Learning to Fly
"Liv, Liv" Rafael nudged her softly.
Oliva rolled over, "What?" She said sleepily wrapping an arm around his waist and burying her head in his chest. Rafael smiled at the gesture and would have given just about anything to stay in that moment.
"I've got to go back to my place and get ready for court." He said softly.
She shifted herself up slightly so she could look at him, "And you felt the need to wake me first?"
"I just wanted a minute with you. I have a bad feeling about this case, it's bigger than anything we've seen in a long time. I especially don't like that Rita is involved, we both know she will do anything to get her client off."
"They are all big cases Rafael, and we've dealt with Rita enough times to know what to expect. You worry about your case, I will be fine. "She told him before kissing him.
Rafael quickly rolled her over and kissed her with a long deep kiss.
"I thought you had to get ready for court." She reminded him as his lips moved down her neck.
"It might be awhile before we get back to this." He whined slightly causing Olivia to laugh.
"It might be but we will survive. Now go get ready for court. I will see you there." She said playfully pushing him away.
Rafael groaned as he got out of her bed, "Are you getting up?"
"I've got another hour that I can lay here." She laughed.
"Great so that's what I can think about while I go home and shower by myself." He pouted again.
"Well you should have brought a change of clothes." She teased him.
Rafael gave her a questioning look, "Is that an invitation?"
Olivia smiled at him, "Let's get through this case and we will figure this out."
Rafael kissed her one more time, "I'll see you in a little while."
"Liv, wait we need to talk." Rafael called after her, his instincts about the case had been correct and she had barley spoken to him since she slammed his office door a few days earlier.
"What do you need to tell me again that I'm wrong? Or how to do my job? Thanks I've got enough people doing that." She spat as she continued to walk past him.
"Liv please." He said quietly.
Olivia took a breath and turned back to him taking in his face and wishing they were alone. His eyes were pleading with her. She didn't know what to say to him. She knew after what was coming he was going to be livid with her, the only question was would he be livid only professionally or personally too.
"We can't do this right now." She told him.
'When?" He asked her but was interrupted when Rita walked up.
"Moring Barba, Lieutenant are you ready?" She asked Olivia.
"Ready for what?" Barba asked.
"I have a job to do." Oliva answered him.
"Don't do this Liv." He said as she walked into the courtroom.
"I have to." She reminded him.
"Damn it" Oliva muttered under her breath as she watched Rafael walk out of her office after unloading on her. She didn't blame him she had made his job twice as hard and just told him they weren't on the same side. A large part of her wanted to sit there and let him go but she knew that line between Lieutenant and District Attorney and Olivia and Rafael was a very delicate one. She took a deep breath and walked out after him.
He had already made it down the street when she called after him, "Barba" she yelled out and he kept walking. She called his name again and he still refused to turn around. He was ignoring her. She took a deep breath before calling out "Rafael."
He stopped at once and turned back to face her but didn't move. She walked quickly to catch up to him.
"I'm sorry I can't be on your side on this one and I am sorry that is making your job harder, but I won't' apologize for doing what I think is right." She told him standing directly in front of him.
She could tell he was still angry but his features were beginning to soften, "I'm sorry I said you were being self-centered and stupid. You are never either of those things. I sometimes wish I could just fight for victims like you do but my role is different, I have to think about the bigger picture. I don't always like it and I hate it when you aren't on my side."
Oliva reached down and took his hand, "Whatever we are doing, isn't going to be easy. Lieutenant Benson won't always be able to be on your side, she's going to push you and you are going to push her, that's how it works, but Olivia is on Rafael's side always."
Rafael studied her for a minute and nodded, "I can live with that, but Olivia has to return Rafael's phone calls and texts then."
Olivia nodded, "Will you come over tonight, please?" she asked him.
Rafael smiled and squeezed her hand, "I'll see you there." He said and started to walk away.
"Hey Raf," She called out after him smiling when he turned around, "bring a change of clothes."
Rafael raised an eyebrow and walk back to her, "I was already planning on it." He said before dropping a quick kiss on her lips before rushing off to meet with Rita and Anna.
Rafael poured two glasses of wine and walked into Olivia's living room waiting for her to finish putting Noah to bed. To say that it had been a long day would be an understatement. Not two hours after their conversation in the street she had stormed into his office livid that he wasn't prosecuting the case. She brought him around and he fought to get the phone unlocked. When ultimately he knew he was at a dead end her did his best to let her down gently. Ultimately, the feds had taken Ali and the boy was going to live with an aunt. It was an outcome Liv could accept.
He sat down on the couch and looked at the letters still sitting on the table where he had left them days ago. He picked one up and read it again,
This is letter number ten, I'm no lawyer but you've taught me how to make my case pretty well over the years. I think in these letters I think I have ultimately made the case for why you should run away and never look back. I know that I am not the easiest person to have a relationship with. Vulnerability and openness don't come easily to me. You already know that I am stubborn and tend to react from my heart and not my head. Too often I let fear have the final say. I'm tired of letting it though.
I have realized fear will always be a part of me but I don't want it to run the show anymore. I want to fly with you Rafael. I love you Rafael, you and Noah are my heart.
"Is that the one where I tell you to never speak to me again?" Oliva asked nervously from behind him.
Rafael stood up and circled the couch and pulled her into his arms.
"It's the one that reminded me why I love you so much. You are so honest, and brave, and good and you don't even realize it. You have the biggest heart of anyone I have ever met so if that's what you are letting guide you I can't argue, even when I don't like where it's leading. Ultimately, at the end of the day if your heart leads you back here that's all I care about, and it's my job to make sure it does." He told her before kissing her.
"There is nowhere else my heart wants to be Raf, I love you." She whispered as she felt her heart begin to soar.