Disclaimer: I do not own teen titans or the music cited in this story.
Chapter 19: Things Change
"Just let her go."
Robin didn't listen as he rummaged through Raven's drawers, throwing out books and trinkets. Looking for something to give them a clue.
Raven had never liked anyone going through her things.
This was the first time they were all in Raven's room at once, in any other occasion she'd be kicking them out.
But she was gone.
"It's over man. You need to let Rae go. She's gone this time." Cyborg told Robin but he wasn't listening.
"No she's not. We can't leave her now. She's doing this for a reason and we need to figure out why." Robin muttered ripping books off her shelf.
"This isn't like when we went against Trigon. This is different. This was her choice." Cyborg continued.
"Perhaps Cyborg is correct." Starfire spoke quietly, hugging herself.
"I'm not losing hope, I didn't then and I won't now." He responded harshly.
The titans just watched as he went through her things, Beast Boy staring absently at the stuffed chicken he had won her at the fair.
He had come to know her so well but now he was starting to think he really didn't know Raven at all.
"She keeps a dream journal under her pillow. She writes her deepest thoughts and dreams there." Beast Boy mumbled distantly and Robin stopped rummaging to look at him.
Robin threw the dark pillows off of her bed grabbing the moon and star covered journal and flipping through it.
Robin grit his teeth and swallowed, sitting down slowly on Raven's soft bed.
Everyone's eyes were on him as he read silently, his brows furrowing in intensity.
A heavy silence around them.
"...what does it say?" Beast Boy asked after several minutes.
Robin shook his head slowly, "...Raven has been hiding something from all of us."
Raven's eyes opened slightly, her vision blurred.
She was laying on the ground in a huge black metal bird cage, still in the old throne room.
It all felt familiar.
She tried to pry at the bars but Saf made them hot , chanting a spell that burned at her hands and made her jump from the metal.
Raven's heart pounded in her chest and Saf was standing calmly in front of her, looking the other way.
"...what...are you going to do with me?" Raven whispered.
Saf didn't meet her eyes, "You won't be hurt."
"You're not answering my question, what will you do with me?" She demanded weakly.
"I won't do anything to you...I'm just an oracle Raven...just a messenger." He spoke slowly.
"Then who are you delivering me to? The Citadel?"
He shook his head, looking towards the old throne, "I'm giving you to your family."
"My only family is the Titans." Raven responded absently.
Saf sat her up against the wall, "That's where you are wrong..."
Raven shook her head, "Saf...I have no other family...just please...why are you doing this? You were my friend."
Saf's eyes softened, "I'm sorry Raven..I..."
"How could you? After everything we have went through. My friends trusted you, I trusted you. We were going to keep you around for a long time Saf." Raven said loudly, angry at him.
Saf shut his eyes, the words clearly getting to him. He sighed and put a hand on one of the bars of the cage. He thought for a moment and with his other hand opened a portal with a chant of words.
"There are things you don't know Raven, people after you...There isn't alot of time to explain. We might make it without them following us. They will look for us but we can hide in my old home in a Tamaran like I promised you before-and...you need to know...that Beast Boy never slept with that girl.
I planted her there. He wasn't lieing to you, he had no idea. I did that so it would be easier for you to leave. So you'd have more reason to abandon them. I'm sorry. But we have to go now-before-" he mumbled quickly.
Something like relief washed through her followed by anxiety.
"Saf-what?" Raven interrupted but then Saf let out a scream and let go of the bars, gripping his head and collapsing to the ground in pain.
The portal in front of them closed.
Raven looked to the side and saw three pairs of boots step in front of the throne.
Three guys with light gray skin and shining violet eyes all handsome and sharp featured and dressed darkly. One had black hair to his shoulders and had strong muscles, another had full lips and the one in the middle's face was hidden by a hood.
The one in the middle with a hood over his head had his hand outstretched, causing Saf's to writhe and shout.
He finally lowered his hand and Saf stopped writhing, his chest heaving.
The guy in the middle scoffed, "Trying to escape with the girl at the last minute? I knew you were too soft for this. That's what happens when you trust a troq to do anything. Useless."
He pulled his hoodie down to reveal short raven dark hair and sharp features. He was just as handsome as the other two and sported shining Violet eyes. On the center of his forehead was a gemstone like Raven's.
