A/N: Sorry for not publishing any stories lately. It's mostly because my stories generally go unseen. I cannot stress enough: posting reviews and giving suggestions motivate me to write more. Nobody has to write reviews but I greatly appreciate it if it is done.
Well, here's the story (I decided, for this story, to write it all at once instead of chapter format). Enjoy!
Mr. Teacherman was standing in front of the class teaching some history junk. "The Egyptians built pyramids in the ancient times. These pyramids were made of stone and it took hard work and persistence to build them. This is because stone is heavy and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah…."
Johnny's boredom was killing him. "Ohhh my gosssshhhh. Nobody gives a flying horse butt!"
The teacher turned to Johnny. "Well, too bad!" Mr. Teacherman said. "By the way, there's a huge math test tomorrow, and it covers functions, graphs, rate of change, inequalities, multi-step equations, polynomials, geometrical shapes and angles, exponential notation…"
*–~Two hours and four seconds later~–*
"…negative exponents, and much more stuff! So you all better study. Class dismissed."
"Wow. Just great," Johnny said.
"I'm on page 12 of 4,356,233 and I'm stuck on Number 82 darn it!" Johnny said, working on his homework at his desk.
"Don't worry; this will all pass eventually and everything will be great again," Dukey said.
A ding sound went off in Johnny's mind. "Idea!"
"Oh no," Dukey said.
"What if I could make problems, like homework, just fly away? Or better yet, make ourselves float and levitate! Gravity changer!" Johnny said.
"Woah, slow down," Dukey said. "I don't fully get what you're saying."
"You will soon," Johnny assured. "To the lab!"
Dukey sighed as they went to the lab. When they got there, Johnny cracked the code (the code couldn't be any more obvious: "gil") and entered the lab.
"Hey, that's weird," Johnny said. "Susan and Mary aren't here."
"I bet they're here, but it's just that we can't see them," Dukey said.
"Yeah, whatever. Anyway, I need something that changes gravity," Johnny said, looking around. It only took a few seconds of looking around to spot the wanted invention. "Oh, look! There it is on that table," Johnny said, pointing at an invention called the "Gravity Changer 4000."
They went up to it and Johnny reached out a hand to grab it, but Dukey stopped him.
"Johnny, wait. This doesn't seem right," Dukey said. "This is a trap. Once you grab it, alarms will go off. Or even worse, you might get electrocuted! Then Susan and Mary will say, 'Did you really think that we were just going to let you take that?'"
As always, Johnny didn't listen and took the invention anyway. As a result, Dukey held his paw up and counted down from 3 with it.
"It's a little late, that's why," Dukey said.
"No, it's not," Johnny said.
More inaction and awkward silences.
Dukey looked around. He saw no traps nor did he hear any alarms. "Unbelievable."
"I'd hate to tell you 'I told you so'…oh, who am I kidding? I love saying it. I told you so!" Johnny said.
"Hey, that's what I say!" Dukey said.
"Yeah, but I never got to say it," Johnny said.
"Okay, whatever, let's got out of here," Dukey said.
They exited the lab and closed the door without any problems.
"I can't believe that you effortlessly stole their invention with no problems or obstructions whatsoever," Dukey said.
"I can't believe it either. But what matters most right now is that we have the Gravity Changer 4000," Johnny said.
Dukey thought of a bunch of negative outcomes of using the invention. "What matters more than that is the manipulation of gravity is bad and dangerous! Especially when you're doing it."
"Pff. Don't be a baby," Johnny said.
Dukey shot him a dirty look.
"This is going to be good," Johnny said, staring at the invention and smiling.
Johnny and Dukey were standing outside of the house, waiting for the bus.
"I wonder how this invention works," Johnny said, examining the device.
