Coleiosis Productions presents…
A new season premiere to the longest-running fanfiction series!
Volume Two, Season Five
LifeWar, Episode One
A new tale told in splendor by the most talked-about team in fandom.
Cool Cole Bezotte, writer
Super Sofie Spangenberg, plotter
Fiery Forrest Eaton, editor
Neat Needle Kirby, editor #2
And with a special help from the creator of this issue's featured OC, our pal Lucky Luke!
And now…it's time for action!
Introduction: Ratchet's life from past to future…
Born from the fire clean, crawling in the dirt like war
5 years, my mother gave a voice for war
10, I was dead, born again with eyes for war
By 15, hate was the name of my war
Wash me in the river
Give me to the pain of LifeWar
20 years gone, and father told me life was like war
Hands to the bone, 25 years of war
30, I wake to the sound of souls at war
I will pass through, buried in the flag of my war
Wash me in the river
Give me to the pain of LifeWar
Now for the real deal
It had been over a week since Ratchet had made his sworn vow to roam the universe and seek the people he had lost all his life. So far throughout his years, he found only certain Lombaxes who had survived the Cragmite invasion, such as Angela Cross, agent of MegaCorp. Later on came along Alistair Azzimuth, a friend of his father Kaden. And now, at the present time, Ratchet knows more about the new friends of his, Alex Gemini, Tatzeya, and Donna.
Today was something new though; Ratchet came into contact with a male Lombax who had stepped foot upon Earth about the same time that he did a long time ago. Tyler was his name, and his story was crashing his ship into the Los Angeles river after a battle against enemy space pirates. And once his unconscious body was fished out of the water by two U.S. Government agents, the population knew that any alien race would tend to stay on their planet.
Yes, during the time that Ratchet was forming the League of Heroes, Agent Stone's sharp eyes immediately found a bitter hatred towards the Lombax race, claiming it to be suspiciously secretive. First Ratchet, now Tyler seemed like a bitter enemy. However, Agent Shepherd was compassionate for the alien race, knowing that peace was already involved in their coming upon Earth. "He drove those space pirates away from Earth…" he spoke softly, examining the cold head of Tyler. "This boy is a hero."
"This boy is under arrest!" Stone replied sternly. "Our first alien visitor must have manipulated him to crash his ship here and steal our water supply."
"Don't be a fool, Stone! If you dare do one last remark like that, you will be removed from the U.S. Government! You'll be stripped of your duties to every single one of your badges! Does that sound fair to you?"
"My duty is to protect our planet from the aliens that dare intrude!"
"And apparently, you cannot tell hostile from friendly, agent. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll see to it that this one wakes up and gets fed fully."
Many months later, Tyler finally made the call to Ratchet, requesting help for pulling his ship out of the Los Angeles river. Ratchet accepted, also very eager to see that many other people of his race were still alive and active. About fifteen minutes later, he and a selected number of friends from his fellow League of Heroes arrived at the boat docks, seeing Tyler and Agent Shepherd patiently waiting there for them. "We're right on time!" Ratchet spoke, grabbing his scuba gear as he walked towards the edge of the nearest boat. "Now we can finally get this thing out of there and help the poor soul go home."
"I'm glad you came to help…" Tyler spoke to him, pointing towards what was beneath the sea. "I couldn't find any spaceship engineers to help until I found out you lead a crime-fighting team here."
Quickly emerging from the water, Nathan Drake appeared in his scuba-diving outfit, giving full report on what he found down there. "I found it!" he exclaimed. "A hundred feet below—only the tail section is protruding."
Minutes later, Captain Qwark arrived at the bottom of the river, attempting to move the ship from where it was stuck. "I don't get it!" he said as he kept on pushing. "My muscles are twice normal size, but I can't budge it! We've got a job on our hands!"
"Ratchet asked me to position this waterproof closed-circuit TV camera over the hull," came in Talwyn Apogee, another willing volunteer. "I'll release a buoy to hold it in place."
The camera in position, the League of Heroes spent the rest of the afternoon building a secure platform for Ratchet to stand upon. Nathan finally fished himself out and climbed aboard to give Ratchet the word to put his work into action. "Okay, Ratchet, this wraps it up," he said. "Are you ready for the next move?"
"As ready as I'll ever be," Ratchet enthusiastically replied. "Now stand back. You would have never seen what I'm going to do. This new oversized Omniwrench I recently finished should have enough magnetic power to pull the rest of the ship out of the ground."