Raven's stomach clenched.
He was the spitting image of her.
He was like the male version of her, even the curve of his eyes was the same.
He smirked at her, "Nice to finally meet you little sister."
Robin grabbed Raven's mirror portal from her dresser and was rummaging through the rest of her things in a frenzy.
Beast Boy just sat on her bed and stared at her things.
They knew now, about the prophecy.
He looked at his hands. Was he really going to turn into the beast again, only this time, turn into a monster to destroy the world?
And...Raven was going to kill him?
No Wonder she had left.
Starfire touched his shoulder, "Beast Boy, do not worry. We shall figure it out like we always do."
"That's right there has to be a way around it, there always is. There isn't time to linger on it." Robin said as he sat the mirror portal in front of him and held a spell book open, bright red potion in hand.
"What the hell are you doing Robin?" Cyborg asked, crossing his arms.
"This mirror is a portal into Raven's mind, but if we tweak the details, we can temporarily turn it into a portal to take us wherever she is." He said.
"One problem, you don't have magic powers." Cyborg frowned.
"You don't need magic powers to chant a spell," Robin said, "Trust me I know, I've messed with Raven's spellbooks before, behind her back of course. What can I say I was raised in a circus."
He poured the red potion over the mirror and began chanting the Latin words from the book. There was a rushed sound and the titans all stood around the mirror.
Robin eyed every one of them, "Get ready for anything. For Raven. Titan's go!"
Raven backed away slowly but the guy in the middle smiled eerily at her, "I suppose you weren't expecting a family reunion were you?"
Raven swallowed and Saf lay on the ground, still in pain.
"You aren't my family." Raven responded coldly.
The long haired one whistled, "Feisty. She's definitely the daughter of Trigon."
The one in the middle smirked, "I suppose you're confused aren't you sister dearest? Did you really think...you were the only child of Trigon?"
Raven's eyes were just wide and he grinned, "How incredibly stupid of you to believe that Trigon, a ruthless and powerful demon, was exclusively monogamous to your mother."
He stepped forward, "He took many human lovers of course, naturally, and some birthed children. Half demon, half human."
Raven stared hard at them, "How many?"
"Six to be exact. And you little sister would make seven." He smirked, "Oh forgive me, where are my manners, I'm Jared," he pointed to the long haired one and the full lipped one, "That's Jacob and Jesse. We are your big brothers you could say."
"What do you want from me?" Raven demanded.
"Our father Trigon, as you already know, has great power and we want that power for ourselves. Seems fair enough right? Perhaps a bit harsh to try and drain your own father's powers but we are the spawn of Satan in a way aren't we?" Jared spoke carefully, calculated.
Raven glared at them, "What does this have to do with me?"
"You defeated our father a time back, banished him to another dimension. None of us had the power to defeat him because none of us can be portals. You however, are strong enough to take his power, that's why we need you."
Raven flashed a hand, dark with power, "I would never join you."
Jesse spoke for the first time, "We could be the most powerful beings in the universe. We could take over the world Raven. It is rightfully ours."
Saf sat up in pain, "Don't listen to them...Raven..."
Jacob sent a blast at Saf and Raven shielded him with a dark wall, bouncing the blast back at him.
Jared frowned, "That stupid Troq has been enough trouble. I ought to kill him. You defend him Raven? He did you wrong you know. I wouldn't defend him if I were you. Especially since he was going to turn you over to us."
Raven's power didn't budge, still holding a shield up, sweat trickling down her forehead, Saf writhing behind her.
Jesse smirked, "Tell her Saf. Tell her how you've been in this since the beginning."
Saf looked up at Raven pathetically and that's when it clicked with Raven.
He hadn't met her by chance, he had been looking for her since the start.
Jared looked up, his ears perking up and he grinned darkly, "It seems your friends wanted to join our reunion."
Raven's eyes widened, no.
The titans all came running from the other side of the old, abandoned throne room and Raven had to act quickly, holding up a shield in front of them, arms shaking.
She could feel the demons powers working against her. She hadn't went against power like that since she fought with Trigon.
But she wasn't ready right now, she was too weak.
Still, she grit her teeth and the titans looked at her questioningly.
