This is Weird! ----
A Sorceress's Paradise
Part One

Author: G. A. Curtis Wildcat

A "Slayers" Production

Meant to be silly. Care to MST? Drop me a line. Just
don't flame me; fire extinguishers are all the rage nowadays.

These don't take place in any particular order.



It was just your typical day. Thus, the citizens of Atlas City
going about their normal business paid no heed to Lina, Gourry,
Zelgadis, and Amelia as they raced out of town towards the
distant threat.

--Four monstrous golems in the shape of giant penguins; nothing we
can't handle--, Lina decided. She began gathering energy with one
hand. With a cry of "FIREE-BALL!", she released her attack
and completely disintegrated one of the charging golems.

Gourry continued his own charge towards another golem. Summoning
the blade of the Sword of Light, he proceeded to slice and dice
said golem six ways from Tuesday.

Zelgadis leaped a few feet in the air and remained there, hovering.
He gathered energy in his hand and released it as a barrage of heavy
winds. The windstorm completely eroded one golem and partially
eroded the fourth, leaving it open for Amelia's Bram Blazer to

Lina dusted off her hands. "That was easy enough. Now, let's eat!"

"I'm all for that," Gourry answered, putting his sword away.

"Sure, Miss Lina," Amelia agreed, joining the duo as they walked
back into the city.

Surprisingly enough, even Zelgadis decided to join them. This struck
Lina as odd, since he normally didn't decide to join them without
a battle of wills. Finally, she just shrugged it off and decided to
enter the closest tavern.

Almost immediately, they were greeted by the owner of the tavern.
"Greetings, Miss Inverse!" he exclaimed happily.

"What's with the wondrous good mood?" Gourry asked.

"We've been expecting you for the past hour, and we have some
wondrous good news!"

"Good news as in...?" Lina asked pointedly.

"You remember that drawing you entered in a week ago? The one where
you said that it was, in your words, `a big, fat, idiotic waste of
my time'? Well, you've won the drawing, and the prizes are
3-gold-coin coupons for the All-You-Can-Eat lunch buffet!"

Lina and Gourry stood there, struck dumbfounded. "Lunch coupons?"
Amelia asked in a small voice. Zelgadis was a bit confused, as

"That's right," the manager said in a victorious tone. "Today only,
you're welcome to the All-You-Can-Eat buffet. Everyone else won't
be coming in for another few hours, so you have the buffet all to

Amelia smacked a fist into an open palm as Gourry took the coupons.
"Well, what are we waiting for? It's LUNCH TIME!"

After paying for the coupons, everyone raced for the buffet. Their
minds jumped clear over Atlas's defense walls as they gazed on the
food that was set out before them: everything from steak, eggs, BLT
sandwiches, and salads to even a few extras from beyond the

Six hours later.....

"This is great!" Lina announced to no one in particular as she and
Amelia relaxed in a steam bath on the other side of town.

"You're telling me." Amelia's grin must've been contagious, because
soon Lina had a smile from ear to ear as well. "You were laughing
so hard that people a block away thought you were auditioning for
the role of `court jester'!"

The happiness Lina was experiencing must've been overwhelming; she
completely ignored Amelia's statements. "Tomorrow, I am DEFINITELY
going on a shopping spree! Just imagine how much money I---"



Lina abruptly snapped awake, shoving the blankets off her. "Wha...?
What's going on?"

"A monster's raiding the inn, that's what," Zelgadis snapped. "I've
been screaming and yelling at you for the last six minutes!"

"Aw, great," Lina growled as she grabbed her cape. "Then all that
good stuff I experienced must've been a dream!"

"A dream?" Zelgadis asked, slightly calmer. He chuckled quietly.
"Were you having the `Good Times' dream that the Atlas City Guild
told you about?"

"Shut up," Lina snarled. "Let's get downstairs!"

Downstairs, a monster had assumed the form of a giant bat and was
floating around, just scaring everyone half to death. Zelgadis,
Lina, and Gourry, who had joined them on the way down, raced back
downstairs to confront the monster----and then the bat started

"What are you laughing at, Dracula?" the now-furious Lina Inverse

"You!" the bat sniggered. "Look in the mirror!"

Lina did so...and immediately regretted that decision. "Must be a
serious case of `Bed Hair'," Zelgadis commented. "Looks worse than
mine after a lightning storm, and that's saying something."

Lina just groaned. "The one bad thing about having a good dream is
that you have to wake up to an even worse reality."

"Um, Lina, I think your boots and gloves are still upstairs," Gourry
piped up.

"See what I mean, Zel?"


More chapters on the way with entirely different plotlines.