Disclaimer: Don't own stuff…like…Legato…And…yeah.
A/N: Yup. Long awaited chapter I suppose for some of you. I really don't have an excuse except for laziness…oh, and school. Anyway, I'll stop yapping and let you read the chapter now. Enjoy. HOPEFULLY this one will be better than the last one. Oh, and this chapter focuses mostly on The Great One and Legato and Knives, so to those who won't be happy about that, I apologize. ^_^
Hunting For The Elusive Mayfly Known As Love…Not
Christmas Disaster And The Second Halloween
By great demand from Knives, Rem was called up and the camping trip was ended early. Rem, none too happy with this, refused to say anything the entire car ride back to the hotel. However, SHE wouldn't let the kids ruin HER vacation. So she dropped them off at the hotel and drove back to her friend's home a few hours away from the hotel's current position.
Christmas was just in a few days, but no one was looking forward to it EXACTLY as one child should. Milly and Meryl had the misfortune of having to share their room with Melissa, who demanded that a line be drawn down half of the room, indicating HER side and Meryl and Milly's side. Unsurprisingly enough, Melissa got the larger side of the room, where the bathroom, built-in kitchen, and front door were. And guess what? Because Meryl and Milly were 'NOT' allowed to cross the line, Melissa was generous enough to inform them that the only way to go outside was climb out the window.
But that didn't stop Meryl from crossing the line when the haughty little snob wasn't looking…or throwing things at her…or putting shampoo in her morning coffee. ANYWAY, moving onto the next room containing all of the saddened guys…
Knives REFUSED to speak to Legato and Legato was just fine with that. He was too busy tending to the needs of The Great One and pampering the little magic 8 ball. Vash was sprawled out on the bed flipping through the channels on the TV with the remote, Demonte was reading a book that he had found in the hotel's library (wow…what a cool library), and Nick was staring out the window, aimlessly.
"How boring!" Knives exclaimed spontaneously. "When's Rem coming back to take us home?"
"Not for a few days," Vash muttered, still watching TV.
Knives growled. "But CHRISTMAS is in a few days. What? She's going to forget about us?"
"You would like that, wouldn't you?" Demonte said, his nose buried in the book.
Knives frowned and snatched the remote from Vash.
"Hey!" Vash shouted, and groped for the remote. Knives jumped off of the bed and proceeded to beat Demonte with the remote.
"What!? Hey!" Demonte used his book as a shield to cover his head. "You jerk!"
"Jerk!? Is that the best you can do!?" Knives overturned the pullout bed, smothering Demonte beneath it. "There, JERK!" Knives stormed over to the sink, grabbed a plastic cup and filled it with water. Then, randomly, threw the water on Nick.
"What the..!" Nick stared at his waterlogged shirt. "What did I do!?"
"You're not paying attention to what I am saying. Therefore, you deserve to be punished." Knives replied smugly.
"That's stupid logic!" Nick jumped up from his chair. "How about I push you out the window, Knives!?"
And aside from the pointless bickering, we move closer to Legato, who is consulting with The Great One.
"Master," Legato cooed. "What do you want for Christmas?"
Is Santa coming?
I would like to see Santa.
Legato stiffened. "B-But Master, Santa doesn't come unless you are asleep…"
…I am sad.
"No Master!" Everyone stopped fighting and turned to Legato. "Do not be sad! I shall show Santa to you!"
"Are you happy again, Master?"
Very. May we sing Christmas Carols as well?
"If my Master desires it so, we shall sing Christmas Carols."
"What are you talking about!?" Knives spat. "Christmas Carols are for sissies!" Legato shot Knives a nasty glare, which surprised the blonde bully.
"My Master wishes to sing Christmas Carols," Legato said with that evil British accent of his. "And I intend to see that he gets what he wants."
"L-Legato!" Knives advanced towards him. "What are you talking about? You're MY servant! Why are you taking orders from a plastic ball!?"
Legato gasped and held The Great One close to him.
"How dare you refer to my Master as THAT!"
Demonte, finally pushing the pullout bed right side up again, blinked and then grabbed his book, plopping back onto the bed. "Well, something that does not involve me. Back to reading."
"Legato, I ORDER you to dispose of that THING!"
"Never!" Legato stood up. "I will never betray The Great One!"
"He is my Master!"
The fight ensued like this for several minutes until finally, Knives left the room, and Legato did the same. Legato headed for the restaurant and Knives for the library.
