I had a really hard time explaining near the end. I couldn't find the right words, so please forgive me for how confusing it is. It's difficult to explain in easy terms why rape is so damaging to the human. It's not just a taking away of will, otherwise forcing anyone to do anything would be like rape. But...to give worth to the pain of rape would give worth to sex, and I understand that a lot of people now-a-days don't do that anymore. To do so would put consequences to using it incorrectly, and that's either a scary thought or a overly religious thought for many.
But...I did my best. That's all I really can do.
Once they knew where to look, the evidence started cropping up on its own. 'Devil's Breath' was found in Mrs. Kodachi's stack of 'confiscated drugs' that she hadn't passed over to the police's department. Thing is, even if they have found the drugs, if she hadn't been explicitly connected with our case, no one would have thought to take a closer look at the bags of cocaine, where the scopolamine was hidden. The two drugs, after all, did look remarkably similar. Then there were the testimonies from other students of having seen her in the building, along with an alibi that landed her in the building at the same time of the murders, as well as the motive of her daughter committing suicide because of a rape-induced-pregnancy, and you get a pretty tight corner. Said corner managed to squeeze out from the lanky woman of her connection with three other boys who had died in the last year and a half. The only reason Swii was still alive was because she had yet to identify which fool boy had thought to rape her daughter with scopolamine.
That being said, Swii didn't get away scott free either. Since confessing of using scopolamine (because he was coward before my psychic prowess), he had been kept in holding on a bail of $5,000 until his court hearing in a few weeks time.
I, however, did not get away with it.
Danni Kodachi, the girl who had been raped, thought Swii's punishment all too light. She was ready the moment I closed my eyes with her whole face agape to swallow me whole and nails slashing. If it hadn't been for the fact that I had been afraid of that very thing happening, I wouldn't have stayed up the whole night and ended up nodding off next to Naru's hospital bed, so the moment I started wailing he was there to shake me awake. With that, Lin took the name and date of death of Danni Kodachi (readily available by now), and exorcised me of her vengeful spirit.
Both men showed no compassion for the ghost as her spirit blurred across the flame of Lin's lone candle. I, on the other hand, couldn't help but weep. Naru attributed it to my lack of sleep and half coerced, half seduced me into nodding off on his hospital bed, not once suggesting I go sleep at home like he usually would since it technically wasn't appropriate in a hospital setting. I figured it was his worry wart way of keeping an eye on me while I slept to make sure no other vengeful spirits would be clawing at my subconscious.
Even though he acted with equal aloof gruffness as the nurse who ended up waking me, I could see through him. He liked me. Hee.
The good part of a week passed and he was finally released from the hospital. After I had verified that my male was in full working condition (he had tried very hard not to smile as I bent his arm experimentally, as though I could glean his condition on the bending-ability of his elbow), I demanded that he get me strawberry ice cream with chocolate shell. Before he could say something snappy like "I'm not your desert machine," or "I'm not just going to let you manipulate me into getting you whatever you want" (which was a lie), I informed him that I had charged him said ice cream when they had finally let me into his room back at the hospital.
"You were unconscious," I told him as he frowned. "So I'm reminding you now. But it's still in effect."
"I didn't choose to get possessed or have unreasonable amounts of PK," he said.
But he got me the ice cream anyways. What can I say? I'm just that cute. Also we had been heading out to get some 'well needed sunshine' as Naru put it anyways. I was getting use to these weird little sun treatments Naru kept putting me through after a particularly traumatizing case.
It was while we sat on a park bench, licking ice cream, that I thought to tell him of my other vision. One of those companionable silences had settled over us so I figured it safe to reveal.
"Pride and Prejudice?" he said, tongue darting out to catch some chocolate ice cream at the corner of his mouth. "Don't remember it. Must not have been a very memorable book. But then, Gene was always shoving books and whatnot onto me."
"I find that highly amusing," I said. "Is that where you get all your romance training? Fuzzy subconscious memories of Gene's programming?"
