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CHAPTER 7/7

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-.-.-

It had been a week since the team had returned from Nidavellir, and Tony had never felt happier, even though Loki seemed adamant he was not going to reattach his head any time soon, despite everyone begging him.

"It's creepy," Steve complained.

"I keep finding blood everywhere," Clint complained.

"Yes, but if I reattached it, it would make peeping round corners much more difficult," Loki pointed out.

-.-.-

One evening Tony proposed a meal to celebrate the fact that they had saved the Earth (from something Loki caused) yet again, and he hired one of New York's top chefs to come to the tower and cook for them all.

The whole team sat round a huge dinner table in the main room of the tower, dressed to the nines in expensive clothes, as delectable dishes were served to them by tuxedo wearing waiters.

Tony had talked Loki into taping his head back on for the evening, but during the second course he coughed, and held his hand to his mouth.

"Sorry, wrong pipe," Loki said, as he raised his hands to the side of his head, and realigned it slightly.

"That's disgusting," Clint muttered.

"Excuse me, what was that, Clint?" Loki asked, and he leaned forward to look down the table.

There was a sound of surgical tape tearing, and Thor let out a shrill screech as Loki's head slid off his stump and landed in the salad bowl.

-.-.-

"Thank you, darling," Loki said, as Tony stood in the bathroom, washing tomato seeds out of his hair under the tap in the sink.

Tony didn't reply, and instead he wrapped Loki's head into a towel, then walked into the living room, where he handed the bundle to Loki's waiting body.

"Can you do me a huge favour please?" Tony asked.

"What's that?" Loki asked absentmindedly, as he propped his head on his knees and towel dried his hair.

"Can you please reattach your head?" Tony asked, as Loki handed him a blood stained towel.

"Why ever do you want me to do that?" Loki asked, and he pointed at the head. "Look how much easier it makes combing my hair."

As Loki ran a comb through the back of his damp hair Tony sighed, and said, "We have a wedding to plan, and there is no way I am taking you to New York's fanciest cake shop if your head might fall into the mixing bowl."

Loki let out a laugh, and said, "Well, that would be slightly embarrassing."

"So you'll do it?" Tony asked.

"And you will not miss all the wonderful new sex positions we can perform now?"

"I'll be completely honest," Tony said. "I miss giving you a proper hug way more than I enjoy all the new sex stuff."

Loki smiled fondly, and said, "Very well then. Bring me the surgical tape."

-.-.-

The next morning Tony woke late. He was still exhausted from the stress of the trip to Nidavellir, and Loki would probably be in a healing sleep for a couple of days at least, so it didn't really matter.

Yup, a lie in was exactly what the doctor ordered... if the doctor was the bottle of Scotch he and Loki had split the night before, which caused him to forget to set his alarm.

Tony took a moment to luxuriate. His bed was comfortable, and the sheets were pleasantly warm in the coolness of the room. The late morning sunshine was peeking through the haphazardly closed drapes, but even still Tony could see the bright blue sky through the gap. Yup, it was gonna be a lovely day.

And Loki... Loki's nose was settled into the back of Tony's neck, and his slow breaths tickled the small hairs there.

Just a few days ago Tony had watched him die. For a little over an hour he had witnessed his life without Loki, and he knew he never wanted to experience that feeling again.

Wait...

Loki's nose was pressed up against Tony's neck, but as he reached backwards with his hand he realised Loki's body was nowhere near him.

Tony sat up and let out a groan as Loki's head rolled across the pillows.

"What is it?" Loki asked, as he blinked one eye open.

"Your head came off again," Tony sighed.

-.-.-

"Make sure it is straight," Loki hissed as Bruce stapled the wound. "I do not wish to be left permanently looking to one side."

"If you'd stop wriggling this would go a whole lot better," Bruce said.

"I still can't believe you put me through this." Tony said, as he held Loki's hand. "You let me think you were dead. I watched you die."

"You deserved it," Loki replied.

"For what?" Tony asked.

"Pulling out four of my chest hairs," Loki replied. "It really hurt."

