Garfield vs Kirito – The Revedge
In land of animes and sushi, Japanland, there was trouble brewing. From extradimensional portal, evil enemies from another dimension arrived to invade. However, Japan was uses to this because Godzilla come attack every Sunday. In secret lab, misguised scientist ran around to unveil new invention.
"Sir, are you sure it is time to show off newest creation?" asked sniveling nerd with unsuredness. "What are you, baka?" said senior scientist with misguised delusion. "Using spirit of Kirito which we stole from castle of Volk devilgod, and putting into strong robot body 1000x stronger than what Kirito body had, we will make ultimate Japanese fighting machine, stronger than American Garfield. Hahahahaha" scientist laughed with maniacal insanity.
Garfield was watching television on hot babe eating lasagna when news report came on. It was of Japanese unveiling new weapon to fight off sudden extradimensional menace. Garfield yawns. "I beat menace like that to brush dust off fist" Garfield said with bored. Suddenly, on television appeared new weapon, and Garfield looked with shocks. It was robot Kirito. "What are fools doing with that? Kirito was weakling, not worthy of being made into robot." However, unthinkable things happened. Kirito walked to menace leader, and the two began to merge, causing immense blast of energies, destroying camera of news before anything more can be seen. News flipped back to channel, but this time with Prime Minister Hideo Kojima and Chief Maruyama on the screen. "Garfield please come save us we need your muscles and american spirit to defeatn ew menaces." Said men with begging.
"What is this tragedies, I must go investigate." Said Garfield with hurriedness. "Quick Garfield, take teleport device we borrow from Nazarick Tomb" said Jon Arbuckle as he threw device to Garfield with quick.
"Many thanks Arbunckle man" said Garfield with thanks.
"Lasagna come inside me to fuel me for manly mission" said Garfield as lasagna flew from all around into Garfield to energize him. Garfield called upon energy and used device to teleport to Japan.
Around Garfield was devastation and many death, and immediately he was ambush by evil wifes of Kirito. "We are here to destroy you for husband Kirito!" said Asuna. "Soon you will have no husband but do not worry I will wed you with death" quipped Garfield as he pulled out dual desert eagle and began to fill wives of Kirito with lead. "Garfield we see now you are true man, please spare us" said Suguha who was one of last surviving wives. "I will spare you if you can survive being killed" remarked Garfield as he set wenches on fire with his righteous aura. "You should not play games too much, it burns you out" joked Garfield.
Suddenly Garfield saw explosion in distance, and using manly strength, made it to place in one jump. Japanese soldier were shooting at strange slender man with vague resemblance, but bullet were ineffective. Suddenly, man began to blur and in second, all Japanese solider were decapitate. "Ohohoho, you cannot defeat power of Re:Kirito" said resurrected Kirito.
"KIRITO!" said Garfield with rage as he sped like bullet to attack Kirito. However, Garfield was forced to stop when Kirito held out hostage like shield. It was trio of Darkness, Aqua and Megumine, being held helpless by Kirito darkness arms. "Fool Garfield, I know you are man of honor who would never hurt fair women and so I have kidnapped girls to make you vulnerable. Now stop attack so I may kill you easy without problem." Said Kirito as he began to walk towards Garfield.
"You are right Kirito, I cannot harm fair lady but I do kill wench, like your wifes" said Garfield with taunting.
"WHAT?!" said Kirito with rage, who threw girls to side as he charged Garfield with full force like thousands of hurricane.
"Not so fast, we will fight solo." Said Garfield as he grabbed Kirito and launched both of them into space with speed faster than sound. Now in space, Kirito and Garfield began to launch million blows per second at each other, but it looked like Kirito was beginning to win. "How is this possible, this power should not be coming just from alien invader" remarked Garfield with cruel calm.
"You did not realize something, Garfield. Alien invader from other world was actually Nega John Arbucle who recognized me as true ruler of darkness. Now feel despair of thousand years" said Kirito as he gave blow to Garfield to launch him through moon.
All hope seemed to be lost when familiar cry was heard.
John Arbuckle suddenly appeared riding spaceship filled with lasagna. Lasagna began to flow out of ship and into Garfield, powering him up thousand of time.
"You are true friend, Johm Arbuckle, now I shall negate Kirito from universe" said Garfield as he grabbed Kirito and hurled him straight through mars, and followed him to Mars. The two began to have faster than light battling with fists of furies when Garfield delivered blow with universal force that tore through chest of enemy. "No, this cannot be, I have… the ultimate power!" screamed Kirito as he began to explode with negative energy. "You die like you lived, alone and unloved" quipped Garfield. As Garfield went to return to Earth, he felt familiar presence, yet it was corrupted. He turned around as he saw essence of Nega John Arbuckle made physical, with inferior Kirito now erased it took true form. It began to grow to solar system size as corrupted American spirit and anger fueled it infinitely.
"…Nega John Arbuckle, I will free you from suffering…" said Garfield with pity as he called upon all lasagna and freedom energy and summoned Garfield Lasagnann, matching Nega Arbuckle in size.
Nega Arbuckle began to absorb blackhole and all darkness in world as it called upon ultimate attack. With distorted voice, it proclaimed like thousand angry sweatbands "NEGA… GIGA… AMAKO… BREAKER!" as gigantic drill of fury and negative energy began to fly towards Garfield. In face of incredible odd, Garfield remembered faces of girls he still had to save and called upon inner power of Garfield, and began to channel the light of sun. "WITH SPIRIT OF AMERICAN HEROES AT MY BACK AND BEAUTIFUL GIRL AT MY FRONT, I GARFIELD WILL DESTROY YOU WITH BURNING ENERGY AND TRUTH! FINISHING MOVE! GIGA… LASAGNA… BREAKER!" shouted Garfield as drill of justice and everything that is right in world appeared, drilling straight through evil drill and through Nega Arbuckle. Beam of light began to protrude from Negarbuckle as he began to be consumed by blinding light of justice. As Nega Arbuckle began to fade away, he and Garfield shared spiritual moment. "Why did you do it, Other John Arbuckle. Why do you betray American spirit and freedom?" asked Garfield with questionings. "It is because other Garfield had become corrupted with falseness and unlocked power of Negamerican Spirit and only way to stop him was to give in to evil and fight with equal power. But even then I could not stop him and only locked him away for short time, and I also became blind with evils." Said Other John Arbuckle with regrets. "I see. Rest in peace, John Arbuckle, you were misguided but in end you were also hero of justice." Said Garfield with sorrows as single manly tear fell down cheek and Other Arbuckle faded away for good. Garfield would never forget brave hero of other world as he flew back to Earth to trio of girls. "Garfield, you have saved us! I think you are deserving of prize but can you share with me" said Aqua with greeds. "I think explosion is very powerful but you are master of explosion" said Megumin with envies. "Garfield please treat me like you did loser Kirito, you are dream come true" said Darkness with lusts. "Now now ladies, today I will be prize and I will show you what real explosion is, but be ready because I will not be treating you easy" said Garfield with cool. Together they board Reinhardcopter piloted by John Arbuckle and returned to Americas for great love and romance. American dream was saved and freedom was returned to peoples of eearth once again.