"You've told me that those kinds of wrenches pull bolts towards 'em. Are you sure it will do the same here?"
"I've made up a lot of time to import many different modifications into this thing. And all that makes up the strongest magnetic attraction ever!"
Sighting upon the entrapped space ship through his TV viewer, the Lombax slowly rotated the huge wrench over the hull, directing an irresistible torrent of cosmic magnetic waves toward the alien craft. Steadily, with ever-increasing force, they pulled at the heavy object—without let-up, without ever slackening—until—success entered the scene.
"It worked!" Nathan exclaimed. "You freed the ship!"
"Why do you sound surprised?" Ratchet replied. "Haven't you been studying on this race?"
"Yeah, but you brought in something completely new."
Down below, Tyler and Captain Qwark watched in amazement as the ship was removed from the deep ground that it was once stuck in. "You kept your word!" Tyler exclaimed in joy. "Now I can repair my ship in minutes, and depart from here!"
"Now that it's floating free…" Qwark replied, "…the water makes it almost weightless! If only that happened to me…"
"You can leave it here. I'll make my repairs underwater, safe from any prying eyes."
"Suit yourself, mister. As long as you hit the road, we don't care how you do it."
But Captain Qwark's sentence was cut short by a thunderous explosion which rocked the dock at that split-second. And back on the surface, the League of Heroes were amazed to see that Dr. Neo Cortex had returned with his League of Villains, with their own vow to wipe any hero from the face of the universe.
"Now you see who the accursed enemy is!" Cortex called to his freakish friends. "This time, we do our combat on foot!"
Though the first onslaught was unexpected and devastating, the heroes' battle-trained reflexes were equal to the challenge. "You'll have to do better than that, laughing boy!" Nathan taunted, drawing his pistol and making ready to fire.
"You'll get your wish, archaeologist!" Frank McCutcheon retorted as he lunged his fists forward. Though his sewn face was covered by a hockey mask, his senses were still stronger than any other's. "I'll do so much better! I'm gonna enjoy gutting you, you pig!"
"I'll have to act fast!" Nathan thought as he felt the blows from Frank's fists. "He must be a heavily-trained boxer, because his fists are like living sledgehammers! I won't be able to take it much longer!"
Quickly, from behind, Ratchet's new giant wrench put Frank momentarily out of action. Setting the magnetic power in reverse, he caused the wrench to unleash the full force of its transistor-powered magnetic repulser, spinning Frank out of control. "Now I've got to hope we can think of something fast!" Ratchet thought as the force was about to die down. "At full intensity, the magnetic ray will only last another few seconds. I've already used up so much of it for digging the ship out."
And, no sooner did the miniaturized transistors lose their power, than the enraged faceless one caught onto a nearby boulder. Seeing it, Tiny Tiger soon came up with the idea to lift it all the way above his head and hurl it right at the enemy. "Tiny feel much stronger now, thanks to the doctor's potion!" he thought aloud as he threw it at Nathan. "Here, puny man! Here's a sample of Tiny's might!"
"He smashed that huge boulder like an eggshell!" Nathan thought, struggling to avoid the remains of the rock. "The flying chunks are hitting me—almost like knives hurling at me!"
"Tiny not satisfied until you dead!" Tiny exclaimed as he landed a blow upon the archaeologist.
"We may need your help!" N. Gin called to the brute. "The Lombax besieges us!"
Dr. Neo Cortex was already occupied with battling Ratchet, though it was a very tough outcome, seeing that Ratchet's giant wrench was keeping the mad doctor at bay. Swinging it constantly, Ratchet kept all those other villains at bay, backing them away from him. "You better show yourself now, Cortex!" he shouted. "I don't want to waste my time on these idiots of yours!"
"I'll show you the TRUE work of a mad scientist!" Cortex replied, pointing his new laser rifle at him. "Are you ready to face your death?"
"Though your mind may be intelligent, you most certainly have not studied the Lombax race at all!" With those words said, Ratchet once again used the magnetic power of the Omniwrench to hurl back what was shot at him. The laser beam from Cortex's rifle came ever so closer to the Lombax, but was later repelled back at him due to the wrench's magnetic power.
"Such a naughty race of mischievous Lombaxes cheat at combat!" the mad doctor thought in frustration. "Am I to be no match for him?!"
At that same time, Captain Qwark returned to the surface, recovered from that blast from earlier. He right away noticed Nathan in trouble, battling against heavy odds; he thought that this would be the opportunity to even them.
