Who the hell does she think she is

Here's a new one, this time from Heero's POV. Its real short too, I promise. Heero is suffering from an internal argument.




Just Run Away

By Rashaka


I watch the waves go by in my window below. I can't focus on anything. It's her. That stupid pigheaded girl is in my brain again. Why can't I forget about her. Even when I'm all alone she's still following me around, prancing in my head. So what if she has pretty eyes? Pretty eyes won't save your life.

I was going to kill her and she just stood there like she had perfect confidence that I wouldn't do it. I would have. I would. Maybe I still will. She has no right to look at me like that.

Who the hell does she think she is?

She's the first honest person you've ever met, the mutinous corner of my head whispers.

Telling me how I'm supposed to live. She's just a kid.

No more so than you.

She doesn't understand.

She might, if you let her.

She couldn't possibly understand where I come from. The hell I've been living. She's had a perfect world because no one could bear tell to her what life is really like outside the dollhouse. Why won't she leave me alone.

She's doing something she believes in.

Lot of good that will do her.

Maybe a lot after all.

She thinks she can fix the world. Make it a paradise of light and love and peace. She can't fix this world; she can't even take care of herself.

She won't be able to change anything.

But she's already started changing you.

I have to fight. I have to make them see. If I fight, if I kill, no one else has to. She has no right to judge me.

She has the right as a living human being.

If that's true, then maybe by her standards I'm not even human anymore. I've killed too many. So she should just drop it and run back home. She's not strong enough to last out here.

She's lasted this long. Maybe she's stronger than you think.

No way. She should run, before she's out of places to run back to. If I can't run home— if none of us can run home, then at least she ought to. She's got her life on a silver platter in front of her. Why won't she just take the damn thing and be done with this mess.

Maybe she thinks there's something better in this mess than on that platter.

I won't protect her. I won't do it. I can't be someone's babysitter. I've got a job to do. She'd be just one more thing in the way.

So don't. Watch a bit. Maybe she won't need your protection after all.

She sure needs someone's protection if she's going to survive this snake-pit.

Maybe she'll surprise you. Wouldn't that be nice.

Wouldn't it. Fine. She wants to play, she can play. If she lives, then I'll tell her she's surpassed me. But I won't let her block my path. It's too important.

Maybe one day her path will be the same as yours. If you'd allow it, she might even want to walk beside you.

She wouldn't survive the first mile.

It would be nice to walk with someone though, wouldn't it?

It… would be nice.