This is just a oneshot about my favorite TV couple Captain Swan. The idea came to me after watching the newest episode and I wanted to share it with all of you! I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!
Disclaimer: I own nothing!
Description: It's a bittersweet day in Storybrooke. Hyde is defeated, but at what cost? It's caused some of our heroes to look back at themselves and question who they are and if a villain can really change for good?
To say the day was long would be a massive understatement Emma thought to herself as she sat behind the wheel of her VW Bug. She held the phone up in front of her on speaker, the act of holding it up to her ear too tiring. Because of this Henry's voice boomed in the small confines of the car. Emma tried to follow along with him, but when the words 'Grandma', 'bow' and 'arrow' all tumble together in the same sentence as 'school' she forces herself to tune back into the conversation.
"What did Snow do?" Emma asks incredulous.
"I just told you Mom." Henry says, she can hear the sigh in his voice even though he tactfully held it in.
"I'm sorry kid." Emma says withholding her own sigh, hating that she made it so obvious she hadn't been following his every word.
"No, it's ok." Henry says quickly reassuring. "I know it was a hard day with Jekyll and Hyde. Are you sure that you don't want me to come home tonight?"
Emma smiles and looks warmly at the phone, how did she get so lucky with this kid? "No Henry, but thank you for offering. I'll be fine. Killian moved in today, so I have him for company."
"I know, but I was hoping we could celebrate his first night in the house. Like we talked about?" Henry says, the disappointment evident in his voice now.
"I know kid and it would've been great, but maybe another night. This is Killian's first home that didn't float on water for a long, long time and he might need some time to get settled. Maybe this weekend?" Emma continues before Henry has a chance to respond. "Besides, I think Regina would like the company tonight." Emma says purposefully keeping her voice light.
All the adults had talked, and agreed, that it was best Henry knew nothing about the new wrinkle in the plan to defeat the Evil Queen. Or the total betrayal of Dr. Jekyll and what that could possibly mean for Regina. As far as Henry knew Hyde was the cause for all the trouble today and that it was due to a double-cross by Gold that had defeated him. And that was the way it was going to stay for everyone of Storybrooke. Emma didn't care in this case that Gold got the credit, he still had plenty of checks in the negative column that no one was bound to forget.
"Yea you're probably right." Henry agrees easily, none the wiser to Emma's thoughts. "Tell Killian welcome home for me!"
"Will do." Emma smiles, happy to hear happiness in his voice as he says those words. "How bout we meet for breakfast at Granny's before school? All of us?"
"Sounds great!" Henry says with more excitement. "I'll tell Mom."
"It's a plan kid." Emma says still smiling. "Now I'm going to go and see if Killian needs any help, you go finish your homework."
"Bye Mom." Henry says and hangs up before Emma can respond.
Now that she's off the phone Emma does releases a long sigh as she pulls her keys from the ignition and climbs out of the car. Looking up at the house the small smile that had been playing on her lips dips a little when she sees that the house looks completely dark. That was strange because Killian had left them at Regina's after they cleaned up the Jekyll and Hyde mess to bring his stuff over, and since dusk had fallen Emma knew from experience the house would be cast in shadows inside with no lights on. Climbing the stairs two at a time Emma reaches the handle and isn't surprised to find it unlocked. She may had given Killian a key, but they both knew that was mostly for symbolism. In a town full of magic, a simple lock wouldn't keep anyone out and to try was just foolish.
"Killian?" Emma calls out, her voice carrying in the empty room. Reaching over she flips the switch and squints as her eyes adjust to the bright light. Looking around the room she relaxes when she sees Killian's jacket draped over the back of one of the kitchen chairs and then grows puzzled when she sees a chest sitting in front of it on the table. Looking out towards the living room she doesn't see any sign of him there and so she wanders towards the stairs. "Killian?" Emma calls up the stairs now. When she hears the sound of footsteps she smiles and makes her way up, forcing herself to ignore the sudden rapid beating of her heart and the fluttering in her stomach. Turning at the top of the stairs she heads towards the bedroom and pauses in the doorway, staring at the back of the man she planned to share her home with.
"Honey, I'm home!" Emma says softly, tongue in cheek, knowing Killian wouldn't get the reference.
