Disclaimer: I make no claims of owning Mass Effect or Borderlands, only the OC that appear in this fanfic. Don't sue me, I'm really poor.

A/N: It's been a while since I last played both games in this series. Although I find myself liking the characters from Borderlands a little bit more than the ones from Mass Effect. Something about characters with a crazier mind set really makes them more interesting to me.

"Awwww yeaaah!"

Tiny Tina's eyes were glossed over as she stared at the slick-ass new spaceship that Hyperion had secretly been working on. A super-secret space ship that Handsome Jack had secretly made in a really, really, extremely hard to find underground base littered with bots, traps, and empty pizza boxes located in Pandora's moon Elpis.

"Umf! Just look at dem fine ass curves on that bad momma jamma!" said the little pyscho. "I'm gettin' wet just lookin' at her."

"Ew, Tina!" said her overgrown meat cycle transport, Brick. "You're slobbering all over my head!"

Tina had spent the entire operation on top of the overly muscled man's shoulders, even while fighting for their lives and having death rained on top of them. Although, she did contribute to the battle a few times by throwing a few grenades here and there.

Actually, it was more like she was throwing explosives everywhere like confetti at a Mad Moxxi wedding. Which is to say, it got all up in everyone's faces.

"Tina, stop drooling and help us check up on the loot," said Lilith, her hand resting on those child-bearing hips of hers. "This place is a mess, not counting the mess we made on the way here. Seriously, this place is like a dump. I guess that Hyperion informant wasn't kidding when he said this place was a dumping ground for Jack's shelved and failed projects." Her face scrunched up in disgust after she stepped on a moldy slice of pizza. "Who knows what sorts of stuff that jackass left lying around this place."

Surrounding the nice, expensive looking spaceship was all sorts of junk and knick-knacks that one could probably find in a junkyard. Well, except these pile of junks were stored away by Handsome Jack himself, so they could potentially be dangerous. Not that anything at a Pandoran junkyard would be safe. It's just that the junk here might be a tad more… well, it's going to be probably worse than the regular trash in Pandora.

The large hangar they were in was a hoarder psycho's wet dream. Who knew that even Handsome Jack wasn't immune to dumping all his shit in the garage like everyone else?

A few explosions rang out from somewhere else in the base. The audible sounds of gunfire and laughter accompanied the chorus of mayhem and destruction.

"Looks like our other crew haven't finished up on their side yet," said Mordecai, setting down the scope of his sniper rifle after checking through the window on the opposite end of the base. "Doesn't look like they'll be here anytime soon. Salvador looks like he's having too much fun."

Lilith sighed.

"Well, I guess we'll have to start cleaning up—"


Immediately, the little girl on Brick's shoulder's fell back, her arms dangling towards the ground while making snoozing noises. It was a testament to how well Brick knew her that he was able to hold on to her legs as soon as she proclaimed what time it was.

"Tina!" Lilith said while looking annoyed. "You can't just call naptime anytime you don't want to help with the chores. There are a lot of things that we need your help—"

"ZzzzZZZzzzz!" snored Tina loudly. "I'mmasleepinreallydeeplyandcan'thearsyouzzzzzz."

"Aww… poor kid tuckered herself out," said Brick lovingly. "We should get her some rest."

"Ugh!" Lilith waved her arms up in surrender. "Forget it. Just set her down and start cleaning up the rest of Jack's mess." As soon as she stepped back, Lilith stepped on another moldy piece of pizza. "If he wasn't dead already, I really wonder if it would have killed him to clean up a little bit after himself."

"Well, he was a psychopathic megalomaniac," said Mordercai, "So yeah, I think he might've actually died if he cleaned up after himself."

"Is that why Tina won't help with the cleaning too?" snorted Lilith.

"Nah. She's a little psychopath, for sure, but she ain't no megalomaniac like he was." The thin hunter started rubbing his beard in thought. "Although I think she did once refer to herself as an explodomaniac, so I guess it's not completely off the table."