The invention is large in size and takes the shape of a gun. It has a trigger; a small lever labeled "Gravitational Intensity" with the words "maximum," "minimum," and numbers ranging from 2 through 9 between the words beside that lever; words that say "Direction of Gravitational Force" above six buttons: "Up," "Down," "Left," "Right," "Forward," and "Backward"; and a scope for aiming. Johnny perceived "maximum" as the tenth level of intensity and "minimum" as the first intensity level.
Dukey was looking at the invention as well. "Wow, the buttons are actually labeled unlike a lot of your sisters' inventions."
"Yeah, now with this invention, I won't screw anything up," Johnny said happily.
"'Anything?' Yeah, because the labeling of buttons solves everything," Dukey said sarcastically.
The bus arrived to where Johnny was standing. "See ya, fuzzy buddy. I'm off to have a perfect day at school!" he said before getting on.
A negative, yet possibly true, thought lingered in Dukey's mind: Yeah, a perfect day that will go horribly wrong.
Everyone was quiet on the bus until Bumper suggested out of nowhere, "Hey everybody, let's play Johnny Ball by throwing Johnny around like a ball. It will be fun!"
Everybody looked at Bumper.
Johnny turned around and said, "Wow, that game does sound fun. I'd love to play Bumper Ball by throwing Bumper around!"
Bumper laughed at Johnny. "I said 'Johnny Ball,' not 'Bumper Ball.' Go get some hearing aids because you really need some."
"No, I'm serious," Johnny said, setting the Gravity Changer 4000 to "Up" at the seventh level of intensity. Then he pointed it at him.
Everyone directed their attention wide-eyed to the invention and Johnny.
Bumper's eyes enlarged and his pupils shrunk in fear. "Um, what is that?"
"This!" Johnny said, pulling the trigger. As a result, a large laser beam was discharged from the contraption, hitting Bumper. Then, Bumper himself shot upwards with tremendous force through the roof of the bus.
Johnny stuck his head out of a window, pressed the "Forward" button, and shot Bumper again while Bumper was still in midair; this sent him flying away.
"That was only at the seventh level of intensity," Johnny said to everyone on the bus. "Does anyone want to be blasted at maximum force? Because if anyone tries to play Johnny Ball with me, I will."
"W-we're good," a kid said in fear.
Bumper was still flying at a high speed because of the second blast. "This flying trip isn't actually that bad."
But then he saw that he was flying straight towards a window of the Test house. As a result, he screamed and crashed through it and another window across from it. Johnny's dad saw this.
"Oh, that's just great! Now I have broken glass to clean up and windows that need to be replaced," he said.
Due to heavy traffic, the bus was late to school. This caused Johnny to only have eight seconds to get to his class on time.
"Darn it! My class is so far down and I'm going to be late—wait," Johnny said.
He set the intensity level to 9 and pressed "Forward." Then he shot himself; as a result, he shot forward with incredible force through the hallway, busted through the wall of his classroom, and into his seat. Immediately after that, the bell rang.
"I'm not late, Mr. Teacherman," Johnny said.
With a blank expression, Mr. Teacherman looked at the busted-through wall and at Johnny. He decided to not even ask.
"Okay, class," Mr. Teacherman said. "We're going to review before you take the test today."
He wrote a huge, ridiculously long and difficult math problem on the board:
-43a^-5(14^7 – 87,193/179) + a^3 – 3/4 – 1,888a + a^9(73a^-18 – 182,347.9001) – 7.99917300301(10^-14) = 17 – 45 + 9/8(4 – 17,792.73 + 64/3)
"So, does anyone know what a is?" Mr. Teacherman asked. "You better know, or you'll have no chance of passing the test."
Everyone just stared at the impossibility in front of their eyes, thinking, "What the actual rat's behind?"
"Nobody? Huh. Then I guess you'll all fail this test!" Mr. Teacherman said, handing out the tests.
Johnny set the intensity to 3 and the direction to Forward, aimed at the stack of tests, and then pulled the trigger. The papers flew out of Mr. Teacherman's hands.
"What…what the?" Mr. Teacherman said. He picked them back up.
Johnny pulled the trigger again.
