This may seem a bit out of date considering how long it's been since a Coon and Friends episode was newly aired. Although, the new release of The Fractured But Whole might assist my case. I published this awhile ago on another website but didn't receive much excitement. Hopefully, now that South Park has just started airing season twenty, people might take an interest in this revived fanfiction. It's an AU, but not really. The characters are much older and the humor isn't as outrageous as the television show.

Nonetheless, it is aSouth Park fanfiction and will contain swearing as well as certain sexual conflicts (somewhere in the future). I'll try keeping the characters away from the dreaded OOC charges but, one more time, it's a different time and different storyline. The characters have yet to meet.

Rated T, please enjoy!




A pair of dark blue eyes watched as the minutes slowly dragged by, the clock seemed to mock them knowingly. It might've upsetted Leopold, had he not been so used to the abuse. Everything around him wanted his demise, his failure. Even his own parents had a terrible need for him to kneel to their order. But that wasn't entirely his fault. His parents simply couldn't handle their own pathetic virtue, so they focused on his instead.

Parents were meant to love their child. Leopold scoffed at such a thought. No, daughters and sons were born for the sake of reproduction. Parents didn't ever like it though. Spawns were created to ease the pain of adults. They were getting older, why not take it out on the youth?

While Leopold decided he held no fault over his parents' deliberate hatred of him, he supposed he did when it came to the rest of the world and their issues over him. Leopold was smart, but highly nervous of other humans. And because he mistakenly made this obvious, he was torn down every waking second of his life.

Even now, he was forced not to look back over his shoulder at Craig Tucker and his pack of praising pets as they struck the back of his head with balled up wads of paper. What use would it be? It wasn't as though the blonde could ever muster up a look of scorn. Not without a good ass kicking come the end of class. He honestly could do without the bruises. Somehow, his parents would manage to use them as leverage for further punishment.

Leopold breathed, pushing slim fingers through his short, fair hair. The mind of a young adolescent was not meant to be so dark and despondent. And yet he imagined what a sight it might be to watch Craig's blood slipping like spilled wine from his throat. He pressed his pencil so hard against his blank paper, the tip broke in a small but deafening crack. It was enough to vanquish such treacherous ideas but apparently, was also loud enough to draw the teacher from her lessons.

"Mister Starch," she summoned him from his darkness, and his dark blue eyes reflected in disbelief as he slowly met her irritated gaze. "If you're so bent on causing a ruckus in my class, then I suggest you step outside and join all the other hooligans in the gymnasium."

Leopold couldn't believe this. She'd been completely oblivious to the troublemakers in the back of the room, snickering and tossing about their work. Yet, a single pencil being broken out of frustration... This, she managed to catch. Sitting up, he fought away the voice that demanded she fuck off, nervously scanning the ground just below her feet. "I-I'd rather not," he mumbled as he swallowed his rising bile. "I'm sorry, I- uh, it won't happen again."

The teacher hardly appeared satisfied. However, she didn't press the issue further. How could she? It was only a pencil, after all. Instead, she silently lifted her arm and pointed towards the sharpener against a nearby wall. Leopold stood, knowing better than to comment that he had another pencil. He didn't want this moment to last longer than necessary. The snickers of his peers followed him the entire way to the sharpener. The sound of it grinding away the tip of his utensil was louder than he liked, much louder than it seemed to be with the people around him. Quietly, he promised revenge.

It was empty. But then, so was everything about Leopold.


There was always something in life that made even the most saddest of people brighter. Whether it be sex, drugs, literature, music, art, it didn't matter. For Leopold, it was a girl. The most beautiful he'd ever seen, too. She had long red hair that spiked just above her overly developed breasts, her eyes the brightest set of green that could mesmerize anyone within a five mile radius. If she were to step out into a highway full of oncoming traffic, even the most busiest of truckers would halt just for the opportunity to stare at her.

Lexus Evermore.

She was the only one who had managed to grab the attention of Leopold. It was by chance that the blonde had curiously ventured past the double doors of their well known Hooters, Lexus had been his waitress then and was the only girl in the entire universe to show even an ounce of interest in him. Ever since then, Leopold had spent any earnings handed to him on her attention. Even now, he stared longingly at her figure as she flirted with another group of men seated in her section of the restaurant. He wanted nothing more than to pull her close, tell her that she was far too good for a shallow establishment such as this. He could see her beauty shine through her many layers of purple eyeshadow, the tough spirit she drove to burn within her eyes. And, Leopold thought, you certainly didn't have any choice but to be stronger if you worked in a place that made you stick out your chest and bat a pair of long, black lashes. It made her only that much more admirable.

Leopold sat alone at a table, a dizzy smile gracing his features as he watched the way she moved across the restaurant, delivering orders and making the opposite sex swoon over her perfection. What a prize she would be, Leopold believed. If she were his, he'd never need anything else. Not respect, recognition, nothing. Lexus, he knew, was his everything.