While the three adults started sifting through the piles of loot, garbage, junk, a kitchen sink…? Whatever. Tiny Tina opened one eye to check if the coast was clear.

"Ahhh…" Tiny Tina jumped to her feet. "Free from the Siren's call. Girl's lucky she got a damn nice booty, 'cuz her naggin' could sink ships from space."

"Now then," she cracked her fingers. "Time to find some new toys that can make some noooise! Let's see if paranoid old Jack didn't hide some of his more delectable goodies deep down in this booty." Tina eyed the docked spaceship above them and smiled. "Shiny new toys gotta be in a shiny new box."

The little girl quickly made her way up a service ladder. But before she reached the doors of the spaceship, a purple glow coming from a console on the catwalk had caught her attention.

"Oh sweet twin sisters, purple is the shizzles baby!" said Tina. "It's the color of the finer things in life."

Upon closer inspection, the source of the glow was a rough looking stone. It was a circular stone medallion with a Vault symbol on it. The etchings of the symbol glowed purple, pulsing ever so slowly.

"The hell is this supposed to be?" said Tina, shaking the strange medallion, pounding it on the console, and then biting on it. "Am I supposed to be awed by this? 'Cuz I ain't feeling awed. I'm a bit peckish for some crumpets now, though."


Lilith's voice from below had caused her to turn quickly, accidentally elbowing a switch on the console.

"…Oops." The clamps on the catwalk disengaged. She started to fall from a height that would surely kill her with a splat. "HALP! I'm too crazy to die!" she shouted to Lilith as she saw the approaching ground that was littered with spiky, pointy, and particularly hard looking junk of Handsome Jack… junk as in garbage or scrap. Not the people kind of junk. That would be gross.

"Tina!" Lilith saw this and quickly made use of her Siren powers to try and teleport her little friend to safety.

Just as Lilith's power reached its target, the stone medallion had fallen in front of Tiny Tina. It seemed to have caused a reaction, because in the next second a purple darkness exploded from it. The shockwave blew hard against Lilith, knocking her off her feet.

In the next few seconds, Mordecai was trying to help the siren up off the ground.

"What the hell happened?" he asked with concern. "Was there some kind of trap or something?"

"I-what?" Lilith shook her head as she tried to remember what did happen. "Ugh, my head hurts…" Steadying herself on her feet, she found that another moldy piece of pizza was stuck to her boot. "Fuck that stupid shit Jack."

"Hey," said Brick while looking around, "Where's Tina? She's not where I left her."

"Oh my god, Tina!" shouted Lilith as she finally remembered. She ran over to the spot where she had been falling from.

"Slowdown, Lilith!" said Mordecai as he and Brick tried to catch up. They found her sifting through the junk and debris on the ground. "What happened?!"

"I… I don't know what happened," answered Lilith. She had just finished looking over the area, but couldn't find a trace of the tiny psychopath. "She fell and I tried to help her, but then…"

The siren fell silent as she recalled the object that fell with her friend. Her gaze noticed a familiar faint purple glow from underneath an empty pizza box.

"What is that?" said Mordecai.

"I'm not sure," said Lilith after taking the object into her hand. "But I bet you it will help us find where Tina is." She tightened her grip on the only clue they had.

"Seanne, can you hear me?"

Commander Shepard addressed the woman lying on the ground. He, Liara, and EDI had just finished off some Cerberus troops in the area and had found the young woman.

"How do you know my name?" said Seanne, stumbling to her feet.

"I saved your brother," said Sheperd while both Liara and EDI secured the area. "He's with Kahlee Sanders at security. Can you get to her?"

"Yeah, I just need to rest for a minute. Thank you."

The young woman seemed still a little bit weak to Shepard, however a nod from Liara told him that she would be fine.

"Don't push yourself too much," he said to her. "We'll get you and your brother out once we rescue the other students."

