I do not own Marvel or Supernatural or Percy Jackson

I feel like this story calls for a warning: This is crazy. It started out as a simple Avengers fic, then I added Supernatural. Then I went 'What the Hell' and added Percy Jackson. I even imply Harry Potter. It was written purely for the laughs.

Co-Authored by NightmareHunter676

What is it with people throwing away their lives?! People will sell their soul for anything! I've dragged down people who wanted Money, Love, a couple more inches, The cure to some disease they have. Hello! It's all pointless! You can't take money with you to hell! Also, for all of those you made a deal to get rid of your own life threatening disease, you just chose hell ten years from now versus Heaven today! I think you made the perfectly wrong choice!

"Sic 'em, boy!" Lilith calls out to me. Why do I have to listen to this bitch? Oh, yeah! That's right! She's forcing me to work for her. Could the stupid demon at least bother to realize that I am a girl? Crowley, for goodness' (evilness?) sake has the common courtesy to remember his hellhounds' gender! Just because the rest of my kind are stupid doesn't mean I'm stupid! I roll my eyes at her, as she pushes the salt out of my way.

I attack the man whose number's up. Bleh! Most Hounds love the taste of human, but me? Ever since I ate a burger this one man dropped, it has been all I've craved. One question though...Who eats a burger when they know they are about to die? Eh, to be fair it was in a burger shop. I pull the soul out from the man's chest and drag it down into hell. You would be surprised how much you can learn about someone by having their soul in your mouth.

This one gave his soul to revive his brother, and only took a year in return. I kind of feel bad for the guy, he is a righteous man. Alastair is not going to be kind to him. He is also Michael's vessel? Nope. I do not envy him at all. Well, with all of this happening that means the apocalypse is just around the corner. I wonder how many people will make deals for safety during the chaos. To make sure their loved ones stay safe.

The thought of how many more souls I will have to drag down makes me want to puke. I hate dragging people down. Why are you looking at me like that? So what, I'm a Hellhound that doesn't like to see people hurt. If Vampires can hate killing people then so can I! If my life wasn't being threatened I would just quit...Why can't I just quit? If Lilith finds me she will most likely kill me, but so what? So would a hunter eventually, if I keep dragging people down. They seem to make more deals than regular people do. One of them will get me eventually. That's it, I am going to quit! I've hated this job for awhile anyway.

I leave this man's soul on the rack. The guy is awake, "Don't say yes to Alastair! Give me time and I will send help!" I tell the man. I have no idea who he is, but I know if he says yes and starts torturing people down here, the apocalypse will start and the entire world will go to hell. (There has to be a better phrase for that.) I bound right back up to the surface. I am supposed to be stalking my next soul, they won't notice I am gone for another few days.

So I decide to do something even more stupid, I pray. "Hey, Michael, Gabriel, Raphael, God, and any angel that will listen! I know it is weird getting prayed to by a Hellhound but I need to warn you. I was just ordered to drag down a man, only after did I discover he is Michael's vessel. I think Lilith is planning on using him to break the first seal. If you don't believe me, whatever, just don't say I didn't warn you!"

So I wasn't exactly polite, it's not what I am known for. I then travel the world. Bouncing from city to city, town to town, immediately running whenever I smelled even a hint of a demon, Hellhound, or demon deal. I know I most likely have Lilith on my trail, so it's best not to tempt fate. After the first month I learned how to take a human form. Apparently, if I was born a human I would be a brunette with red eyes. That has scared quite a few people.

Some HellHounds, very few, are blessed with a gift the others don't have. Actually, it's just a couple generations of us, the first two. In the beginning we were made from the fires of hell, so we could control the fire. Then some of my idiotic siblings started bonding with ordinary mutts. The half breeds still came and worked for hell, they just lost the fire gift and any semblance of intelligence my siblings ever had.