"Well…" Nick blinked. "That was fun."
An hour later, Legato emerged back in the room, carrying The Great One. He peeked around the corner. "Is my EX-Master gone?"
"Yes. He's downstairs probably setting fire to the library books." Demonte said, still reading his own book.
"Sir! What are you doing!?" The librarian cried.
Knives jumped on top of the counter and shouted, "FOOLISH MORTALS! OBEY ONLY ME, MILLIONS KNIVES! If you refuse, then SCREW YOU!" Knives whipped out a lighter and set fire to the counter.
"Heresy! Heresy!" The people cried.
And so, the library burned down and Knives was happy. The end.
Back in the room…
"Nicholas," Legato hovered over Nick, who had changed his clothes.
"What?" Nick asked. Legato set The Great One in his bed and put the earmuffs over the round ball.
"We must not let The Great One hear us. He is sleeping now."
"…" Nick blinked. "Right. Well, what do you want Legato?"
"Follow me outside." Legato commanded.
"What? We can't follow?" Vash asked.
"It is a personal matter for only the Preacher to know."
"…Um…okay." Vash said, turning back to the TV.
After the two retreated into the hall, Legato looked at Nick seriously and then said, "I require the usage of…your hat."
"You mean my confessional?" Nick asked dully.
"Call it whatever you'd like but I must use it."
"Legato…the confessional is not a hat."
"…Quiet. Let me use it."
Nick sighed as he pulled out a small pill and a water bottle and poured water on the pill. The capsule immediately transformed into the shiny and pretty confessional. Legato snatched it up from the floor and stuffed his head into it.
"Now, my son, what is your need?"
"…I am not your son, Wolfwood. Never say such a ludicrous thing EVER again."
Nick face faulted. "It's what ALL preachers say you numbskull! I never said that you were my son! Now stop wasting time and tell me what you want already!"
"I have committed a horrible sin…"
"Yes, we know that you disobeyed Knives," Nick cut the blue-haired medium off.
"…Shut up. Never mention his name again."
"Oh? So I was wrong?"
"I lied to The Great One."
"I told him that…Santa existed…"
Nick became silent.
"…What should I do?"
"…Did you hear me?"
"Nicholas! Are you even PAYING ATTENTION TO ME!?" Legato flared as he yanked the confessional from his head.
And then he blinked.
Nick stood there, his bottom lip quivering.
"What?" Legato asked.
"You…mean…" Nick squeaked. "Santa…doesn't…exist?"
Legato face faulted. "NO! He doesn't!"
Several doors opened with angry people behind them.
"Keep it down out there!" One man snapped.
"Yeah! Have some consideration for other people!"
"SILENCE!" Legato shouted as he used mind melding powers to unhinge the doors and began to beat the people with them.
Screams and cries could be heard all over the hotel and then there was silence as blood seeped from the rooms and out into the hall.
Nick gaped at the mess in horror as several rooms had been coated in blood. Jolting his head back to Legato, he cried, "You heartless monster! You didn't have to kill them!"
"They were interfering." Legato shrugged. "Now, where was I? Oh yes, what should I do, Nicholas? I promised The Great One that I would show him Santa."
"Maybe it's a good thing Santa DOESN'T exist," Nick mumbled, still staring at the crime scene. "I can't imagine how much coal Santa would give you for this."
"What was that?"
"Nothing. Well Legato," Nick turned back to Legato. "Perhaps you should uh…well…um…Well…you lied…"
"I know that! If lying was the only problem, I wouldn't have consulted you. BELIEVE ME." Legato shouted. "So what should I DO about it?"
"Uh…I don't know. Dress up as Santa?" Nick suggested.
Just then, Legato beamed. "What a SPLENDID idea! Thank you Nicholas. I shall make the preparations at once!" And with that, Legato scuttled down the hall. Nick stood there, scratching his head.
Christmas Eve came soundly and with no words exchanged between the evil arguing pair. Remaining in the hotel for three days was beginning to take its toll on the teenagers, and Vash rejoiced when he learned that Rem would be home the next morning in time for Christmas.
"It's bumper to bumper traffic dear," Rem said, talking on her cell phone as she and the car sat in line behind a zillion other cars. "I'm sorry I won't be there for Christmas Eve. You can manage without me though, right?"
