Prompt: Retrograde amnesia.

Summary: Gilbert awoke in the hospital. It was the first moment of his life as far as he was concerned. When there were people crying at his bedside, though, he began to be concerned with more than this one moment. According to this people, he'd had a life before this. Gilbert did not remember this life, but in seeing the sorrow of these people, Gilbert desperately wished he did. He did not know this people—couldn't remember a wink from a time before that hospital—but Gilbert didn't want to see them this way. Gilbert wanted to remember. –CodeVassie.

A/N: Okay! Here is the second prompt given to me by my awesome friend CodeVassie. Why is it another Amnesia fic? Because Code and I made Amnesia as the theme of our prompt exchange. If you read 'When it Fails' written by CodeVassie you will find out that it centers around traumatic amnesia. This one is about retrograde amnesia though. Well, let's start chapter 1!

Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia!

Chapter 1: Blank Slate

It's not like in the movies when someone woke up after a long time of sleeping. He didn't wake up that fast. He knew he was waking up but whenever he moved his eyelids, even just a millimeter, he instantly fell asleep again. The first time he opened his eyes fully all he saw was just a blinding white. It hurt his eyes so he opted in sleeping again. The second time, he saw a blur of yellow mixed with white, and then he closed his eyes again. The third time, he saw a face. Someone who has long blond hair and piercing blue eyes. He saw a face, and then darkness embraced him once again. The fourth time, he heard soft murmurs. He didn't understand what they were talking about and it was giving him a headache. So he did what usually happened. He left the living world again. The fifth time, he had heard a soft and soothing tune. He saw that face once again and this time the face before him was holding some kind of instrument that produced the calm music whenever the person applied air to it. He tried to reach out, he tried to speak, but he was too weak. He was too weak to do anything. His throat felt like it could not make any sound due to dryness. But the movement of his hand, that small minor twitch he managed with his limited strength, was enough to alert the person before him.

Ah… he was awake after the fifth time.

The blond man asked him something but he could not understand him properly. When this was realized by the person talking to him then he was left alone. It was not that long until other people entered his line of vision.

When he was coherent enough some man and woman in white asked him certain questions and explained to him what was happening. They had told him that he was in a hospital. That for two weeks he was in and out of consciousness. They had told him he might feel sore all over his body especially his head. They gave him all the results of his situation. They never told him the reason why he was in this room. This white and blank feeling room. The cause of the effect was still unknown for him.

His gaze found the flower vase placed on top of the bedside table. It was a beautiful bouquet of cornflowers. Somehow he could not help himself but to think that whoever the person replacing those flowers for the past two weeks was crying. He didn't know why such thought entered his mind but the droplets attached on the petals looked like tears for him.

His name was Gilbert Beilschmidt, or so what they had told him. For all he knew, the fifth time was the first time he was born in the world of the living. He didn't recognize the people that rushed towards his bed. He didn't understand why they were crying in front of him. He didn't know why they looked as if they had lost something very important.

His name was Gilbert Beilschmidt, it would just be a matter of perspective how he would step in this brand new world of him.

Ludwig Beilschmidt. That was the name of the first person he saw. Gilbert could tell how uncomfortable the blond man before him was. From the stiff way he was sitting beside the bed to the methodical way he was peeling the apple.

Gilbert was contented though. He silently munched on the slice of apple offered to him earlier. If Ludwig wanted to stay then he could stay. Gilbert would not speak of the awkward atmosphere around them. Gilbert liked the silence of the room, it gave him the peace of mind he wanted to have. Then Ludwig heaved a loud sigh. So loud that Gilbert was forced to acknowledge it.

"This is stupid." Ludwig had finally spoken after an hour he had introduced himself.

"No, it's not. I like the quiet peace. So hush, don't destroy it for me." Those were the words that Gilbert wanted to say but he chose not to open his mouth for speaking. He just continued to eat his slice of apple. You could not blame him, it was really sweet.

Oh, wait…Ludwig was his little brother, right? How silly of him to forget about it. Not that it really mattered to him right now.

"So…nothing? You really don't remember anything, Bruder?" Gilbert saw the desperation in Ludwig's eyes when he had uttered his question.

