Okay, this is my take on the politics of some of our favorite TBBT people. Also, a way to get Sheldon and Penny together. You don't like Shenny, don't read. If you are a gun control freak don't read. You have been warned.
It was that time of year, and no matter where they went, you couldn't escape them.
"Who are you going to vote for sir?"
Sheldon, Amy, Leonard and Penny were walking down the street towards the comic book shop when they were approached by two young men with clipboards and campaign buttons.
Leonard and Amy just walked by without even stopping. Sheldon slowed down and took the offered button while Penny said, "Already got one."
As Leonard held the door open he said, "Good one Penny." She stopped and looked at him, "What do you mean?" Sheldon had joined them as he put the button on the inside flap of his messenger bag.
Leonard nodded at the two politicos, "Not even you are dumb enough to fall for voting for Trump."
Penny stood with hand on her hips, "Excuse me?"
Sheldon looked down on the diminutive scientist, "I'll have you know Leonard that I will be voting for Trump."
"You?!" Leonard exclaimed. Amy came up to see where everyone was.
Sheldon didn't flinch under the stare, "Yes Leonard; coming from Texas we have seen the problem of illegal immigration. Legal immigration is fine. But people coming in and not doing it properly-they are breaking the law. Also, the Liberal Democrats want to take away our 2nd amendment rights."
"Sheldon, quit talking silly. The 2nd amendment is an outdated idea. We no longer need it as we are better than the 'old west,'" replied Amy.
Penny's brows came together, "I didn't figure you, who is supposedly smart, can't see that we need guns to protect us."
"Please Penny; maybe on the great plains of Nebraska where you run the risk of wild animals. But civilized people..." Amy started.
"Need protecting when law enforcement are minutes away and you only have seconds to live or die." Sheldon interrupted. "I'll have you know that I have my concealed weapons permit. But the intellectual small minds of the university forbid us from protecting ourselves on campus."
Leonard paled a bit, "Excuse me?"
Sheldon's look at Leonard was one of mild disgust "Yes, Leonard. I usually carry a weapon."
"If this is your idea of a 'Bazinga' Sheldon, it's not funny. Come on, let's get your comic book and leave." Amy declared.
"Graphic novels," Penny said. "I too have my CCW, but my dad wouldn't let me take my pistol from home. So all I have is my mace on my key chain. Of course I can't seem to save enough to get what I really want."
"What's that Penny?"
"Well, if I'm carrying, a 4-inch Smith, .44…."
Leonard and Amy just looked at each other and then back at their paramours. "You guys are kidding right? Sheldon, you don't like conflict. I can see Penny coming from a rural background…"
Sheldon raised his hand to stop Penny's rebuttal as he turned to fully face Leonard and Amy, "Leonard, while we may not win as often as I'd like in paintball, have you ever noticed that I don't miss what I aim at? I have plenty of practice. My father, being a veteran of the armed forces and a Texan, it was a non-optional rule that we all knew how to shoot. My brother George is still in the Army after 15 years' active duty. Haven't you found it strange that you haven't ever met him? He's usually deployed because of his specialty."
"And my brother is in the Marines. After his last time in court, the judge told him it was either jail or the Marines. He chose the Marines. And he's has kept himself clean and is doing well. He just rotated back after his second tour over in Afghanistan."
"I didn't know he was back," Sheldon said. "I hope everyone in his squad also made it back in one piece. Please convey my best to him the next you write him. And express my thanks for the bottle of sand. I will add it to my collection."
Leonard looked confused, "You knew her brother was a Marine? And sand? What..?"
"Bestie, you never told me your brother was in the Marines."
Both Sheldon and Penny looked at them, "Yeah, I figured after getting to know you two that your political beliefs would be different from mine; what with Leonard coming from New England and having met his mother-Liberal Democrats." Penny spit those words like she was tasting something sour. "You may be science smart, but you swallow everything they feed you. I…"
"Penny," Sheldon said as he laid a hand on her arm to calm her down. It was a tie who was more shocked; Leonard or Amy. Sheldon was voluntarily touching someone. Amy found her voice first, "Sheldon what…?"