Saf on the ground, holding his sides.
Raven in a huge cage.
What was going on?
Beast Boy, however couldn't help himself when he saw Raven.
"Raven!" Beast Boy called out running to her.
Beast Boy no.
He ran to the cage, gripping the bars and Raven's arms fell, the shield going down.
Jesse raised a brow, "If it isn't the love sick puppy. This is who the only female demon in existence gave her virginity to?"
"Don't hurt them. I'll kill you if you do." Raven growled at the three half demons, her face red.
Beast Boy winced at Raven and she gripped his hand through the space of the bars closely, afraid they'd try to hurt him.
The other titans got the hint and readied themselves for a battle.
"My intent isn't to hurt you or your friends. I just wish for you to join us. If you do, we will spare your little friends." Jared grinned.
"You will destroy the world. I can't let you do that." Raven glared.
She suddenly felt Beast Boy was being pulled slightly forward and Beast Boy grasped her by the wrists, digging his boots on the ground as he was pulled away.
"Raven...it is our divine right to rule the earth. We can be the most powerful force in the world Raven...we can do it together..." he smiled softly, "Raven...we are your family. It's time you come with us. Them, your little friends, they aren't your family. We are. We are your brothers, we will take care of you."
Beast Boy's eyes widened as he broke from her grasp, hands slipping away.
Robin ran forward and caught Beast Boy, holding him back as he stood in front of Raven defensively and glared at them.
"Don't listen to them Raven," he said, glaring at her brothers, "You aren't her family. We are. And you aren't her brothers, I am. I'm the one who has always protected her, not you. I raised her, not you and if I didn't let her terrible father take her, I sure as hell am not letting you take her."
Raven felt her throat close up as she recalled Robin, the big brother she never had. Too serious and always the leader, always taking care of them. Always prying and always kind.
Always protecting them.
Jared stepped closer, Violet eyes dark, "It is Robin isn't it? World class leader and fighter. Apprentice of Batman. Savior of the common world...it seems you always find a way to save the day...but this time you won't Dick Grayson."
Robin stumbled back into the bars of the cage Raven was in at the sound of his given name and Jared laughed, "Are you surprised? I see it all...know it all. I'm a young god."
Jared's gemstone shone and his eyes shone black as he pushed Robin away, grabbing Raven's wrist through the cage.
"Leave her alone!" Starfire shouted and blasted at Jared but he bounced it back easily. Cyborg blocked the blow and stood by her defensively.
"Shut up you dumb Troq," Jared glared at her making Starfire recoil.
"Raven!" Beast Boy morphed into a lion and roared at Jared, Jesse and Jacob surrounding him.
"No! Garfield!" Raven glared at Jared, "Don't hurt him!"
Beast Boy pounced on Jacob and scratched at him, Jesse blasting at Beast Boy's back making him cry out and he morphed into a bob cat with horns.
Beast Boy pounced on Jacob, pulling at his long hair. Jacob pushed him off and blasted at him, Beast Boy morphing into a rabbit and dodging the blows easily.
"Let Raven go!" Robin shouted out and charged at Jared. Jared flung him easily, Cyborg coming behind him and kicking him.
Jared glared and blasted at him.
Beast Boy morphed into a bear and clawed at Jesse, Jacob blasting him off of him.
Starfire tried blasting at the bars of the cage Raven was in, over and over with green bolts.
Jared got up and blasted Robin off of him with a muscular arm.
Jared scoffed, "This has been going on long enough. I tried to do this the easy way and spare the trouble but whether you like it or not Raven, you will join us. All we need is the beast from the prophecy. That is the key to our victory. The ultimate weapon."
Raven's eyes went wide, the prophecy.
She had forgotten all about the prophecy for a split moment in the midst of all of the craziness.
"Trigger the beast, hurt the boy." Jared ordered Jacob and Jesse and they both held Beast Boy down by the arms. when he morphed back to himself.
"Hey what are you-" he began but they put their hands on his chest and sent powerful dark blows to his chest making him scream out animalistically.
"Beast Boy!" Raven screamed out like she never had before, the metal cage holding her back, knuckles white against the bars.
His scream made something break inside of her.
Then she saw him laying on the ground limply, staring emptily at the ceiling, chest oozing with blood.
