Zootopia 2 The Sequel to the Movie
AN: Please, please, please...don't take this seriously. Some of my friends wanted me to write a 'crack' Zootopia story after hearing about "Blick", and I agreed to write it. That is what spawned this. This is about the worst writing I've ever, ever, ever, done and I shudder upon looking at it. I hope you do as well.
It is simply a compilation of every single meme and trope I could find out there about Zootopia. Everything from Jack Savage, to Judy repeatedly punching Nick, to love triangles and more. See how many you can find or recognize. ;)
So with that warning and caution, enjoy this crack story; Zootopia 2: The Sequel to the Movie
The restaurant doors opened, revealing a female grey rabbit in a police uniform, along with a red fox in a police uniform.
"Hey Nick and Judy!" said a random gazelle sitting in the cafe. "You guys are awesome!"
"Why thank you," Judy stated, blushing deeply at the compliment. Nick growled at the male antelope, baring his teeth at the prey animal while hissing, 'She's mine."
"I hate you guys!" cried a voice from the opposite end of the restaurant. The two cops turned and were shocked to see a white bunny with black stripes across his cheeks and ears.
"Jack Savage?" Judy gasped. "My ex-boyfriend."
Nick nodded. "Jack Savage."
Judy and Nick's anger was kindled against the rabbit for some reason. Judy karate chopped through the nearest table, breaking it in half and causing it to explode into splinters, killing several nearby rams, who unbeknownst to her, where planning an evil diabolical conspiracy to kill Nick because he was a fox.
"Nooooooooooooo!" screamed Judy, her anger so hot it lit the nearby table on fire. "Why are you here Jack! To split us up in some cliche love triangle?"
The owner of the restaurant came out, "What's going on!" the elephant trumpeted, as that is what elephants do. "Oh, Nick and Judy, you guys are amazing. Here, I'll clean up the mess."
"Thank you," Nick stated, before making out with Judy while he stared into her amethyst eyes, and her into his emerald ones, to the cheers of nearby mammals and the frustration of Jack, whose rage was so much he exploded, sending fluffy bits of bunny across the cafe.
Just then, Judy's phone rang. "Hello," Judy stated into the phone, as she saw her parents on the screen. "Oh hey, it's my parents" she said excitedly, putting it on speaker in the crowded restaurant so that anyone could hear what her parents said.
"Jude the Dude," her father stated angrily. "How dare you kiss that fox! You know your parents hate foxes, even though we work with one!"
"Shut up!" Judy yelled, "I love Nick and he loves me, you anti-speciest bigots who are suddenly that way even though there is no context for it!"
"Don't make us come to Zootopia to take you away from your stupid dreams, Jude the Dude!" Bonnie warned.
"Fine, I hate you and your overtly overt speciesm! I'm no longer your daughter, even though biologically I am!" Judy yelled, throwing her phone to the ground, causing it to turn off, then die, just like her dreams of having kits when she decided she loved Nick. She loved his amazing emerald eyes, his amazing fur, his amazing tail, and his amazing smirk. Everything was amazing in its amazingness about him.
"That's my Judy," Nick stated, gaining Judy's attention instantly as he used her first name. The fox thought about everything that Judy did for him. She made him think he was worth it, and made him a better fox. He had been in a deep depression since his parents were tragically murdered when he was nine, his house burnt down, his friends leaving him, and becoming an outcast in life. She brought him out of it though, which is why he loved her, and her amethyst eyes.
"Oh Nick," she blubbered, crying so much that they formed a pool of water around her feet. Again she kissed Nick passionately with passion, as they tore at each other's close, not caring, apparently for being in a restaurant and a public place.
Just then the door burst open and another ram holding two machine guns came through.
"You two are going to die!" he shouted, before shooting up the restaurant, bullets whizzing everywhere.
"Judy no!" Nick yelled, pushing Judy out of the way before getting shot fifty times in the chest. Judy pulled out a handgun bigger than herself from her belt and shot the ram in the head one time, causing it to explode and the ram to die, but not before cursing Judy and Nick out.
"No! Nick!" the bunny cried, hopping over to Nick's side, as that is how rabbits move, they hop. The fox was absolutely covered in blood, and it was filling the restaurant with nearly an inch of it on the floor so that customers had to wade through it to help the rabbit and fox officers.