Naru snorted. A breeze blew over the tree we sat under, a large Japanese maple. It made me think of the tree I had seen Gene up. The well trimmed park grass shivered about my sandals. "Hardly. I don't do romance."
"You gave me a rose with my bagels. That's romance."
"It's not rocket science that girls like roses. They even put roses on the front of those, what did you call them? 'Grocery line bodice rippers'?"
"Way to go, you actually remembered that. I'm so proud of you."
"Don't patronize me."
"You sow some, you reap some, Oliver dear."
He shuddered. "And don't say that. You sound like my mother. Naru works."He took a lick of his ice cream.
I smirked as a sudden idea came to me. Maybe this would tickle his memory. "When can I call you Oliver then? Or Mr. Davis?"
He took another lick of his ice cream. "Mr. Davis if you want to be particularly smart ass. Oliver when you're in the throes of passion. I think that will do."
I blanched. So much for a Pride and Prejudice moment. "Since when can you say 'the throes of passion' without flaming like a fire engine?"
"Honestly, Mai. I'm an adult. I only blushed because you're childishness embarrassed me in front of my parents. You act incredibly inappropriate at times, anyone would blush."
"Sure." I caught up to the melted ice cream that had been neglected in my conversation, pouting. He couldn't have taken away my favorite pass time, could he? "So basically you want me to call you Oliver while your penis is in me."
A spray of chocolate ice cream and a sudden fit of coughing told me I had won. I had to fight down my laughter, otherwise the whole picture would be ruined and he'd probably stalk away from me in moody indignation. Really, no one had any idea how moody he could be when he wanted to be. He gave such a good blank front.
I gave him my most innocent, owlish look. "What? That's what you said."
"How can you…that is not what I…" He seemed to give up on words and settled for giving me the most flabbergasted look I had seen him give yet. The great Naru thought himself omniscient. He took care never to appear flabbergasted. "We're in public!"
"Oh please, no one is around." And it was true. It was in the middle of a weekday, so all the children were in school, and since it was around noon most were inside to escape the summer heat. Only an old woman walking with a friend could be seen, and she was on the clear other side of the park's pond. "And I even used the correct word for it too. I could have said 'dick'. Would you prefer dick?"
"Have you always been so crass?"
"Oh, no. If you recall I was always the one schooling you on common decorum. You're just hilarious."
"I am not!"
"Yes you are. If you want me to stop teasing you, say 'sex' ten times, very slowly."
Op. He was getting there. The stalking away phase. He had even thrown away his ice cream in the trash can next to us. What a waste. I, on the other hand, was almost done. It had been glorious.
But, rather than fleeing in much marching pose and decorum, he surprised me. "Do I have your word on that?"
I had to smile. Oh god, if he actually did do that, I'd die laughing. I couldn't even picture it in my head. "Yep. Cross my heart and hope to die."
"Alright, you remember that." Rather than launch off into the slow 'sex' mantra, however, he tugged out his handkerchief, wiped off his hands, and stood. "Ready to head back? We have a meeting at three with a client I'd rather not miss. Honestly, there's not much worse than being out for a week. I haven't even finished the report."
We walked back to the car. I stayed on my toes the whole way, waiting for the awaited entertainment of a fidgeting, blushing Naru—or, even better, a forcefully straight face Naru saying 'sex' ten times slow. It was going to be so funny! Honestly, did he have any idea how entertaining he was?
But the afternoon passed and he didn't say another word. The client came, explained how she thought herself personally haunted by her dead husband, and was referred to Lin after Naru had his fun taking tests of her person and the area around her ("See that blur there over the left ear? The air is even a bit cooler there. Remarkable, right? For some reason, a spouse haunting always picks that left ear in 8 times out of ten.")
When the day drew to a close, I had given up on my comedy show and figured he'd probably find some inane moment that would take all of the funny out of it just to scorn me and get me off his back.
"Would you like a ride home?" he asked.
"It's a ten minute walk."
"Which means a twenty minute walk for me."
"You don't have to come."
"Oh, but I do. Have ten words to say, don't I?"
I perked and the grin worked itself onto my face. "Drive me."