It was strange to see the sweet and smiling Beast Boy laying on the ground in blood.
His expression was blank.
The sight made her tremble uncontrollably.
It destroyed everything around her and there was no noise then.
She was overcome with the strongest feeling of rage she had ever experienced.
Her eyes rolled over and turned black.
Completely and desolately black.
Starfire screamed her name in the distance.
She felt as if she was in an earthquake except the earthquake wasn't happening around her, she was the earthquake.
Her hands slipped away from the bars, her eyes empty.
She slipped to her knees on the ground. Every movement slow.
She felt her head explode and she gripped it, shouting out.
Her mind was splitting in half.
She felt something start to take over in her, blinding her senses and that's when she understood.
The moment things started changing for her. Her emoticlones acting up, her powers going weak, the changes in her, the sleepless nights, the prophecy,
The darkness her emoticlones were warning her about wasn't about Beast Boy.
Her father had warned her before that rage would take over her one day.
Red and black markings covered her arms and legs, tearing her uniform as Raven doubled over on her hands and knees, her nails turning into claws.
Her face contorted in pain as estranged sounds came out of her mouth.
Jared smirked and took a seat on the stone throne, kicking his legs to the side. Jesse and Jacob standing at his sides.
Evil will reign.
The marking on her forehead shone red as her black eyes teared up, black tears sliding down her face. Her hair came undone and crazily fell around her.
Black horns peeked from the sides of her head, curling up.
The back of her uniform tore as black avian wings poked out and formed behind her.
She twisted her neck around quickly, making a cracking noise as she curled her fingers harshly over the metal bars and pulling them apart as if they were curtains.
She stepped out, her boots making her steps heavy with darkness. She sniffed the air slightly, tilting her head to the side, long dark hair falling as she did so.
It was all clear now, like the last piece of the puzzle falling in place.
The monster in the prophecy was never destined to be Beast Boy.
It was Raven all along.
She was the monster.
"Now you know why she was in a cage."
Saf stared in awe at Raven.
He had known it was going to be her all along but it still shocked him.
She looked like a dark angel.
She was rivetingly beautiful and horrorfying all at once.
He hadn't anticipated what it would be like to get to this point. He was an oracle but still, sometimes even knowing the future didn't prepare you for what happened.
He hadn't anticipated falling for Raven either along the way. It was inevitable he supposed.
Yet how terrible life was to him for making him fall for her.
The only half demon girl in existence and she falls for a green beast.
He crawled to where Beast Boy was and dragged him to the side away from the fighting.
He was unconscious.
Saf was the only one who could save him now.
Saf placed his hands on his green bloody chest and began to concentrate, healing him.
He hadn't anticipated he would save him either, yet here he was.
The rest of the titans would have to go against Raven on their own.
they would all die at the hands of her in her true demonic state.
He also hadn't anticipated he would come to care for them.
"Raven!" Robin shouted as she charged after him, blasting him on the leg.
Starfire stood in front of her, "Friend Raven...please..."
"Star get away from her she's not herself!" Cyborg shouted and grabbed her as Raven shot out another blast.
Jared laughed, "She isn't your friend anymore. She never was. She's always been evil."
Robin took out his staff and glared at Jared, "What have you done to Raven?"
"That is Raven. It always has been. You're just only seeing this side of her now. She will join us, the sons and daughter of Trigon!"
Raven blasted at Robin and he dodged it steadily, not willing to hit Raven.
The dark power rested on her hands, surging out and powerful.
Her black eyes sent cold chills down Robin's back.
He had to remind himself this was Raven.
Raven mumbled something in latin and blasted at Robin again, this time hitting his shoulder.
Cyborg came in his defense, blocking another blast and blasting back at her.
"No don't shoot at her Cy!" Robin shouted.
Cyborg frowned as Raven circled them, "She's going to kill us if we don't fight back!"
Robin, as much as he hated to admit, knew Cyborg was right.
The three sons of Trigon watched in amusement as she shouted inhumanly and black fire shot out of her hands. She went after Starfire, blasting at her over and over.
Starfire flew in zigzags away from her, blasting back with her own power.
"Friend Raven...please! It is me! Startfire!" Starfire shouted but yelped as Raven shot out at her again, burning off some of her red hair, red strands falling to the ground.
