Detectives, Spies, and Assassins: It's a Tea Party!

Someone bring the alcohol!

Summary: A ONE-SHOT where Alex Rider was suppose to visit Smithers' friend Agasa but instead ended up never meeting the guy. At least he got to sip his tea while others handled their own shots of alcohol. Rated T for tea-time.

Disclaimer: I don't know why anyone would need a disclaimer for a fanfiction, but here it goes: I don't own nor make money from Alex Rider nor Detective Conan. If I did, I wouldn't have struggled to make this one-shot, now would I?

Warning: Possible OOC and AU.


Alex Rider glanced down, double-checking the address messily scribbled onto the back of the envelope, before lifting his eyes up to the window. He cocked his left eyebrow up at the white Japanese Kanji boldly declaring the office as Mouri Detective Agency to any mere passersby - or an assassin.

'This Mouri person was just begging to be targeted,' Alex mused as the morning light splashed against the window glass. He hoped the glass was at least bulletproof, though any skilled sniper could get around that obstacle. Certainly, Yassen would have found this target laughably easy to take out. 'At least I know I got the right place.'

Alex was currently in Japan after Smithers decided it would be a jolly good idea to visit his like-minded friend Agasa for the summer hols. Too bad MI6 called Smithers in a day before his plane departed, and thus it was too late to get reimbursement for the trip.

It had something to do with the FBI's brewing alcohol problem. Alex wasn't sure why foreign agents drinking on the job was MI6's problem, let alone how one or more of Smithers' gadgets could help; but he wasn't about to ask any time soon.

Anyway, so now Alex was going in his stead, as Agasa's "lovely chap of a nephew" who needed a break from "gloomy ol' England." Of course, when Alex arrived at Agasa's place, he was promptly informed, by a young elementary school girl no less, that it was deemed unwise for hazardous experiments to be within the vicinity of grubby teenage hands, and was unceremoniously booted off to the Agency before him.

Alex proceeded up the stairs, bypassing the calm atmosphere of Cafe Poirot to a dingy door with muffled voices behind it. Before he could knock, the door was kicked opened, as if to punctuate the exclamation already heavily laced in a Kansai dialect: "...borrowing Tantei-kun here!" (Tantei: detective)

For any outside observer, it would be a study in contrast: a lightly toned English boy, fist raised, facing a dark toned Japanese boy, foot raised. However, said observer would've also been distracted by the kid scowling with a miffed expression, arms crossed in front of his chest. He had every right to be upset; being carried like a mere football had to be an unpleasant experience.

Alex blinked slowly at the strange scene before him before tilting his body to the left. "Is Mouri-san here?" He asked the girl behind the two boys, lowering his hand as he did so.

He was pretty sure his calm dismissal of the boys irritated the Kansai teen; but before anything could happen between them, a sharp elbow jab from "Tantei-kun" jump started the teen into breezing passed him without a single word.

"Ah, tou-san's downstairs getting coffee," Mouri's daughter explained as she wiped her hands on a dishcloth. "He'll be back in a sec. Do you need him for a case,...?" (tou-san: dad)

Hearing the unspoken question just as well the spoken one, Alex quickly replied, "Oh, no, no, nothing like that. I'm Al-, I mean Rider Alex, and I was told I'll be staying here?"

A blank expression adorned the girl's face for a few seconds before comprehension bloomed in her eyes. "Oh, I think I remember hearing something about that. Come in, Rider-san; I'll get us some tea. I'm Mouri Ran, by the way."


Alex nursed his cup of tea as he listened to Ran across from him. After Alex mentioned playing football in his spare time, Ran went on a tangent about her "not-boyfriend," Kudo Shinichi. He silently wondered whether or not Shinichi's absence had anything to do with Naicho, the Japanese version of MI6. He hoped not; he knew from experience how nasty that could be.

Alex would never know how, right at that moment, Conan and Heiji were heading straight towards a confrontation between the FBI and some Black Organization goons. Luckily, Smithers had some knowledge of AA groups; his gadgets will later be of great help during the alcohol rehab. (AA: Alcoholics Anonymous)


The stench clinging to Kogoro's clothes and the hiccups emitting from him would have woken up Alex - had the man's drunken stumble up the stairs not been enough to startle Alex off the futon he had procured for the night.

As it was, Alex was crunched down, ready for anything - save, perhaps, the apocalypse - when Kogoro came giggling into the office-slash-home.

Ran came in, stopping any potential bloody misunderstandings between the two with one word, "Otttoooouuu-saaan!"

This time, Alex was able to drink his tea as Ran bit into her dad about staying out drinking, about ignoring his responsibilities, about blah and blah and blah.

'She should have added being a bad influence to his list of crimes,' Alex noted upon seeing Conan sneak in. 'Tsk, tsk, Tantei-kun,' Alex thought, unknowingly channeling Messr. Kaito Kid.


Knocking over cups of tea, Alex and Conan sprinted to the opened window. They were rewarded with the sight of Yassen hopping onto the back of a lady's motocyle. As if he didn't have a lot to answer for a dead man, the not-so-dead man had the nerve to wave Alex goodbye. *

Alex just knew he'll get a headache when he reported back to MI6, perhaps even worse then the one he was sporting now.

As focused as Alex was on Yassen, he never noticed how a stunned Conan mouthed, "Vermouth," at the two figures fleeing from their field of vision.

It was hours later before the spy and detective learned of the nearby murder of Singani, a known assassin.**


The rest of Alex's vacation flew by in a rather uneventful fashion, in so far as much as Alex was concerned. After all, dead bodies just don't stop popping up around deaged detectives just because spies are flying around.

"You know, I never did ask how Agasa knew your uncle," Ran remarked as she and Conan led Alex through the airport.

"I think your boyfriend's father met Uncle Smithers when he purchased his 'authentic' Hawaiian shirt. Kudo-san probably decided to introduce the two inventors after uncle showed off one of his inventions." Alex shrugged as Ran went off about her and Shinichi "not being in any sort of a romantic relationship with each other whatsoever."

Beside her, Conan vaguely recalled a chubby man from his very...educational Hawaiian trip. The man almost ruined his shirt when he tested a prototype at the shooting range. 'Just like that man dow-.' A yell interrupted Conan's thoughts.

Yep, bodies will just continue dropping like flies as long as Conan is concerned.


In Her Majesty's crowning nation, a man wearing a Hawaiian shirt sneezed, blowing white powder all over his clothing - a white powder made specifically to be corrosive...



* Couldn't figure out what caught their attention or even what they were discussing over tea, so I'll leave it up to you to imagine it.

** Singani is apparently an alcoholic beverage. I never actually decided if he was involved in the B.O., but I just loved how it sounded and so used it for my one and only OC.

A/N: No Hawaiian shirts have been harmed during the making of this fic.

Though seriously, I hope you all enjoyed my first ever fanfic. I'll probably leave this as my sole fic; but still, I wouldn't mind reading reviews and criticisms! (I struggle deeply with writing character interactions and dialogue, let alone action scenes; it's a major reason why I made this a one-shot in a first place.)

On another note, I do hope this fic will bring attention to the potential of ARxDC fics. I want to read them, but besides this one, there's only one completed and one discontinued ARxDC fic on this site. Maybe now others will start writing them for me to enjoy?