When You Were Gone

Disclaimer: I do not claim ownership to CCS. Sue me and you will have no case.

[Pixie] Well here I am AGAIN, with ANOTHER fanfic for you. (In case you were wondering, "Sakura in Wonderland," "My One and Only," and this work are all being written at the same time…I have a short attention span.) This one, like "My One and Only," was inspired by the second Cardcaptor Sakura movie. This is a Toya x Yuki fic, however. I was just watching the part where Toya disappears, and it made me think. How would Yuki feel, watching Toya just disappear? So this fic was born. This is in Yuki's perspective because I seem to do better with first-person stories. This is short, too, much like my Inuyasha one-shots. I hope you like it, it's full of fluff. But hey, fluff is good, ne? Please R&R.


In a small room in Tomoeda, Japan, a young man sat. His head was bent over a book, and in his hand was a pen. It flew across the paper, the scritch-scratch sounds of his writing filling the room. His hair was slightly messy and grey, his glasses constantly slipping down to the end of his nose. He pushed them up periodically with barely a pause in his writing. If one were to steal a glance at the page, the following is what they would have seen him writing.


            We were watching the play when it happened, I remember the day well. Sakura and Syaoran were performing together onstage once more. She was wearing a costume that seemed to be another Tomoyo creation. Your father and Daidouji-san were in the audience, Daidouji-san having the women who work for her videotape the entire thing. And you, you were beside me, watching with a scowl. I can remember your facial expression down to the very last detail. Then it hit us. Great black orbs of magical power, destroying everything they touched. I could hear the shrieks of the innocent bystanders in the audience, lancing through me before they faded away to nothing. Your father and Daidouji-san were destroyed, their bodies turned to nothingness.

            And then you. I remember this part with sickening detail. It came towards us, that evil power, and it took you. I would have gladly gone with you, or rescued you myself, had Yue not chosen to intervene. He took over "our" body and flew "us" out of danger, while with what little control I had over that body I reached out "our" hand…to find you gone as well, the echoes of your cry settling in my ears. Yue was just as shaken as I, I know this. But he did not pause even to grieve. He flew off to fight at Sakura's side, and my semi-dormant consciousness was dragged along for the ride. I cannot blame him, but still…I never even got to call out your name. The actual battle seemed irrelevant, and it still does seem so to me even now. All I remember, all that I am concerned with, is the wretched heartbreak of your destruction. It filled every fiber of my being, and it was a pain to terrible and sharp I thought it would kill me then. It didn't, but that was unimportant. I was soon to die anyway.

            All I really remember about that battle was when Yue chose to fight that Sealed Card. I remember this because of the burning rage that coursed through both of us at that time, directed at that one Card. It had taken you to somewhere where my hands, my voice, couldn't reach. I could not forgive it for that! But in the end, I failed here as well. In the end, she took me too. And I welcomed that destructive power. A perverse kind of joy pulsed through me the moments before my demise. Then there was nothing.

            Sakura sealed away the Card and everything and everyone was restored…but my heart still ached. I awoke as myself again, Kero next to me. He did his best "stuffed animal impression," but truth be to tell, I was glad to see him. It meant that maybe you were back as well. I had pushed myself up from the concrete beneath me, skinning my hands in my haste. They stung, but I was determined to find you. Nothing would stop me from finding you. I ran to where I last remembered seeing you, even though it was a mile away. I didn't tire. There are, after all, some advantages to being nothing more than a magical construct.

There you were, whole and unharmed. I almost wept with joy at seeing you before me. As it was, I ran to you and threw my arms around you. I remember crying then, tears of joy and pain and terror all at the same time. The fact that I had nearly lost you forever had finally hit me in full, and I no longer cared who saw us together. I suspect you hadn't cared then either, for you didn't brush me away. You held me, and I cried, and the world was all right once more. You had come back, my Toya, the one I love the very best.

            When I think about this time now, it is "when you were gone." I don't think I'll ever change that outlook—after all, the battle is immaterial to me. It was when I lost you that mattered. I don't know why all of this is here, but…I felt the need to write this down. Maybe it is so that I won't forget, ever, even when my body is nothing more than dust and ashes that the wind will scatter about the Earth. I will never forget "when you were gone." Never.


            He sat up straight and stretched out his long, slender arms. A huge yawn escaped, and he put a pale hand up to him mouth. He rubbed his eyes wearily, and then looked at the clock. Through bleary grey-green eyes he could see that it was five minutes after midnight: long after when he should have gone to sleep. He stood up and dropped his pen on the desk. Then he crossed over to the bed behind him. A darkened figure slumbered there, and a smile tugged at the young man's lips as he watched his lover sleep. Wearily he crawled into bed next to him. His hands curled gently around his lover's, and within five minutes he had drifted into a sleep that, for the first in a very long time, would be free from dreams of the demise of the one he loved the most.