Gilbert just shrugged his shoulders. Yes, a part of him felt guilty about his current situation. With how the people that visited him looked morose around him. Like it was a grave mistake that he had forgotten practically everything, though with enough catching up Gilbert could still live alone. He still knew how to read and write. He still remembered the basic knowledge. It was just the relationships with other people that he had forgotten.

The other part of him, however, could not care less about everything. Gilbert was still alive, that was what counted the most for him. The people from his forgotten memories could deal with it. The present Gilbert had no connection to any of them.

"Why won't you speak to me?"

"What would I tell you if I did?" but, again, Gilbert just stared straight at Ludwig's eyes.

After a few minutes, the plate containing the apple slices was left on the bedside table. Gilbert lewas left alone with his peaceful silence. He picked another slice and started eating. The apples were really sweet. He just hoped that the next person that would visit him bring this sweet fruit with them.

Someone really needs to stop the woman screaming in front of him. For the love of white walls surrounding him, he didn't want to go deaf right now! Why was she so hysterical anyway?! He could not help but to panic also. He was about to be killed by a deranged woman! How did she even manage to get in his room? The people in white told him that he was safe inside this building!

The doctors came in, the nurses followed after them. They took hold of the woman before him. A man who looked like an older version of Ludwig entered also. He was the one who finally forced the woman out of Gilbert's room. One doctor and nurse approached Gilbert. They coaxed him to calm down. To breathe evenly. That was the moment that Gilbert realized his rapid intake of air for his lungs. He was like a drowning man that moment.

It turned out that the woman was his Mother and the man who escorted her out was Gilbert's Father. It was briefly explained to Gilbert that something happened to his family and friends that was why his amnesia was such a huge impact for them, especially for Gilbert's parents.

For Gilbert, it was still not a justifiable reason to take hold of his shoulders, started shaking him, and screaming indiscernible words straight at his face.

Just like the first time, they did not tell him the cause. They didn't explained to him what was the 'thing' happened while he was asleep. No one even explained to him why he got admitted in a hospital in the first place.

He wanted someone to answer his questions for him. It did happen when one day his next visitor was a brunette man that carried an air of sophistication entered his room. And just like any visitor, the man took a sit beside Gilbert's bed.

"I'm Roderich Edelstein." That was how the man started their conversation, "They told me that you grew fond for the taste of this fruit." With that said, Roderich brought out the basket that Gilbert failed to notice from the start.

When Gilbert realized that it was a basket full of apples his eyes immediately lit up. This seemed to surprise Roderich for he simply said, "So, you do like the taste of apples." Gilbert just nodded his head enthusiastically at this statement. With amused eyes, Roderich started peeling an apple. But the way he held the knife was different from how Ludwig did it. This was something that Gilbert noticed.

"This is very weird for me, you know?" did Roderich want to hold a normal conversation with him? "Usually, whenever we are stuck together we always ending up in a fight with each other." Roderich stabbed the fork in one of the slices and handed the plate to Gilbert. "Now I know what they meant by the phrase 'be careful to what you wish for', if only we can turn back time." Roderich ended it with such a somber tone that Gilbert was used to hear.

At first, Gilbert didn't want to make any attempt to reply but the expectant stare given to him irked him so much that he blurted out the first thing that entered his mind.

"Gilbert Beilschmidt." From the way Roderich's face contorted with such confusion it was obvious that those were not the words he had expected to hear from the amnesiac patient. "My name is Gilbert Beilschmidt," he repeated again, "how are you related to me?" and Roderich realized that Gilbert was looking for answers. Roderich realized that the reason why Gilbert was not on speaking terms with anyone was because no one was answering his questions needed to be solved.

"I'm your cousin from your Father's side of the family." Gilbert nodded at this.

"Why am I here?"

"You fell off a cliff. You were really lucky that a few branches broke your fall that time by the way." Gilbert blinked a few times and tilted his head in confusion.

"Why did I fall off a cliff?"

Roderich hesitated a bit in answering but deep down he knew that Gilbert deserved to know the reason behind everything.

"You jumped." Two simple words. Two simple words but held such heavy meanings behind them.

That was the time that pieces of the puzzles started to appear. His name was Gilbert Beilschmidt. He had a younger brother named Ludwig Beilschmidt. He had a Mother and a Father. He had a cousin named Roderich Edelstein. At the age of 22, Gilbert apparently survived his suicide attempt. What a wonderful way to start his new life. That was sarcasm speaking in the air.