Raven continued blasting, uncontrollably, almost drunkily as she chanted and charged forward at them.
Robin stumbled forward, still weak from her blows but was determined, "Raven...Raven it's okay...I'm here..."
Raven let out a strange shriek sending chills over his skin.
He pulled out his staff, not backing down, Starfire and Cyborg at his sides.
Starfire's eyes shone green as she threw blasts quickly at Raven.
Raven put up a shield and Starfire's blasts bounced back to her making her shriek and fly away.
Beast Boy meanwhile was starting to open his eyes slowly, waking up beside Saf.
Beast Boy groaned out in pain as he sat up.
Saf touched his shoulder, panting from the exertion it took to heal him, "Take-take it easy you're still weak.."
Beast Boy breathed hard, looking at him with wide eyes but then looking towards where Raven blasted at the other titans.
Robin dodged and Starfire blasted at her with green power, Cyborg struck on his arm.
Raven wasn't Raven anymore.
She was a monster.
"She was the one the prophecy was talking about...not you.." Saf told him slowly.
Beast Boy gripped his chest and winced as he seemed to see Raven in slow motion with her horns and black eyes, black power blasting from her.
She was terrifying no doubt but he knew it was still Raven.
He was almost afraid but then saw the penny choker she wore, the one he made her and knew Raven was in there.
Beast Boy stood up uneasily, determined.
"You won't stand a chance." Saf told him.
"...I know you're an oracle...you see the future right? The future is set in stone?" Beast Boy said low, "Prophecies don't apply to the titans. We will break the future from whatever damn stone it's set in if it means saving Raven."
Beast Boy stepped forward, limping slightly.
It was up to him.
Jared smirked, "The love sick puppy can't seem to let go."
Beast Boy stepped forward, eyes set on Raven.
"Raven!" He shouted out in a raspy voice.
Raven stopped in mid blast and paused. She turned to Beast Boy, eyes black and meeting his.
She stepped away from the other titans as they lay on the ground in different states of battle.
She turned herself to him, completely focused on him now, hands oozing with power, black wings outstretched behind her slightly.
Her rawest form.
Beast Boy stood several feet away from her, getting in a stance, ready to morph, his heart beating loud.
Come on Raven, he thought to her, its me. Garfield. The idiot you can't stand but can't seem to stay away from.
The thought passed over her as she ran towards him, lifting her hands to strike him with black power.
The only way to beat a monster was to become one.
Beast Boy convulsed violently, falling to his hands and knees, morphing into the beast and exposing his teeth at her.
His rawest form.
A form that broke from whatever barrier Raven had put there and only easily triggered by the need to save her.
He realized the beast really did love her.
Even the darkest and most true form of him loved her with every fiber of his being.
Funny now the only way to protect her was to fight her.
He ran forward to her.
They clashed as they met in the middle.
Raven blasted at him harshly and unforgivingly, Beast Boy dodging her blasts and gripping her wrists, pushing her back roughly.
Her boots screeched on the ground as she ran back at him this time landing a blast at his side.
The rest of the titans watched and Cyborg stepped forward but Robin held him back, "Don't...we need to let him fight for her now."
Beast Boy grabbed her arm, stopping another blow from her. She growled at him and he set his eyes at her but she spoke in low Latin and he flew away from her, falling to the ground.
He winced as he landed on his arm and he morphed back to himself.
Raven stood over him powerfully, ready to strike again.
He rolled away from her next blow and he morphed into a raven, flying away from her.
Raven herself turned and ran, her shoes slipping of the ground and she flew at him.
In any other occasion, Beast Boy would've marveled at that.
Beast Boy morphed into a gorilla and pushed Raven before she could strike him.
He blocked her by hitting her wrists every time her hands tried to strike him with dark bolts.
He just didn't want to hurt her.
She kicked him in the stomach and sent him flying back, but he morphed back into the beast and landed heavy on his feet.
Her power swirled around her and she lifted the cage with it, sending it to him with definitive force.
He couldn't doge it so he caught it easily and threw it to the side but she was quick and was in front of him, clawing at him. She managed to claw his chest and that hurt pretty damn bad.
He pushed her away and morphed into a raven again flying forward over her.
