It was raining again. Pounding, heaving-like smoker's breath, kind of rain. Koji stared blankly out the window, his eyes following the drip drip drip of the water droplets of his roof. He had been sitting there for hours. His long, silver hair flat against his head, dangling just below his folded legs. His apartment was dark and even if it had been lightened, he wouldn't have noticed. Each drop, each painful splash against the earth, brought back memories. Memories that he was forbidden to have or so everyone told him. His body stayed there, sitting, his legs folded, his hands pressed up against the window into the pre-pubescent hours of the morning, where the sun was waking up itself, barely shining, hazy across the sky. He stayed there like that. No singing. Not one tune in his head. Not one melody. Nothing. His mind was blank as it had been for the past few days.
"Izumi, " he said quietly, his voice cracked from not talking in so long. His fingers slid down the glass window, the rain coming in softer now, kissing the earth as it met. He watched the drops, his eyes barely moving, but seeing everything, even though his body begged him for rest. He denied it, as he denied other things. Thunder cracked through the sky, striking down lighting. He turned his head slowly, looking down at the cold wooden floor. A tear fell onto it and he sighed and slowly stood up, his legs aching and sore. He groped for the light switch-click-and the lights flooded his apartment. He shielded his eyes for a moment, before blinking rapidly, his eyes dilating and getting used to the light. He looked over his apartment. Nothing out of the ordinary, except-
Koji peered at them. No! They can't be..! They are! On top of his kitchen table rests a pair of worn, black and white soccer shoes, dirty and grimy, with a felt tip marker printing out a name on the side: Izumi. He reached over, touching the shoes gently as if they were alive. A faint smile came to his lips and he declared out loud, " He needs his shoes!" He grabbed his coat and the "scared" pairs of shoes and stormed out-nothing underneath. He wasn't a man inclined to sleeping with clothes on.

Izumi sighed and glared at the blank sheet of paper in front of him. He was writing a letter to the soccer couch, asking to send a scout to spot the right center that was on his team. He was pretty good. Not as good as me. He bit back the bitter though, then crumbled up the blank sheet of paper. He leaned his head on his hand, his mind clear for a moment. He jumped up suddenly and walked over to the living room. There was a tank filled with two goldfish. His mom had always loved goldfish and he did always want a pet of some sort. His lips tinged and he feed them, fish flakes of course, lost in watching them swim back and forth, competing for the scared flakes.
He sighed, and plopped on his couch, eyeing them for a different view. If only life were simple. Just feed me and give me oxygen to breathe. I'll survive. I am the strongest. I would dominate all those others. Darwinism. Only the strong survive. He glared bitterly at the fishes, both full and simply floating, their little fins fluttering in the water, moving their mouth in that O shape. He mimicked them for an instance, and his mouth wide and open. But then he saw him. In his mind. Inserting his tongue into his mouth. And I just let it happen. Him kissing me. He paused and closed his mouth. I just laid there. He had racked over that fact for endless hours, days even. He hadn't fought back. He never did. Not when he did get close to him. He let out a long sigh and rolled over unto the couch, grabbing the remote, clicking it on. And of course, he saw his mouth again. Him and his long silvery hair, flowing over his body, his mouth open with a sad melody. Izumi knew it. Every time he saw him on TV, Koji appeared as if called. I never fought back. He jumped up and yelled, " I don't love you! I never will!" Enraged, he slammed the remote into the TV. The protecting the pop idol, not wielding to the pressure. "Never! You hear me! Never in my-"
Ding dong. Izumi lifted his head, his hand still clutching the remote, the TV playing a commercial. His eyes searched around, widen with fear. Is it…? Sighing, he got up slowly, walking over, his classic cold plastered on his face. He gripped the handle turning it.
Koji stared back, drenching and shivering, his beauty never diminished. He held up the white and black soccer shoes. "Forgot these, " he said calmly. Izumi did nothing. Which is all he could do. There they stood, facing each other, looked in a grid iron staring match, Izumi's black dark cross eyes meeting back Koji's light, carefree, rich eyes.
Breaking the silence, Koji cleared his throat, looking down, bowing very low, setting the shoes at the doorstep. "Thought you might need them, " he said quietly. Koji turned and shoved his hands in his pockets, retreating. Izumi stood there, for a while after he saw Koji leave. The door open, blew in cold air and water, but it didn't matter.
He picked up his shoes, tossing one over the edge, bored and the other into the fish bowl. "I wouldn't play in those." And shut the door. The goldfish nipping at the shoelaces, the O in their mouth always open.