Name the Day
"Your tie is crooked."
"I know!" Bill attempted to fix his tie in the mirror again. He looked incredibly nervous while Charlie balanced precariously on the back two legs of his chair as he observed his normally very calm brother slowly lose his grip on his sanity. "I think I'm strangling myself."
There was a thud as Charlie got out of his chair and walked over to help his brother. The bride might be displeased to hear of her bridegroom strangling himself with his tie on their wedding day. Fleur would not stand for that.
Unlike his brother, Charlie's hands were not shaking. One could not have shaky hands when working with dragons. That was how some people got eaten.
"She's to good for me, Charlie."
"I think that goes both ways, but I wouldn't ask for Mum's input on that end."
Bill laughed as Charlie took a step back to make sure the tie was straight. "No, actually they're getting along much better now. I think Mum's trying to teach her how to knit."
"Oh, dear, extra sweaters this year then?" Charlie reached up to fix his own tie and adjust his jacket.
"Most likely." Bill paused and looked around the room thoughtfully before his gaze was drawn to the mirror in the corner of the room and touched his scars thoughtfully. "She could have any man she wanted."
"She wants you, Bill. Raw meat cravings and all that comes with it. Now, pull yourself together before Fleur beats you down the aisle."
Charlie drank down the rest of his whiskey in one gulp and watched what was sure to be an interesting scene before him. George had gotten into the liquor before giving his best man speech. Charlie wanted to remember this moment. He was sitting with some of Audrey's family and these people were a little drunk and a little rowdy and started cheering when George stood up from his seat and clanged his glass.
Lucia jabbed her elbow into Charlie's ribs, she had given her speech earlier. It was sweet, sentimental, and made his mother blush profusely when she brought up one of her and Audrey's adventures in being single women.
("Audrey, do you remember that time in the Broken Broomstick because I sure don't! Scully keeps telling me to ask you and you won't say anything about it.")
George smiled and Charlie reached for the full whiskey bottle in the center of the table. He missed as the bottle that was not longer there and in the hands of Audrey's father instead who gave Charlie a stern look before popping off the top and refilling everyone's glasses and keeping what was left in the bottle for himself.
"Friends, family and assorted miscreants." He looked at Septimus pointedly. Septimus flashed a rude hand gesture out of the mother of the groom's view. Charlie felt his opinion of the bride's father rising rapidly. "I am standing up here to tell you all about my brother and the poor woman he convinced to marry him. Audrey, I'm not sure you know what you have gotten yourself into, but I'm not worried about you. She's one of the brightest people I know and she'll fit into this family just fine." There were a few awws from the guests while Audrey blushed. She was such a pretty bride.
"Now, onto the other half of this pair, my brother is by all accounts neurotic, uptight, and tone deaf. Percy, I have lived next-door to your wife's family for five years, and they are going to eat you alive." Septimus smiled like a cat that had just swallowed the canary and the other residents of the Septenary chuckled. George waited for the laughter to die down before continuing. "I'm not sure when they started dating, Percy's never been one to admit to the more intimate details of his life. It was always fun to pick on him and see what stuck." Audrey put her hand on Percy's shoulder as the tips of his ears lit up. "In fact, neither of them wanted us to know they were dating the other!"
George wore an expression of mock scandal and Charlie leaned closer, along with a large portion of the other guests.
"Now I understand Audrey not wanting to say anything, but Percy should have been showing her off and bragging about finding someone who found his quirks attractive and interesting. We found out after Audrey's lovely father, caught them snogging and tried to turn Percy into a toad from his bedroom window. If that's his reaction to a kiss what's he going to be like when they have children?"
Charlie snorted and managed to sneak a glance at Audrey's father who looked like he was contemplating just what he would do when that happened.
George waved at Septimus, who gave him a fierce look of 'I know where you live' before rolling his eyes and caressing his bottle of whiskey.
"So Septimus, when do you want to be a grouchy grandpa?"
Charlie tried to smother his laughter when Audrey's father flashed another rude gesture at George that was unfortunately seen by Charlie's mum who promptly turned red with anger.
"George, I am uncomfortably aware of where you live and I'd like to remind you that I'm probably going to die soon." There was a malicious smirk forming that reminded Charlie of a dragon getting its prey. "I doubt you want me to come back and haunt you and Angelina, and watch you have sex. Merlin knows I've heard enough through your open bedroom window and it all sounds very exciting."
Molly Weasley's mouth dropped open as she turned her attention to George who was beat red in the face. Clearly this was the first she and everyone else had heard about George and Angelina. Angelina dove behind the bar; Charlie thought she had a large bottle of wine in her hands. Percy was wearing a similar expression as his mother and Audrey was shaking with what appeared to be repressed laughter. Charlie had a feeling this was not the first she had heard about this.