"Wait!" Seanne called out before he could sprint off. "There's a kid… she ran off somewhere when I told her that she needed to hide away from Cerberus."

"A kid?" asked Shepard, a deep concern showing on his face. "One of the students?"

"No," Seanne shook her head. "I've never seen her here before, and Grissom Academy doesn't have anyone that young here. She might be a family member of someone visiting here." She looked slightly confused. "She's… pretty hard to forget with the way she was dressed."

Shepard nodded and assured the young woman that they would find the little girl. There was no way he was going to let another child die. Not while he was on this mission.

As Shepard and his team continued on with their mission, meeting up with Jack and the other students to fight off waves of Cerberus troops, a certain little girl walked up to a lone Cerberus engineer fixing up the damaged mech suit he had been using.

"Whatcha doin'?"

The Cerberus engineer quickly raised his gun and pointed it at her, before slowly lowering it down as he saw that it was just one little girl.

"Geez, kid," He said with a sigh of relief. "Don't go sneaking up on me like that. I almost-uh, never mind. Are you one of the students here?"

"What do you think, mister?" Tiny Tina smiled at him.

"Hmm…" The Cerberus engineer wasn't really sure. The kid looked very, very weird to him. However, they all had orders to capture the students for indoctrination. And that, he could be sure, would be what he was supposed to do. "Stay right there. I'm going to call for someone to come pick you up."

"Sure thing, mister!" said Tina. "Do you mind if I take out my teapot, though?"

"A teapot?" The Cerberus engineer didn't think much about it. He assumed it was probably just for play. "Sure. Why not? You can make me some tea too." He turned his back on her and proceed to activate his coms. "This is CE-437, I've got a possible student at my location in—"


"Some tea, my good sir?"

"Huh?" The Cerberus engineer turned to find that he was now staring at the barrel of a pistol decorated immensely with pink hearts on it.

With a single pull of the trigger, a two-round burst of corrosive acid shot blew and melted the Cerberus engineer's head off. His body fell down on the ground while the green acid oozed from whatever was left of his head.

"Too strong, sir?" said Tina, spinning the pistol on her finger. "I'd offer you a teabag, but a fine, delicate lady such as myself would find it too crude to do so." The only reply was a sizzle of the acid and a jerk of the body's leg. "Now please do be quiet and enjoy your tea."

Tina moved over to the body and scanned his coms with her ECHO device. With it, she was able to overhear the conversations between the Cerberus troops in the area. And she did NOT like what she was hearing. Especially about trying to capture as many students as they can, even if they had to kill a few.

"Bad guys all around, huh? Poop." Tina started tapping her lips as she tried to think of a way on out of there. "Whatsa girl gotta do to stops gettin' herself gangbanged?"

She started to pace back and forth about the question.

There were lots of ways. A lot of them very explosive ways. She just needed to pick the best options right now. And then, the idea hit her… literally. It had hit her on the head.

"Ow!" Tina rubbed the sore spot on her head. "How very rude of people to leave their—huh… yeah, this'll work."

A mad sparkle gleamed in Tiny Tina's eyes.


"Liara, cast your singularity at any groups that come too close. EDI make sure to overload their shields as quick as you can."

Commander Shepard was conducting orders to his teammates in a calm manner. After rescuing David and the rest of the students, he had once again met up with Jack and her students to escape the academy. Unfortunately for them, Cerberus seemed intent on keeping them from doing just that.

"I gotta say, Shepard," said Garrus' voice in his coms, "This isn't working out as we planned."

The Turian was pinned down in another corner of the room along with Javik and James. They weren't able to join up together completely with Shepard and the rest, but at least they were in the same area.

"We had a plan?!" Shepard could hear James Vega over the turian's coms shouting through gunfire. "And here I thought we came here just to kick some Cerberus ass!"

"That is part of the plan, Lieutenant!" answered back Garrus. "We just didn't think there'd be so much of it!"

