I would also like to say that I really do like the criticism. I like to know what I do wrong in order to fix it. The complements are nice too. But the one thing I cannot stand is when someone reviews and says my work is bad or that I am a bad author, or generalizes me with the population of bad authors. If you don't like my work, that's okay, but it would be nice to know why. I'll tell you now that I resent flamers, I only ever got one and that person did wind up apologizing and giving me the best bit of criticism I've had, so please feel free to criticize.
Charmed as a Bleeding Rose
The title of this story has a very deep meaning, and I want to try and explain it to you a bit so that you have a better understanding of the story. Each part of my meaning will come into action somewhere in my story
Rose, itself, has a double meaning. In one scenario, the white rose, it represents the goddess, beautiful in one form forever, intriguing, yet nearly impossible to get near enough to understand. The goddess' form, I am talking about is Hermione, daughter of one of the most beautiful women ever known.
The other scenario, the black rose, is the beauty you must observe from afar, for every rose has its thorns and this rose is by far the most dangerous and the rarest. Unlike others that rot away, this rose stands powerful and prominent in all the dark days, alone perhaps, but strong, never giving in. Dark and mysterious he looms, allowing you close for a moment before his thorns pierce your very heart. But as your heart bleeds, as does his, for at the heart of this rose, lies another.
Now as I can't explain too much of this to you without giving away too much of the plot, I'll allow you to figure out the rest, but remember, in the title, look for double meaning, opposite meanings, and the things you wouldn't usually think of, and that may explain a good bit.
To begin . . .
Charmed as a Bleeding Rose
By: Allore NightShadow
Hermione locked herself away in her books as she had done all her life. She was reading a muggle book called The Chronicles of Crestomanci, a very long novel, but not too hard. She had already finished all her homework for the next too weeks and she had studied so much that she was confident she could recite her notes down to the word.
Finishing up the book, Hermione placed the book down on her bedside table and raced to make it to Potions class directly before Professor Snape closed the door.
"Miss Granger, I would appreciate it if you would be on time. Ten points from Gryffindor and next time you are tardy, it'll be a detention." Sneered Professor Snape. "Now take a seat."
Hermione nodded her consent and moved as quickly as she could so that Professor Snape wouldn't decided to change his mind and give her the detention anyway.
Hermione found herself tripping over one of the Slytherin's feet, Goyle she assumed and then, right before she hit the ground, caught by another. Draco Malfoy. He let her go not two seconds later, but Hermione only fell a few inches so she didn't get hurt. She scrambled to pick up her books and, once she got them all, Hermione took her usual seat beside Harry and Ron, her face as red as Ron's hair was.
"Filthy Mudblood," She heard Draco Malfoy mumble. "Now I need to go burn my robes."
"Now that we can get started . . .by the way, 20 points to Slytherin for helping a fellow student" Severus Snape said to Draco.
And so Professor Snape begun with the lesson. Several times throughout the lesson, Hermione caught Draco Malfoy looking at her with confusion clearly written on his face, but he never said anything and looked away each time Hermione saw him. It was strange to see Draco Malfoy with any kind of emotion on his face, let alone confusion.
"Miss Granger! Pay attention in class! 20 points from Gryffindor and a detention. Keep it up and you'll be at my mercy for the rest of the week."
She got sympathy looks from everyone in Gryffindor, while the Slytherins merely smirked. They liked to see the Gryffindors pushed around by their head of house, Severus Snape.
Hermione actually had no idea what they were doing in class that day, and if not for the fact that Harry was actually paying attention and had his book open to the page with the instructions for the Atillamore potion, Hermione would have been completely lost.
"This potion that we will be working on today," Severus Snape begun. "Is a very temperamental potion. It will, if brewed correctly, send the drinker to were they will be or were they were, exactly 1 week from when the potion was brewed. The effect if taken before or after the week it is made is still not recorded. Since this is such a advanced potion, it will be destroyed after made, except for the one vile that will be tested by one person of each group six day after complete. The making of this potion should test your potion making skills to the maximum. Now please choose a partner and begin."
Hermione looked towards Harry and Ron too see that they were already paired off. The Fate's really had it out for her, Hermione decided, seeing that Neville Longbottem was the only Gryffindor not yet paired up. Hermione sighed before picking up her books and trudging over to sit next to Neville.
"Hi Hermione." He said.
"Hello Neville." Hermione said and placed her books out on the desk, then, not bothering to wait for Neville, went up to get the right amount of each potion ingredient. Who in their right mind would trust Neville to do that.