-.-.-

-.-.-

So for three days Loki slept, and when he woke Tony kinda wished he'd slept for a little bit longer. He'd lived in fear that when given a wedding to organise, Loki would turn into a Bridezilla, and every one of his fears had turned out to be correct.

"These cakes are all substandard," Loki complained, as he placed his 47th dessert back in the box. "They simply will not do."

"We've tried every bakery in New York," Tony pointed out. "Surely something was nice?"

"Oh, they were all lovely," Loki replied, "But none of them were perfect. Now run along and find me a pastry chef, darling. I need to finish my guest list, and don't forget that your list must be completed by 2.30pm sharp today."

"Why that time?" Tony asked, suddenly realising he had exactly one hour and 32 minutes to start and finish his guest list.

"Because the Einherjar are coming to collect them so that the royal calligrapher can finish the invitations."

"Oh, right..." Tony mumbled.

Loki looked at him pointedly. "You have started it, haven't you?"

"Of course I have," Tony lied.

-.-.-

One hour and 15 minutes later Tony looked over his list.

1) Rhodey

2) Pepper

3) Natasha

4) Steve

5) Clint

6) Fury

7) Natasha

8) Thor

9) Bruce

10) Spare invitation. Someone always gets forgotten about.

Yup, it was perfect.

"What is this?" Loki asked, as he looked over the paper.

"That's my guest list," Tony replied, as he sat at the table to read Loki's list.

"Very amusing," Loki said with a smile. "Where is the real list?"

"That is the real list."

Loki's face darkened. "Anthony are you taking this wedding even remotely seriously?" he snapped. "You have a grand total of eight names on this list, unless you know two people Natasha, and what is this about a spare invitation? There will be no spare invitations because the list will be perfect NOW!"

"Whoa, whoa," Tony said, putting his hands up. "You wanna talk about lists? You've got 72 names on here, and apart from your parents, and about three I don't even know how to begin to pronounce, they're all villains!"

"And?" Loki shouted.

"At least half of them are currently in jail!" Tony snapped back.

"A mere logistical problem," Loki said, waving his hand.

"So you are seriously going to invite 67 villains to a wedding that the Avengers are attending?"

"Ah," Loki said. "You think that they will attack? You think so little of my friends that you think they will try to ruin my big day?"

"Well, to be fair, it was only a year ago that Doom unleashed a giant unstoppable robot on the city, so kinda worried, yeah."

"Oh that? That was nothing," Loki said, waving a hand. "Doom has been harbouring feelings for me for a while now. That attack was just to get my attention. I believe the mortal equivalent is pulling the pigtails of a girl you like? Of course he did not expect that I would join the battle."

"Doom... has feelings for you?"

Loki raised an eyebrow, and said, "You find it strange that he might find me attractive? Am I somehow displeasing?"

Tony sighed, and rubbed his fingers across his forehead, then said, "Can we please not fight? I just want us to have a nice day, and then an even better honeymoon."

Loki gasped. "I had forgotten the honeymoon! We must decide where we are going, then begin to write an exhaustive list of every single thing we will do, and every single thing we need to take. Tony, get a pen and paper. This is going to take a long time."

Planning the honeymoon took exactly six days.

After that they went back to picking out the cake.

-.-.-

-.-.-

Two months, 97 arguments, and over a dozen bottles of Scotch later, the big day finally arrived.

The flowers were perfect. The cake was perfect. Loki looked super hot in his black three piece suit and dark green silk tie, and Tony was sure he looked pretty damn awesome too in his matching suit and dark red tie.

The hall they had chosen had been elegantly decorated, and so far not all single fight had broken out amongst the numerous villains and the Avengers who were sitting nervously on the front row.

Yup, Tony was absolutely confident that not a single thing would go wrong, and for once it seemed like the universe had forgiven him for the fact that he had probably slept with its wife in a previous life.

"I'm not even gonna ask," Tony said calmly as he spotted a horse at the back of the hall, where all the guests were seated on rows of red and green silk covered chairs.

Loki smiled coyly, and said, "It's probably for the best that you don't."

Tony took a deep breath. "You ready for this?"

"Absolutely," Loki nodded, and together they turned to face the front of the hall.

