By: Taya Johnston (Tjsmklvr)
Synopsis: An extended tag for Lost and Found
Timeframe: Season 1, Episode 12
Disclaimer: Scarecrow and Mrs. King and its characters belong to Warner Brothers, CBS, and Shoot the Moon Enterprises. No infringement is intended. This story was written for entertainment purposes only. Please do not redistribute or reproduce without my written permission.
Author Note: Special thanks to my amazing beta team. They not only enhance my stories, but they help me through even the worst writer's block. Credit to Eugenie Ross-Leming and Brad Buckner for writing the episode Lost and Found. Excerpts from that episode are contained within this story.
She leaned in wondering what his epiphany might be.
"It's over!" he yelled at the top of his lungs to no one and everyone all at the same time.
She smiled affectionately up at him, warmth suddenly surrounding her, despite the crisp wind whipping at her face. She welcomed his arm as it wrapped around her and he guided her out of the yard that held the rotted out souls of vehicles long forgotten.
"Amanda, do you have to get home right away?" The hopeful look in his eyes told her what he'd hoped her answer would be and she found she couldn't disappoint him.
"Not really, Lee. Did you need something?" she inquired.
"I just thought . . . well, this case was . . ."
"Yeah, it was at that." She laughed trying to help him along.
"Well, I was wondering if you'd like to join me for a quick drink? You know, celebrate a bit." He glanced around nervously waiting for her response.
Suddenly, she remembered this wasn't the first time he had asked her to join him for a drink after wrapping up a case. It was during their initial case together. They had narrowly escaped Bobby Bouchard and his goons thanks to a perfectly placed wrecking ball. At the time, she hadn't even considered that he needed to unwind after the harrowing case, but now knowing him a little better, she realized he needed to talk. "Sure, that sounds great, Lee." Judging by his smile, this pleased him very much. She couldn't help returning the sweet smile and walked with him to their cars. "I'll just follow you," she said nodding toward his vehicle.
"Would you like another glass of wine?" He eyed her closely.
They had been at the restaurant for the past thirty minutes nursing their drinks. She had rambled on about her boys and her mother in an attempt to get him to relax. As it was, he was still quite guarded. He clearly had something to get off his chest and hadn't summoned the courage to say it out loud. "That'd be great." She smiled warmly up at him.
She watched him as he got their waiter's attention to bring another round of drinks. He was definitely agitated. Shouldn't he feel relief? He had said it was over. What else was bothering him?
Once their drinks arrived she took a gulp of the crisp white wine and dove right in. "Lee, what's bothering you?"
"What? What do you mean?" He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes.
"Clearly something is still bothering you. I know this must have been a tough case for you. Maybe . . ." she glanced up and bit her lip in resolve. "Maybe there's some unresolved feelings—"
"A-man-da! I'm fine." He laughed nervously and took a swig of his scotch.
"Oh, I know. You're an intelligence operative," she whispered conspiratorially. "I get that you aren't supposed to have any feelings, but the woman you love or at least loved at one point in your life, was thought to be dead one minute, then showed up out of nowhere the next. Then she just tried to kill you!" She sighed, not wanting to think about what would have happened if she hadn't removed the bullets from Eva's gun.
Lee let out a deep sigh and then looked toward the ceiling before swallowing another deep pull of the amber liquid.
Sensing how uncomfortable he was, Amanda rushed to apologize for pushing him too hard to open up. "I'm sorry, Lee. I didn't mean to push. I just –"
"No. Don't apologize. I . . . you're right. I do need to get this off my chest."
Not wanting to distract him from opening up, she hesitated to respond. Instead, she nodded in encouragement.
"All this time . . . I thought she loved me but needed to think of her future and that's why she chose Angelo over me. I mean, what kind of life could I give her?" He shrugged and paused to take a sip of his scotch. "Life in intelligence isn't really cut out for family life. I know that and I'm okay with it. But she didn't love either one of us." He sobered. "We were both just a job to her."
"Oh, Lee." She sighed, shaking her head sadly.
"All this time I thought she picked him over me because I wasn't . . . good enough for her."
"You're worth more than you'll ever know, Lee. You're enough." She stated forcefully trying to get him to understand.
"Yeah," he snorted.
She squeezed his forearm, demanding that he look her in the eyes, and when he did, she repeated, "You ARE enough," staring at him until he acknowledged her statement.
He silently nodded, finally starting to believe it.