"Emma!" Killian says jolting, obviously surprised by her appearance, even though she had been calling his name. Even though he had been standing there in the room, in the house…his mind had been somewhere else. "I didn't hear you." Killian says when he turns around to look at her.
"Killian…?" Emma says confusion clouding her smile now.
"Welcome home." Killian says, his voice sounding flat to his own ears, his eyes roam Emma's face briefly and he can see she noticed as well.
It wasn't the tone that caught Emma's attention so much as the fact that Killian wouldn't even look her in the eye. From the moment he turned around his gaze jumped from her face to the ground and now was resting just past her shoulder. Which wouldn't be totally strange if it was anyone else in the room with her, but this was Killian. A man that made it a point to give his whole, undivided attention to whoever he was having a conversation with. And even if he and Emma were simply standing in silence his eyes would normally rest on her face, as if he was trying to record her every feature, filing it away for future reference.
"You get settled in ok?" Emma asks coming further into the room, looking around, her gaze zeroing in on the open closet. The half she had left empty for him still empty. Her gaze sweeps quickly to the adjoining bathroom and the sink that's just barely visible, none of his belongings are there either. "Killian what's going on?" Emma asks when he stays silent to her question. "Where is all your stuff?" She asks forcing her gaze back to his and feels her heart freeze when Killian still refuses to look her in the eyes when he talks to her.
"Let's go downstairs." Killian says and when Emma doesn't make a move to go first he brushes past her, careful to barely touch her even though she is still partially blocking the doorway. "Are you hungry?" He calls over his shoulder, feeling her eyes following him.
"Killian what's going on?" Emma asks turning and following him out of the room and down the stairs.
"I'm hungry, nothing like a good fight to make a pirate hungry." Killian says in response. Keeping his back to Emma as he goes to the icebox this world called a fridge.
Silently Emma comes up alongside Killian and shuts the fridge with a loud bang, careful to make sure she doesn't hit his face. Because even though she wants to now, she knows she would regret it later. It's the first time since Emma got home that Killian actually looks her in the eye and for the second time since coming home her heart freezes. Because looking back at her isn't the excitement and happiness that had been there just that morning when Killian had left to pack up his things. Instead he looked almost haunted, his eyes quickly flickering away before Emma can see anymore. He turns his back on her again and goes to walk around the table, putting it between them. So now there was not only an emotional distance, but also a physical one, between them.
Emma's mind scrambles to try and figure out what could possibly have changed since that morning that Killian so obviously didn't want to be there or with her. She has to resist the urge to sigh…or cry…wishing that they could just start this day over. Go back to when they were still happy and Killian was moving in. "Killian what's wrong?" Emma asks coming to stand closer to the table, careful to keep it between him since seemed to want the barrier. She hadn't seen Killian like this since she was the Dark One and he had no memories. That was the last, and only, time she can remember that Killian hadn't wanted to be near her.
A long, loaded silence fills the air. Tension rising with every passing minute before Killian finally responds. "Perhaps we've acted a bit hasty here." Killian says gesturing with his good arm out to the room.
"Hasty…?" Emma says confused now. Where was this coming from? Where was the man who just days ago sat with her at that picnic table and talked about putting it all on the line for love? What happened about wanting to live their lives…together…now.
"We've just gotten back from the Underworld and then this whole business with the Untold Stories and all these new, questionable people running around." Killian rambles on.
"Nothing has changed since I asked you to move in with me days ago." Emma says her voice sounding hollow. "Unless…" She says and can't help the small flinch. "Unless your feelings have changed." Emma says her the words causing her throat to constrict. What could possibly have changed, she thought frantically.
Had he learned what she had been keeping from him? That her future was so uncertain? Was he mad that she had kept the truth from him? Hurt? Unwilling to take a risk, knowing that it was most likely going to end up in pain and sacrifice…again.
But no. Emma thought mentally shaking her head.
The look in his eyes hadn't been one of anger or sadness. And if it had been something that she had done Killian wouldn't be avoiding her or her gaze. He would want to confront her head on and work through it. Get her to talk to him. He wouldn't be putting up every barrier possible. Which means it had something to do with him and he was trying to keep her out, to protect her. Because that was what Killian did. He sacrificed himself, his happiness, his everything if he thought it was the best for her and everyone else.