"Should have been showing her off, George?"
"Shut up, Percy."
Charlie made a note to come to more family events when given the chance or floo call his mother more often. She was definitely going to have many complaints (Charlie called them hilarious anecdotes) about Percy's in-laws.
Ron had always been the one brother Charlie worried about a little more then the others. He was a bit easier to pass over, from the twins to the only girl born into the Weasley family in several generations, best friend to Harry Potter and the brightest witch of her generation. Ron was just very normal.
Which is why Charlie hoped this wedding was not a disaster.
The thunder in the distance promised something else entirely.
It was about four in the morning and now Charlie could not sleep anymore. He got up and looked for the shirt he had thrown into the corner of the room the night before. He would go make some coffee and sit outside on the roofed porch and wait for everyone else to either arrive or wake up.
He was quiet as he slipped into the hallway and was very careful about stepping over the creaky steps as the house shook with more thunder in the distance. Charlie loved a good storm. The world felt fresh when the storm cleared out.
Charlie was surprised to smell coffee as he reached the kitchen.
He was much more surprised to see Ron up and about then the smell of coffee. Ron would sleep until noon if given half a chance. The growing boy excuse had stopped when he finally stopped growing out of his trousers.
"Morning Ron!" Charlie may have said this a little louder then he intended because Ron jumped a foot in the air and almost spilled his coffee down his front.
"Bloody hell, Charlie!"
"You gonna share that coffee?"
Ron rolled his eyes, "Why are you up?"
Charlie shrugged as he walked over to the cabinet to get a mug. "The storm. I was going to sit outside and enjoy it with a cup of coffee. You can join me if you want. We can talk before everyone wakes up."
Ron nodded mutely and went to take a seat on the porch, Charlie heard the door close behind him as he spooned some sugar into his cup and stirred it into his coffee.
He then followed his youngest brother out and took the empty seat next to him and summoned the small table from the far end of the porch to sit between them.
They sat in silence for a few minutes before Ron opened his mouth.
"Do you think me and Hermione will be good at marriage?"
Charlie blinked owlishly before turning to Ron. "I'm not married, Ron."
"Oh, right, it's getting hard to keep track."
Charlie took a sip of his coffee before he spoke again, "If you're worried about it maybe you should talk to Bill. He's easy to talk to about things and he was new to the marriage thing a few years ago. I think you've already talked to dad about it. If you want facts and practicality, I'd ask Percy."
"I'd get no facts from Percy, according to Hermione, he's besotted with Audrey."
Charlie put his coffee on the table and leaned closer, "Is there a story to go with that statement? I miss a lot of the funny stuff with you lot when I'm in Romania."
"No, Hermione and Audrey hang out occasionally to work on papers, drink coffee and talk. I see Percy and Audrey a lot."
"Busy with the Victoire."
Ron gave him a blank look.
"Okay, he might not give you the advice you need, but you really need to talk to dad about this. You'll feel better about it all."
"Well, what's you're opinion?"
Merlin's pants, why was it always him?
"Um… You bicker enough, so you'll never be able hold a grudge for years about anything because you'll immediately clear the air."
"Honestly, I think you and Hermione are going to do really well together. You balance each other out." Charlie shrugged, "I don't know much about the relationship thing, but I think you both have what you need to make it work out in the long-term."
"Talk to dad."
There was a silence at the table in Shell Cottage. The bride-to-be's brothers were sitting and staring into their glasses of fire whiskey, they had been at Shell Cottage for about three hours drinking and talking about their memories of growing up with Ginny and now were talking about her wedding. Except for George who was busy working on some sort of explosive party hat that he wanted to finish in time for the wedding.
"Our baby sister is getting married." Bill started before taking another drink.
"I'm a little worried." Percy added as he charms some ice into his glass.
"Why should we worry, she's marrying Harry Potter," Charlie grinned as he downed the rest of his glass. "Nice bloke."
"Yeah, he is," Ron propped his head on his hand thoughtfully, "How many people have tried to kill Harry again?"
"Good point." Charlie replied as a collective sigh overcame the men at the table.
George tossed the completed hat into a box nearby and took a drink. "Cheer up everyone! We're not losing her forever. Just until the end of the honeymoon."
"They'll be gone a month George, do you know how much trouble Harry gets into when none of us are around to watch him?" Ron waved his glass of whiskey around to make his point and splashed some on Percy in his excitement.
"Thanks Ron, I did need a refill," Percy waved his wand and dried the whiskey from his trousers.