"If you have time to talk, you have time to kill," said Javik, putting a round straight into a Cerberus centurion. "And there is plenty to kill to silence all of you for some time."

"Is that how Protheans inspire their people in combat or is that just you?" James said sarcastically.

A boom exploded nearby due to James throwing a grenade at some Cerberus guardians pushing their way through to them. It looked like all Cerberus troops were finally concentrating all their forces into their location.

Shepard and his people just needed to hold out a little longer. While they were under heavy pressure, the Cerberus forces weren't exactly gaining any ground due to their fierce resistance and help from Jack and her biotic students.

"Okay everyone, we've got this. So long as we—"


"Yeah, what is it, EDI?"

"I'm detecting several signatures that is identical to that of Cerberus Atlas mechs heading our way."

Shepard thought things just got a little bit more complicated right now. He could already see the Cerberus forces adjusting their positions for one final full-on assault. Having mechs backing them up would really put his people for quite a fight.

"Are you damn serious?!" shouted Jack. "Please tell me you've just learned to joke around, EDI, because you seriously need to relearn it! Can you see me laughing? Because I ain't laughing right now!"

"No, I have not," said EDI. "Although I will put that in my list of priorities when we get back to the Normandy, if you so wish."

The ground shook. Everyone could feel it. Out of the main entrance to the atrium, Shepard could see two Atlas mechs starting to walk into the battleground. As Shepard and his team knew all too well, these mechs come equipped with a powerful rocket launcher, mass accelerator cannon, and a gross amount of shields and armor plating to shrug off attacks.

"Goddess protect us…" whispered Liara beside Shepard.

Suddenly, an explosion came from one of the mechs. It fell down, a smoking hole rising from behind it. The barrel of the mech behind it switched to the next one beside it and fired at the cockpit, breaking the glass. The claw arm reached into the other mech's cockpit and tore out its pilot. It threw the pilot hard into the ground like a football player making a touchdown, then promptly stepped on him with a crunch of its heavy metal foot.

"Heeeereee's TINA!" said the little girl piloting the mech. "Are you ready for some pain, scuttlebutts? Because I'm here to: BRING. IT. ON."

"I'm not really sure if your goddess answered your prayers correctly, Liara," said Shepard.

Liara could only stare dumbfounded at the unexpected appearance of a raging mech piloted by a maniacally laughing human child.

"Yo! Check out my ride, bitches! Tiny Tina ain't so tiny now!"

Tina began blowing shit up. Same as usual. Only she was a lot bigger and badder, with a mech suit to pilot.

"You want some of this?! I'm asking, you want somma dis?!" Tiny Tina flexed the robotic arms of her mech, asking them to come at her. She paused for a second after a Cerberus guardian just tried to melee her with his shield. "Dude… are you for real?"

"I… I don't know what I was thinking!" came the trooper's excuse. "I panicked!"

"Catch-a-Ride, BITCH!"

"Holy hell!" Jack ducked as the Cerberus guardian went sailing just above her head after getting booted by Tiny Tina. "That girl's insane!"

"That's a pretty big deal coming from her, Shepard," said Garrus over their coms.

"Makin' it raaaaaaaiin!" said Tina in unbridled glee, booting Cerberus troops left and right.

"Whatever the case is," said Shepard, "Let's mop them up and finish this!"

The Cerberus troops quickly became disorganized as they were now sandwiched with Shepard and his team at their front, and a psychotic trigger happy little girl with one of their mechs at their back. They tried to take cover and recover, alas it was not meant to be.

After blowing up almost every single trace of Cerberus forces in the area, Shepard and his team were now awkwardly face to face with the little girl who helped break them out of a jam. It was clear to everyone left alive that the little girl was more than a little unstable. Suffice to say, it was a pretty tense meeting… especially since Tiny Tina leveled her cannon on Shepard's face.

"So you guys the good guys, or do I gotta pop more caps?"

"We're the good guys," Shepard said without flinching.

