Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN EAS NOR FROZEN.
Setting: Probably in between, OGAI and OSAS... It takes place where Solange is just chillin' at her Ice Palace. Pure humor.
Total Noob Question: What does crack mean? Like for fanfiction.
On the icy mountain, in the icy castle(literally, it was made out of ice), in the icy room, in front of the icy mirror to the outside world, on an icy stool, sat, an icy queen. Figuratively.
Her name was, Solange. And currently, she was watching, Frozen.
Before, when Solange got the news, her first thought was, "They made a movie about a snow queen? Must be me. About time mortals respected me!" And so, she sent a witch to go shopping for her.
"Don't forget the milk! We need milk for our enchantment we're working on!" She had said. The witch had come back, with milk, and a DVD version of Frozen.
"Now, shoo! Shoo!" Solange made a shooing motion to the witch, and closed her doors. Then the ice queen popped the DVD in the mirror/tv. Solange poorly attempted to make popcorn, and instead got frozen kernels. better than nothing.
Solange got comfy on her stool, trying to eat frozen kernels.
To Solange's surprise, the movie starts out with, a bunch of hunky men, cutting ice. Solange snorted. "Look at that child. Working so hard, with his retarded reindeer. When, I can just shape ice to do my will." Wait. Villains have henchmen. What happen if these were Solange's henchmen? Waiting to serve her in anyway possible.
Then, the suspense.
Solange looked in disgust at Elsa. "That? That's who they shaped the main character as?" The ice queen shuddered. Is it a coincidence that Elsa and Anna looked like her and Rapunzel when they were younger?
Then Elsa accidently throws a snowball at Anna's head.
"YES! YES! GO FOR THE SHOT, ELSA!"
Some trolls tentatively opened Solange's door, they lost a rock, paper, scissor, match, and had to suffer the consequences of asking her majesty to shut up. "Y-Your Majesty, would you p-please quiet down a bit? We're trying to play, err, poker." Solange sent them a death glare.
"No. Deal with it."
The door closed once again.
Now Elsa runs away, because she thinks that she's a monster. Solange stares in disbelief at the movie. "What? You're not a monster, Elsa! The other people are normal. Prove your power to the people!"
She still runs away.
Elsa sings, Let It Go. While she's at it, she builds the super mega castle. Solange spits out her frozen kernels. "That, is, marvelous. Almost looks like mine, but I'm superior."
Solange pauses the video to go inspect her ice castle. "Hmm, I need more design, my castle just looks like a block of ice, with spikes poking out." Then the ice queen takes the time to redesign. "That's better! Back to watching!" The straw-colored haired girl unpaused the video.
When being attacked, Elsa makes Marshmallow, the monster. Solange falls over. "What? She can make that? Why not me. Perhaps when I'm done, I shall go try making a monster."
Then Hans, kidnaps Elsa and chains her, leaving Solange speechless at the action. "Hans? Betrayal? I never thought... Elsa must get out of that prison! And I need more popcorn."
One Frozen Kernel Getting Later...
"Yes, Elsa... Freeze the chains..." Solange whispered in a creepy voice. The trolls on the other side could hear everything, from munching on the frozen kernels, to the creepy voices. Oh, will they ever play poker in peace? Probably not.
Solange was glued to the screen. "Hans... You traitor." Currently, Hans was trying to kill Elsa, and Anna was in a tight situation between Kristoff and Elsa. Who to save, or be saved? Solange was munching on the kernels, with her knees up to her chest.
Anna, in a desperate situation, runs toward Elsa, causing her to freeze, when the sword connects to Anna's hand. Solange fell over, "No... Do you think I can freeze my body parts and then unfreeze them again, too?"
Solange was sobbing, "Who's going to save the girl now? She was so naive!" Then Elsa runs to Anna and cries on her shoulder.
With tear-filled eyes, Solange looks up. "Sisterly love? Saves Anna..." The trolls were mourning over the loss of silence. Solange was in a rage.
"WHAT A TWIST! WHAT A TWIST!"
All trolls wanted to do was play poker in peace. Maybe they should convert to Rory Landon's side.
Chase looked at the ice palace while being flown by the West Wind. He thought, Did Solange get a new crib? The palace, now looks snazzy!