A/N: This is silly. And should be treated as such.
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy XV. Duh. No one does. The dang game hasn't even been released yet. Honestly.
Noctis leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of the car gliding along the hills and dips in the road. Wind thundered in his ears and whipped through his already messy hair, but other than that, the vehicle was completely silent. The warmth of the afternoon sun made it hard for him to remain awake. He was on the verge of sleep, when-
"Hey, when's the date, again?"
The prince opened one eye to glare at Prompto, who was sitting next to him.
He sighed. "What date?"
Prompto's mouth formed a surprised 'o'. "What do you mean, 'what date'? Your wedding date, of course!"
"It is yet to be determined, last I heard," Ignis chimed in from the driver's seat.
"Hmm." Prompto frowned.
Gladio craned his neck to glance at the blond in the backseat. "What does it matter? At the rate we're going, there's no way we'll make it in time."
"Not for lack of trying," Ignis grumbled.
Noctis smirked and stretched. "You keep telling yourself that, Iggy, if it makes you feel better."
"But, man!" Prompto blurted out, his expression distant. "It's so hard to believe that you'll be married soon, Noct!"
Noctis' smile faded. "Tell me about it," he thought, but said nothing. Suddenly, he felt Prompto's hand on his shoulder.
"I'll be honest, dude," his friend said, earnestly. "I'm probably gonna cry."
The prince chuckled softly, knocking his hand away.
"I mean it!"
"No one doubts that you do," said Ignis.
"You know what I doubt?" Gladio spoke up, grinning. "I doubt that our little princely pal here will be able to pull off the kiss." He twisted in his seat so he could look Noctis full in the face. "I think you'll faint before you even get close to your poor bride's lips."
Noctis was in no way amused, but he didn't respond.
Prompto gave a little gasp. "That's right!" he said. "It will be your first kiss ever, huh?"
Noctis shot him an annoyed look.
"I can either confirm or deny whether His Highness has kissed a woman before," Ignis stated, trying to hide a smile. "However, at the present moment, I choose to do neither."
"Always looking out for me, eh, Ignis?"
Noctis rolled his eyes and attempted to ignore his companions' teasing by focusing on the trees zooming past his side of the car. Just when he'd begun to hope the conversation was over, he received a nudge in the ribs from Prompto.
"If you're nervous about the kiss, Noct, I can give you a few tips," the young man offered. "I've kissed quite a few girls in my time."
It was Gladio's turn to roll his eyes. "You know dogs don't count as 'girls', right?"
Prompto scrunched up his face. "Gross, Glady."
"Just makin' sure."
"Guys, can we just-" Noctis began, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"Okay, the first thing to remember," the blond interrupted, "is that she's probably just as scared as you are."
"Possibly more so," added Ignis. Noctis gaped at the driver's reflection in the rear-view mirror, shocked that he would take part such a conversation.
"Yeah!" Prompto agreed enthusiastically. "So you have to be gentle. Move really slowly." He lifted his hands like he was cupping an imaginary girl's face, and gradually lowered his head towards them. "And don't close your eyes too quickly! The last thing you want is to accidentally kiss her chin."
"No, no, you've got it all wrong!" Gladio insisted, shaking his head. "Screw that 'gentle' crap. You haven't seen the girl in, what, twelve years? You need to show her how much you've missed her. And the only way to do that is with a deep, passionate kiss."
By now Noctis' face was quite red. His lip twitched and he let out a huff, at loss for words.
Ignis cleared his throat. "Gentlemen, this topic is bordering on inappropriate," he said, with a pointed look in the rear-view mirror. "I suggest we change it."
Noctis glanced at him gratefully, and Ignis replied with a stiff nod.
Prompto sighed and sat back. "Sorry, Noct. It's just that, we know how much Lady Lunafreya means to you, and-"
"We don't want you to disappoint her," Gladio finished for him.
"Well," Noctis managed, finding his voice at last, "she didn't complain last time we kissed."
He watched as his friends went completely still, processing his statement. Then they began to react in various ways.
Prompto sputtered like a dying engine.
Gladio threw his head back, roaring with laughter.
And Ignis almost swerved out of his lane.
Victorious, the prince slumped back in his seat with a satisfied smirk, crossed his arms, and closed his eyes. And he wasn't even remotely tired.
Thanks for reading!