Not a Virgin
By Karrah Aretz

This is a songfic unlike any other I have done before. With the exception of a few lines, all of the dialogue has been lyrics from the song instead of placed between scenes.


"I'm not a virgin anymore," was how she had replied when Val had mentioned how nervous she was about taking her top off on her date last night with Tyler. It had been the first time a guy had seen her topless and had to find out mid-confession that her best friend wasn't a virgin had shocked her.

Catie sat there for a minute trying to gauge Val's reaction and then got up and left.


The next day, Val found herself trying to do derivatives at the kitchen table at the station while Jamie was working on conjugating French verbs across from her. She couldn't concentrate. Every time she looked at Jamie she thought of him doing unspeakable things with Catie.

As girls and best friends they had, of course, seen each other naked before. Val had seen many girls naked as a cheerleader in the locker room. But to know that Jamie had seen Catie naked, that Catie had seen Jamie naked...what did Tyler look like naked?

Val closed her eyes and tried to concentrate. She couldn't. She hated derivatives.

"Val? You okay?" Jamie asked, looking up from his books.

"What? Yeah," Val mumbled in reply, chewing on her pen absently. Catie and Jamie naked in his bed, the messy closet with delusions of grandeur that he called a bedroom. Kissing. Touching. Moaning.

Val shook her head trying to force the images from her mind. No luck. She wondered if it was like in the movies. The other night Tyler had been timid, she'd been nervous, even though they hadn't really gone that far, but she had to wonder.

She couldn't see Jamie and Catie doing it at Catie's house for the same reason Val would never do anything in her room. They both had to share it. But how could she do anything in his room?

Val had been to Jamie's house once and his room was messy. It wasn't really dirty, but it was messy. And there were no candles, it was all black and gray and dark. Completely unromantic.

Before her musings could continue, Catie came in and without saying anything, made Jamie leave the room. She dragged the newly vacated chair around so she could sit next to Val. "You can call me what you will, call me a slut call me a jaded pill."

Val just looked at her uncomprehending, before recollection dawned. "Say what?"

"I'm not a virgin anymore," Catie repeated slowly. "I just thought you should know." She didn't elaborate.

Val looked her, her eyes hard. Despite her internal musings and curiosity, she had been hoping this was all some sort of joke. But it wasn't. Her friend had had sex. Sure, she knew that a lot of teens did, and her school and friends were not exempt from that, but Catie had always claimed that her body was her temple and that she would do nothing to defile it. She was a vegetarian, refused to get anything pierced; she didn't smoke or do drugs or anything. And despite all of this, she was taking a chance about STD's and pregnancy.

"Get screwed?" Val said distantly, still trying to wrap her mind around the news.

"Just thought you should know," Catie replied, leaving in a blur of black and red.


Val still couldn't concentrate after her shift either. This wasn't supposed to be a world shattering revelation, was. It turned her entire world upside down and inside out and there was little she could do. Except, that little voice in her head whispered, talk to Catie like an adult and get past this.

She had to get her homework done. And that meant calling Catie.

"Yo," Catie answered, picking up the phone on the second ring, they had caller ID.

"Tell me something," Val began preemptively. "how long?"

Catie had expected a lot of reactions from Val, but this wasn't one of them. She had been expecting condemnation, perhaps judgment. But not questions, "Um...a while," she mumbled, not really wanting to go into it.

Val wasn't sure she was so surprised anymore. Catie was a Goth, a rebel. She was always doing something different, but then, this would be so normal. Or not normal. Val really wasn't certain which. Statistics are one thing, reality another.

"...out side with the blue moon and burned down like a written sin," Catie was saying. Val had missed the beginning of Catie's explanation.

The conversation continued with Catie explaining more than Val wanted to know, but at the same time, fascinated. She was almost ashamed at how ignorant she was concerning sex, of course she was exposed to it, she was a cheerleader and the stereotype was there for a reason. She was the anomaly. But even her cheerleader friends never went into graphic detail or said with whom they were doing it. Val could make a few educated guesses, but nothing concrete.

And her best friend was currently telling her more details than she wanted to know. After hanging up, Val forgot about her homework and just laid in bed.


Val came to a conclusion sometime during the night. Catie, her best friend had lied to her. She should have told her what she was up to when she first started. Val felt betrayed. And undersexed.

At school the next day Val stormed up to her friend's locker, outraged. "Before you let another lie
slip through those crooked little teeth - " she began in a low tone.

Catie looked at her askance, arms akimbo. Her dark eyes narrowed, the eyeliner making them look small and black. "I don't think you wanna start that shit with me," she warned. She didn't want to fight with her best friend, but to be accused of lying, she didn't understand!

"Careful what it is you say, 'cause I can see right through you on a cloudy day," Val replied, not noticing a crowd gathering around them. She was pissed and that was it. She was jealous and she didn't want to admit it. "Darlin' I've got your number now."

"If you wanna play dirty darling I'm gonna win," Catie replied, trying not to cry. She didn't cry in public. She wouldn't back down, not from a fight, not from any fight, but this was Val. Val was making a scene. Val hated her.

"Catie!" a voice rang out in the crowd. "Break it up!" Jamie's voice cut through the haze in Catie's mind.

"What?" she asked dumbly, allowing Jamie to hold her shoulders.

"Been there done that," Jamie murmured in her ear. Now was not the time for a fight. "Val, go to class. Catie c'mon."


Val sat in the hallway outside of class and seethed. Her teacher, assuming that Catie had started the fight, had allowed Val to sit outside for a few minutes and calm down before starting classes. Val was not calming down.

The whore of her ex-best friend had stopped her fight. How dare he!

"Hey," Tyler said, coming down the hall. "Mind if I sit?"

Val shrugged.

He sat. "What happened?"

Sniffling, Val told him. By the time she was done, Tyler didn't even have to point out how stupid Val had been. She knew. And she knew that this time their relationship was over. Not only her and Catie, but everyone's. She had ruined her friendship with both Jamie and Catie and probably with Tyler as well. How could she look him in the eye after confessing?

"Happy ending fairy tales cannot fool me now," she mumbled, a quote from a song she heard once on the radio. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."


Outside under the bleachers, Jamie was trying to comfort Catie in much the same way as Tyler was for Val.

"So honey, I'm gonna put it back together again," he told her, wiping her cheeks with his jacket sleeve. "You'll see."

Catie shook her head numbly. She didn't want to salvage anything. It was over and down. She had tried and Val refused and that was the end of it. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she whispered to herself over and over.

A/N: STD: sexually transmitted diseases - you can only get them through unprotected sex with someone who is infected. This includes HIV & AIDS.

This was actually quite a difficult fic to write. I used lyrics from the song for dialogue and although I used the lines out of order, it was still difficult to get conversations and whatnot from it and still have a story that made sense. I'm picky like that.