He landed behind her and marveled at her black wings.
He recalled the first words he ever heard her say the day he met her, maybe fighting isn't the answer.
He put his arms around her, restraining her wrists and she struggled, blasting out.
"Raven," Beast Boy said in her ear, "Its me. It's Beast Boy. Garfield. Like the cat. Garfield Logan."
Raven continued to struggle and shouted out hazardously and Beast Boy gripped her harder.
"I know you're in there Raven...remember how you didn't know how to swim? You didn't want the team to know so that's why you never really got in the water. Sure you would rather read, that's true but I knew the truth.." he said and she continued to thrash, screaming out.
"So...I taught you how to swim remember? I held your hands all the way to the deep end of the waves. I was right there. You faced your fear. You faced it and conquered it. I was there with you. And I'm here now. This is the same, you can beat this Raven."
She calmed down slightly, still struggling but her black eyes blank, black tears slipping down her cheeks.
"You used to hate the water so much," he whispered weakly, "You used to hate alot of things...but then you changed."
Raven stilled for a moment but then broke free from him, turning to him glaring and ready to attack again.
Beast Boy held his hands up, "You're stronger than this...Rae..."
Raven turned her head slightly at her nickname but then shook her head, glaring.
Jared snorted, "Don't listen to him. I'm your family. Your brother. We can rule Azarath together. I can bring your mom back."
Raven's hands twitched, wings slumping.
"Rae...it's okay...I'm here..." Beast Boy told her softly, approaching the arch-demon carefully.
Raven grasped the sides of her head, conflicting with herself.
Jared tilted his head and stood up from the throne, "Come on little sister...you can't deny the evil...it courses through your veins...don't fight it...you've always been daddy's little girl."
Raven shut her eyes as Beast Boy spoke again, "Raven..."
She let out a shout to the ceiling, black power trickling out of her mouth and floating up. Her black eyes shone bright. Power blasting from her outstretched hands and swirling around her like a tornado.
In a second everything stilled around here, time stopping.
Everyone was still, frozen in place, only Raven moving slightly.
Raven's eyes faded back to the normal violet and she winced sadly at the scene before her, everything like a picture.
She touched Beast Boy's arm and pulled him out of the frozen picture and he gasped, hugging her tightly when he saw her violet eyes.
"Cool," he smiled, touching the tips of her wings and horns.
Raven pulled out the rest of the titans with a flick of her fingers and they all looked at themselves in awe.
"Friend Raven!" Starfire ran to Raven and hugged her, Raven's horns poking her.
"You did it!" Cyborg said in relief.
Raven shook her head, horns peeking out, "No. I just put a pause to it...this is temporary. Rage will take over me soon enough."
Beast Boy shook his head, "We will figure it out then."
Raven sighed, "We can't. We only have a few minutes. It's too late."
"Stop talking like that. We will figure out how to fix this." Robin said.
Raven set her eyes at him, "This isn't something you can just fix. This is me. This is what I've become. What I was destined to become. I'm destined to die at the hands of a half-demon. There is no going back or fixing this."
"We always find a way to fix it. We just-" Robin began.
"You can't fix it this time Robin. You can't." Raven said sadly, "You can't save me from the bad guy when the bad guy is me."
Beast Boy gripped her hand, "You need to let us help you Rae! We will get through this."
Raven shook her head, "Tell me then. How can we fix this then. Tell me."
They all stared at her blankly, trying to think but they couldn't come up with anything at the moment.
Robin especially, paced and looked at her then, not willing to back down, "I don't know-I-just...destroy the rage inside of you!"
Raven could feel reality wanting to push back in place.
She didn't have much time left.
"I know what I need to do," Raven said then, breaking the silence.
Beast Boy sighed in relief, "See. We told you-"
"I need to destroy knowledge." Raven whispered.
"Woah, you're emoticlone?" Cyborg said in shock, "Why?"
"Because I can't destroy rage. She's an emoticlone that will always come back no matter how many times I conquer her. If I destroy her, she will only manifest in some other way and I'll always have this monster inside of me...
...but knowledge controls every part of my being. Including the memories that manifested rage. If I destroy knowledge, those memories will dissapear and rage will vanish from me." Raven said this quickly.
