I discovered Worm and figured it could use a JakeCrown SI. Expect bad writing, sporadic updates, and horrid spelling/grammar. Chances of faster updates rise with more reviews and likes.
Jake was drunk.
He had gotten drunk before. Plenty of times. Right now, he was weaving back and forth on the highway, after a very bad day.
This morning his dog was ran over by a car. Poor little Wednesday Addams was the sweetest little puppy in the world. He left the vet in tears and a little box with her ashes.
He had come home from the vet and found his fiance in bed with the rich guy from next door. They had quickly fled the house in terror. Rock-salt shotgun pellets still embedded in their bodies.
After getting into his car to avoid the police response, he settled on driving to his mom's house to cry on his mommas shoulder. He was interrupted from his misery by a phone call from his crying sister.
Jake's momma had died. Killed by her abusive third husband for burning a roast. Jake took another long draw on the bottle of tequila.
Jakes car met the highway's guardrail and crashed through it. It rolled and tumbled down the hill. Jake miraculously survived with only some minor whiplash.
He climbed out of the smoking and crumbled wreckage of his car, clutching his best friend's ashes and a bottle of tequila. He noticed the bottle was broken and empty.
"Figures" He cursed and tossed the bottle into the woods at the bottom of the hill.
The bottle made a strange clunking sound as it hit something soft in the underbrush.
Thats when the bear began to growl. Jake's last memories were of the bear as it clawed it's was out of the underbrush in a rage.
Thing became red, wet, and blurry after that.
"Fuck you you omnipotent dick!" I called out the deity.
"You refuse to spend eternity in heaven?" An ethereal and wise voice questioned.
"No one asked my permission to stick me with this! I refuse! There are Scientologists and Mormons here. Theres no weed! No liqueur! No poontang! I will not spend eternity wasting away next to these bozos! Unmake me! Give me peace!" I screamed and ranted.
"You would prefer the alternative?" God spoke
"Do good here and I may grant your request."
A great glowing foot came down from the sky and kicked me in the chest. Light became a kaleidescope of colors. Horrid visions attacked my mind. Unbearable pain racked my weary and angry soul.
And then it stopped.
"Hi, My name is Keanu Rainwater. I'm a transfer student from Austin, Texas. I'm 15 and I like reading and Earth-aleph movies." I stood before an entire classroom of bored delinquents. Half the class snickered at my name.
"What a loser" One of the girls in the back row commented. The rest of the class burst out laughing over the teacher's protests.
"What kind of name is that, anyway?" Another little bastard at the back of the room couldn't help but ask. The laughter began again. I rolled my eyes at the ceiling and counted to ten. 'The curse of having new-age crystal worshiping hippies for parents in my new life was becoming more apparent all the time.'
"Can I sit down now?" I practically begged my new homeroom teacher Mr. Glady.
"Of course. Have a seat over there." He pointed to the end of the front row. I took a seat with poor grace.
I repeated it like a mantra.
Anything to avoid eternity with idiots. Even if I have to go through puberty again.
I endured the introductions to the next class with the same grace I had for the first. By the end of the second period, I was ready to shoot myself in the foot to get out of the rest of the day's classes.
As soon as the bell rang for lunch period to start, I was out the door and heading to the cafeteria in a flash. "Watch it dweeb". A hairless football-type gorilla pushed me to the floor from behind.
"You watch it you fucking dick-slime" I retorted instantly, without thinking
I wasn't the 215lbs of muscle I was in my past life. I was a skinny teenage beanpole. Who just mouthed off to a 300lbs 'inner city teen' senior linebacker.
I nursed my shiner and bloody nose in the nurses office for the better part of my lunch period. I left the nurses office feeling out my tender ribs and cursing the weak painkilling effects of Tylenol. Maybe I could still get some lunch before the lunch break ended.
"I need a joint." I groaned, as I walked through the cafeteria doors. And the I stopped. I smelled it the magical herb. The painkiller of my dreams.
I started to sniff left and right. The cafeteria had a few different groups hanging together. I could see some yakuza wannabes in the left corner huddled together, eating silently. Some skinheads being loud all together in the middle of the room.
And finally, Some sketchy looking junky types glancing around the room glassy eyed and giggling in the right back corner. The smell was coming from them.
I made my way over.
They had a few joints being passed around the table.
What kind of school was this?
I loved Winslow High already.