I'm from the second generation, pure breed, thank god...We really should find better phrases for these things. Anyway, I have the control over fire. I haven't used it in awhile though. How old am I this year? I lost count, hell kind of screws up your sense of time, I think it's in the six millions… I'll figure it out one day. All I know is that I'm old enough to have dragged King Uther Pendragon into hell. How do you think he got the first dragon sword? You need to get one to kill one but you need to kill one to get one!

I continue to travel. I became a hunter, and in my opinion a good one. Burning bones is really simple when you can control fire. Wendigos are also really simple, I just light them up. Most monsters out there are weak to silver, I'm one of the lucky ones with iron. I don't have to use iron very often, so I don't have to worry about the enemy using my own weapon against me.

I am attracted to one town because the attacks are absolutely bizarre. As far as I could tell there was no pattern to the victims and they all died in different ways. All of them extremely poetic. Animal abuser gets attacked by some sort of animal. The town's local prankster is currently in a psych ward, claiming he was nearly killed by a clown. I am able to tell what it is the moment I get into town. Archangels have a very noticeable energy signature.

I had planned on turning right around. If an archangel wants to kill people then let 'em. Second generation HellHounds may be powerful, but I got nothing on Archangels. My plan is thrown right out the window when said Archangel suddenly shows up in the passenger seat of the car I stole. "You're a long way from home." The man drawls, popping a skittle into his mouth.

I shrug my shoulders, shaking off the fact an Archangel just appeared out of nowhere- weirder things have happened in the past several centuries, "So are you- Archangels don't really come down here very often anymore." I point out. For a guy that can smite me in a second, he is really laid back. "I haven't been upstairs in years. Trickster is a much more entertaining job than messenger." He shrugs, finishing off his bag of skittles.

"Gabriel, huh?" I ask. Gabriel is the only Archangel that is known for carrying messages. "I prefer Loki. Now tell me, why aren't you dragging people down to hell? Hell Hounds aren't known for living alongside the humans." He counters.

You know, this is probably the most entertaining conversation I've had in years. Lilith isn't the type for Pleasant conversations. It's more like 'do this', 'now do that', 'did I say you could take a break?' "Like you, I didn't like the job. So, I quit." I respond, keeping my eyes on the road. I need to find a place to stay and then find another hunt. "You're that Hound that prayed to all of us a couple weeks ago! The apocalypse is nigh!" Gabriel exclaims when he realizes it, using an over dramatic tone to describe my message.

I roll my eyes, "I got red in my ledger. I want to wipe it out. Not like you care, I just found you killing innocent people." I say bitterly. "I wouldn't say they're innocent people, I went after them because they were all dicks." He defends. I nod half heartedly… If he says so.

"So why does a hell puppy want to help?" He asks, snapping up some gummy bears. No I do not want to ask for a gummy bear. I do not want to ask for a gummy bear. I let out a sigh, "I'm one of the first 'Hell Puppies', I've been alive for quite awhile, nothing on you but- Awhile. I dragged King George III into hell, I've watched as humanity evolved. I've gotten tired of also watching them throw everything away for stupid things like money or love." I explain. "Also, can I have a gummy bear?" Dammit.

Gabriel whistles, "That's too sentimental for me! You do realize by doing this demons will be trying to kill you right? Of course you do, you've worked with them for most of your existence." Gabe asks, handing me a gummy bear. I shrug my shoulders, "It's killed by demons for doing the right thing or killed by hunters for dragging people down. My life is a lose-lose scenario, no way out, but it doesn't hurt to try." I point out. There is also that little complication...

Gabriel goes silent for a second, he then snaps his fingers again and a random string of numbers pops into my head, 202-555-0111. "There, call me if you ever need any help, or you just want to make your day a bit more awesome." He says. "Why would you want to help me?" I ask confused: I'm a hell hound, the last thing an Archangel would want to be even in the same room with.

"Because I want to out of the goodness of my heart. Well, not entirely. A little while ago I ran into some hunters. The same one that you dragged down not too long ago, actually. I trapped the one not going to hell in an alternate reality. A Groundhog-day style time loop where he had to watch his brother die every single day. It was supposed to teach him that trying to stop his brother from going to hell was impossible, but the moose never gave up." Gabe explains.