They held hands as the registrar spoke some fancy words about love and relationships, and Tony knew he should be paying attention, but his eyes kept drifting back to Loki, and he couldn't stop thinking that he was the luckiest guy on Midgard.

"And now the vows," the registrar said. "I believe you have written your own?"

"We have," Loki nodded.

"Tony, would you like to go first?" the Registrar asked.

Tony nodded nervously, and cleared his throat. He'd worked for hours on these words, and he was suddenly terrified he was going to mess them up. Maybe he would go to say "I love you," and actually end up saying "I like you." Yeah, if he did that Loki would probably end up destroying New York with his bare hands, shrieking, "Like? Like? You LIKE me?" Probably better get it right the first time...

He turned to Loki, took hold of his hands, and began to speak.

"Loki, when I first met you I can't exactly say it was love at first sight, 'cause after all, you did throw me out of a window about two minutes later."

Loki let out a soft laugh, turned to the crowd, shrugged his shoulders, and said, "Oops."

As Loki turned back to him, Tony smiled, and continued, "I couldn't have imagined, on that day when I was hurtling towards the ground, that one day I would be stood here with you, in front of all our friends, telling you how much I love you. And I do. I love you with everything I have, and believe me, I have a lot, but I would give up everything; my suits, the cars, the tower, everything, if you asked me too."

Loki raised his finger to Tony's chin, and asked, "Would you shave this off?"

"Don't push your luck," Tony laughed.

"I wouldn't dream of it," Loki said with a grin.

"But to get back to my gushing, and slightly embarrassing declaration... I love you, Loki, and I promise that for the rest of my life I will be faithful to you, that I will do my best every single day to make you happy, and that I will never to give you cause to throw me out of a window again."

The crowd applauded, as Tony turned to the registrar, and she said, "And Mr Odinson, your vows please."

Loki nodded, turned to Tony, and began to speak.

"Anthony, as you so rightly pointed out, when I first met you I did indeed throw you through a window," Loki began. "I also killed your friend, unleashed an army upon your city, and led Thanos to this realm, which he will undoubtedly attack again, but I do not regret my actions for a second, because without those events I wouldn't be standing here before you today.

When I first returned to Midgard and drew up a list of potential suitors, you were number 13 on my list. I believed you to be an arrogant, vain show off, who was far more interested in the contents of a glass, than he was in the feelings of those around him, but in the year we have spent together, I have come to love those things about you, and every day I thank Yggdrasil that the other Avengers I attempted to court before you turned me down.

And as such, these are my solemn vows to you; I vow to love you, despite your short stature and ridiculous facial hair. I vow to keep you safe from harm, although if Thanos does attack again there will probably be little I can do to prevent your death, but above all I vow that I will always remain loyal to you. I love you Tony. I believe I may love you more than you love yourself, even though that sounds impossible, and I promise I shall be with you for eternity."

The registrar stood with her mouth open for a second, and then said, "I-I declare that you are married. You may now kiss."

Tony grinned, and said, "I've been waiting for this part."

Loki leaned forward, and rather to Tony's surprise, he found himself receiving the most chaste kiss of their entire relationship. He's honestly expected Loki to shove his tongue down his throat, and grab his ass, just to annoy the Avengers who were sitting on the front row, but nope. The kiss was brief, but tender, and was going to look pretty spectacular on the cover of People magazine, whose cheque had pretty much covered the cost of the wedding catering bill.

The crowd cheered as they linked arms and walked up the centre aisle, as a string quartet played gently.

"Look, my gift to you," Loki whispered, as he nodded towards Doom.

"Is he... crying?" Tony asked.

"He is indeed," Loki replied.

"Oh, man." Tony laughed. "I really hope someone captures that on camera so I can use it as my phone lock screen."

"Are you ready for the honeymoon?" Loki asked.

"Thirty days of Mead, sea, sun, and sex?" Tony asked, and then he wrapped an arm around Loki's shoulders. "Bring it on!"

Loki leaned into Tony's hug, and together they pushed open the double doors, and as the sound of their laughter filtered in from the corridor, at the back of the hall the horse neighed plaintively.