathe. Slowly.'
I saw him and stood up reaching for him, the only thing in my mind in that moment was that I needed to breathe and wanted comfort. So I climbed into his lap and buried my face in his neck.
'Just take me out of here. Please.' He didn't say anything, but started taking turns quickly through the maze and we were outside in no time. He stopped next to a bench and stay quiet until I calm down completely.
'So...? You want to tell me what's going on?' His breath touched my neck and I felt a shudder run through my back. I lifted my head and looked him in the eyes. They were looking at me full of concern and the only thing I wanted was take that look away. But when I was about to started talking, my voice got stuck in my throat.
'I can't. It's not you,' I said, hurriedly. 'I haven't talked to anyone about … It's … it's stupid. And a long time ago. I didn't think … I would …' He put his good hand in my hip and it surprised me when I felt his thumb running soothing circles there, the best way it could.
'Okay. Here's a thing,' he said, finally. 'I'll tell you something that I never tell anyone. All right?'
'All right.' I watched the emotions running wild on his face while he told me about how everyone makes him feel. It was awful to feel so alone, so isolated, so scared. And I was able to understand every word and feeling he was describing.
'You, Clark,' he looked down at his hands, 'are the only person I have felt able to talk to since I ended up in this bloody thing.' So I borrowed some courage from him, and told him my story. All that I remembered, about not remembering all of what they had done. How my mind keep playing sadistic games with me every time I tried to step a foot outside town. How it still scare me to walk alone at night, fearing that they come back.
'You don't need me to tell you it wasn't your fault,' he said, quietly. I looked into his eyes and they were not disapproving, and they didn't held a trace of accusation were Wills.
'Yes. Well. I still feel … responsible. I drank too much to show off. I was a terrible flirt. I was –'
'No. They were responsible.' I wasn't entirely convinced, and he noticed. His hand tightened in my hip, and I looked up. 'Louisa. It wasn't your fault.'
Just with those four words, he lifted a world from my shoulders, it felt like some kind of dark force was leaving my body in that moment, while another force, so powerful, replace the empty space it leave behind. It fill me up, I could sense this new force making my fingertips tingle, and my chest to expand. It was so strange, I couldn't figure what was it, until I looked at him again. It was love.