"Two things; One, that is an incredibly mean way of teaching someone a lesson, Two, what does this have to do with why you want to help me?" I say. The Angel/God to my right grumbles under his breath before continuing, "No way out, but it doesn't hurt to try... I may or may not have developed a soft spot for that particular hunter and you remind me of him." He responds. An angel with a soft spot for a hunter, well, you don't see that everyday.

For a trickster, he is acting pretty serious, "Now! Miss. I-want-to-help-people-even-though-it-isn't-my-job. You really want to do the impossible and make it up for dragging people into hell?" He asks, regaining the sass I expected him to have. "Yup."

"Then why don't you drag this one guy out of his hell." He says cryptically. With another snap of his fingers I am no longer in 'my' car driving through Montana. I am tumbling down the side of a sand dune. It doesn't hurt, but the unexpected transition pulls a high-pitched sound from my lungs that I am not exactly proud of.

I roll to a stop, Where the hell did Gabriel send me? There has to be better ways to say that. Gabriel! A little warning would be nice next time! I shout in my mind, knowing that he can hear me. I stand up and look around at where I am. This entire valley is in between sand dunes. So I am in some sort of desert.

The valley is also filled to the brim with weapons, missiles, guns, bombs, you name it, it is here. On the side of each and every crate is one word- Stark. So I am in a military base in a desert. The men around me all have their guns pointed at me, yelling in an unknown language.

I never bothered to learn most languages, most demons speak English. "Ah...I don't understand...English?" I say putting my hands up, trying to get them not to shoot. Guns aren't going to hurt me, but bullet proof women tend to get people's attention. I am not going to just light them on fire either.

Why would Gabriel send me here? 'Drag this one guy out of his hell.' So is there someone being held captive here? Being tortured for something? If that's true I can't just turn around and leave, not saving someone is the same thing as being the one to hurt them.

A man steps in front of everybody else, speaking English, rather clumsy English but English all the same. "Who are you? Why are you here?" He asks. "My name is Candace, as for why I am here, I don't know where 'here' is." I respond keeping my hands up.

I take another brief glance around, I may not be a genius level IQ, but I'm not stupid, like my nieces and nephews. Stark is an American weapons manufacturer, these uniforms are not American, They are either terrorists or thieves. And Stark Industries has a traitor selling weapons to people that shouldn't have them.

"Well, unfortunately for you dear, now that you have seen this place, you have to die." The man says drawing his weapon. Within half a second I drop down to the ground and use my powers to cause six of the men around me to spontaneously combust into flames. Not the cleanest way to kill someone but, it works. It takes longer to kill demons, I guess humans are just super fragile. I was going for all of them! Why did I only get six?!

It must be because I haven't used my fire in forever, it's gotten weaker from under use. I bounce up to try again and a single shot hangs in the air. The bullet goes straight into my shoulder and starts to burn through my skin. Why does his gun fire Iron bullets?! Iron bullets haven't been around since the cannon went out of style!

While I am shocked from being shot the man who spoke English hits me upside the head with a crowbar, unfortunately made of iron. I am not knocked out but it certainly knocked me down and immobilized me for a second.

While I am down he handcuffs me. What is it with them and having iron freakin everything?! The man drags me into a cave, through various tunnels and doors. "What happened to killing me, huh?" I ask sassily. That's what I do- if something gets too serious for me, sass and sarcasm.

He literally throws me through another door, he shouts something in whatever language that is and closes the iron door behind him. Great, an Iron door, that is going to be fun. I roll over trying to keep pressure off of my shoulder.

"What did he say?" A voice ask behind me, I shift so I can see what is going on, there are two men, one of them has a car battery attached to his chest. What? I carefully rub my eyes and look again, yup this man has a car battery attached to his chest.