So he did. I thought he'd take me somewhere else, at first, but he didn't. He just took me to my apartment. He even got out and walked me up to my door, all the while me waiting in anticipated silence for my giggles. I knew something was up. This was Naru. Nothing couldn't be up. Then again, Naru wasn't exactly mischievous, was he? All mischievousness had been distilled into the other twin. Maybe it would fail…oh, let it fail spectacularly.
I stuffed my key into my lock.
"Well?" I asked.
"Just give me a moment."
My grin grew. Oh yeah, he was stealing himself. I wonder if he'd let me record it—of course not. Then it would never happen. Not to mention it might become into some sort of porn video to those women who hadn't been desensitized to his beauty first…
I had opened my door and stepped inside my house when that thought came to me. Something tickled up the back of my neck. He wouldn't.
His warm hand nudged me inside. I heard the door close behind me, and the next thing I knew he had spun me around to face him, and he was smirking.
He wouldn't. That would be just…he wouldn't.
He took my hand and pulled me between him and the door.
He hadn't even pressed me against the door. All he was doing was holding my hand to it and leaning over me with that smirk. But it still felt like he had.
He was leaning in closer so his breath wafted across my face. Tea. Tea and something indefinably Naru.
His voice had dropped to a low husk I didn't know it could do. A small 'eep' almost crawled out of my throat. No one had used that sort of—I mean I had read about it—I wasn't some weird sicko who listened to that sort of stuff and—
He was getting closer. I couldn't look away from him now, and the amber sunset backlighted him. He and I were alone in my apartment. I remembered all the times he had wrapped me up in his arms—practically swallowing me in them and a familiar heat hit me like a bowling ball to the stomach. My knees went weak. I felt sweaty.
"If you stop me, you got to swear to not tease me with sex again, and yes that one counts too."
"Wait, that's not—"
This time he had said it against my ear. His lips reminded me—oh gosh, I don't have to tell you want it reminded me of. Where the hell did he learn to—wait, was he just doing this naturally? Did people just do this naturally or did you have to read about it—
Oh crud, I should have said five times. If I start kissing him now there's no way I could justify pushing him to the ground and straddling him. Or was there? No, this was just all me. All he was doing was holding my hand and doing that stupid, sweat-inducing voice and making me all…heavy…
I knew he was playing with me when he finally brought his other hand forward and rubbed a thumb beneath my shirt, hitting a spot on my hip he had only discovered recently.
I struck out for his mouth, but he dodged me.
"What?" I mumbled. Why'd he have to be so gorgeous? Why was I getting all these stupid images in my head of him over me murmuring in that voice and rubbing me all over?
"You won't tease me ever again about sex."
I moaned. "Unfair! That could include anything—"
"You know what I mean. Swear it."
"Naru, this is low. I thought you said not to tempt you—"
"Tempt me?" Aw crap, there was the smirk. The smirk, the one that always came up when he knew he had the better of me—or anyone, for that matter. It was one of his common ones, and the one that annoyed me most. "You've done nothing but stand there, and I've hardly touched me. By the way: sex. And I believe that makes ten."
I managed to catch his lips, but only just as he dodged me. "Now you know how it feels, Mai. So swear it."
"Aw, frick…" There went the guilt nerves too. Double punch while I was down? Jerk. "Fine. I swear I won't ever tease you about sex again." Ugh, how was I going to get rid of this freaking…want now? Had he even been trying all those make out sessions ago? Lordie, had he really only touched my hand?
I stomped away from him moodily. Good job, Naru. You had successfully reprimanded me. Now I really would keep my word, and not just in one regard. If this was even part of what I inadvertently made Naru feel on occasion with my own kisses…aw, suck. Jerk.
But Naru didn't leave. He took a place against my counter and folded his arms as I curled up on my couch and got ready to bleach my brain with Columbo episodes on my laptop.
"Sex isn't unlike drugs," he said softly. "It's addicting. It's tantalizing. It's one of humanity's basest needs, and most often abused."
"Why are you telling me this?" I said, not even bothering to hide how grumpy I was now.
