I'll be waiting for that moment. That moment when you'll truly be mine.
He leaned his back against the metal door, holding back the dam that threatened to burst against his chest and send a flow tears down his face. It was over. It was all over.
Damn it. He felt himself turning bitter, and he longed to reach out and hit something. But he wasn't mad. He felt like he was suffocating inside, and he couldn't breathe, but his lungs were clear.
He remembered Riki turning around to look at him as he slid down to the ground, nothing left of his legs. Those were the first tears he had ever seen on Riki through out his life. The first drops of pure crystal he had ever seen. The boy never cried. Not even when he was forced to go through his training. Never cried. Not once.
And why would he cry for me?
He wanted to scream, wanted to hurt something – anything. But he couldn't. All he could do was just sit there, on that pile of deteriorating inferno and absorbed the shock of loss.
A shadow passed from the doorway.
He looked up, just briefly – a reflex. But what he saw made his heart tear in two pieces, and he could almost hear the rip – starting from his very soul and all the way to his love for Riki.
"Riki!" He gasped.
That was all he could say from his mouth. But inside his brain, questions throbbed. Why, Riki? Why did you come back? Go! Save yourself…you've got a life ahead of you. You still have your friends…go out. You're only 20. You still have a life…
But he couldn't do anything. He stayed still and watched the small form walk up to him.
Riki…his mind blared. Riki…I'm letting you go…I let you go eternally. You're free. Why did you come back? Go!
Everything around him, his past, came crashing around him, as he looked up at the brown eyes, so calm. So reassuring. Nothing mattered now. Only this.
Only him coming back.
"I thought you might want someone to talk to," he sat down next to him, leaning against him. "But if you tell me I'm a nuisance, then I'll shut up and curl by your feet."
He nearly smiled. He shut his eyes and felt his tense body relax next to Riki's. This was it. He wasn't afraid of anything now. Riki was here.
Riki was with him.
He heard a small sound in midst of the fire, and it sounded like someone opening a cardboard box. He looked down and saw Riki, a black cigarette held lightly between his lips. Black moon. Iason could recognize it anywhere.
"Want one?" Riki asked, lighting his end on part of the fire.
"Sure. It would be nice to have a last smoke with you," he said, taking the deadly poison and placing it between his lips. Riki tilted his head up and lit Iason's end with his own.
"This is our last deep kiss."
He inhaled the fumes and let it drop from his lips. Riki looked up at him, and for the first time, Iason saw a hint of fear in his eyes.
No need for words.
He slid his arm around Riki's shoulders and pulled him close, the boy resting his head on his shoulder.
I'm here, Riki. I'm with you. Forever.
He looked into the brown eyes, and he felt nothing but peace. And love.
I love you.
Riki shut his eyes, looking as if he had elapsed into a sleep.
You'll be the last thing I'll see.
Painful numbness crept across his body as he pulled the body closer.
"Riki," he said, without knowing whether the body he held still had life or not. "I love…"
For a moment – he didn't know whether he imagined it or not, but he felt Riki's hand touch his. A touch that reassured him that it was going to be all right, a touch that returned his feelings.
He allowed a tear to break free, as a memoir, but only one tear. He shut his own eyes, and pulled Riki closer.
You came back.