"Wait, what the heck? Who's doing that?" Mr. Teacherman said, flustered.
Everyone started laughing, including Johnny, and Johnny made sure that Mr. Teacherman doesn't see the Gravity Changer 4000.
As Mr. Teacherman was picking the tests back up, Johnny increased the intensity to 8 and set the direction to Left. Then he aimed at the laptop on the teacher's desk and pulled the trigger.
Mr. Teacher heard a shatter; he quickly turned around. A shocked expression appeared on his face when he saw the broken window. "Okay, why did my laptop just magically fly away and crash through the window? What's the big frickin' idea!"
Johnny changed the direction to Up, aimed at Mr. Teacherman's desk itself, and pulled the trigger. The desk suddenly, with amazing force, shot upwards towards the ceiling and got stuck there. Debris from the ceiling fell down.
Mr. Teacherman stared at what just happened with a blank expression for a while. Then he said, "Okay, I'm done with this crazy, messed up school. Class dismissed."
Everyone cheered and ran out of the classroom while Johnny received many high-fives.
"This day is going perfectly," Johnny said while walking towards his gym class.
In gym class, everyone was playing dodgeball. One team was full of inexperienced kids; the other team was composed of snobby, experienced, and supposedly unbeatable players. Johnny was on the loser team; Bumper was on the winner team.
"I'm gonna get revenge on you, Test!" Bumper shouted.
"Yeah!" everyone else on Bumper's team shouted.
"Oh, we're toast," a kid on Johnny's team said.
The coach said, "Okay, everybody. Since everyone knows the rules of dodgeball, I don't need to explain them. However, I will explain one thing—if you get hit by a ball and get out as a result, you can get back in the game by doing fifteen jumping jacks in the out-of-bounds area."
The coach blew the whistle, which started the game.
Balls flew everywhere across the gym. Bumper and his snobby, annoying teammates kept hitting Johnny's team without a problem; Johnny's team couldn't even hit one opponent. Not only that, Bumper and his teammates mostly targeted Johnny and succeeded.
"This is my third time doing fifteen jumping jacks," Johnny said angrily. "I will show those fart brains that I'm the boss in dodgeball!"
But Johnny kept getting hit again.
Every time Johnny got hit by one of those teammates, his anger increased.
Johnny did some jumping jacks to get back in again and attempted to hit Bumper hard with a ball. However, his aim was way off; the ball didn't hit Bumper. Then Bumper gathered two balls and hit Johnny hard two consecutive times right on his nose. Johnny walked into the out-of-bounds area to do fifteen jumping jacks—again.
A girl from Bumper's team taunted Johnny by sticking her tongue out and blowing a raspberry.
"Okay, that's it!" Johnny shouted while clenching his fists, gritting his teeth, and frowning heavily.
Johnny's teammates noticed Johnny's expression of anger, and they stared at him in fear.
"I'm just going to skip the damned jumping jacks now so I can set the GC4000 to the maximum intensity level and completely annihilate them at this game of dodgeball!" Johnny shouted.
Johnny stormed back into the game without doing any jumping jacks. This caught Bumper's and his teammates' attention.
"Hey, get back in the out zone and do your jumping jacks! Stop cheating!" Bumper yelled.
"No, you need to back in the 'out zone,'" Johnny said, pointing the GC4000 at them.
Johnny went completely nuts and used the GC4000 to his full extent. First, he took full control of the dodgeballs and made them hit Bumper's team repeatedly. Then he ripped most of the overhead basketball hoops off the ceiling and threw them hard at Bumper's team; Bumper was able to avoid this, but everyone else on the team got hit hard and flew backwards, broke through the wall, and left holes that took the shape of their bodies on that wall.
Bumper tried to run away in fear, but Johnny rocketed him upwards, slammed him downwards into the remaining hoop, and kept repeating this. The backboard shattered upon first impact, the rim became more and more bent every time Bumper got slammed, and half of Bumper's body was stuck in the ground when Johnny was done. The scoreboard tried to count all the points scored, but it exploded because 198508128895612864319856120985689215619 points were too much to handle.