"Awesome!" Tiny Tina dropped down from the cockpit and gave Shepard a hug. "Got any crumpets? 'Cuz I feels like I haven't eatens in FOREVAZ!"

"I think I ordered a few packs of those for the doc," said James.

"Cool, cool, cool, cool!" said Tina. "So, we goin' or what?!"

"James, Garrus," said Shepard, "Make sure to get everyone on a shuttle back to the ship. The rest of you secure their passage. We don't want any more surprises coming from Cerberus."

James tried to usher Tina to the shuttles, but he instead got saddled by her and turned him into her meat transport. He tried to get her to get down from him, but it didn't really work. He just went the rest of the way to the shuttles like that.

"So Jack…" Shepard caught his old comrade before she left with her students. "Is that girl part of the student body here? If so, I have to say the Alliance is really digging deep this time."

"Tiny and crazy?" scoffed Jack. "I've never seen her in my life, and I know all the students here at the academy. Sure she's not another surprise coming from Cerberus?"

That couldn't be discounted. Cerberus was all too good at infiltrating their agents into almost anywhere in the whole galaxy. But Shepard's gut told him that "Tiny Tina" was not Cerberus infiltrator material.

"She's a surprise alright," said Shepard. "But I don't think Cerberus has anything to do with her. I don't know who she is, but we'll find out and help her get back to where she belongs."

"Careful Shepard," warned Jack. "I've seen some crazies before, and that girlie there? She just made it to the very top of my list. And just pointing out a fact, the former top boss of that list was the Illusive Man."

He nodded seriously. "Noted."

"You wanted to see me, doc?"

Shepard knocked on the walls of the infirmary to announce his presence to Dr. Karin Chakwas, the SSV Normandy's doctor. The good doctor looked engrossed in her work looking at her vid screen.

"Commander," she greeted. "Good of you to come so soon. I'd have thought your report to Anderson would have taken longer."

"Wanted to keep things short," said Shepard. "You know, direct to the point with only an occasional joke in between. Hard to keep have a full conversation with the whole Reaper invasion going on in his side."

"Right, of course," nodded the doctor.

"So what was it you wanted to talk to me about?"

Shepard knew that if the doctor needed to call for him, then the matter to discuss wouldn't be so light. Doctor Chakwas was a good woman to talk with on occasion, but she is very strict and serious about her work.

"It's in regards to one of the people you've recently picked up at Grissom Academy." Dr. Chakwas sighed. "I've done some routine tests to check on everyone's health to make sure they're all fine. The results for all of them came out okay, aside from those grazed by some gunfire…"


"But," stressed the doctor, "There is that little girl that has me more than a little concerned."

Shepard frowned. He knew exactly who the doctor was referring to.

"I think I know who you're talking about," he answered. "Was there anything wrong with her health?"

"Not physically," stated the good doctor. "Well… aside from some old injuries here and there, like scars from cuts and little things like that. And the way she's dressed? Goodness, even the beggars in the deepest parts of Omega look better off than her. Aside from those, she appears to be a healthy young little girl."

"I can take a wild guess and say you're worried about her state of mind?"

"Frankly, I wonder if you didn't perhaps pick her up from a mental health facility while I wasn't paying attention." Shepard could tell the doctor looked a little more drained than usual. "Whilst diagnosing her for any physical or psychological trauma, I have concluded that she displays no less than five signs of various mental disorders within the first two minutes I spent with her. Her verbal mannerisms switch frequently. She has a strange mask splotched with real blood on her head. Oh, and I can't forget that the stick of dynamite she had strapped to her waist that she said was part of 'The latest in Pandoran fashion' was actually fully functional."

"She had a bomb on her?!" Shepard had thought it was just a toy, since such things were only shown in cartoons from a long time ago. Heck, not even some of the humans with him had recognized it.

