Loki's Pranking Spree

"No, Mother, I will NOT take the throne, I have other plans," Loki said firmly, and left the throne room. Frigga sighed.

Loki, meanwhile, was plotting a prank spree the likes of which Asgard had never seen- and likely would never recover from. The first order of business, at least in his mind, was to get back at Odin. Teleporting into the old man's bedchamber, Loki cast a permanent color-changing spell on Odin's hair, turning it a lurid pink. He also turned the gold eye-patch green, and then teleported back to his rooms before the guards could come in.

The next hit was Sif, and Loki cackled maniacally as he turned all her clothes into pink and purple leotards and tutus- he had discovered them on Midgard. All her shoes and boots were turned to ballet slippers, and he turned all the weapons in her room pink as well. Then he went to find Sif, and as she wasn't paying attention to him, he cast a spell on her that would make anything she wore turn pink before sneaking off.

Sif's shriek of "LOKI!" was heard from one end of the palace to the other.

Loki, meanwhile, had sought out the biggest gossip in the palace, and informed her that Fandral had contracted a sexually transmitted disease that caused birth defects. The woman, horrified, promptly ran off to spread the news, and Loki went to the Healers' Rooms with a grin and a plan. He found Lady Eir, the chief healer, and informed her that he would give her and all the healers immunity to pranks in exchange for informing everyone who asked that Fandral had an incurable disease that was transmitted through sex and caused birth defects. Lady Eir sighed, but said that as long as she didn't have to tell people it was contagious, they had a deal. Loki agreed to that, and left, cackling maniacally, to prank Volstagg.

Volstagg was very put out by the curse, which caused everything he ate to turn into vegetables.

Hogun was the last to get hit individually, and Loki planned this prank carefully. Finally satisfied with his plans, he went and turned Hogun's whole body and all his armor and clothing the color and appearance of granite, turning him into a living statue.

Having succeeded in pranking Thor's rotten friends, Loki went to bed that night feeling much happier- and with plans to prank everyone else the next day.

Pranks Day 2: Loki cast a spell that would affect everyone in the palace save his mother. The spell was harmless, but everyone who was hit by it had rainbow-colored hair for the next month. The shrieks of horror and rage were music to Loki's ears.

The next thing he did was slip laxatives into the mead of every member of Odin's Council, and once the laxatives had taken effect, Loki really got down to pranking. The barracks for the Einherjar were booby-trapped with buckets of green slime that fell from the rafters at strategic intervals, until most of the Einherjar were coated in green slime. Several warriors found that all the practice weapons had turned into either rubber or were now inflatable plastic, which squeaked sadly as it popped.

People found themselves on the receiving end of every magical and non-magical prank Loki's devious mind could come up with. People were attacked by songbirds, covered in glitter, got their noses turned into pig snouts, found themselves hanging from the ceiling by their ankles, and growing tails.

Others grew horns or animal ears, got turned into hairballs by a clever spell that caused hair to grow very quickly, woke up to find they had developed polka dots all over their skin, had their skin turn some odd color, or developed stripes.

For the members of the court whom Loki REALLY didn't like, the pranks were generally worse. Those unlucky enough to draw Loki's ire found themselves waking up in compromising positions, usually dressed in clothing belonging to the opposite gender, being accused of things like theft, having their reputations torn to shreds by people they formerly considered close friends, and a lot of them got the 'laxatives in the mead' prank that Odin's Council had been subjected to.

The servants got off the easiest, most of them having nothing more than odd hair colors and the occasional pair of cat ears. And per Loki's agreement, none of the healers got pranked at all.

A week passed, and the pranks were still going strong. Finally Forseti, head of Odin's Council, approached Queen Frigga and literally begged her to do something about her son's pranks. Considering the man was down on his knees, Frigga acquiesced and sent a guard to find Loki.

There was only one problem- Loki was nowhere to be found, and his rooms were warded to keep everyone out.

It took the guards a full week to discover that Loki had been staying in the city rather than the palace, and only coming to the palace to prank people. The owner of the inn and his patrons were laughing uproariously as Loki regaled them with his pranks when two Einherjar came in looking enraged- and slimy. "Prince Loki, the Queen wishes to speak with you," one of them said through gritted teeth.

"Took you long enough," Loki said nonchalantly. He looked at the owner of the inn, and said, "I will try to come back soon; here is the price we agreed upon for the room." He handed over a sack of coins, and the landlord counted them before saying, "A pleasure, Prince Loki. You're welcome back anytime."

"My thanks," Loki said, and smirked at the Einherjar, who shuddered. "Shall we, gentleman?" Loki asked.

The two growled and marched Loki off, going straight to the palace and the throne room. The guards there looked relieved, and opened the doors. Loki walked to the end of the aisle, and knelt as his mother dismissed the guards. When they were alone, she sighed. "Honestly, Loki, do you not think this is overkill?" she asked wearily. "I realize you are upset, but this has gone on long enough."

"The whole point of the pranking spree was to cheer me up," Loki said. "And it worked, see?"

"Does that mean you will stop?" Frigga asked. "I had Lord Forseti in here begging on his knees for me to make you stop pranking the palace. It was disturbing."

"Very well, I will stop- on one condition," Loki said.

"What is the condition?" Frigga asked warily.

"I want the memory of Forseti begging on his knees," Loki said gleefully.

"Very well; you will stop pranking, and I will give you the memory," Frigga said. "Have we a deal?"

"Of course," Loki said, smiling happily. "Tell the court the spells and pranks will wear off within a week or so."

"Very well; and I will set the memory aside for you," Frigga sighed. "What do you plan to do now?"

"May I visit Thor?" Loki asked.

"I suppose that may be for the best; it will give the court time to recover," Frigga admitted.

"You should probably let Lady Sif and the Warriors Three know that their problems will never go away," Loki said, and strolled off, waving cheerfully to the guards. Frigga sighed, but was pleased Loki seemed to have gotten over the revelation of his heritage.

Enjoy the crack, and sorry that Intervention is on hold. R&R please!