"So let me get this straight. You're a Hermat, Kebron is a Brikar, the captain is a Xenexian, and the doctor is a Vulcan?" Rachel said, walking down the hallway with Burgoyne.
"That's right." Said Burgoyne, looking at her. "You're coping very well for someone who's been transported over three hundred fifty years in the future."
"Eh. I still think I'm unconscious in my bathroom." She said, shrugging. "Or it could be a nice hallucination. I'm probably wandering around downtown in my pretty Hawaiian shirt, talking to thin air." She said, nodding. They entered a turbolift and started going up. This wasn't a problem, until the cylinder suddenly went sideways. She looked at the walls askance. "Trippy."
Burgoyne laughed. "You're unusual."
"Thank you." She said. "I try." They came to a stop outside the main bridge. "Ok, so where are we now? And might I add, the fact that an elevator goes sideways and diagonal is just too strange, even for me."
"Well, it would be, for an elevator. But this is a turbolift. Completely different." Said Burgoyne.
"Don't mess with my mind like that. You get in 'em, you move from one part of the building to another, it's an elevator." She said, sticking her nose in the air.
"But this isn't a building. It's a star ship. So we don't have elevators." Said Burgoyne, grinning mischievously.
".shut up." She said, frowning, as the door swept open. S/he led her out, laughing merrily.
"Burgy, you're not tormenting people again, are you?" A young man asked, grinning up at them from a station near
"He knows you well." Said the girl with him, dryly. "Yes, he was messing with my mind."
"Yeah, s/he does that." Said the man, nodding. "But.did you call Burgy a he?"
"Yeah. Is that wrong?" she turned to Burgoyne, who leaned against the wall, waiting for the inevitable revelation. "Are you a girl? I'm sorry, I couldn't tell." She made a face. "Um, was that an insult too? Dammit, I need a guide book for this place."
The man laughed again. "It's not an insult. Just inaccurate. S/he's not a man or a woman. S/he's both."
The girl looked at Burgoyne, who fluttered hir eyelashes at her and smirked. "Trippy." The bridge broke up in laughter.
"I'm glad everyone is having such a good time. Care to let me join in?" Asked a male voice.
"Not at all, captain." Said Burgoyne. "We're just teasing the little trespasser, care to help out?"
"You're the captain?" The girl asked.
"Yes, I am." Said Calhoun.
"And you hired all of these people to be on your ship?"
"I suppose you could call it that."
"What were you thinking?"
He grinned. "Damned if I know. But I didn't sign Burgoyne on, s/he came with the ship."
She looked disgusted. "I would have asked for a trade in." she said pointing at the Hermat. "I think this one's faulty."
"Hey!" Burgoyne said, grinning.
"And on that note, would you step into my ready room? I'd like to talk to you about how you got here."
"At this point you know as much as I do." Said the girl, shrugging. "But I'd be glad to tell you anything that may be helpful." They disappeared into the ready room.
* * *
"Now, where are you from?" Asked Calhoun, sitting behind his desk and fiddling with a dagger.
"I'm from Chicago." She paused. "Does that still exist anymore?"

"Oh yes, it's still there." Said Calhoun, smiling. "What did you do?"
"I was a full time student, and I worked at a shipping firm."
"Do you know how you got here?"
"Not a clue. Last thing I remember is brushing my teeth in the bathroom, then I'm showing about fifty people my favorite nightgown."
"So you didn't have any indication you were going to be here?"
"Ummmm, no. First thing I saw when I stepped out of my bathroom was a guy with blue skin and feelers. Kinda shocking, ya know." She looked at him sideways. "Now can I ask a question?"
"Feel free." Said Calhoun.
"What am I going to do?"
"I wish we could tell you. I've sent a communiqué to Starfleet, and we should be getting a reply any time. Until then, you're our guest."
"Goody." She said, deadpan. "Ya know, I was supposed to be at work over an hour ago. I hope they were able to find someone to come in for me."
"Somehow, I don't think you have to worry much about that anymore." Said Calhoun.
"Me either." She said, sighing. "So, what happens now?"
"Now, I have someone take you to your quarters. I've assigned you a room near the officers quarters, if that's all right?"
"At this point, I don't care if I'm in the boiler room." She said, grinning.
"We don't have a boiler room."
"I have GOT to get some new material for this time period."
* * *
They stepped out of the ready room.and almost ran into Kebron. "It's mount Rushmore again." She said, looking up.
He looked down. "Shall I escort her back to the brig, captain?" He rumbled.
"No, Kebron. I doubt she's any danger to the ship or the crew. Unless she decides to bite your ankles."
"Oh no. No height cracks. I get enough of those from my co-workers." She said, shaking a finger at the room in general.
"I apologize. No more height cracks. I'll just talk about your poor clothing choices." He looked over her head and ignored her sputtering. "Mark, would you mind taking miss.you know, we never got your full name."
"Oh, sorry. Rachel Bartholomew, at your service." She said, pretending to curtsy.

"Very nice to meet you." Said Calhoun. "Now get off my bridge, we have work to do."