"We've managed to confiscate it from her," assured the doctor. "It took some convincing… and quite a few of my special ordered crumpets." She made a displeased frown thinking about it. "Even after that, it was all we could get from her. She is the type of person I would never leave sharp objects around. And yet, we cannot convince her to give us any more of her 'loot' as she so answered after warning us that she would cut us if we didn't stop pestering her."

"I see…"

Shepard can understand that the doctor wasn't just worried for the little girl, but for the rest of the people in the Normandy as well. Based on everything he was told just now; it was a very legitimate concern. The safety of the crew was something Doctor Chakwas would never take lightly.

"It'll only be until we reach the Citadel, doc," said Shepard. "EDI is having a hard time looking up info about her on the extranet, but I'm sure I'll probably find something in the Spectre database if she hasn't found anything else by then."

"And what if you still can't find anything, commander?" said Doctor Chakwas. "What will we do with her then?"

"We'll drop her off at the social services near the Presidium." Shepard was stoic. "We're out to save the galaxy right now. And as much as I'd like to help everyone along the way, I can't jeopardize our mission if she is proving too much for us to handle. People are dying in droves to the Reapers as we speak."

Doctor Chakwas nodded in agreement.

It would seem cold of him, but the doctor approved of it. They can't stop what they were doing every time someone needed help. The whole galaxy needs their help right now. Taking care of a psychotic little girl would be the least efficient way to manage their time.

"I'm glad to hear that, commander. I know you want nothing more than to help those in need, but a bleeding heart right now is not what's going to stop our extinction."

"Just curious, but where is she right now?"

"Ah…" Doctor Chakwas looked reluctant to speak. "I believe she was interested in seeing Liara, at least that's what I think she had said. I may be fluent in more than a few alien languages myself, but even I can only understand so much."

Speaking in slang was bad enough to her, speaking in crazy slang would just downright break her.

"Hey there, gurl." Tiny Tina stepped on up to Liara, her eyebrows going up and down. "Are all blue aliens as fine as you, or is that just you?"

"Uhm…" Liara was at a complete loss on what to say. She had never in her hundred years, give or take a few years, ever been hit on like this. Let alone by a human child. One whose age would even barely qualify as a baby to Asari standards.

"The future is quite disturbing," commented Javik who was passing by.

"Ahahahah!" Off to the side, Jack found the whole thing quite amusing. "Oh, this is great! The kid's got the hots for you, Liara!"

"Will you look at that," said Garrus. "Shepard was right. Looks like it didn't take me that long before I could agree on something with the Prothean." An amused grin was on his face as he too watched from the sidelines. "First it was the Reapers, and now this."

"What, haven't seen an Asari before, kid?" said Jack, coming up closer to Tina.

"Calamari?" Tina tilted her head in question. "Not really a big eater of seafood, but for her I'd make an exceeeeption! Umf!"

"Gross, kid." Jack didn't think anybody on this ship would ever be as offensive as her. It looked like times really are a-changing. "Really gross."

"Hey sugar," Tina winked at her, "Don't be jelly. Plenty of TNT to go around."

"I thought you said she gave up her bomb already?!" Garrus quickly looked worriedly to Jack for confirmation.

"Calm thy tits, strange birdie," said Tina. "What I mean is TNT as in Tiny 'N Tina. You know? It's 'cuz I'm DYN-O-MITE!"

Garrus wasn't the only one sighing in relief. Everyone was well informed that the little girl hadn't been completely forthcoming with giving up any of her stuff to them.

"So, what do you say, pretty lady?" Tina continued. "You, me, and the blue babe could play house. House of blues all day and night, you feel me?"

"I... uh, I forgot I needed to check up to see how Rodriguez was doing." Jack quickly slipped on out of there, while Garrus was struggling to hold his laughter down.

"C'mon, gurl!" shouted Tina at her fast retreating back. "You know you want this! Sirens always give Tiny Tina some love!"

"I was never really around children much on the job," said Garrus to Liara, "But are all human children like this? If so, I'd really hate to see Shepard when he was her age."