"Woah, woah, wait." Robin shook his head, "...destroy knowledge? If you do that...you will destroy all of your memories. Everything you know...everything you are...you'll destroy your whole self!"
"...that's the point...exactly...destroying knowledge...It will...it's-there isn't time to think or explain-" Raven responded.
"No. No." Beast Boy said angrily. "You're basically killing your self."
"...not completely...I will still live...things just...this is the only solution." Raven said gently as his green eyes were hurt.
"Raven.." Starfire covered her mouth, tears forming in her eyes.
"It won't be the same! You will be different, you won't be you!" Beast Boy shouted.
Raven felt her stomach tighten painfully, "...it's either this...or the world ends at my hands or one of my brothers kill me...there are no other options and even if there were, it's too late..."
There could of been a million other options but this seemed like the only one.
Beast Boy's eyes were shiny, "Either way...we lose you. We can't let you."
Raven just looked at him helplessly.
"You could have told me what was happening...I would've hoped you...Why did you pull us out then? Why did you put a pause to time, to talk to us if you lost all hope?" Robin demanded.
Raven shut her eyes and swallowed, turning to him, "I haven't lost all hope...this is me hoping I can save you guys...hoping I can save the world. You once told me I was the most hopeful person you knew...do you still think that of me?"
"Of course I do," he told her, "I know...we are the titans but...just...for once...I want you to put yourself first before the fate rest of the world."
"You know I can't do that..." she said evenly and winced, feeling rage poking at the edges of her being.
"...I pulled you out...because I wanted to say goodbye." Raven told them, her eyes watering.
Beast Boy glared, "No! You can't do this-you're disconnecting from us, your moving on!"
Raven set her eyes away from him and Cyborg took her hand, "...there has to be another way."
Raven shook her head and Starfire was the one who broke down crying. Raven held Starfire's arms as the redhead cried, Starfire wiping her eyes.
Starfire rubbed her streaming eyes, "Forgive me please forgive me I did not mean those words I told you earlier- you are not my enemy. I was just very sad because you were hurting me like my sister did And you are my sister."
"I do not wish for you to go." Starfire weeped, "Who will do the ceremony of friendship at the mall with me? Or do the painting of toenails? Who will do those things when you are my very best friend?"
"I'm not going anywhere...I'll still...be..." Raven trailed off squeezing her arms.
Starfire cried harder and hugged her tightly, Cyborg wrapping his arms around them and hugged them.
The last option seemed like it was the only one now as the wind picked up around them, Raven's long hair blowing.
When they pulled away Robin held Raven's shoulders, "I can fix this-i can get the titans and-I can-"
He was reaching for empty words now.
Raven pulled his hands off of her, "Stop. I don't need you to be my leader right now, I need you to my friend."
Robin's eyes softened, "I just want to save you."
"You did," she responded softly and let go off his hands.
The wind blowing harsh now, time threatening to start again.
"I have to...do this..." She lifted up her arms slightly, and Beast Boy stepped in front of her and they just looked at each other.
She didn't want to talk.
She wasn't ready...
What could she say to him? It wouldn't change the fact she was destroying everything they had built over the course of years.
She undid the watch from her wrist and held it in front of Beast Boy. He didn't take it and just glared at it, his green eyes tearing up.
Sadness began to creep into her stomach as these moments began to feel finalized.
This was really going to happen.
"I don't want your watch, I want you. I'm not letting you go," he said roughly.
"...My watch goes off everday at 3 o'clock. I hope it doesn't bother you." Raven said gently and firmly.
He stepped forward, "Don't do this Rae."
Raven's blinked wet eyes, "There's so much...I want to tell you...so many things I didn't do right...things between us I want to fix-"
Raven's head began to hurt and she felt the pressure then, rage was trying to break in again.
"I love you." Beast Boy said desperately as the wind picked up even stronger and he held her shoulders hoping his words could change the course of fate.
"Garfield Mark Logan. You are the biggest idiot I've ever met. You irritate me to no end and you are never serious. Your jokes are awful and you make me so angry." Tears slipped down Raven's orange cheeks, "And I can't imagine my life without you. You're my best friend. You make things...so easy...and I told you already once before, I'd give my life for you."
She loved him.
She loved Beast Boy.