And so they began to work on the potion. Hermione managed to stop Neville from blowing up their cauldron four times, and still managed to finish the potion with perfect results.
Looking around, Hermione saw that their potion was a slightly deeper shade of blue than everyone else's.
"Neville, how much dragons blood did you put in here?" She asked.
"A teaspoon. . . I think" Hermione groaned in frustration.
When Professor Snape came around to inspect their potion, he stopped and looked a little closer at theirs, eyes drawn in concentration before shaking her head and moving on to Harry and Ron's potion.
By the end of the class Professor Snape had taken off 40 points from Gryffindor for the potions that were wrong and gave 50 points to Slytherin for the ones they got right.
"Once each group brings me a vile sample of their potion, class is dismissed." Professor Snape finally said. "And Miss Granger, I would like to see you before you leave."
Hermione filled two vials with the potion while Professor Snape wasn't looking, sliding one in her pocket and labeling the other before handing it to Neville to bring up to the Potions Master.
Hermione had learned over the years that the potions that they made in class would often come into use eventually, and even if they didn't have a use just yet, it would save a lot of work when or if it was needed. Plus, she wouldn't need to sneak into Snape's stores again, a very dangerous act in itself.
She waited until everyone left the class before she went up to Professor Snape's desk.
He looked at her, a dark look in his eyes. "You are to come down to my classroom directly after dinner in order to serve your detention. You are dismissed."
Hermione turned and hurried out of the room, and she hadn't gotten more than 2 yards away from the room before Harry and Ron fell into step beside her.
"What did that bat faced greasy git say?" Ron asked. Hermione looked at him and her disapproval showed on her face.
"Ron! Don't speak like that about a teacher. Professor Snape is brilliant, besides, all the brilliant ones have to have something wrong with them. Just look at Professor Dumbledore. He's a bit off in the head while Professor Snape has a . . . mood disorder, Depression, . . . something along those lines."
"But everyone thinks your brilliant and there's nothing wrong with you." Harry mentioned.
Then Ron decided to add his two cents. "What are you talking about Harry? You and me both know that no one is as bossy as Herm . . ." Ron stopped abruptly as Harry's hand found its was to the side of his head. "I mean that your absolutely right Harry! There is nothing wrong with our Hermione. Hermione, your theory must be wrong." Ron grinned sheepishly.
"Oh, shove it Ron. By the way, what were you doing meeting your girlfriend in a closet. You know the one near the Hufflepuff common room. I could have sworn I heard some groaning." Hermione was the one to grin now, as Ron turned as red as his hair, which is pretty darn red.
"Well, we were, um, you know, yea. He he he." He mumbled. That was about all he was able to get out.
The three made their way into the great hall and into their regular seats at the very end of the table. Hermione on one side, the side facing Slytherin Table and Harry and Ron on the other side.
Hermione ate her dinner, then rushed off to the library to take out 'Moste Potente Potions'. (Being the head girl, she was allowed access to the restricted section.) She put the book in her bag and ran off, only to make it to the dungeons about five minutes late.
She caught her breath and then knocked on the door to the potions classroom.
"Enter!" Said the voice that she knew so well, the voice of her teacher, and the person she most admired. (Not that she would ever let anyone know that.)
Hermione entered the room and put her things on the first desk before going to stand in front of Professor Snape.
"Miss Granger, your late." He stated.
"Yes, I know. I'm sorry Professor, I was in the library trying to get out a book and it took me a little longer than expected." Hermione said and gave a downcast look.
"May I ask what book it was that kept you from coming to your detention on time." It was more of a command than a request.
Hermione, being the obedient person she was, immediately took out the book and handed it to her professor.
Severus Snape looked at the book with a strange expression on his face, though he quickly covered it up. Nodding, he handed Hermione back the book.
"Don't expect to be excused from being late next time. I want you to organize my stores. There are already in alphabetical order and I want them to stay in that order. Take everything off the shelves on wipe them down, then as you put them back, replace any faulty labels and write a list of any supplies I am low on. I trust you can handle this?"
Hermione nodded and set to her task.
Severus Snape's private stores were even larger than she had first thought. She had a good chance to see all the ingredients in the stores. The re- labeling and writing what ingredients he was low on didn't take long at all, Hermione being a naturally organized person and all. Within an hour, Hermione was back in front of Professor Snape, asking what he wanted her to do for the rest of the detention.
Professor Snape thought about it. He didn't actually have anything planned, which was an oddity for him. Severus decided that it was time to take up the headmasters suggestion.