"He wants us to find a way to control her." The other man said, the one without the battery. Oh, so he basically wants these two humans to find a way to do something demons could not, Lilith tried but still wasn't able to keep me on a leash. Dream big I guess. "Why would he want to control some random chick?" Battery asks. I clumsily get to my feet. "You could, I don't know, ask her?" I say, wobbling over to the table where they are building...something.

They just then notice I've been shot. "You okay?" No battery asks. "I'm absolutely wonderful! It's not like I have a bullet in my arm and I'm allergic to iron! Who even makes Iron bullets? I thought they were all made of copper." I say with as much sass as possible. Okay, so allergic may not have been the right term, more like Iron disintegrates my being, but close enough.

Battery looks kind of sheepish, "Iron is a heavier metal, so while it would drastically decrease the range, it would increase the penetration. I only made one case of bullets though." He says, moving to look at the wound. Oh, so he is a decent person, just hides it under miles upon miles of sass, sarcasm and 'I don't give a shit.'

"Would you mind pulling the darn thing out?!" I ask. No Battery steps forward with a pair of iron pliers. "Oh, you have to be kidding me! Iron actually burns my skin!" I complain, letting him adjust to that he can easily reach the wound.

He lets the pliers touch my skin and instantly understands what I meant. The iron left a burn mark where it touched me. "If iron burns your skin, and you have a iron bullet in your shoulder..." Battery trails off.

"Yeah, I know, and it hurts like hell, just get it out!" I say mentally preparing for what is to come. Battery holds my shoulder still while no-Battery plunges the pliers of agonizing pain into the bullet wound. I really should learn their names.

After a couple of seconds he is able to pull the bullet out. Battery let's go of my arm, "You didn't even whimper, wince or… anything." He says shocked. I just shrug my shoulder, ignoring the pain that is already starting to fade. "I've been to hell and back, this isn't the worst I've gone through." I say. The worst I've gone through would be a tie between Lilith in a bad mood and those decades I spent in purgatory. Hell hounds are hated by other monsters just as much as they are by hunters. Actually, both of them are practically the same thing.

Battery breaks my handcuffs "Now you going to tell me your names or am I going to keep referring to you two as Battery and No Battery in my head?" I ask sarcastically, ripping a piece of my jeans with my claws and taping it to my shoulder with some duct tape they have lying around.

"I'm Tony Stark, you may have heard of me, the devilishly handsome, unbelievably charming multi-billionaire?" Battery says. Well, he isn't prideful at all, is he? Devilishly handsome is quite a stretch- Grandad comes to you in the form of the person you desire most. "I've heard of you, but most people refer to you as the Egotistical Jerk." I shoot right back, I knew I recognized him from somewhere though.

"And you?" I ask, turning towards no Battery. "Yinsen." He responds, holding his hand out to me. I shake his hand with a smile, "Nice to meet you Yinsen, I'm Candace Armina." I say. Stark shakes off his shock before getting back to business, "Want to tell us why these guys want us to find a way to 'control' you?" He asks, finger quoting the word control.

I shrug my shoulders, can't hurt to tell the truth. I hold one hand in front of me and let a single flame dance across my palm, "I'm guessing it is because I made a mistake and let them see my abilities. Now they want to control me so they have a fireproof woman on their side." I say, closing my fist, effectively putting out the fire.

"Yup, being locked in this room for so long has started to make me go crazy!" Stark says, holding his head in his hands. I just shrug my shoulders, it's probably best for them to believe they are just going crazy. It's better than telling them Ghost, Demons, and Hell Hounds exist. If they ask I'm going to tell them the truth though, if I am trying to redeem myself for dragging souls into hell, lying is the worst way to go about it.

Yinsen doesn't look that shocked I can control fire, more curious than anything else. "How did you get these powers?" He asks. "I was born with them." I respond. Well, I'm not lying. "Are you a mutant?" Oh, he isn't going to stop is he? "No, I'm not a mutant."

"Then what are you?" Well, there is no way out of this one. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you..." I say, trying to convince him not to push any further. Knowing Hell and Heaven exist doesn't exactly ease the mind.

"Try me."

I let out a long sigh, "I'm a Hell Hound."