The Discordia Asylum. Home sweet horror. DieDoktor thought to himself as his hearse rolled up the street of Syracuse, New York. Once known as the Quizilla Penitentiary, DieDoktor had bought the penitentiary and gave the place an overhaul. He used it as the crux of his new enterprise: creating, supplying and distributing fanfiction all around the world. He had sent invites to the most popular fanfiction writers from various fandoms from all around the planet in an effort to unite them and create a congregation of imagination, creativity, and ingenuity. The world would have a second Renaissance under these writers.

They all declined.

So doktor went to the 2nd most popular writers.

They all declined.

As did the 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th, and the 7th, oh god how vehemently did the 7th most popular writers reject him in unison. 7 was supposed to be a lucky number too.

Eventually, Doktor wandered around the worlds of fanfiction, desperately seeking anyone who would join him in his cause. And, one at a time, curious writers seeking to make it big would come to him. Unfortunately, each and every single one of them was a bona fide lunatic. Either from straight out of the gate, or the other inmates of his Asylum would corrupt them soon enough. The only things that kept him going was to see the looks on the faces of both readers and writers when they had found that spark, that moment of glorious excitement that literature could bring. Someday, his company Discord would grow to gargantuan heights, and he will be celebrated as the man who created it all. But for now, at least he had his hearse.

Doktor looked at the picture on his dashboard. As nice as the hearse was, he real dream was to someday drive a T-72 tank with its 46 MM canon and 7.62 MM machine gun. No one would ever cut in front of him in traffic ever again. Someday. He thought to himself.

Doktor pulled up into the driveway. His hearse was loaded in groceries, and he sure as hell wasn't going to unload them.

"GROCERIES!" He yelled into the air. "COME ON OUT AND GET THEM! IF YOU'RE GOING TO BE FOOD LIONS AND EAT IT ALL, AT LEAST UNPACK IT!"

Someone came outside, looking groggy and annoyed. "Dok, what the hell are you screaming about?" Ashes came outside in bunny slippers, pajama pants, and a shirt that said 'Stony is the best because it's rock hard.'

"Help me get groceries."

Ashes when into the side of the car, and came out with a bag of sour cream and onion chips. "Helped you unpack."

"Why the hell did I make you a moderator again?"

"Because if you fire me I'll rip out your spine and use it for my bookshelf. That's why." She said, walking right past him.

"Just so you know, I pay Deejay and Taffer more!" He called out as she walked back inside. Doktor grumbled, no one was coming outside. Only one thing left to do.

Cupping his hands over his mouth, Dok shouted out at the top of his lungs. "I HAVE ALCHOHOL!"

"DID SOMEONE SAY ALCOHOL?"

Dok smiled. He could always rely on alcoholism. "3...2..1..."

"YAHOOOOOO!"

He looked up and saw a man jump out of the window. "WHIIIIIIIIIISKEEEEEH!"

"Hi silver!" Dok called out at Silver crash landed on the top of his hearse. "I got your favorite! All you have to do is unpack all the groceries! You can stop when you find it!"

"SWEET! THANKS DOK!" Silver immediately started grabbing bags and rushing off into the house with them.

Doktor smiled. Silver was always so reliable when it came to unpacking. As long as he was looking for the drinks, he would come back again and again and again...

"I know you keep the alcohol under the driver's seat Dok."

Dok turned around in shock. "Cy-Fox? How did you know?" He turned a saw a man with unkempt hair on his face and a Tails shirt on.

"Yeah, it's me. Every now and again you forget to put it in the driver's seat under your feet and you run around the car and get it before you announce yourself home. Yeah, I see when you do that."

He reached for the groceries in the back anyway. "I'll humor you and play along though. Let's just get these groceries in. By the way, where the hell is Cheeky Bastard? Doesn't he help you out with this?"

Dok looked around. "Yeah, where is Rae anyway?"

"I'M COMING!" He heard a voice yell out. "I JUST HAVE ALOT OF EXTRA WEIGHT ON ME. ALOT. ITS REALLY HEAVY!"

"IT'S* YOU CLOD!"

Doktor and Cy-Fox stood and watched as Raeror came outside with Pug riding on his shoulders.