"Of course Rem," Vash said as he twirled the phone cord around his index finger. "Melissa and I will be just fine."
"…I was referring to everyone besides you and Melissa, Vash. And one more thing…I'm not paying for her room or anything. So who do you think is?"
"Uh…" Vash hunched over, nervously. "It's all taken care of, Rem."
"It had BETTER be Vash Saverem, for your sake. My money doesn't grow on trees you know…"
"Technically it DOES Rem, because money is made from paper and paper comes from– – "
"…Hello?" Vash stared dumbly at the phone. "Rem? Are you there? Hello?" He gently put the phone on the receiver. "Must've gotten cut off."
"I doubt it," Demonte muttered, STILL reading the same book that he had been for the past three days. "She probably got tired of your constant backtalk."
"SILENCE Kalabis!" Vash hissed as he rolled off the bed. "What would you know? Always sitting there and reading that stupid book all day long. I hope it turns into a monster and eats your face."
"…I love you too Vash." Demonte rolled his eyes.
Vash cringed. "EWWWWW!"
Demonte mirrored Vash's face. "Oh geez, that was NOT meant to be taken seriously, you broom-headed moron!"
A knock on the door interrupted the two bickering men.
"I'll get it," Vash muttered as he moved towards the door. Opening it, he jumped backwards in horror. There, standing before him, were George, Midvalley, Sven, and Rai-Dei ALL wearing Santa suits…including the beards.
"…I'm sorry, but the North Pole is next door." Vash began to close the door on them and then was pushed backwards as all the men barged in through the doorway. "This is considered harassment I hope you know," Vash's eyes narrowed.
"Har-ess-ment…" George's tongue was hanging out over his beard.
"Ah, going out with your friends, I see," Demonte said, his eyes peeking over his book.
"Shut up Kalabis!" Vash roared. "These are NOT my friends!"
"But they look just like you."
Vash growled, his hands balling up into fists.
"I-Is Legato here?" Sven whispered. "We want to surprise the Master…"
"Which one?" Demonte asked, setting his book aside.
"What do you MEAN 'which one'?" Midvalley snorted, taking the words offensively. "We only serve The Great One."
"Figured," Demonte said. "You all resemble idiots of the same clique." Then he gestured towards Vash. "I'm surprised that he isn't in your party."
"AAAHHHHH!!!!" Vash hissed, growing fangs. Hurdling himself through the air, he pounced on Demonte and the two were flung out the open window.
"IIIIII HHHHHAAAAAAATTTTTEE YYYYYOOOOOOUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!" Demonte shouted as he and Vash fell several stories towards the fountain directly below them.
"Now make a wish darling," A nerdy father with nerdy broken glasses, a nerdy backpack, and a nerdy beanie said to his nerdy son with the same nerdy broken glasses, nerdy backpack, and the same nerdy beanie. Aaaah, like father, like son. ^_^ "Maybe the fountain fairy will make all of your dreams come true…"
"OH MERCY NO!" The father screamed as two figures cannonballed into the fountain, a tsunami rising high above the nerdy father and the nerdy son. The water engulfed the two nerds and they drowned in their own wishes. ^_^
"Am I dead?" Vash asked, dazed, as he submerged through the remainder of the water, coughing up any unwanted liquids in his lungs.
"Sadly, no," Demonte mumbled, crawling out of the fountain. "But I wish I was."
"Don't dream alone Kalabis," Vash shot a scornful glare in the dark-haired boy's direction.
"HEY VASH!" The two looked up to see Sven leaning far over the windowsill, calling down to them. "WHERE'S LEGATO!?"
"HOW SHOULD I KNOW!?" Vash yelled. "I'M NOT HIS KEEPER!"
"I hope someone pushes him over the ledge," Demonte stomped back inside of the hotel. "That way, there won't be any water left to save him."
And soon, Legato (Dressed in the Santa outfit) emerged into the room. Looking around, he crept closer to the 'Fantastic Five'.
"We came just as soon as you called, Legato," Midvalley informed the megalomaniac blue boy. "Where's the Master?"
"Shhh," Legato put a finger to his lips. "He's sound asleep in the girls' room. We must make plans now."
Uh…Legato? In the girls' room?
