"What the hell are you doing here!?" Paris shouted, when she saw her ex husband.
"You've been avoiding me more than usual. We had to have Lilith pass post it notes between us when we took them to Disney World! For four days!" He snapped back.
Gripping her gown Paris rushed to the door and shoved it closed in Doyle's face. "Well, you wouldn't stop using screenplay lingo. Exterior, day, Paris Geller flicks off ex-husband for talking like a moron! Go away!"
The rest of the party halted for a moment as Rory came to her mother's side.
"Paris!" Doyle hollered from outside. "Please!"
"This is my best friends bachelorette party!" growled Paris, leaning against the door. "I didn't think it was possible for you to ruin anything more, than our marriage. Mariah Carey wants tips. Now go away!"
"So…" Rory whispered to her mother. "I'm guessing, Doyle pining for Paris in the moors of Stars Hallow was not part of this...experience?"
"No...but I'll take credit for it."
"Well….then… cheers!" Rory smirked taking a champagne glass from one of the trays.
"They are still arguing," Lane passed on as she stared out the window. "I'm surprised the cops haven't been called."
"Nah," Lorelai shrugged. "Sheriff Francis went to Cabo for a week."
Sookie sat happily, sampling her treats next to them, as two of the escorts came over.
One was a handsome Filipino, who began speaking to the other."I have never seen such pleasant and handsome company."
The one next to him, a handsome blonde snorted loudly. "Are you blind man. They are common and insipid in conversation."
Rory sat up in shock, gawking at them, but Lorelai was giggling.
"Good God Horatio," the Filipino sighed. "How can you say such a thing when Miss Gilmore is in the room. She is a learned girl with beauty that would make Venus blush."
Rory covered her face with a groan. "Mom?"
"Shhh!" Lorelai hissed. "It's getting good! Oh...I think the gloves are coming off!"
"Mom," Rory laughed as there was a knock at the door.
Lane who was closest, answered it to reveal one of her tween son's dressed like a page. He began reading directly from a paper in his hand, awkward and rigid.
"Mrs. Danes, Mrs. Van Gerbig, Mrs. Douglas, Miss Gilmore and Miss Geller, your presents-"
"Presence," Lane whispered in correction.
"Whatever," the boy continued. "Is requested by Count Vronsky for a Grand Ball tonight. A carriage awaits and...uh...yeah that's it. Can I take this off now mama?"
The women came over to the door smiling broadly.
"Yes," Lane acquiesced to her son. "Then go join your brother at Uncle Brian's."
"I think you look very handsome Steve," Rory sighed.
"Just kidding, I'm Steve," he laughed and ran into his room, throwing the costume off in his wake.
"Curse you Weasleys." Rory huffed, as her eyes adjusted to the darkness outside.
A horse drawn wagon was waiting with a driver who had a striking resemblance to Kirk in a white curled wig.
"Shall we?" Lorelai asked. "To the ball?"
"Isn't this the ball?" Rory asked.
"Nonsense! This is but a country dance. A place of learning to get you properly accustomed to high society." Lorelai declared as she hurried to the carriage. "Come girls, we must away!"
"But what….about the escorts?" Rory hissed, following.
"I left them food and water."
"Where's Paris and Doyle?" Sookie pondered as she sat down on the cushioned seat.
They all listened and heard nothing.
"They've either killed each other or are hooking up in a bush somewhere," Rory shrugged.
"Excellent!" Lorelai exclaimed and patted Kirk on the shoulder. "We're off Jeeves."
The carriage pulled up in front of the Dragonfly: Hallow Suites building. It had been renovated completely from the nursing home the year before. People could be heard inside enjoying themselves.
"What is this?" Rory asked.
"Look," Lorelai sighed. " I would not be your mother if I didn't give you the proper send off into married life. No way will you be considered a basic bitch!"
"I kinda am."
"Shh, mommy's giving a speech. So, I arranged a ball for you. A ball to end all balls! Out of the world's of Bronte and Austen and Bronte again. I knew you'd feel out of place if you weren't properly educated….so while everyone arrived and set up, we got you ready. Plus since you refused to let me organize the wedding… I had to have an excuse for a crazy big party!"