The coach and Johnny's teammates had their mouths wide open while staring at the aftermath.
"I get an A, right?" Johnny asked.
"Hmm, well, you did play this game spectacularly, and I mean freaking awesomely amazingly excellent, but you also heavily demolished the whole gym, so…I can't decide whether to give you an F or an A," the coach replied. "Hmm, I guess an A. No, wait, an F. Wait, actually, I think you should get…uh…a C. Since I can't decide, I'll just give you something in between."
"Works for me," Johnny said, shrugging.
The bell rang for school dismissal.
As Johnny left school and got to his bus, a thought lingered in his mind: "That was the best school day ever!"
"Getting ice cream is fun," Susan said as she and Mary entered the lab.
"Yeah, and—wait," Mary said. "Did we turn on the security system so Johnny wouldn't be able to steal the GC4000 while we were gone?"
Susan thought about it, but couldn't remember doing so. "Oh no. I think we actually forgot." She ran over to where she put the GC4000 last, only to see that it's gone. "Yep, he stole it."
"Oh, that's just fantastic," Mary said.
Johnny walked into the house, up the stairs, and entered his room. "Today was the most epic and awesome school day ever!"
Dukey was more concerned about Susan and Mary knowing that Johnny stole their invention than him knowing about Johnny's experiences. "Cool, but you better put the GC4000 back in the lab before Susan and Mary find out that you stole and used it."
"Good point," Johnny said. "But I will miss having this thing."
Johnny and Dukey walked up to the lab and stood in front of the entrance door.
"Time to crack the code," Johnny said, having the GC4000 in his right hand.
After Johnny typed in "gil," the door opened; then they were surprised to see Susan and Mary standing in front of them.
"Aah! I didn't do it," Johnny said, immediately putting the GC4000 behind his back.
"Yeah, sure you didn't," Susan said sarcastically.
"We know what you did," Mary said. "You took advantage of our failure to activate the security system and stole our invention."
"Okay, fine, you caught me," Johnny said, ceasing to hold the GC4000 behind his back. "But I didn't do anything with this that would destroy the world or anything. All I did was mess with Mr. Teacherman and kicked Bumper's butt twice."
"There's a negative defect associated with the GC4000," Susan said.
Every time Dukey hears the word "defect," he freaks out. "What defect?!"
"If it has not been used within 57 minutes after its previous usage, then the gravitational strength on Jupiter will become 45 times greater than the sun; after that, the GC4000 will not work anymore," Mary replied.
Dukey looked at Johnny's watch. "Oh, no. It's been 53 minutes!"
"Why are all of you acting like that's a bad thing?" Johnny asked. "So what if Jupiter gets more gravity or whatever? It won't affect us because we're not on Jupiter."
"Actually, it will affect us," Susan said. "Due to Jupiter's greater gravitational strength, it will pull nearby planets—Mars, Earth, and Uranus—to it."
"So?" Johnny said.
"Earth will eventually crash into Jupiter like an asteroid, and that is very dangerous," Mary said.
Johnny froze in realization that everyone on Earth was in a huge amount of danger right now. "Oh…"
"I'm going to freak out now," Dukey said before freaking out.
"Wait, I got an idea," Johnny said.
"What?" Susan, Mary, and Dukey immediately said.
Johnny pulled out his sisters' miniature de-materializing ray gun from his pocket, pointed it at the GC4000, and fired; as a result, the GC4000 disappeared and no longer existed.
"Wait, you stole our de-materializing ray, too?" Mary asked.
"Wait, you're mad at me? I just saved Earth by destroying the GC4000 before 57 minutes went by," Johnny said.
"No, we're not mad at you this time," Susan and Mary said, smiling.
"Wow, we never solve problems this quickly," Dukey said. "But I'm certainly not complaining."
A/N: Thanks for reading!