Through the Forest
"Once upon a looong time ago, a knight in shining armor set off on a quest to rescue the beautiful princess from the evil witch who had cast a curse on her."
There was an expectant pause.
"The knight in shining armor set off on a quest to rescue Princess Kaede from the evil witch's curse."
"That's you, Karma-kun."
A long-suffering sigh. "Oh man, already?" The redhead ignored Kataoka's pointed stare and brandished his knight's blade carelessly. "So where is this fire-breathing dragon?"
Mimura sighed as the female class representative twitched. "There is no dragon, Karma-kun."
"And Koro-sensei said no fire," Sugaya added.
"No rifles," Chiba muttered with the slightest disappointment.
Karma rolled his eyes from under his visor. Typical. "We can't put on an exciting play if Sensei keeps handling us with kid gloves."
"Isn't that just like him?" Nagisa smiled at Kayano, who was dressed in a white simple gown.
She nodded fondly. "I still think we're doing this because Sensei couldn't see the performance we put on for the kids. He's such a child sometimes."
Kataoka was struggling to keep her fraying strand of sanity under control. Koro-sensei had tasked her with the honor of leading practice and she would deliver if it was the last thing she did. "Guys," she gritted out, "can we pretty please get on with practice."
"I object," said Muramatsu. "I want to be a rock, not a tree."
"Dude, you are a rock."
"Oh. Then I want to be a tree."
The table cracked under Kataoka's grip. Sensing an impending murder scene, Isogai quickly stepped in. "Let's just focus on getting the major parts down, okay? Karma-kun, you and your companions are traveling through the witch's forest."
"Companions?" The redhead raised his brows at Okajima, Maehara and Kimura. "Aren't they the ugly stepsisters?"
"Shut up, hero."
"He ain't no hero, he's a walking tin soldier," sneered Terasaka.
"And you're a court jester."
"Why you little—"
Near the back of the classroom, Hazama sighed in disgust. "Mixing tales is so not cool."
Disorder rapidly filled the classroom as Karma and Terasaka tried to subtly incapacitate one another.
A flare of intense bloodlust startled Mimura. He searched around, took one look at Kataoka's face and abruptly hollered, "Witch! Witch, hurry up and come out!"
Okuda stepped up shyly and touched the brim of her hat. "Here I am."
In a movement too fast to follow, Karma knelt and kissed her hand, murmuring silkily, "I've been waiting for you, my fair princess."
The actual princess covered her eyes with a hand and Nagisa couldn't help but chuckle. The three loyal companions were not impressed.
"Uh, can you not hit on the evil witch? She's evil."
"Oh? I could hardly tell."
Terasaka pointed at the witch. "Do you not see the robe and hat, genius?"
"Well in that case," Karma fairly purred, "what's the problem? I'll seduce the witch, brew up our own happily ever after and then we can dominate the world... together."
Kanzaki and Kurahashi both sighed dreamily.
"Eh?" said the boys.
Ritsu winked from her spot in the back, sparkly pink hearts popping all over the screen. "Ritsu approves! It's Koro-sensei's favorite kind of love story!"
"Oh joy," muttered Hazama, closing shut her novel.
Okuda blushed when her knight in shining armor smiled at her. "K-Karma-kun, we should follow the script."
"I prefer to ad-lib, Manami-chan."
The girls squealed in unison.
"Kya! Karma-kun is romantic!"
Mimura desperately tried to salvage the situation. "Everyone, come on, we don't have much time to practice—Kataoka-san can you please put the knife down thank you-and Koro-sensei should be back from Athens any moment—"
Koro-sensei made a standing ovation from the back of the room, simultaneously wiping his tears with a damp handkerchief whilst holding a recording camera. "Oh, that was absolutely wonderful! Amazing! I've never been so moved in my entire life! Oh, Sensei could just die of happiness!"
A moment of silence.
Then, in the ensuing chaos that followed, Karma bowed modestly, the loyal companions promptly began a rebellion, Nagisa scribbled down another weak point in his notebook and Kataoka sort of fainted into Isogai's arms.
Ritsu concluded, "And they all lived happily ever after!"