"Should I even ask?" Dok said.

"She beat me in arm wrestling." Raeror admitted, holding his head in shame.

Cy-Fox looked at the petite blond girl wearing a pug shirt, then at the giant man who was twice her size. "How... just, how?"

"She kicked me in my shins under the table. I didn't even know she could reach that far." Rae said.

"He could either watch an episode of Degrassi with me, or he could give a piggyback ride all day." Pug smiled. "He made his choice."

"Well, in this case its a puggyback ride, and I know I made the right choice."

"It's*."

"If you can carry Pug, you can carry a bag. Take this." Doktor handed the Rae bag.

"Why not Pug too?" Cy-Fox said. "She does have her hands free."

"Fair point." Dok also handed Pug a bag, which covered over Rae's eyes.

"UM! WE HAVE A PROBLEM HERE!" He said.

"Oh relax! I'll tell you where to go." Pug replied. "Left, straight... straight... straight... right... left."

Raeror turned and smacked face first into the concrete wall. "OW, GODDAMNIT THAT HURT!"

"That was for the fat joke, you pleb."

Raeror turned around and backed into the wall, crushing Pug between a rock and a hard-headed place.

"OOF! OUCH THAT HURT! I AM GOING TO SMACK YOU WITH THIS BAG."

"You break it, you buy it!" Dok shouted as Silver ran by him again. "WHERE ARE YOU BOURBON?" Silver picked a bag at random and started to look through it. "DAMN, IT'S NOT IN HERE EITHER!"

"Well since you have your hands on it, take it inside."

"I NEED MY SCOTCH TAPE TO HOLD ME TOGETHER!" Silver shouted in agony as he dashed back in.

One by one, the groceries got unpack from the hearse and taken into the kitchen where they would be sorted. Amaranthium and her wolf stood guard, making sure no one hid anything under their clothes on the way back to their rooms.

GROCERY RETRIVAL ACTIVATE- INITIATING . A robot came crawling outside, with thin arms a giant head.

"Oh, I see it's Flake's Myr coming out. Myr: call up Flake, now."

BEEP BOOP BEEP BOOP

"...Hello?"

"Flakes it's me, dinner is gonna be ready in an hour or two, where are you?"

"We're making one more stop in Toronto, and then I'll be on my back. Give me a few hours."

"Fine, see you when you get here."

Doktor turned back to the ant. "Meanwhile, you can help put this away."

Getting the last of the bags, Doktor locked the door as a gust of wind started to blow at the edge of the driveway.

"Oh, NOW he wants to show up." Dok muttered as the gust of wind became a swirling tornado on the lawn. When the tornado was gone, a man had appeared, dressed in a red tie with a black jacket and black gloves.

"'Ello chaps." The man said.

"You're late 42." Dok said.

"The groceries are unpacked, but the food's not being eaten. I'd say that I'm right on time." He said as he walked into the house.

"42? Why are you here? Don't you have a house in England? Along with your own food?" Taffer asked.

"Yes I do." He responded. "Bills are great there since I'm here a good amount of the time. And since I can eat here, I don't have to buy food. So thanks for that."

"You are such a cheapskate! You already don't pay gas, now you want free food and free room and board."

"Hey, I'm Doktor's Discord European ambassador, I work for this. Second of all, I do drive a car, and my Mini Cooper is amazing."

"Well you're going to have to pay for my food, that steak is costing you 6 dollars."

"Sure." 42 opened his wallet. "Do you want that in pounds, euros, or sterling? I definitely want you to get the best deal, so I'll let your pick."

"Oh fuck you, I'm burning your steak." Taffer walked away, muttering under her breath.

"Aren't pounds and sterling the same thing? Doktor asked.

42 put his finger to his mouth. "Shhhhh. Gotta keep them guessing."

They walked by Amara putting up a picture of a waterfall. "Woah, that's beautiful. Where is that from?" 42 asked.

"Since Amara can no longer go to Yellowstone, she's putting up pictures of the place everywhere in the asylum.

"So just to be clear: Flake's into blue water, Amara's into Yellowstone, and Taffer's into Redfield?"

"And Squid wants a green card to get away from his parents."

"Got it. Let's eat."