"Because, once more, you've come off a case hiding the damage."
I froze. Oh. So that's why he had watched me sleep…and my dreams hadn't always been visions. Nightmares came.
I kept my gaze on the screen as I shrugged. "It didn't happen to me. It was just a vision. Besides, it's just sex. People have sex with strangers every day."
"Then why were you sick?"
My screen blurred. She had asked the same thing. I saw Mrs. Kodachi over the sink, vomiting, sick and thin. Was it just because her daughter had killed herself? Or was it the pregnancy? I wasn't pregnant. But, then, they all knew that. The ghost girl, Danni, had known it as well, and screamed it at me still somewhere at the bottom of my soul
I thought you'd understand.
Naru was besides me, now, using my coffee table as a chair. "Before you can heal, you need to understand that you are wounded. Ignoring it will just allow it to fester."
My hands were trembling. I didn't like where this was going. "But it didn't happen to me, it was just a vision—and that my stupid period—this is stupid." And it was. Even if it hadn't been a vision, the drug would have scared the crap out of me more than anything. It was just a penis. It was just an act. What was virginity anyways? A way to make sure the baby was someone's? People had sex all the time without love or tenderness or any of that.
Wait…had I always thought like this? Why was I thinking like this?
"Why were you sick?" he asked quietly.
I couldn't hold my laptop anymore. I put my shaking hands to my face to both steal them and hide the tears I didn't understand. "I don't know. I was just violated—but it didn't really happen. No one violated me."
Naru didn't respond. I dared to peek out above my hands, half wondering if he was some sicko who wanted me to be hurt, so he was programming all this crap into my head when I had been fine and dandy before.
But no. There it was. That look I saw in my vision that he had given my sleeping form while in the hospital. His features had been considerably softened, and something not quite a smile parted his lips ever so slightly. But it was his eyes that caught me up, burning and…
How could I have thought that of someone who loved me so much?
"I love you," he said softly. "Nothing will ever make me not love you. I'm just worried that on our wedding night you'll just see me as Swii and be afraid. I don't want you to feel frightened or insecure when you are at your most vulnerable, because that's what it is. It's baring your soul, showing everything you always keep under clothes, that you never bare to society. Everything goes out the window. I…" And something stabbed at him. That potential vulnerability I had so feared was activated, and my hands flashed out of their own will to touch him. He kept going though. "Listen to me preach to satisfy my own fear. Mai, I will never…you are so precious to me, I don't…"
Before my eyes he was crumpling, and I understood. He had brought up this topic because he was worried about me. Everything from the park, the ice cream, to this point. He had tried to set it up to make his point, to try and draw out where I was hurt so he could fix it, because he felt like he had failed in preventing me from getting hurt at all. I had never stopped to think what it must have done to him to sit in my tiny bathroom and listen to me vomit and sob and moan.
Realizing that unlocked the floodgates. The memory flowed through me and I found myself pooling into his lap.
And I let my mouth loose. I realized I didn't even understand myself why it had felt so awful, or why it had made me felt more violated than any simply physical attack should have. I had been hurt by someone physically before. And Naru had been right, I had been about to shove it down just because it had just been a vision, but the feelings were still there. I really had started to wonder if that was to be expected from Naru. And, deep down, I had somehow found myself wondering what it all must be worth—what I must be worth—for something so little to damage me so.
Filthy. Violated. And a conflicting need to brush it aside as nothing while at the same time screaming at how paper-like and unimportant I had found myself. It had been so easy for Swii. It had been nothing to him. I had been nothing to him.
But I was definitely not nothing to Naru. I was his world.
And I came to the conclusion, as he held me tight, that it was okay. Because he was my world too.
While you guys are waiting for the next book in the series, please check out my beyblade fanfiction: "Before Beasts, There was Sound." I already have two other books written for that series (also a short 20,000 word series like this one), but since the beyblade fandom is like...dead, I don't have enough readers to justify continuing it, because my writing time is precious. But I really really like it... Just, if you're up for a read...or if you want to drop by a review on word choice or...yeah.