Killian's heart clutched in his chest and he was fighting every instinct in his body to go to Emma, to comfort her. But this was for the best. Surely she would see that and agree in a day or so. He was just making it easier on her and himself by avoiding the whole moving in process, just to have to move back out again when she changed her mind. He kept his gaze down, staring at the chest that he hadn't even had the chance to open earlier when he had brought it over. Almost as soon as he had let himself in the house he had left again to get back to his ship and Belle.
"Nothing has changed Lo…Emma." Killian shakes his head, mentally chastising himself for almost slipping. "I simply have just had time to think things through and think we need to take some more time. Be sure this is what we both want."
"What we both want…" Emma says barely above a whisper before her temper rises and she slams her fist down hard on the table. Causing Killian to raise his gaze to her and this time he holds it. "Of course this is what we both want!" Emma says raising her voice now that she has his undivided attention. "We have crossed worlds, gone to the underworld, and come back from the dead for each other. I have almost lost you so many times I can't keep count anymore, and nothing is going to change that." Emma says her voice slowly lowering and her eyes losing their heat. "Now why won't you tell me what is going on so we can work through it together like we're supposed to?" Emma says almost shocked with how healthy and mature that sounded…damn Dr. Hopper, he was actually helping!
Killian listened to everything Emma had to say and felt his heart, which had been in a vice since earlier that day loosened in his chest. His Emma had really come a long way since they had first met and started down this road together. "Don't you get it Emma?" Killian says, knowing he owed it to her to be honest. And after they had this one, final conversation she would see and he could go back to his ship and drink himself to sleep.
"No I obviously don't Killian so why don't you explain it to me?"
"Don't call me that." He says shaking his head. "Not today at least."
"Why not?" Emma says, but her mind quickly flashes back to just a few minutes before when she had followed him into the kitchen. She remembers his words, 'nothing like a good fight to make a pirate hungry'. "Killian…" Emma says with newfound understanding.
"Don't call me that. Today I was Hook."
"No." Emma says forcefully, shaking her head to punctuate the word.
"I murdered Jekyll!" Killian raises his voice, arms thrown in the air.
"You had no choice!" Emma shakes her head again, surprised by how upset he truly was by today's events. He had seemed so calm earlier on the ship and later at Regina's. She never would've guessed that this had been eating away at him. "He was going to kill Belle." Emma says rushing around the table and grabbing hold of his arm when he tries to turn away from her again. "You saved her life!"
"I didn't have to use such force." Killian says in disgust. "Jekyll didn't have near the experience fighting as I. I could've subdued him and let Regina take care of him…instead I was a pirate and he met the same fate as many men who dared to fight me on that ship." Killian says, the fight earlier flashing in his mind.
"I wasn't there Killian, but Belle told me everything. You did what you had to do." Emma shakes Killian gently. "Jekyll had that wand of his, he surely would've killed you had he gotten the chance. He killed an innocent woman before according to Gold. Had you not done what you did, you and Belle might not be here now." Emma says and forces herself to avoid the slice of fear that runs down her spine at that thought. She could've lost him today and it just hit her right then, but she didn't have time to dwell on it.
"I hear what you're saying Emma and I understand that you want to believe it. Even I want to believe that I have changed, but if today has proven anything it's that we can't change who we are."
Emma knows where he's going with this and she grits her teeth, because this will be the second time today that she has had to have this conversation and she hates it. "Killian…No." She shakes her head firmly.
"Jekyll tried to split himself and created Hyde, but he never could truly escape the man he was inside. Regina is struggling with a similar fate right now dealing with the Evil Queen. And I…I have obviously not put my pirating ways and murdering past behind me as I had hoped."
Emma could see he truly believed it, but she refused to let him keep thinking that way. It wasn't fair to let him suffer those thoughts when she knew the opposite was true. "Hey look at me." Emma says letting his arm go and reaching up to cup his jaw and turning his face towards hers. She waits until his eyes lift to hers to speak. "You are not the same pirate I tied to that tree in the Enchanted Forrest. You're not even the same man who travelled with me through Neverland to rescue Henry…"
"Emma…" Killian tries to interrupt but she won't let him.