An ambulance pulled up, even though nobody had yet to call 911, and loaded Nick inside. Judy went to follow, but tripped over the ram's body, which nobody cleaned up, and hit her head on the soft carpet, knocking herself out.
"I have you now," laughed an ominous voice, as the rabbit was picked up and carried away, unnoticed from the dozens of witnesses and cops surrounding the cafe.
Judy woke later, tied to a chair in a dimly lit room. "Where am I?" she asks for plot exposition purposes, even though without night vision, she can't see a thing.
"You are my prisoner, duh," came a voice from the darkness. A small figure approached and Judy gasped aloud. "Bellwether! How did you escape prison?"
The ewe raised her hoof, then looked at her henchmen. "How did we Kromp?"
The larger ram shrugged his shoulders. "You got me, by all accounts it doesn't make sense."
"Hey, I know that line!" Judy exclaimed. "But don't think because you are making random references to movies that I won't break free and arrest you!" Judy said this just as her paws were freed from her bindings.
"You can't escape!" Bellwether laughed with a hearty laugh for being such a small mammal. "I have made sure that Nick will find you and we'll kill you both at the same time in revenge for what you did, and then I will become mayor again and rule Zootopia!"
Judy gasped, then cried. "No, not Nick!"
"Then you must join me, and we will rule Zootopia together as ewe and bunny. Otherwise I'll kill your fox and his foxy charm!"
Judy gasped at the diabolicalness of the plot. How could she defeat Bellwether without Nick?
"Ok, I will join you," cried Judy. "To save Nick, who is probably already dead since he was shot 50 times, but I believe he is still alive!"
"Great, now you will go and kill Nick, or I will kill him, mwaahahaha."
"That makes no sense," Judy exclaimed, grabbing the gun offered her from the ewe. "But I'll kill Nick to save him." Judy left the building to go to a hospital to find and kill Nick.
Nick awoke in the hospital, feeling good as new while surveying the holes riddling his chest. He hopped out of bed, "Where's Judy?" he asked, while signing out of the hospital mere hours after being shot 50 times.
"She's being held hostage," Bogo snorted, as that is what buffalo's do, and appearing out of nowhere for plot sake.
"Oh no!" Nick cried, feeling a horrible sense of deja vu back to his childhood, and how his mother was held ransom until his broke father could pay for her release. Due to them being poor and destitute, as all foxes ever living had been, they had killed his mother and his father committed suicide, leaving him on the streets at the age of 10 to fend for himself.
Nick came back to the present, glaring hard at the Chief of Police. "I'm going to get her back."
"No you're not," Bogo stated. "Even though I can't think of a reason for you not to go and help the overworked police department to find her." The buffalo walked away, but turned. "One more thing, you and Hopps are detectives now. I just felt like giving you a raise."
"That's very kind of you sir," Nick stated, "Didn't know you had emotions."
"Shut your tiny mouth now!" Bogo roared, before slamming the hospital door shut so hard that it broke the door, and the wall.
"Why are you yelling at us, sir, and why would you say we have tiny mouths?"
"Because!" Bogo bellowed. "It's a line that reminds people of the movie and I have to use it, so let it go!"
"That makes sense," Nick observed observidly. "I will find Judy and save her."
Nick exited the ZPD, only to come face to face with Judy pointing a gun at him outside. "Judy, you're alive!"
"Yes," she cried, a puddle of tears around her. "But I have to kill you to save you since Bellwether kidnapped me and told me to do this."
"But you're free now," Nick stated.
"No I'm not," Judy stated flatly and with no emotions, while punching Nick in his arm. She pointed to at least a dozen rams on rooftops around them, all pointing sniper rifles at them.
"That makes no sense," Nick said. "I would have thought they would have just shot us since they clearly have the advantage and this whole plan makes no sense."
"I know, right?" Judy stated. "I'm sorry Nick. I'm going to have to kill you now."
Judy squeezed the trigger, just as a flash of light erupted around them. A strange mammal appeared, that was a human, but they didn't know that as they didn't know what a human was, so everyone stared in shock at the figure. Then the figure turned into a fox, for some reason, grinning as he looked at his now totally toned figure that looked exactly like Nick.
"Wow, he's hot, Nick." Judy stated. Nick growled in response, jealously making him turn savage. Nick leapt at the figure, only to have the Non-Nick Nick jump out of the way at an incredible speed.
