I was reading a couple of the fics some of you posted dealing with John and Aeryn's relationship or lack thereof when Talyn reunited with Moya. And I got very angry with Aeryn for some reason. But I got angrier with John for taking all that crap. So this is the fruit of those feelings.

Setting: One monen after the reunion of Talyn and Moya.

Warnings: Deals with suicide.

'Not John Crichton'

Oh, for crying out loud!!

He'd had enough of this shit. He had a dead twin out there. That was hard enough on his soul. But the woman would not even aknowledge Him! It was as if he wasn't John Crichton anymore. At least not to her. The only one that really mattered.

One monen. He'd endured this crap for one frelling monen. She'd do her part of the work, but would not talk to anyone. Not talk to him. Whenever he would share a room with her, she'd freeze up. Wouldn't look at him. Wouldn't answer him. And if he even attempted some sort of physical contact or light humor, she'd send a withering look his way. Enough. One way or the other this had to end. And if she wouldn't come out of her fucking coccoon and end it herself he'd do it. Damn skippy.

Touching his comms he barked into the little golden piece. 'Aeryn! Meet me in docking bay 1, now!' His pace lengthened and picked up. Oh, yeah they were getting this over with!

He was fuming. So worked up, he was trying to calm himself breathing deeply. It was a halfhearted attempt at most. It had been a quarter of an arn already. Where was she?! What if there had been an enemy on board and he'd needed backup? But she didn't care, did she? She'd made that clear enough. Well that was gonna change. He'd give her something to care about alright. He ran out of the docking bay and towards the upper tiers.

'Pilot, where is Officer Sun?' He asked as he sped along Moya's hallways. Pilot's voice carried a little behind him as his long gait took him closer to the crew's quarters. 'I show Officer Sun at the central chamber, Commander.' John didin't even bother answering. He just took the next junction and headed for the central chamber at top speed.

John Crichton burst throught the chamber's door like a fiend out of hell. He zeroed on the oh, so lovely Sebacean to the left of the room and laid it on her. 'Didn't you hear my comms, Sunshine?!' His voice practically grated on everyone present. That was when he noticed that everyone else WAS present. Of all the rotten... It didn't matter, he was on a roll. 'What's the mater, Aeryn, cat got your tongue?' Aeryn flinched imperceptibly, but the only motion he enacted was for her to turn her stony features away from him. That just burned and hurt all the more. So he walked up to her, grabbed her arm and pulled her up. 'Oh, no you don't sweetheart. I'm sick and tired of you ignoring me. I'm fed up of you pretending I don't even exist. I know you lost him. That you lost the John Crichton you really fell in love with but this John Crichton is still alive an kicking, and for your information, very much in love with you and tired of being hurt just for being Me!' John was so heated up he didn't even notice the looks of his friends or their jittery reactions to his unexpected ranting. He just kept on going. 'Well? C'mon, Aeryn. Say something. Talk to me. Get angry, shout, hit me, hug me, cry, love me, send me away, but DO something already!' And then it hit him. Aeryn turned her gorgeous, cold eyes towards him and said the fateful words. 'You, are not John Crichton.' The collective gasp around the room. 'John Crichton is dead.' And just stood there, daring him to disagree.

It was true. He could see it in her eyes, she believed this to be true. Can't compete with a martir. Not even if he's you. Pure rage filled him then. Rage at the universe for putting him in this predicament. At her for allowing it to happen. At himself for not being stronger. Oh, hell, what was the use... 'So I'm not even me anymore, am I? Then there's nothing else for me to do, I guess.' And with that he reached for Winona, placed the muzzle against his heart and primed her. A sound of horror and uncertainty slowly crept into Aeryn's voice. 'What are you doing?' Still so flat and cold. 'You see, I have no use for this anymore,'He said, softly tapping the left side of his heart. 'so I'm going to do away with it. Frankly I'm not sure if this is revenge or just plain giving up. I'll be sure to let you know. chuckle But I don't care anymore. Still love you. Don't mean a thing.'

And with that

D'Argo, Chiana, Jool... 'John, NO!!' Aeryn

He fired.


Author's note: I have a follow up for this. But I won't post unless you guys want to read it. Let me know.