"If all you bully-boys enjoy ganging up on ONE man…" Qwark taunted, picking up Dr. Nefarious and Rusty Pete by the necks, "…try ME for size! Hey, I notice you're not whooping it up so much now!" Then, with one thrust of both his strong arms, he threw the two fiends forwards and into a pile of crates on the boat's deck.
"Thanks, big fella!" Nathan said to him, finally finding enough room to fight. "I'll handle Stone for now. You better see how Ratchet's making out."
"Will do, fella!" Qwark replied. "But I wonder what happened to the other Lombax. He still hasn't taken off yet!"
And the answer was given right away: Tiny Tiger found Tyler in the waters below and snatched him out of there, taking him as hostage. Ratchet witnessed the dark deed that was about to be put into effort, seeing Tiny hold Tyler by the arms as Dr. Cortex aimed his laser rifle at his head. "You better step back, all of you!" Cortex demanded. "I still have an ace in the hole! You forget about the this one—he is our hostage now!"
"The lad is in danger!" Ratchet thought silently, gripping his wrench very tightly. "This I will not tolerate!"
"Don't worry about me, guys!" Tyler exclaimed in a panic. "Clobber these goons, once and for all!"
"Make one move towards me…" Cortex continued, "…and the boy's life is—WHAT?! Oh no, PLEASE!"
The sight of seeing a long-time nemesis of his brought Dr. Neo Cortex's blood to a boil. Crash Bandicoot arrived at the scene just in time with Aku Aku; they tracked down their enemy just as they promised before. After Alex Gemini brought the Time Cube back to its normal state, she gave them a tracking device to hunt down the mad genius when needed.
"It worked just as we hoped it would!" Aku Aku spoke. "Man, she was a real helper!"
"Geeya oozah!" Crash exclaimed in his childish tongue, sadly knowing very little English. Aku Aku figured that it meant, "Let's roll right into them!"
"If only Alex didn't turn against us!" Cortex growled in frustration. "If that didn't happen, we would still have the Black Cube with us for unlimited power!"
"You mean TIME Cube?" Aku Aku replied.
"The Time Cube!" Ratchet thought, quietly sneaking to free Tyler of Tiny Tiger's grip. "But if those two didn't take it, then who did? And where did Donna disappear to after the previous battle?"
"Booyah!" Crash shrieked, spinning in place where he stood. It was his chance to attack head-on at the one who had created him, and who hated him. The evil scientist desperately moved out of the way to avoid the bandicoot's spin-attack and darted for the ship that he used to arrive here.
"I've already been through enough trouble today!" Cortex thought as he gathered the others in his team. "I may have given Tiny the potion that made him stronger, but that does not mean I should keep a secret from the others. I'll give them what they need soon…"
"They're falling back!" Aku Aku exclaimed. "I guess what he went through today was way too much. Great going, Crash!"
"Wahoo!" Crash screamed happily, dancing a short jig.
"And look! There's the one we need to see! Nice to see you, Ratchet! Crash and I are wondering about something very important."
"And what is that, my friend?" Ratchet replied. "You can ask me anything."
"It's about your crime-fighting team. We were wondering if we could join your group, but we'd still be stationed at Wumpa Island, along with the other Bandicoots. You don't HAVE to accept us if you don't want to."
"Who said I wouldn't want to? We can really need enough members in our team to stay strong in sweeping evil away."
"Thanks, Ratchet! Did you hear that, Crash? We're in! Let's go back home and tell your sister and Crunch!"
"Weehah!" Crash shrieked, rushing back to where he and Aku Aku came from.
"And what about YOU?" Ratchet asked Tyler, turning to face him. "Would YOU like to become part of the world's greatest fighting team?"
"I'm not sure…" Tyler shyly replied. "This is something I would have to think about deeply. Although it sounds very convincing, I'll need to sleep on it."
"That's okay… Take your time on it. If you don't want to, that's okay with me and the rest of the gang."
"Thanks, guys. Well, I better see if my ship is ready for takeoff. I'll see you all some other time."
"One new Lombax found…" Ratchet thought, watching Tyler diving back into the water to fetch his ship. "That wasn't so bad. But something deep inside tells me that this will become more challenging as it goes along. I wonder who else I can find…"
Will Tyler join the League of Heroes? Will Needles appear sometime in this season? Will we see more of Crash and the Bandicoots? We'll see next time, along with the special appearance of a surprise villain.