"Amy, I should have figured that you were a Liberal Democrat after continuing to take your 'fiancé' money after the United States has been attacked again and again from varying groups from the Middle East. I have reached my limits. You think its ok to take his money, I on the other hand do not. I am a loyal son of Texas and a proud American. After what has been going on in the world, I am not so sure he's not connected after hearing you talk about him; especially where he is located and what he has asked you to do sometimes."
"Ok, this isn't funny guys," Leonard said trying to control the conversation for his benefit, "Let's just get what we came here for and then we can relax with a few drinks and calm…"
"Yeah, that's not gonna happen." Penny said unmoving. She looked down at Leonard and it seemed she had reached a conclusion, "Leonard, this may not be the ideal place but it is most definitely the right time; 'this'" and she motioned between her and him, 'isn't working."
She was shaking her head, "You've just reminded me of the things that I don't like about you, outweigh the things that I do. We come from different places. And the alcohol has helped keep me unfocused."
"You're breaking up with me? But we belong together!"
"No we don't. In YOUR mind you think so, but haven't you noticed how unhappy I have been? And it's both of yours fault."
"Me? How do you figure that bestie?"
Penny sighed, "Ames, I know you didn't have any friends growing up, but you just don't proclaim someone's your best friend after just meeting them. It takes time. It took years for Sheldon and I to be best friends." She said as she smiled at Sheldon.
Leonard's face fell as did Amy's. "What's Sheldon got to do with this?"
Penny held her hand up like she was turning the floor over to Sheldon, who acknowledged as he pulled himself up to his teaching height, "Nothing. Except that you two have tried to change us into people we don't like. You are both jealous and petty minded and manipulation is as common for you two as breathing. I could easily make some crack about that being like Liberal Democrats but, just sticking to facts and not generalizations, even though it's true. Leonard," Sheldon fixed him with his stare, "you are insecure about your relationship with Penny, though she has never given you any reason to doubt her. You know how she feels about cheating and yet you drive any male away as you see them as competition, and thus keep our group small. You enable her drinking; you have never supported her in her acting endeavors. You view her as a prize to be won, or on your arm as the 'hot-blond.' She is more than that. But you can't see it."
He took breath and continued before the objections could start, "And Amy; though you may be an expert on monkey and ape's brains, you know nothing of the human heart or condition. And while it is very sad about your upbringing, using subterfuge to get me to do what you want, and your constant belittling of my hobbies and things I love, prove that you will not understand me. I have only continued this relationship as I wanted to learn. I thought this would help me be a better man and thus a better partner. But both of you don't treat either myself or Penny as a partner in a relationship." He paused to take a breath, while both Amy and Leonard were too stunned to say anything.
"Amy, I am terminating our relationship agreement under Section 7, subsection W, letter J."
Amy moved her mouth like a fish out of water, finally finding her voice, "I don't recall…"
"As I thought; you and Leonard really are alike in more ways… in any case, I call it the 'John Wayne clause'; 'If the political beliefs of either party is diametrically different from the other, the relationship is terminated irrevocably at that point."
"Irrevocably?" Amy sputtered.
"Yes. There are few things that remain constant outside science, and politics tends to be one of them. There would be no way that I would allow any progeny to fall sway to the beliefs of a un-American group as Liberal Democrats who want men to be in the same restroom as women. I would take a very dim and possibly violent view if a man tried to follow my mother, or Missy or Mee-maw into a bathroom." He glanced at Penny, "I have no doubt Penny can take care of herself in that matter."
"Sheldon you are blowing that out of proportion, it means…"
"See? That's what I mean. Amy Farah Fowler we are no longer in a relationship. I will messenger over to you a copy of the dissolution agreement after I have it signed and notarized. Good luck."
Amy just stood there in shock. She looked first to Leonard then to Penny.
"Don't look at me, I'm on Sheldon's side. It might be better if you lose my number also Ames. Between some of the things you have said to me and now this…have a good life."
"Now wait a minute!" Shouted Leonard. "Sheldon you can't break up with Amy. And Penny we're not breaking up; we love each other."