Raven had just told him in the only way Raven could tell him she loved him.
And in a way, it was received way deeper than if she had actually uttered the words.
There was a million things Beast Boy would want to say if this was the last thing he was going to tell Raven but all the words left him and he just took in her image.
Her horns and claws, black wings, yet still, she was beautiful.
"My jokes aren't awful." He said finally and Raven burst into light laughter.
He smiled lightly, "...I finally got you to smile."
Raven's lip quivered and she threw her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly, his arms wrapping around her hard.
She inhaled his scent, like bamboo, his warmth melting on her.
"To bad there aren't any pennies around here for me to give to you for luck," he smiled slightly, eyes wet.
She pulled away and grabbed his cheeks, kissing him quickly. It wasn't like in the movies, romantic and dramatic like every last kiss is.
It was a rushed and desperate kiss, and it ended to soon, but it was real.
Raven pressed her watch in Beast Boy's hand and stepped back, she put the gravitational force that was her violet eyes on his, "I hope...in another life...that we could have ended up together somehow."
She backed away from him fully, she could see herself in the reflection of his eyes.
She brought the shield over them, the wind blowing so hard the titans could barely stay standing.
"I'll never forget you." She told all of them softly. "Thank you for being the best friends a half-demon could have."
Raven put the dark shield around them, partly to protect them and partly because she knew that they'd still try to save her somehow.
She didn't want to see or hear them now, they just might change her mind.
Raven stretched her arms out, the wind blowing her hair wild, the tips her black wings flopping.
Time was up.
She shut her eyes, concentrating and chanted,
Azarath metrion zinthos..
Azarath metrion zinthos..
Azarath metrion zinthos..
Her emoticlone knowledge floated out of her, standing in front of her in a yellow robe and glssses.
"Are you positive, this is what you want? Once this is done, it cannot be undone. There is no going back." Knowledge asked her.
Raven nodded, a huge part of her not sure, "...is there a chance...that I'll ever...ever...remember anything...that I'll..."
"It is uncertain. This has never been done before. It will be as if you are being born again. Once you get rid of me...maybe you can gain me back one day, unlock your powers...remember everything...but that would mean this would just repeat itself again...
...or on the other hand...you could lose me forever and lose yourself in the process." Knowledge told her solemnly, "You will just have to take that chance."
Raven stepped closer to her emoticlone that held every memory and piece of knowledge in her entire existence.
"Please come back to me one day." Raven whispered, she put her hands on her and began chanting in soft Latin, knowledge's eyes and mouth lighting up as she destroyed her.
Raven's eyes lit up with bright light and the light surrounded her.
All of her other emoticlones flew out of her and stood around her in a circle.
Destroying knowledge, meant destroying everything with it.
Knowledge was her center and now she was pulling every fiber of herself straight from the roots.
Raven, in a sense, was dying.
Yet, in a terribly beautiful way, Raven got to see her memories slip away around her projected before her eyes in a mist, as she forgot them.
The titans, although behind the shield, had a full view.
Raven's memories playing backwards, feeling the heavy and magnetizing way they were ripped from her mind.
All of the moments she had with the titans. The majority of her memories had them in it. Their hundreds of battles, their lazy afternoons at the tower, their nights out in the city, the funny moments, the sad ones.
Their trip to Tokyo, when they fought Trigon, when they fought slade, every single hardship they'd ever went through together, each time getting closer.
Memories of Raven and Starfire at the mall, sleeping over, meditating.
Raven helping cyborg with his car and meeting Sarah.
Raven and Robin talking seriously and training together.
Every single time Beast Boy teased her or bothered her.
Their first time. The escapes they made in the middle of the night. Them drinking tea at their favorite cafe. Their long talks while eating Asian food. Their first dance. Their first kiss, being left alone in the tower those two weeks, what started it all.
The memories passed like a broken kaleidoscope of moments making up the pieces of her life.
The titans meeting up downtown on that fateful day.
Raven on the run as a fourteen year old, on her own.
Raven conjuring up Trigon, destroying Azarath.
Raven younger, training with the monks, talking to her mom by the garden at exactly 3 o'clock in the afternoon. Raven crying as she hurt her knees in the temple.
"No matter what Raven, you are mine and I will always be with you." