Firefly Dreams



There she sat with her face buried in her pillow crying. Her slender and very thin body hugged it tightly. Her usually braided hair was let loose and her casual nature clothing was replaced with a tight short dress that went to mid-thigh and had loose spaghetti straps falling down her shoulders loosely. He knew she had loved him once and maybe she still did but then he went off and dated Joy believing it was love. But they had since recently broke up realizing it wasn't. Now she had to face heartbreak because her boyfriend discovering the breakup decided he had hots for Joy. So the little gangster, Ren, ran off with her not leaving Shenhua anything to feel happy for. He was going to be blunt. Ever since the two had started dating, he wanted to kill Ren. Oh no! And it wasn't because of jealousy. Okay so it was a little. But she seemed so desperate for him. Now it isn't hard to guess why she was desperate since this was around the time that he himself had started dating Joy. He didn't mean to hurt her. He was just afraid to tell her how he felt. He was always afraid of getting close. She had melted his heart and he believed all her nature and destiny ideas. She was sweet and beautiful. Anyway, back to the point. Shenhua wanted to be with Ren so badly she changed. She wore different clothing and used make- up. She even went as far as getting involved in some drugs! How he wanted to kill Ren! And here she was crying as he was probably off somewhere making out. "All alone...." she sobbed out suddenly and snapped him from his thoughts. She kept muttering that phase repeatedly. His heart tore and she looked like she wanted to die. She hugged her body helplessly. He wanted to hold her and comfort her. But no! He had his stupid pride holding him back. Her normally chocolate eyes that would make him melt with the way she looked so cute weren't to be seen. She clenched her eyes shut as if hiding their ugliness. He walked over to her bed and hugged her as she cried. She gasped and looked back. Recognization of the person hugging her came with a hit. Hurt in her eyes deepened making her brown eyes dull. From the look on her face, he was the last person she wanted to see. He smiled comfortingly. "W-What are you doing here?" she asked softly. He shrugged. "I wanted to see how you're with doing, I mean with Ren and everything." He said trying not to let her get too close. "I'm fine." She said weakly. Mascara stains are her cheek already made it obvious she was crying and in pain. Not that he didn't know that before it was just more obvious. Then he noticed an object in her right hand, which was still clinging to the pillow for refuge. He moved his head closer to her shoulder but she moved the object out of his sight. "Is there anything else?" she asked. He hesitated. But with a swift move, he grabbed the object from her hand hidden from sight. Quickly he thrust it in her face. She burst into tears. He glanced at the bottle of pills. He frowned deeply. "What are these?!" he asked roughly grabbing her arm making her wince in pain. "What are these?!" he demanded angrily. She cried harder and tried to speak but she couldn't say anything. He got up, walked over to the window, and opened it. Harshly he threw the bottle of pills out. Shenhua felt shame and even more waves of pain drown her. "If I see those with you again-!" his voice was low and deadly. "Shut up! What do you care! You only care about yourself!" Shenhua yelled getting up. "That's not true! Why else would I be here if I was a selfish as you are trying to kill yourself!" he shouted back. "You've never cared. You had no problem telling me to buzz off in the past and suddenly you're the good- natured friend who comes to me when I'm heartbroken. Where were you all this time when my life was hell?! I was always there for you but when I came to your door you were too busy making out with Joy!" she yelled and ran out in tears. But with his furry and pride he ran out after her. She ran into the slummy bathroom she had and locked the door quickly. He immediately tried to open the door but he soon discovered that was vain. He pounded on the door loudly and yelled for her to open the door. Her sounds of weeping on the other side of the door were clearly heard. "Go away! I hate you! I hate this town! I never wanted to come here! It's your fault I'm hurt. You and Ren hurt me!" She screamed furiously from the other side of the door. Hearing words like this from Shenhua made him gape at the door. His heart felt torn at the words she hated him. Numbly he backed up a little ways into the hallway and slid down against the wall.

He awoke soon and discovered that Shenhua hadn't stopped crying yet. She seemed to be muttering on the other side of the doors repeatedly. He leaned against it softly to hear. She kept repeating, "Ugly creature, so ugly" which seemed pathetic to him but she sounded like she believed it. She wanted badly to pen the blame on something as to why no one wanted her and obviously, she chose looks. "Why doesn't anyone want me?" she hoarsely from all her crying but her sobs became louder again. He slowly got up and he went down stairs. After entering the kitchen, he got a fork and marched upstairs ready for battle. He jammed on edge of the fork into the lock and he heard a sweet click. He smirked and before she could lock it again the door flew open. And so for her not to escape he shut the door behind him and locked it. Cowered in the corner and covered her face. "Just go away, please, just leave me alone." She pleaded weakly. He bent down and hugged her. The touch seemed to burn her as she squirmed in his grip as if she was going to die. She started to cry hard again. After a moment of silence Shenhua gently spoke, "What's wrong with me?" "Hmm?" "What's wrong with me?" she repeated. "What do you mean?" he asked. "You didn't love me. Ren doesn't love me. What's wrong with me? What is it that drove you away?" she asked. He shook his head. "Nothing's wrong with you." He said softly. "Then I'm too perfect?" she responded painfully. "No! You're not too perfect or imperfect. Nothings wrong with you!" he argued. "Then why?!" she asked sobbing. He hugged her close to him. He picked her up, carried her to her bed, and laid her down. "Go to sleep." He whispered. "I can't." she said with her red-shot eyes looking up tiredly. He laid down gently beside her. "Yes you can." He said softly. "Tomorrow, we go back to my home, how does that sound?" he whispered in her hair. She nodded sleepily. "Wong?" "Hmm?" "Wong." "What about him?" "We can't just leave Hong Kong. I mean there's still Xuiying, Fangmei, and Wong here who need you. And just because Joy broke up with doesn't mean you aren't still friends with her. I know you still love her and it hurts but- !" Shenhua said. "I can always visit and besides I was starting to yearn for home again. As for Joy, we are friends I don't love her. I never did. We both agreed on a break-up." He said softly. "But I will just be trouble. Remember, like here in no time at all, I'll become your town's slut to stay away from and it would ruin your reputation." Shenhua said. "Just because you dated a gangster doesn't make you slut!" he reprimanded. It didn't seem to help that much. "Will go and see the cherry blossoms I told you about when we get there." He persuaded. Shenhua sighed. "There's nothing here for me anyway." She said. In her distress, she reached for a pack of cigarettes and lit one. He frowned and pulled the cigarette from her mouth. "No more drugs especially when we get to my house." He said. She looked disappointed and nodded soberly. She laid back down. "Can I be alone now?" she asked softly. "Why?" he asked. "I just want to be alone. Nothings wrong with that is it?" she asked somewhat annoyed. He hesitatingly left the room.

After an hour, she came downstairs from her room looking worse than before. He arched an eyebrow and got up. She couldn't walk straight. He took a sniff. "I said no more drugs. You're high now!" he said angrily. "Relax, I am almost high. Heaven forbid I should do whatever I want in my own home." She spat. "Isn't getting high supposed to make people happy?" he said. She groaned and tripped suddenly but he caught her before she fell. She sat down and looked at the dinner he had made. She smiled fakely. He frowned. "What's your problem?" he asked annoyed. "What do you mean?" she asked in the same tone. "You can only act miserable even when people do stuff for you!" he yelled. She looked down. "Well, I'm sorry I'm not perky since my boyfriend left me for someone else and used me this entire time. I'll try and give some breathing space since I'm such trouble." She yelled getting up and leaving. She went to her room and closed the door. It didn't take long till he could hear her cry. After a while, her crying ceased.

A knock at the door woke him up. He opened it and saw Fangmei. "Ryo!" she screamed tears in her eyes. "She's dead..she's dead!" she cried hysterically. He looked confused. "Calm down. What is it?" he asked. "She bloody, so bloody. She's by her window!" she screamed crying more. "WHO IS?" he asked on the verge of feeling scared. "Shenhua!" she yelled. His eyes widened and he grabbed Fangmei. "Where is she?!" he yelled. "Under her window!" Fangmei cried harder. He let go of Fangmei and ran to the side of the house where Shenhua's body was in a pool of blood. He looked up and saw her window was open. Fangmei ran behind him. "Call an ambulance!" he yelled picking up Shenhua's body. Fangmei was still in shock and hysterical and she back away some. "I said go call an ambulance!" he screamed with panic and urgency.

Ryo sat in the waiting room where he had been the past 24 hours getting news from the doctor or nurses every once in a while. His eyes were bloodshot and his face was in his hands. He couldn't forgive himself for the last words he said to her. He should have been more understanding. He remembered the doctor's words. "We detected LSD in her system. She mostly likely got high and jumped out of the window thinking she could fly..... People sometimes think they are super heroes and attempt to stop trains and fly from a building when they are on LSD. Be thankful this was the extent of what happened to her. Others think they are fruits and begin to peel back their skin." The doctor explained. Ryo felt his stomach turned. "Is she alive?" he had asked. The doctor nodded. "We need to get her some blood into her system. Otherwise she may die. The fall was bad but I think you found her a little while after she had jumped." The doctor tried to say. "Any later and she may have been dead." He added trying to give Ryo hope. "What's her blood type?!" he asked frantically. "Apparently it's O." the doctor answered. Ryo waited anxiously. Unfortunately, he didn't have the same blood type (I dunno what their blood-types are. So just go along with me). Finally, the doctor emerged and everyone looked on anxiously. Joy was there with Ren who was racked with guilt. "It seems Master Tao has the same blood type." The doctor announced. Fangmei turned to her. "Xuiying?" she asked. The cold young woman got up and followed the doctor. The doctor turned around. "I might be back. Master Tao's blood alone may not be enough." He said leading the way once again. Ryo breathed with relief.

Ryo heard the phone ring as he sat on the couch try to "rest" under Joy's encouragement. Not that it help. He got about five hours of sleep this week. He stared blankly stared at the ceiling. Suddenly annoyed with phone Ryo roughly picked it up. "What?" he asked. "Oh, sorry." He said. Suddenly his eyes widened and he jumped from the couch and ran out of the apartment building leaving the phone off the hook, not that he cared for his phone bill. He ran about three miles to the hospital and as if he was riding Joy's motorcycle ran up to the fifth floor. He breathed excitedly as he finally reached her hospital door. He panted for a moment and then walked over to her bed. "You're awake." He breathed. Her lips were slightly blue and her skin was a lifeless pale. She nodded weakly. In a flash, he was kissing her cheeks and head. He hugged her tightly. She was confused by his free display of affection. She winced and he apologized relaxing his grip on her. "We're going home once you get out of this hospital!" he said hoping to make her happy. Tears slid down her cheeks. He hugged her close to him. "Just take me away, please?" she asked crying. He kissed her forehead. "Of course." He whispered.

Shenhua went for a walk of course without Ryo knowing. He never left her in a room alone. She stopped dead in her tracks as she saw Ren stand in front of her. Pain rushed through. He looked down. "I never meant to hurt you." He said. "I'm not mad at you." She said. He looked up hopefully. "It didn't hurt me that you left. It was just another reminder I will never be loved. You and I never loved each other did we?" she asked. Ren looked away. "You loved Ryo and I loved Joy. I guess we thought we loved each other out of desperation." Ren said. "We sued each other." Shenhua looked down. Ren followed her gaze. "But you're still my friend and just because Joy was suddenly free doesn't mean I should have left you in the dust." Ren said earnestly. Shenhua shook her head. "You went for your happiness and got it. Just because I don't get a happy ending doesn't mean you should be miserable with me." she said. Ren smiled sadly. "He loves you-." Shenhua stuck up her hand. "Just don't, please. I am his friend of course he was worried about me when I was in the hospital, that doesn't mean he loved me. If he loved me, he would have never been with joy and have told me. He gets angry with me easily all the time. I think he just sees me as a friend." She said. Ren felt sorry for her. "I have to go home and pack now." She said. Ren nodded and she walked off. "That idiot needs to hurry it up." He muttered.

Shenhua walked into the house where Ryo shut a suitcase. "I told you not to go anywhere without someone to supervise you or my permission." He said calmly. "I felt like going for a walk." She shrugged. He looked at for a moment and then just turned around. "What's your problem?" she asked. He turned around obviously trying not to get mad. "I dunno, it could be I don't want you to do drugs and go off doing things you shouldn't! Seeing last time how you ended up in a hospital almost dead." He said clenching his fists. "Now how can I do drugs since you confiscated the house and burned them all?" she argued back. He was about to say something and then just turned around. "I'm going out for a while." Ryo said. "I called Joy to come over and watch you." He said. Shenhua rolled her eyes.

Joy sat on the couch when the doorbell rang. "I'll get it!" Shenhua said running down the stairs and opening the door. A guy about her age walked in. "Who are you?" Joy asked somewhat suspicious. "He's just a friend." Shenhua said leading him upstairs. Suddenly recognization hit her. She had seen him on the streets before. Joy picked up the phone and dialed Ryo's number. "I think a drug-dealer is making a house call."