Melissa walked in, chewing bubblegum, and jumped on the bed. Meryl was in the shower and Milly was on the phone with her parents, who COMPLETELY understood that she wouldn't be home for Christmas…etc…etc…
"Oh yes mum, I understand…uh-huh…Nick's mother is suicidal without him…Right…Dad already killed himself…Yes, mom I'll be sure to tell Nick that. Oh, how are Sempai's parents? They were in jail last I heard. Oh and Demonte's grandfather too…Oh? They still aren't out? Oh poor Sempai and Demonte. They won't see them for Christmas…Yes mum we'll be home day after tomorrow. I promise…No, Rem's stuck in traffic mum…Right…She's a bad driver mum, yes…Yes…okay…I love you too mum…Hugs and kisses…bye-bye…" Milly put down the phone.
"Nick's dad killed himself!?" Melissa asked, blowing a huge bubble with her bubblegum.
"Well…It was suicidal FAILURE," Milly corrected, twirling a lock of her hair around her finger.
"…Isn't that a song?" Melissa asked.
"Oh yes, that's where Nick's dad got the idea to kill himself. He tried to beat himself over the head with a baseball bat, run himself over with the car, tried to pick a fight with the lawnmower, and it JUST didn't work. He's in therapy right now."
"…I see." Melissa leaned back, resting her head against the pillows. "Wait…what's this lumpy thing?"
Just as she turned her head to look back at the pillow, Meryl emerged from the bathroom, her damp hair hanging in her eyes. And…she was still draped in a towel.
"Milly," Meryl growled. "I set my clothes out in the bathroom. WHY are they not there now?"
"Oh…sorry Meryl. I didn't know that they were YOUR clothes." Meryl wanted to face fault.
"WHOSE clothes did you think that they were then!?" Meryl raged.
Milly shrugged. "Vash's?"
"WHY WOULD VASH'S CLOTHES BE IN OUR BATHROOM!?" Meryl diverted her gaze to Melissa. "Never mind, I know the reason."
"Touché," Melissa rolled her eyes as she pushed the pillows away.
"Where are my clothes now, Milly?" Meryl sighed.
"Probably in the lost and found, Meryl. You should go check."
Meryl growled. "Right, I should go check. That was my ONLY pair of clothing and here I am CLOTHED in ONLY a towel. So why don't I give the hotel a strip show and cavort right on down to the lost and found?" She said sardonically.
Milly clapped her hands together. "Oh, you're going to put on a show for the hotel, Meryl? How nice of you!"
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Melissa screamed as she toppled off the bed.
The Great One sat, snuggled beneath the pillows, held in a staring contest between the girls.
"OH MY GOSH!" Meryl cried as she brought her hands up to her face.
…And her towel dropped.
"What!? What is it!?" Vash bolted through the door, followed by Legato and his lackeys. He turned to look at Meryl, and gaped.
"PERVERT!" Meryl screamed as she hurriedly wrapped the towel back around herself and slapped Vash senseless before stomping back into the bathroom.
Spinning in a circle, Vash fell to the floor and Legato leaped across him and scooped the crying Great One in his arms.
; ______ ; ::Sniffles::
"Master, don't cry!" Legato said as he rocked the little Magic 8 Ball in his arms.
"Yes!" Legato said and then motioned the other four Santas to join him. "It is us, Santa."
…There are five of you?
"Uh…" They all muttered, staring at each other.
"I am the real Santa," Legato laughed. "and these are my little helpers. We heard your Christmas Wish that you wanted to see us and we came to you."
^_^ Can we sing Christmas Carols?
"Of course we can!" Rai-Dei cheered, the other four egging him on.
And so The Great One was happy.
…Until Vash got to his feet and pointed an accusing finger at Legato.
"YOUR STUPID BALL SAW MERYL NAKED, LEGATO! THAT IS UNACCEPTABLE!"
…Legato? What is he talking about Santas?
"I have absolutely NO idea," Legato said through gritted teeth and then hurled an arm in Vash's direction, where Vash immediately crumpled to the floor, the telekinesis powers crunching his bones backwards. "Perhaps we should leave now and sing Christmas Carols."
"Oh REALLY now?" Everyone turned to look up at Knives, who haunted the doorway. His arms were folded over his chest. "Spending Christmas with the ball, RIGHT Slaves?"
"The Great One is NOT a BALL!" Midvalley cried. "He is our Master!"
"YEAH!" Everyone agreed.
Knives' eyes widened in surprise. "What…did…you…say?"
"You heard the posse," Legato spoke. "You are no longer our Master. From now on, The Great One is our ONLY Master! HUZZAH!" Legato lifted The Great One high into the air.