"He might find another dark wizard or something," Ron finished his thought and his brothers began to laugh. "Then he takes me and Hermione camping again!" Ron finished his glass of whiskey and slammed it on the table. "You know what, Hermione and I have talked about this and we are happy to share custody of Harry with Ginny. Hermione's even got the paperwork ready and we're going to give it to her at the wedding."
Bill laughed, "Does Harry know about this?"
"Not yet, it's a surprise."
At the moment, one of George's party hats exploded and brought the conversation to a sudden end and brought up the subject of what kinds of wards they could use to keep the reporters out of Harry and Ginny's wedding.
Much to his mother's worry, George seemed well on his way to a lifelong bachelorhood like Charlie. Only with a good friend named Angelina Johnson, who spent a lot of time at his flat. In his bed.
In fact, the results of all of that quality time had finally been what pushed George to propose. So now at eight months pregnant Angelina Johnson was about to become Angelina Weasley on an early December evening in a local church near where her family lived.
Charlie noted how the bride's mother was crying in joy, the matron of honor Katie Wood was a little misty-eyed as well, but more from the lack of sleep from being pregnant herself. Her husband Oliver was holding a camera and taking pictures to give to George and Angelina later.
Percy was acting as the best man and was holding onto the rings for dear life while stealing an occasional glance at Audrey who was sitting next to Charlie, little Molly was sitting with her grandmother and her Aunt Ginny who was playing with her hair in the row behind them.
George moved to stand at the alter and exchanged a few quiet words with Percy before the music started and the flower girls came down the aisle. Victoire and Dominique were spreading flower petals and sat down with their mother when they made it to the end of the aisle and into Fleur's arms. Then Angelina strolled confidently down the aisle on her father's arm.
George looked like he had been struck by lightning and his mouth hung open for a second before he regained his senses and pressed the flower on his lapel to have it play a whistling version of the bridal march.
Angelina gave George a saucy wink and he shook her father's hand, and took Angelina's hands while the binder from the Ministry began his speech.
"May I have the rings, please?" The old man asked Percy, who took them out of his pocket and handed them to the speaker.
Then Angelina doubled over and grabbed her belly with a noise of pain. The guests jumped up with a unified gasp. George's mouth opened and closed a couple of times as he helped Angelina sit down and the mother of the bride ran up to her daughter. While Katie knelt down next to her, with considerable effort.
"You're not in labor are you?" Angelina's mother asked, her voice slightly panicked.
"No, the baby just kicked me in the ribs." She laughed and reached out for George to help her up, he was quick to do so and put his arm around her shoulders. Percy helped Katie back to her feet. "Ready to try again?"
"Always my dear."
The rest of the wedding went off without any other surprises, much to everyone's relief.
Charlie was glad that this was the quietest Weasley family wedding he had attended. There were no reporters, like at Harry and Ginny's wedding. And unlike Ron and Hermione's wedding, Charlie did not walk in on the bride and groom in a broom closet snogging like hormonal teenagers. No Death Eaters to fight like at Bill and Fleur's wedding. Also there was no need to distract his mother from yelling at Percy's father-in-law or at George for keeping secrets.
So while George and Ron set off fireworks to celebrate George and Angelina's successful wedding, Charlie realized something.
He never felt the need to marry; Charlie just never had that need for constant companionship. Or sex. He just could never think about people of either gender that way. In a way, this freed him from several social problems, like dating and all that went into that. Though it was difficult to explain to his mum why he would just shrug when she mentioned she met a nice young witch or wizard he might like to meet at the next family party.
He did not want to explain that to his mum because those nice people she tried to introduce him to would tended to become good pen-friends when he went back to Romania.
Charlie would never marry, or feel any inclination to start a relationship and he was fine with it. He had plenty of friends and was content to be the fun, bachelor uncle for his nieces and nephews when the time came.
Marriage was not for everyone.
Relationships could be complicated.
Besides, when he got annoyed with people asking if he was seeing anyone, he liked to tell them he was in a very long-term relationship with Norberta.
A real dragon of a woman.
AN: I've been gone awhile, but I'm coming back. I just finished my Bachelor's degree and I am working as an English teacher in South Korea until February, (If anyone has any questions about this send me a PM and I'll be glad to answer any questions you have about it). I'm hoping to go back to school for my master's in about a year (2018-2019 possibly), because then I can get FAFSA without my parents income and I'll have my own tax history to get a loan. I might go overseas to do this to ease the cost because the U.S. educational system sucks and scholarships do exist.
I have time to write again, and edit some of the fics I've posted previously and get back into writing. I watched my personal life hit the fan and I just stopped writing for a very long time. I missed it and I've got another one-shot in the works.
I headcanon Charlie as asexual.