Few weeks passed since Cristina came to town and nothing new happened. Besides daily surgeries and weekly traumas, nothing unusual happened. Cristina took her surgical junkie reputation back and she couldn't be happier. Arizona hadn't talked to Amelia ever since the on-call room. She tried to avoid the brunette in hopes she'd fall out of love. Yet, every time she saw her at the end of the hall she couldn't resist but take a moment to look at her. And every time she did that she mentally kicked herself for it because she knew that wasn't a way to fall out of love. But… there was something that beckoned her to do it. To look at her. To see her. To notice her.
One day she saw her at the end of the hall, opening an on-call room and entering. Seeing nothing unusual in that, Arizona went back to her paperwork. It was when she heard a door slam that she looked up and saw Amelia furiously heading down the hall. As she considered whether or not to go after her, she saw Owen opening the previously shut door, his hair all messy and agitated. Confused, Arizona wanted to go ask him what was wrong, except she then noticed Cristina coming out after him. Her eyes widened in shock, already speculating what all of this might mean. She ran down the hall to where she saw Amelia heading. A few nurses were still looking confused.
"Where is she?" Arizona asked them.
"I don't-," started one of them.
"WHERE IS SHE?" She didn't mean to scream, but it if hadn't worked otherwise, she had no choice. From Owen and Cristina exiting the on-call room together, messy hairs and guilty faces, she understood exactly what happened. She needed to find her. Another nurse pointed to a storage closet. Arizona opened the door and locked it behind her. Amelia was sitting in the opposite corner of the door, where it was the darkest, crying. She ran to her, kneeling down in front of her. The closet was dark but she could still see Amelia's face quite clearly, her eyes watery and brokenhearted.
"Amelia," she started, but Amelia just nodded in denial. Arizona understood there was going to be no talking, so she sat down next to her, surrounding Amelia with her arms. She placed her head against Arizona's heart, so she could hear it the same way Arizona heard hers weeks ago. After a few minutes in which Amelia cried and sobbed, Arizona's heart almost broke because she really hated seeing her in pain. She reached for a tissue box and opened it. Handing one to Amelia, she raised her head and wiped away her tears. As she turned her face to Arizona, more tears rolled down her cheek. Arizona carefully wiped them away, looking into her bright blue eyes again. Even though they were sad, Arizona could still find the same safeness she did weeks ago.
"I think he never really stopped loving her," said Amelia, her voice slightly breaking. "I know he loved me. I don't care if he still does. But he did. It's possible to love more people at one time," she said sighing and looking at the shelves in the dark room. "So he always loved her."
"Don't say that, it's-"
"No, you don't need to deny it. We all know it's like that. Maybe that's why our marriage never worked. I know it's been a short marriage but it's been enough time to realize it's not going to work. And I won't try to fix it anymore." Arizona felt shivers running through her body. That's how Callie ended their marriage. Because it wasn't working. Because some things really can't be fixed. She put her hand back around her shoulders. "It all happened too fast."
"Are you sure you don't want to try anymore?"
"No. I'm done. It never would've worked, no matter how hard we tried."
They stayed in the same comforting silence until Amelia was ready to go out again. "Can I ask you for something? Might be pathetic, but-"
"Tell me," said Arizona once she stood up.
"Could I… stay at your place tonight?"
"Of course. As much as you need, Amelia. You're always welcome." Amelia smiled sadly and they opened the door. Outside was Owen, pacing around in front of the closet.
"I don't want to hear anything. Not now," Amelia said, turning her back to him.
"Please, just listen to me-"
"I said no!" She turned to him. "What is there to listen to? I know you love her. And it's alright. We all need love, don't we? It just seems that mine are always slipping away from me," she said, laughing. Ironic laugh, of course. She looked down for a second, then said, "But don't worry; I'm not your problem anymore."
"Amelia, please. Will you at least come home tonight? We'll talk, I'll-"In his eyes there was definitely a trace of regret and rue. His eyes were glimmering with the smallest, almost insignificant evidence of hope, or chance of making it up.
"That's not my home anymore," she said looking directly into his eyes. "I don't know where my home is. But no, Owen. I'm not coming home. That's my decision and you should respect it given the thing you've done. You shouldn't say a single word, Owen!" she said angrily. Arizona took steps back and she watched them worriedly. Amelia lowered her voice, as she looked around and noticed people started turning their heads to her. "This would've never worked out. We tried, we failed. We're not meant to be. You two on the other side," said Amelia, starting to walk away, "you are another story." She turned her back and left. He turned to Arizona.
"It's not what you think," he said. Arizona didn't interrupt him. "I love her, I just-"
"You love Cristina more. You always have. Never stopped," said Arizona in a soft voice. He looked down, ashamed, his dignity all over the place. "But Owen; she's done trying, you saw it too. You hurt her. She's broken. You cannot fix that."
"I don't mean to be an ass, but Callie came back to you, didn't she? She could come back to me."
"She did. And yet where are we now? We were stuck. She was stuck in the relationship. Maybe she forgave me, I'll never really know. But after this, Amelia will feel stuck too because she'll still love you and you'll still love Cristina, no matter what you say or think or even know. Deep down, you'll still love her and in a marriage it's best to be devoted to the one you're with. So let her be. Let her go," she said in the same soft tone. Arizona walked away, leaving him to ponder on what she said.
She checked her clock: lunch time. She decided to go visit Sofia again. She went down to daycare and saw her girl playing alone.
"Hey, Sof," she said and Sofia turned to happily hug her mother. "How come you're playing alone?"
"Zola, Bailey and Ellis went to have lunch with their mommy."
"Do you want to have lunch too?"
"No, I want to stay here," the little girl said. "Amy!" She ran to the door to hug Amelia. Sofia really did like Amelia and Arizona was so happy for that. Once Amelia sat down, Arizona said to her daughter, "Sofia, let's call her Amelia, okay?"
"But she said I can call her that," the child answered with a pout.
"I did," Amelia answered, smiling at her. "She can call me Amy. And so can you," she said to Arizona. Arizona flashed a wide grin.
"Are you okay?" Arizona asked Amy in a quiet voice.
"No," she replied. "But then again, who's okay after something like that, right?"
"But don't worry, I will be," she said showing her gorgeous smile to Arizona. Arizona really felt like they got significantly closer, ever since Tim's case. After a minute, Arizona said to Sofia, "Hey, guess who's coming to have a sleepover at our house tonight?" She looked at her daughter and nodded toward Amelia.
"Amy?" the child asked excited.
"Amy," said Arizona smiling. She realized calling her 'Amy' sounded really nice. Sofia jumped on Amelia's lap and hugged her tight.
Then a stern, firm voice came from the door. "Hey, Amelia," said Cristina. Amelia turned to her and her smile washed away. "Mind if I talk to you for a minute?"
"Go. Let her talk," whispered Arizona to her.
"Sofia, I'll be right back, okay?" She nodded and let her go. Amelia and Cristina stepped outside.
"I'm not-," started Amelia.
"Let me talk, really," said Cristina. "Listen, I'm not a homewrecker. It was never my intention to come back here and wreck your marriage. I never even knew he was married until I got here. I never wanted to put you in this situation." Cristina had a new shade on her, something that screamed guilt. It wasn't something either of her friends had seen of her. But, despite the guilt and blame, she was honest. "I'm not playing a victim, but just know that it wasn't just me that leaned in for that kiss. I know I'm to be blamed. I know you'll never forgive me. But just know: I am not a homewrecker."
"Thank you," said Amelia, "for being honest."
"I'm an adult. I know what's right or wrong."
Amelia nodded and said, "He's all yours." She headed back to where she was sitting and Sofia took her place back, in Amy's lap. Cristina left and Arizona said, "She's not a bad person."
"I know. Then again, no one is."
When the sun went down, Arizona met Amelia in the hall and went to pick up Sofia.
"Did you see him?" Arizona asked.
"I did. He didn't say anything, not a single word."
"That's good, right?"
"It's what I asked," she admitted. "I'm surprised he didn't try."
Arizona let the silence settle down. She hoped something from what she said would stick to him, but she didn't expect this right away. But Sofia, being a curious child asked, "Who didn't try?"
"Kids do listen," said Arizona, grinning.
"They do," Amelia smiled back. Owen didn't try. We had a fight, but it'll be okay in the end," she told Sofia. "Some things will change."
Sofia didn't say anything else and they drove in silence until they arrived home. They made dinner and talked and laughed together and Arizona could see Amelia was feeling better, even if just a bit. Every bit mattered. After the dishes have been washed and the kid was put to sleep they sat down on the couch, so close their shoulders were touching. Arizona turned to ask Amelia, "How are you?"
"Better," she said. "I really want to thank you, I'm-"she started but her voice broke again. "I'm sorry. I'm a mess."
Arizona turned Amelia's face to face hers, looking into the eyes that could seduce her so easily. She wiped away gently a single tear and said, "Hey, you may be a mess now. But you won't be anymore."
Amelia looked straight into Arizona's ocean blue eyes. Arizona could feel her body weakening under Amelia's eyes, like she couldn't hold in any more feelings. Amelia's eyes made her feel safe, but at the same time they generated a bit of fear. Clearly not wanting to wait anymore, Amelia leaned in and kissed the blonde softly, but meaningfully. At first Arizona was unsure, but then she kissed her back harder. The lips she wanted to feel against hers for so long were finally there. She had a burning desire to kiss her harder and longer, to explore more of her. More of what Amelia feels like. But she parted her face from the other woman. She also had a burning desire to just look into her eyes and finally not have to keep the secret locked inside of her, locked from Amelia. They leaned against each other, their foreheads touching and their soft lips inches away.
"Come on," Arizona said. "It was a long day." She took her hand and leaded her into the bedroom, giving her clothes to sleep in.
They both climbed into the bed and before falling asleep in her arms, Amelia kissed her one more time and smiled. Arizona surrounded her with her arms, same way she did in the storage closet and kissed the back of her head. "You smell really, really nice," Arizona said and Amelia chuckled.
Arizona didn't feel alone anymore. She knew guilt would rush over her in the morning but for now, she just wanted to listen to Amelia's calm heartbeat until she'd fall asleep.