so this was a drabble request that kind of got away from me, ahahahaa. the prompt was "You lost…but you're still MY little winner." and I went with strip poker and dick jokes because secretly, I never stopped being a 15 year old boy.
warnings for inappropriate humor and Judal throwing a plastic dong around, I guess? XD
Judal cackles loudly, gesturing at Hakuryuu with a playing card. "You lost again! After this, you're out of clothes."
"I'm taking my arm off," Hakuryuu declares. Everyone's in various states of undress, though somehow Judal is still mostly clothed. No one expected him to be any good at poker, but he laughed off everything that was thrown at him.
He whines. "Your arm isn't clothing!" He gestures broadly at Aladdin and Alibaba. "Tell him his arm isn't clothing!"
Alibaba shrugs. "I mean, he is wearing it…"
"You good for nothing loser, I'm going to throw my dick at you next time I have to take something off!" Judal yells, flipping him off.
Alibaba holds up his hands. "Ew, don't do that! That doesn't count!"
"I'm wearing it, aren't I?"
"I don't wanna see your plastic dick!"
"It's silicone," Judal tells him haughtily.
"Silicone is type of plastic, Judal," Hakuryuu tries to tell him, and Judal screeches over him. "Why do you even want me to take off my boxers? You don't usually want to share."
He shrugs. "I like your dick. And you shouldn't be ashamed of it!"
"I'm the only who's this undressed!"
Aladdin puts a hand on his shoulder. "I'll take my pants off next, if that will help."
"Please don't," Hakuryuu says, shrugging off his hand. Judal sticks his tongue out and makes a gagging noise in the background.
"Look dude, you were already wearing more clothes than the rest of us," Alibaba says, gesturing at the pile. "I think at this point you just have to admit your loss."
He shifts uncomfortably. "Then why do I have to finish stripping? I'll just accept my loss."
Judal bangs his fists on the ground. "Take it off! Take it off!"
"You're a terrible boyfriend, you know that right?" Hakuryuu grumbles. At least it's just Aladdin and Alibaba. He doesn't think he could take it if anyone else was here.
"Hey, I'm just in boxers and socks," Alibaba says consolingly, and shakes his head sadly. "I'll probably be joining you soon…"
Judal laughs. "Yeah, you're pretty much a loser."
"You're an asshole," Alibaba tells him. "Come on, Hakuryuu, you gotta follow the rules."
"Look, Hakuryuu," Judal begins, slinging an arm around his shoulders. "You lost…but you're still my little winner."
Hakuryuu stops pulling his boxers off. "Little? Really? That's how you're going to word it?"
He honestly looks confused. "What? I don't get it!"
"I mean...you called him little...in a game about taking your clothes off...as he's taking his underwear off," Alibaba explains, snickering. "Don't throw him under the bus like that!"
"What? No, I love Hakuryuu's dick!" Judal says, and Hakuryuu puts his head in his hands. He's never leaving his house again. This is too much embarrassment for him for the next few years, at the very least.
"Yeah, but you called him little."
"No, no, his dick is the perfect size," Judal explains. "You know, not too big, not too small, just like, the perfect amount of full. Now Sinbad, there's a big dick! And I'm not just talking about his personality, like his dong is uncomfortably large."
Hakuryuu can feel his face turning red, and he can hear Alibaba and Aladdin laughing. Great. He's cutting off all friendships and becoming a hermit.
"Besides, Hakuryuu's is cute. You know, cause his scars keep going down there-"
"That's enough," Hakuryuu finally says, cutting him off. "That's it, I think you've described me enough that I don't need to take my boxers off now."
Judal frowns. "What? I was trying to make you feel better!"
"How is telling everyone that my dick is small and covered in scars supposed to make me feel better?"
"I didn't say it was small! I said it was the perfect size!" Judal whines. "It's like Cinderella's glass slipper, or the baby bear's bed and Goldilocks. It's the perfect fit."
"Don't compare my dick to children's stories!" Hakuryuu cries, crawling over Judal to try to cover his mouth.
"It's a compliment! You always give me a happy ending! Let me love your penis!"
Hakuryuu finally manages to cover Judal's mouth, and he slobbers all over his hand. "What the hell? You're disgusting. Stop drooling on me and just shut up on your own!"
"No, no, I'm trying to fix this," he says, shoving Hakuryuu's hand away.
Alibaba is practically in tears from laughter, and Aladdin's hanging off his shoulder trying to catch his breath. Oh good, even his friends are laughing at his suffering. "You're both terrible friends," Hakuryuu tells them.
"I'm sorry," Alibaba says through peals of laughter. "Really, I'm trying not to laugh, but come on. It's funny."
"It is not!"
"Yes it is," Aladdin tells him, finally calm enough to talk. "It's okay, we'll still be your friends even if you have a small dick."
"I hate all of you."
Judal tries to help again. "No, it's not small! Mine is smaller!"
Hakuryuu throws his arms up in frustration. "You don't even have a dick!"
"Yes I do!" he yells, pulling out his packer and shoving it in Hakuryuu's face. "Don't insult him just because he's made of plastic!"
"I thought it wasn't plastic," Alibaba says, before breaking into laughter again.
Judal growls and throws it at him, but it misses and hits Aladdin in the eye instead. "Say that to my face!" he screeches. "Say that to my fucking face!"
"Don't throw things!" Hakuryuu yells.
"I do what I want!" Judal says, and jabs a thumb at Aladdin. "Hey shrimp, gimme back my dick."
Aladdin is holding a hand to his eye, rubbing it in pain. "You threw it at my face!"
"I wasn't trying to!" he says. "Hand it over."
Hakuryuu starts reaching for his clothes. Since everyone else is too busy arguing, he's just going to get dressed and escape this mess before anyone else starts throwing phallic objects. He picks up his shirt and goes to put it on, only to have Judal grab his arm.
"Hey! You can't get dressed," Judal says. "Hakuryuu is trying to cheat!"
Sometimes he wants to strangle his boyfriend. "I'm not trying to cheat. I was just going to excuse myself from the game."
"No! You have to strip first!" Judal says, going for his boxers. "You're breaking the rules!"
Alibaba looks up from fondling Judal's packer and nods along vigorously. "Yeah! You can't give up now!"
"Why are you playing with Judal's dick?" Hakuryuu asks, despite not being sure he wants the answer. Judal tries to pull his boxers off and Hakuryuu smacks his hand away.
"Uh, I mean, that is- Look, it feels kind of cool!" Alibaba says defensively and practically throws it back at Judal. "I've never felt one before!"
"Yeah, we all know you've never gotten laid," Judal says, laughing. "Keep your gross virgin hands off my dick; I don't wanna catch your loser germs."
"Hey hey hey, we can't all be as lucky as you! To have a childhood friend fall in love with you….it's really romantic!" Alibaba says wistfully.
Hakuryuu stands up to try to leave again, and Judal grabs the waistband of his boxers and pulls them down. Hakuryuu screeches and nearly trips when they end up around his knees. He tries to pull them back up but Judal stops him, cackling the whole time.
Alibaba and Aladdin giggle for a bit, before Alibaba wipes at his eyes. "Okay, Judal made it sound way worse. That's not small!"
"I really don't need your commentary," Hakuryuu says, kicking his boxers the rest of the way off so he doesn't actually trip.
"Hey, we should all compare!" Alibaba says.
"No!" Hakuryuu shrieks, only to have everyone ignore him. Alibaba pulls his boxers off while Judal and Aladdin start taking their pants off, and Hakuryuu just puts his head in his hands and gives up on stopping them.