"Listen to me." Emma says and waits a beat to be sure he actually will. "Do you want to know how I know that?" She asks but doesn't even wait to let him answer. "Because that man wouldn't have batted an eye at having to sacrifice a life for any reason. That man might have not even been on that ship today to save Belle, because it didn't serve any purpose for himself." She lets that sink in for a minute before continuing. "But the fact you're sitting here feeling remorse for a man who probably doesn't deserve it, and Belle and her unborn baby are safely tucked away on your ship because of you…that's a big deal Killian." She says and seeing the flash of light in his eyes, she knows she is getting through.
"It all came back to me on that ship though Emma." Killian says still a little skeptic. "It was too easy to fit back into that role."
"But you did it to save Belle. You weren't there for the thrill of the fight, but to protect a friend. And it's good that you did because it's how you were able to do it." Emma insists. "You, an ex-pirate, took on Jekyll and his magic on won. You even took down Hyde." Emma says on a laugh. "Something that Regina, Gold and I still hadn't found a way to do. And you did it on your own. You were a hero today Killian!"
At the words Killian can't help the small smile and shakes his head, this time in mild embarrassment. "I didn't know that was how you got rid of Hyde…"
"It doesn't matter." Emma says still smiling. "I'm still proud of you and wish I could tell all of Storybrooke about it."
"No, it's best if we keep with the story that the Crocodile handled things today." Killian says serious again. "We wouldn't want to upset the Lad with what we discovered or put the town in a panic."
"Of course." Emma agrees, silently making a vow that once they found another way to defeat the Evil Queen that didn't involve killing Regina, that the truth would come out. With her hand still resting on his jaw Emma leans forward and does and gives him a brief kiss, now that the problem seems to have passed. "Is everything ok now?" She asks cautiously.
Killian felt foolish now that he had let today's events get him so out of sorts, but it had been real fear that had struck him when Emma had arrived and it came time to deal with the aftermath. At his own hand, not one, but two men were dead. Granted neither were that good, and Emma was right it was to protect the town and Belle. But at the time Killian just thought about the death at his own hand. But Emma made perfect sense and if she didn't look at him like a villain, then he wouldn't look at himself like that either.
"Everything is fine, Love." Killian says looking down at her now like Emma was used to.
"So do you want to unpack now? Or were you serious before about being hungry?" She asks looking at the chest on the table in front of them. "Is this really all you brought?" Now that the trouble had passed she acknowledge how small the chest was. How could a 300+ old pirate have so little possessions? Pirates were natural collectors.
"You and Belle both seem so shocked." Killian shakes his head. "What do you expect?"
"Well I don't know." Emma shrugs reach out hesitantly to lift the lid of the chest and was surprised to see that not only was it small, but it wasn't all that full. It was clear they would have some shopping to do in the near future. "I just figured there were would be…more?" Emma says looking back at him and closing the lid of the chest. "You were a pirate after all, surely the Jolly Roger is full of things you've found on your many travels."
"Aye." Killian agrees with a small smile and a quick nod. "But as you recently have pointed out that those are the possessions of Captain Hook, notorious pirate and villain. And I am not that man anymore."
With another big smile Emma leans up and gives Killian another, longer kiss. Closing her eyes when his hand comes up to grasp the back of her head, fingers digging into her hair. They finally pull a part and she shakes her head to clear her thoughts.
"So since this is all you have, how bout we quickly take this upstairs and unpack and then come back down to eat? Shouldn't take more than 10 minutes."
"Sounds like a grand plan." Killian agrees picking up the chest and gesturing for Emma to lead the way, much like he had earlier in the bedroom, except this time she does proceed him. Walking with an extra sway in her step. "So what are we having for dinner?" Killian asks, the hunger he mentioned before being all too real.
Emma stops midway up the stairs and looks back at Killian with a playful smile. "Tell me…how do you feel about pancakes?" She asks unable to hold back a giggle, that then turns into full laugh when Killian gives her a questioning look.
Like I said, just something that came to me after watching the episode. I know the writers mentioned that they were planning to explore Killian's past more and him dealing with his villainous past. I just thought his heroic moment might bring back memories of other fights on the Jolly Roger that he would rather forget. I hope you enjoyed and look forward to your thoughts! Thanks for reading!