Ryo ran upstairs fast and pushed the door open. Pure horror stretched out across his face as he saw a man engaged in a lustrous kiss with Shenhua. He gaped at the sight. Slowly the man began to kiss her neck and she moaned with pleasure. Ryo felt an unfamiliar emotion of hatred, anger, and jealousy sweep over him. In confusion, he didn't know what to do in this kind of situation, so he did the only thing he could think. With a cry, he slammed the man against the wall. Shenhua gasped as Ryo held the man up to the wall by his collar. "Ryo stop!" Shenhua yelled angrily. Ryo looked over at her with pained eyes. Shenhua was shocked by the clear emotion. Ryo looked back at the man and slowly lowered him. In disgust and shame, Ryo looked at his hands and ran out of the room. Shenhua ran after him. Slowly a young woman with flaming red hair entered the room. "You better leave." She told the man in annoyance.

Ryo slammed the door behind him and locked it. He ran into the bathroom attached to the room. He splashed water on his face and slowly sank to floor. He wanted to die. He dried off his face violently and then stared at the towel. Suddenly a few wet spots appeared in dots on the towel and slowly faded. Was it raining? No, he was inside. Ryo slowly reach a hand up to his face and felt hot tears running down. He was shocked. He hadn't cried since....his father died. He buried his hands in his face and choked out a sob. Suddenly he heard a muffled sound. He looked over from the bathroom door and saw Shenhua climbing up a ladder she set up and climbed into his room. "Good thing I drink milk three times a day." She muttered with tears down her face. "R-Ryo?" she asked softly. She looked like a lost dog. Her eyes were scared and alone. Ryo didn't let her see his face. He buried his face deeper. "Go away!" he said. Shenhua sat beside him. "Ryo, I'm sorry. I know you don't want me to do drugs. I'll stop I swear." She pleaded. Ryo choked out a sob, which shocked Shenhua. He was actually crying! She started to cry as well. "What do you want me to do?" she asked weakly. "Go away." He said breathing hard. He felt like his heart was about to burst out of his chest. "If that's what you want." Shenhua said getting up and leaving. She kept stumbling as she walked. She walked into the hallway until she felt her legs give way and she slid down against the wall and covered her mouth as she started to cry. Slowly she laid down and covered her head as she cried harder. Suddenly a pair of strong arms picked her up and took her into her room again. He closed the door behind him and laid her down. "I'm sorry, Ryo! I really am!" she begged. His eyes seemed swollen somewhat and he laid down on top of her and just stroked her face. "I'm so tired." She whispered. "I'm too tired. I just want it to end. We we're supposed to find peace after Lan Di." Shenhua whispered crying. Ryo hushed her. Ryo slowly bent down and kissed her. "Then go to sleep." He whispered softly. Shenhua looked confused. "I love you." He whispered as he kissed her again. After recovering from shock, Shenhua kissed back. She ran her hands through his black silky hair. He slowly moved away and kissed her neck hungrily. She sighed. "I love you too." She said. "He shook his head. "You're just hurt about Ren." He said. "No, I never loved Ren. He never loved me. Ren and I were so hurt when you and Joy started to date that we turned to each other. I wasn't hurt when he left. I was hurt because you didn't love and Ren not loving me was proof I was always going to be alone." Shenhua said. "I'm sorry I put you through hell." She added softly. "Well I did the same to you so let's call it even." Ryo whispered kissing her neck again. He moved up to her lips and hungrily fed off them. He held her face in his hands and increased the passion. Shenhua felt a thrill run through her and reluctantly brought her fingertips between their mouths. Ryo instead turned to the side and grabbed her finger tips to kiss them more and left Shenhua breathless. After regaining her voice, Shenhua finally spoke. "Are we still leaving?" she asked. Ryo nodded. "This life here doesn't suit either of us. We need to get away from the city life and back into nature. Maybe we'll go back to my home but I don't like wanting to live in the past anymore so maybe she should just build a house somewhere secluded." Ryo answered. Shenhua relaxed under his pressure. "I'm tired." She whispered. "Me too." He agreed. "Let's going to sleep." He said moving off. Shenhua sighed. "What shall I dream of. I've only had nightmares lately." She said. Ryo bent down, "Let's dream of fireflies." He whispered.