"Miss Granger please follow me." And Severus Snape stood up and swept out of the room.
It was so abruptly that he left that Hermione just stood staring for a moment. Then when she came to her senses, she ran out after Professor Snape, knowing that if she fell behind, she would most likely loose him.
Seeing his billowing black robes retread around a corner, Hermione raced to catch up. Severus Snape went deeper and deeper into the dungeons until he abruptly pulled to a halt, and Hermione, not having as good balance as she could have had, was unable to stop and went crashing forward.
Professor Snape moved out of Hermione's path as she fell, but at the last second, reached out, grabbed her and up righted her.
"Miss Granger, try and keep your balance. The task I am going to have you do is not a task to be taken lightly. Clumsiness will get you seriously injured. Understood?"
Hermione nodded meekly, already embarrassed by her behavior. She didn't see why she should be, seeing as falling and tripping were very common things, but Professor Snape had a way about him that made you regret even the smallest mistake.
Severus faced the painting he was standing in front of.
"I seek entrance." He said. A eerie voice replayed to him. "Password?"
And the painting opened up to a very large, but empty room, with only a off white carpet covering the entirety of the floor. There were four doors leading off from the room. Severus went over and opened two of them.
One of the two rooms was filled with staffs, swords, knives of more sizes and materials imaginable. The other door had a much larger variety of weapons. Everything from blackjacks and clubs to chains and Chinese throwing stars.
"Miss Granger, I want you to clean each and every one of these weapons." Severus Snape said, purposely interrupting her thoughts.
"What?!" Hermione yelled. "That'll take forever!"
"And? Miss Granger, may I remind you that this is punishment for constant interruption and a wondering attention in my class. Perhaps this little job will teach you to focus."
Hermione grumbled about something or another.
"What was that?"
"Good. Begin now. I shall come and inform you when you are able to leave." And Severus Snape swept out of the room. Hermione had to stifle a giggle. He looked incredible like a great big flapping bat as he walked out of the room.
Severus didn't leave right away. He wanted to test his theory. He waited and watched Hermione under cover of the shadows as she went into the first room and began to pick up and examine each weapon as she cleaned. He could tell that they intrigued her. It was exactly as he had hoped. He went back to his office for an hour and a half before going back to collect Hermione.
Hermione didn't even see Severus Snape come in, she was so into the work, but she jumped into the air as soon as he announced his presence.
"Miss Granger." He waited for her to put everything away before continuing. "I will. allow you to use these rooms when ever you have the need. For privacy if you so wish it. Through the other doors are a study and a bathroom." He pointed to the two remaining doors leading from the room. The he walked over and locked the two rooms with the weapons.
Hermione looked at Severus as if he was crazy. Why was he being so . . .so . . . nice wasn't the word. Cunning perhaps. That was probably it, he was setting her up for something
"Um, thanks Professor." She said uncertainly.
"When you leave, be sure to state your destination, otherwise you will end up in the headmaster's office, and I don't think he'll appreciate that." Severus waited for Hermione to get up and leave, but she seemed shell shocked, so he added another comment. "Miss Granger, if you insist not leaving, I shall be forced to give you another detention for being out after curfew."
That did it. Hermione blinked a few times and walked quickly toward the door. About to open it, Hermione remembered what Professor Snape had just said.
"Gryffindor common room." She stated, then opened the door.
It was as if she had just walked in from the Fat Lady's portrait. Looking around, Hermione realized that it was the Fat Lady's portrait. Somehow the door she left led her directly to this entrance. It was ingenious.
Ron looked up from his chess game. He was currently playing Seamus and beating him horribly.
"So Hermione" He said, moving his pawn to d4, "How was the greasy git. I'll beat him up for you, just give me a reason." He grinned, then moved his knight.
"Check Mate." He stated, then turned back to Hermione.
"Ron, you couldn't beat up a ferret." Hermione said. Then she began to walk up the steps towards the Head Girls room.
"Hey, I resent that! It's not my fault they bite!" Ron yelled at Hermione's retreating back. Seconds later, he heard the door to the head girls room close behind Hermione.
A/N- Well what do you think? Good start or not? I seriously want to know. Tell me anything you think I should change of if any of my characters are OOC. I will go back and change it to make the story better. All in all, I think this is a pretty good start.
Just let me point out that Draco Malfoy did have a personal reason for helping Hermione. All will be reveled latter.
By the way, I am looking for a beta reader, so if anyone is interested, please tell me so.
Please compliment or critique.