"Wrong on both counts Leonard." Penny now put her hand on Sheldon's arm. "Sheldon has every right to break up with Amy. And I AM breaking up with you. I voted in the last election and I plan on voting in this election and I can promise you it ain't going to be for any Democrat. Leonard, any pretty woman will work for you. You just keep coming back to me because you give me that puppy dog face. I feel sorry for you. Both of you. I had forgotten where I came from and what some of my core values were. I am thankful a friend helped me remember them."
"You!" Leonard screamed/whined and moved to grab Sheldon but stopped when Sheldon pulled a pistol out of his messenger bag.
"Leonard while I said the university could prevent me from carrying on campus, it doesn't. Because of my work with the government and my security clearance, I have special disposition. This is a Taurus Judge. So named because of the number of judges who carry it into the courtroom for their protection. It is capable of chambering both a .410 shotgun shell and a .45 ammunition. This amazing combo gun is ideal for short distances, like this. And Leonard, like I said, I don't miss."
Leonard looked at the pistol in Sheldon's hand. Unlike other times he had seen Sheldon shake, this was not one of them. He held the pistol tucked into close into his body and pointing directly at him. Leonard looked to Penny for some help, but she had moved slightly back from Sheldon; not out of any fear, but simple proximity. You don't get in between a man with a pistol and his target.
Glancing at Amy, Leonard realized there was no help coming from there, she was looking down and still in shock. Leonard backed up some. Sheldon then moved the pistol back to his messenger bag-it seem there was a concealed pocket there he never knew about; so though the pistol was out of public sight, Sheldon kept his hand in there.
As they stared at each other a police car rolled to a stop at the curb and the officers got out.
"Is there a problem here?" Asked one of the officers.
"He's got a gun!" Leonard said and pointed at Sheldon.
With that the two officers drew their weapons and pointed them at Sheldon, "Is that true sir?" Sheldon had released his pistol into the pocket of his messenger's bag and showed both empty hands. "I have a concealed weapons permit as I do contract work for the government. My pistol is in my bag and my id is in my wallet."
One of the officer's relieved Sheldon of his bag while being covered by his partner. Once the pistol was secured, Sheldon slowly withdrew his wallet and gave the officer's his id. Penny had stayed on Sheldon's side while Leonard grinned. He liked getting Sheldon in trouble. This would prove he was the good guy.
While the officers had stopped pointing their weapons at Sheldon, they hadn't holstered them. One of them was calling in his information. Within five minutes the officers had holstered their weapons, given Sheldon his id back and his bag.
"Sorry sir, you understand we can't be too careful these days." The one with the nametag Malloy said.
Sheldon nodded and said, "I do understand and I hope you and your partner remain safe. You performed your duty with professionalism, and I will be writing a letter to let your chief know that I find your ability to handle an unknown situation superbly…"
Penny knew when Sheldon was getting wound up, so she calmly linked her arm with his and said, "Sweetie, let's go back to my place and have some dinner." She looked over at Leonard and Amy, "I don't want to be here now."
Her touch had worked its magic and Sheldon had stopped. But before the new couple could leave, the other officer with the nametag Reed said, "What was all this about? What was going on?"
Sheldon jumped in before anyone else could say a word, "Leonard and Amy are our ex's. We had just broken up with them and Leonard was denying the break up. He started to move toward Penny and myself; and I, and fearing for our safety, drew my registered firearm and warned him off."
Both officers shared a look and then looked at Leonard. His face had changed from one of glee when he thought Sheldon was going to be arrested to that of pure hated. Also Sheldon's CCW was issued by the federal government with a notation that he was considered a national asset and thus was afforded the permit to protect himself and his work.
"Well why don't you two," and Malloy motioned toward Sheldon and Penny, "head off first. We need to check their ids; should take about 10 minutes."
"But he's got a gun!" "Leonard whined.
"And he has every legal right to carry it. What doesn't need to happen is for you to keep announcing it to everyone so he may have to actually use it!" God, Reed thought, the way this guy whines, no wonder the blond broke up with him. If I have to hear much more of his nasal whining I think I know why that tall guy wanted to shoot him!
"Let's see some id." Malloy said, as Amy was already reaching into her purse for her wallet as Sheldon and Penny walked back to her car.
And a little homage to Adam-12.