Finally, it was his turn. She came striding over to him with her sparkling eyes and ditzy optimism. Her notepad waited eagerly in one hand and she drew away a pen from behind her ear. "Hi Butters!" She greeted cheerfully. Despite himself, Leopold flushed at the nickname given to him. "I'm really happy you decided to show up. You have no idea how glad I am to see you, all of these men seem to forget that I'm human."

Leopold flicked his gaze towards the group of males she might've been referring to. They sat close together, laughing heartily and clinking together their oversized mugs of alcohol. It made the boy frown as he watched this, Lexus was far too good for their treatment over her. "You know," he answered, watching as she pulled up a stool right before him. "You could always just quit. I-I'm sure you're, uh, really talented in lots of d-different areas. You deserve b-better than this."

Lexus huffed out a breath of amusement, lowering her eyes and grinning only a bit. "You're sweet, Butters." She replied softly. She reached out to lightly touch his knee, and they both froze. In that instant, a content silence overtook them. Leopold stared into her eyes, and he briefly wondered what might've happened, had he the courage to kiss her. She tilted her head, tongue running lightly over the bottom of her glossed lips, and then she pulled away. The moment was over, just like that. Suddenly, the air wasn't so thick.

"You know what," she said before rising from the stool. "I'm gonna bring you what you always order. On me." With a suggestive wink in his direction, Lexus turned and proceeded off towards the order window, writing away at her pad of paper. Leopold watched her the whole way, heart pounding like a mallet in his chest. Perhaps, his feelings were being returned to him. And perhaps, the world wasn't completely against him.

The bell jingled as the doors were suddenly opened and a whoosh of cold air came in to briefly fight off the indoor heating. Leopold remained unaware as Craig entered with his posse, each one of them shaking and brushing away the snow. A perky blonde came to greet them and show them towards a table. However, Craig had different plans once his light brown eyes traveled towards the lovesick boy still drooling over the favored waitress.

Craig smirked, walking past the girl and waving for his friends to follow his lead. He plopped himself right beside Leopold, throwing an arm around his shoulders and flinching him from his reverie. "Well," chuckled the darker haired male. "Look who came to the party. And it looks to me like a certain someone has caught your eye."

Leopold didn't answer, instead hunching into himself and looking away towards the ground. Showing submission normally made Craig leave. But apparently, tonight, he had different intentions. "Hey," he growled. His mitted hands gripped the side of Leopold's head and he forced his eyes back up towards the girl he had been gawking at. "There's nothing to be ashamed of. Lexus is hot as fuck isn't she?"

Again, Leopold didn't offer an answer. He gazed away from the redhead, pulling his head out of Craig's grip as he found himself highly upset and shameful. It was terrible that Craig had the power to do that. He made Leopold feel bad, and yet he didn't even have to really do anything deserving of this. The boys surrounding him laughed, Craig slapped his back a bit harder than what might've been perceived as friendly. "I'm just messing with you," he chuckled, gripping his victim's shoulder tightly. "But you need to realize that she isn't yours to stare at anymore. Understand?"

No, he didn't. But something told Leopold that he really didn't want to either. So, rather than respond, he still behaved as though words evaded him. Craig raised a slick black brow at this, still not about to walk away and let him alone. "Here," he said lowly, standing from the boy's side. "I'll give a demonstration."

He knew it would've been stupid to watch. But there his eyes went, following after the Tucker as he approached Lexus, who was chatting openly with a coworker. His fingers curled around the back of her neck and he bent her backwards. She only managed to murmur out a surprised "Craig-" before his lips came crashing against her own.

It wasn't too shocking to see Craig perform such an act on an unsuspecting female. What was surprising, however, was the way her arms wrapped around his neck, the way her leg bent up, and the way she moved her mouth in return to his. Now Leopold fully understood. She wasn't his to stare at anymore. She wasn't his at all.

Leopold could no longer stay put. How could it be suspected of one to watch all of his happiness show favor over all that meant him harm? He stood abruptly, ignoring the sharp words flung at him by the remainder of the group he despised with a flaring passion. His body burst clumsily out the doors, straight into the freezing atmosphere of the night.

The gentle fall of snow had turned into a harsh rage of hail, but Leopold hardly felt it past the painful knock against his skull. He'd ran for what seemed like forever, his skin became paler than what was considered normal and his lips turned a very dark shade of blue. His foot slipped on a patch of ice on the road and he landed with a hard thud onto the road. The only thing that made him happy. The one source of peace in his life, snatched up by the greedy hands of the cruel. His eyes lifted up towards the sky as the storm raged on, a cry ripping from his throat.


In answering came the roar of thunder. And then, from between the dark clouds, a white spear of lightning protruded down and struck the boy so suddenly. A scream of pain penetrated through the night. Then, all that could be heard was the heavy downpour of hail.