Rory smiled and was helped from the carriage by Kirk. She hooked arms with her mother and they entered into the main room. The guests began to clap and cheer as she walked in. They were dressed in period costumes ranging from Renaissance to turn of the century. Every person she knew from Miss Patty to Babette was there.
Men and woman were drinking and eating, while a string quartet played "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" in the background. Tables were ornately decorated with period food and drinks. Card games were set up in different areas as well of backgammon. The main focal point was a large bookshelf full of leather bound editions of Rory's favorite novels.
"This is insane!" Rory gasped and hugged her mother.
"In the membrane."
Rory gasped when she saw approaching them, a sight she never thought she ever would see. " Grandma?"
"Hello Rory," Emily greeted with a kiss to the cheek. She was ornately dressed in a silk gold gown with a bustle.
"Wow...uh...you look lovely grandma."
"Thought I'd have a little fun," Emily smiled. "Miss Celine had it made especially by the lady who did Titanic. Oh and here."
Emily handed over a small box with a bow.
"You didn't have to give me a gift. The ten piece copper core All Clad cookware collection you already gave us was more than generous." Rory sighed, opening it to reveal a gold pinky ring on a chain.
"It was your grandfather's," Emily said proudly. "I had it engraved on the inside. Read it!"
With a bittersweet smile Rory tried to read it. "For Fez?"
"He always said that to you and it used to drive me mad, that'd he let you go traipsing around places like that. But, now...it makes me smile thinking about it."
"Thank you so much," Rory said gratefully, embracing Emily.
"Why didn't you just bring it in two days, for the wedding?" Lorelai asked.
"You do not bring a gift to a wedding the day of," Emily huffed. "You send it in advance to the couple's home, to avoid having the bride and groom having to travel on their honeymoon with extra gifts or to force their family to store it for them. This was just finished today, therefore I wouldn't have had time to send it. It is a courtesy!"
"You're right mother, what was I thinking?"
"Why did you have the bachelorette party two days before anyway?"
"Honestly," Rory smirked. "I didn't want to look hungover and puffy in my wedding pictures. I'm gonna be vain about this one and I don't care who knows, Hashtag no filter."
"Smart girl," Emily smirked.
"I take that as a good sign for the future." Lorelai whispered to Rory as she pointed to a couple in the distance.
Rory began to laugh as she saw Paris and Doyle canoodling in a corner, their hair a mess.
"Ladies and gentlemen!" Kirk announced as he came to the center of the room. "The Allemande!"
The music swelled and everyone formed two lines to begin the dance that Rory had just been taught by the escorts. Luke took Lorelai away to be his partner, leaving Rory alone. She watched on content at Lane and Zach and Jackson and Sookie. She searched the room for a partner when someone tapped her on the shoulder. She turned to see her fiancée dressed in tight trousers and a suit from the 1870's.
With a big smile she kissed him and laughed. "What are you doing here?"
"You know that I have come to be where you are," he said, "I can't help it."
"So...you're Count Vronksy?"
"Give or take a yevich or yovich," he smirked wrapping his arms around her waist.
"But what about your bachelor party?"
"Did it yesterday."
"I knew you weren't part of a Fantasy Football League!" Rory exclaimed. "You only watch when the Giants are playing, purely so you have something to talk to Luke about, but pass out halfway through the game, leaving me to have to remember all the stats. By the way Collins and Casillas are the highest ranked in defense now."
Jess smirked and kissed her softly, then escorted her to the dance floor.
"You know the dance?" Rory scoffed.
"Well, then, for once, I might actually be better than someone in dancing."
Jess shrugged as the music began. The groom and his bride, next to a line of their closest friends in costume, danced terribly together. Lorelai had never seen her daughter more happy and literally patted herself on the back.
A/N: Another little ficlet for fun. Hope you liked it. Thank you!
References: Deadpool, The Strand, Ex Machina, Force Awakens, Firefly, Sense and Sensibility, Pride and Prejudice, Anna Karenina, Ikea, Disney, Mariah Carey, Wuthering Heights, Potter, Bronte, Cindy Layer, Cypress Hill, Titanic, All Clad, Fantasy Football, The Giants