"Oh hey Judy and Nick, I'm Steve a human," the non-human fox replied.
"Oh, that makes sense," Nick stated with a smirk, now no longer savage for plot reasons. "Want to help us get rid of the snipers?"
"Of course!" the fox-human named Steve stated, pulling two guns from his pockets that weren't there a moment before. With a speed greater than both Judy and Nick put together, the fox-no-longer-human shot each of the rams in one shot each, causing them to all die with how good of a shot he was. Nick and Judy were amazed.
"How did you do that?" Nick and Judy asked at the same time.
"Oh, I was in the special forces and have an IQ of 300, as well as being the top of every class in every police academy ever. I'm basically the epitome of amazing, but quite humble and loveable."
"That makes you awesome!" Judy stated, punching Nick in the arm.
"No, you're amazing Judy," Nick stated with a smirk.
"Awww," Judy stated back, again punching Nick's arm.
"And I'll always love you," Nick stated back to her statement and a smirk. "Even if I'm not worthy of you at all."
Nick broke down in tears, crying big tears as he cried. "I'm never worthy of Judy, since how could you ever love me a shifty fox, even though I completely got over that stereotype in the movie and no longer think of myself like that."
"That's true," Judy stated. "I guess I can't love you either because how could you love a dumb hick bunny like me." Judy slapped Nick, "I can't believe I fell for you," and ran off crying.
A random male bunny and female fox appeared next to each of them, consoling the two heroes. The female fox wiped Nick's tears away. "You should be with me, even though we barely just met and you don't let anyone into your life."
The bunny did the same with Judy, so both walked away from each other and spent the night with the other mammals.
That night, both Judy and Nick were making out with the other animals, when they both realized they loved each other.
They fled from their randomly inserted squeezes, finding each other on a random street, even though they didn't know where the other was.
Nick knelt down and pulled a ring from his pocket that wasn't there before. "Judy, will you marry me? I've made a horrible mistake, and will rectify it by asking you to marry me."
"Of course," Judy stated, punching him in the arm. "That has always been the plan right? We'd both hook up with some random mammals before realizing our true feelings for each other, overcoming them through clichés and tropes and forgive each other?"
"True," Steve the non-human-fox stated, suddenly appearing. "I ship you two hard.
"I don't know what that means," Nick stated with a smirk, before kissing Judy passionately with passion that passed all other passionately passion filled kisses. Judy again puched Nick's arm, looking into his emerald colored eyes, not green eyes, but a darker green that looked much more emraldy. Definitely not an aqua, but emerald colored eyes. "I love you, you dumb fox."
The wedding was two weeks later, and every mammal in Zootopia attended. Gazelle provided the music and everyone loved everything about it since it was all perfect.
Even Gideon Grey, who was invited and made a cameo in the wedding as a groomsmammal, even though Nick didn't know him.
"Well ain't this jus' the purdiest sight fur sor' eyez."
"I have no idea what you just said," Finnick stated, looking at the fox who looked like a hillbilly. "But I agree absolutely 100% for shizzle."
All the food at the wedding was either blueberry or carrot flavored with a blueberry carrot cake as big as an elephant being the centerpiece.
All of a sudden, the cake exploded and Bellwether popped out of it. "I'm going to kill you all!" she shouted in a shouting voice. She grabbed several nighthowler guns and began shooting wedding guests.
"No, not July!" Judy gasped in horror as her cousin was being chased by a cougar. Nick stepped in and shot the cougar 15 times, saving July.
"Thank you Nick," Judy said, punching Nick's arm. Together they tranquilized the rest of the savage animals, then both punched Bellwether in her face over 9000 times before she exploded.
"Yay, we won!" Judy exclaimed, punching Nick's arm.
"We did," Nick smirked.
After that, Nick and Judy went home and had 276 hybrid kits together, all looking different from each other, except for one girl bunny who looked exactly like Judy, and one fox that looked exactly like Nick.
Together they were happy.
"I love you, you sly fox," Judy stated, punching Nick's arm while looking into his emerald eyes.
"I love you, my dumb bunny," Nick smirked back, looking into her amethyst eyes. They kissed.
The End, or is it, as a pair of red eyes glared at the couple from the darkness.
AN: So, there it was, *shudders*. Now please, don't make me write a part II. *cries*
Edited to include 50% more emerald and amethyst eyes.