"HUZZAH!" Everyone rallied.
Knives' bottom lip puffed out as he tried to find the words to say. "F-Fine! Who needs you losers anyway!? I still have Monev and Dominique and…and…Grey…" Knives' eyes narrowed. "I don't need ANY of you!"
"YAY! Onwards men!" Legato cheered as he led the other Santas outside to sing Christmas Carols. Knives watched after them, miserably.
"And wait until you see what we got you for Christmas, Master," Sven rambled on as they continued down the hall. "You'll love it!"
Knives turned away and stared at a wall in the girls' room.
"I don't need them…" Knives said quietly, all eyes on him. "…Really, I don't."
Nick sat inside of the guys' room, flipping through the channels on the TV. Demonte was bandaging his wounds that the fall had caused, and scowled as he finished tying one around his arm.
"That stupid Vash. He's WAY too destructive. I don't know how many lives I have left."
"That's Vash for you," Nick said, not taking his eyes away from the TV. "Ah! The Christian Channel!"
"Great," Demonte said, snatching the remote out of his hands. "We'll watch that AFTER we look at the news." Flipping back a few channels, Demonte stopped as a woman appeared. "Ah, here we go. Look Nick," He gestured to the TV. "The Mayor of Gunsmoke is on."
"Good evening my fellow citizens," The Mayor began. "It's the Holidays and I would randomly like to send out a 'Get Well Soon' to Mr. Joseph Wolfwood who is currently in therapy after repeatedly trying to kill himself."
"WHAT!?" Nick cried, lunging for the TV. "MY FATHER TRIED TO DO WHAT!? THAT IS NOT THE WAY OF HIS HOLINESS!"
"Mrs. Maryann Wolfwood is also randomly suicidal and so are their two children, Bobby and Heather Wolfwood."
"WHY!?" Nick screamed. "BOBBY AND HEATHER!? RANDOMLY SUICIDAL!? HOW CAN ANYONE JUST BE RANDOMLY BE SUICIDAL!?"
"Now, Nick," Demonte bit his bottom lip and tried to calm the hysterical preacher man. "Don't get riled up for nothing. Maybe it's a different family."
Whirling around to meet Demonte with insane eyes, Nick spat, "Oh? And just HOW many Wolfwoods do you know that has a mom named Maryann, a dad named Joseph, and two siblings named Bobby and Heather who just RANDOMLY TRY TO KILL THEMSELVES!?"
"And in other news," The Mayor continued. "There has been a petition to outlaw New Year's Day and uh…" A piece of paper was handed to the Mayor. "It's been PASSED! No more New Year's Day! Why? Because it's a USELESS Holiday where all people do is drink, get drunk, and make empty promises!"
"Uh…?" Demonte and Nick blinked.
"So instead of New Year's Day, for now and forever more, we are going to have a SECOND HALLOWEEN! YAY! DOESN'T THAT SOUND LIKE FUN!?"
Meanwhile, our faithful Santas are…
"Deck the halls with bo– – "
"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" An elderly man screamed as he swung his cane around, trying to hit Legato and his friends. "I CAN TAKE NO MORE OF YOUR HORRENDOUS SINGING!"
Legato looked down towards The Great One.
; ________ ; I am sad…Our joyous singing is not liked…
"HERESY!" Midvalley screamed as he hit the old man over the head with his saxophone, Sylvia.
"LET'S PUSH HIM DOWN THE STAIRS!" Sven rallied as he held his green apple to the sky.
"HUZZAH FOR CHRISTMAS DAY!" The Santas sang as they tossed the old man down the stairs.
"SSSSSSCCCCCCRRRREEEEWWWWW YYYYYOOOOOUUUUUU!!!!!!!" The old man cried as he tumbled down the stairs and landed in a cactus…which impaled him…and milk no longer filled the cactus's needs as blood did just fine. Yay.
And now it was Midnight…what was going to come next?
Geez, and THIS is how I repay you all for waiting so long for this chapter? So sorry. Please forgive me. This chapter was so messed up. ::Shakes head:: What on earth was I on?
Yeah, I expect some head shakes and some 'tsks, tsks' from people who just don't understand me. But if you DO…Then please leave a courteous review or one that gives me helpful advice that will make my story better…not one that tells me to 'jump off a cliff'. ^_^ Cha!