With Jack gone, there was no one else to distract Tina from laying it on thick at Liara.

"Guess it's just you and me now, blue lady," said Tina, still unperturbed. "Wanna bounce back to your crib and introduce me to your species? We all be at peace if everyone shared more love in the world."

"Ahaha…" Liara was all for interspecies love and all, but this situation was making her very uncomfortable. "You know Turians also have a very intriguing culture." Her Turian friend was quick to shut up from his chuckling now. "I'm sure Garrus would be more than thrilled to tell you all about his people."

Tina looked over at Garrus, an eyebrow raised, looking him up and down.

"What you have to know about Turians, is that we have always held steady in battles," said Garrus, "No retreat, no surrender. Well, I think that's a load of varen shit." He went over to the ship elevator, pressed for down, and entered. "Retreat now and live to fight another day. Hope that's enlightened you both, Liara!" he said as the doors closed.

In an unexpected display of lost composure, Liara shouted back, "And I suppose Turian loyalty to their comrades counts for varen shit as well?!"

Liara was now left all alone with Tiny Tina.

"So… where were we?" smiled Tina. "I think we was at the part where you were about to let me crash at your crib?"

"Sorry to interrupt in on your conversation, Liara," said EDI's voice from above them, "But I—"

"Oh thank the goddess!" Liara never felt so overjoyed at someone interrupting on her. "EDI, whatever it is, I'll be on it immediately!"

"But it is not—"

"I said immediately!"

"Understood." If EDI was surprised by Liara's behavior right now, she did not show it. "Specialist Traynor had requested your presence for some help in regards to matters on gathering extranet information."

"I'm sorry, Tina," said Liara, who couldn't really entirely fake looking sorry at all. "But you'll have to excuse me. We are at war and duty calls."

"Is cool." Tina just played with twisting her leg forwards and back. "Maybe next time?"

"Uh… sure." Liara couldn't really say no. Crazy or not, it was still hard to completely put down a little one's request. But at least for now she can get away scot-free.

Tiny Tina waved goodbye to Liara as she took the elevator to the bridge. Something about her smile just then kind of unnerved the Asari for a moment. As if she shouldn't leave her unsupervised. But then, she remembered who'd be supervising her if she didn't leave.

As the doors to the elevators closed shut, Tiny Tina asked, "So, EDI, right?"

"…Yes?" EDI has been studying on human behaviors for some time since her creation, but this was still uncharted territory for her. Speaking to a human child, that is. "Is there something I can help you with, Miss Tina?"

"Since you're a robot and stuff, I betcha' know a lot, huh?"

"I am an Enhanced Defense Intelligence, a quantum blue box AI that functions as this ship's electronic warfare defense." As digital as her voice was, there was a hint of pride in her words. "Any knowledge not found in my database systems, I can quickly get through the extranet and other sources."

"Sweeet," Tina began to rub her hands together. "How 'bout doin' me a solid and help a girl out?"

It was at this time that EDI understood what the other crew members meant about finding the little girl a bit unnerving. There was just something in her eyes that her programs aren't able to fully translate.

"I'll invite you to my tea party if you do."

"A tea party?" And just like that EDI's curiosity was hooked. She knew what they were, but found that a chance for her to experience such an event would be highly unlikely. "I… am curious on how one would conduct a human social event with an AI."

"Please," Tina casually waived off. "You can invite just about anyone to a tea party. Heck, most of my guests aren't even human, usually. Living and breathing are optional for my parties. Well, not like they leave with those options afterwards anyway…"


"Come on," said Tina insistently. "I'll even give you a plus oooonee. You can invite someone else to go along with you if you're too shy."

"Very well."

EDI just had one person in mind. It would be a good excuse to engage in a social setting through invitation by a third party.


Here is another story that my head got wrapped around in. I'm sorry I'm a serial writer. I can't help it when the muse jumps around every time I get exposed to new stories and such.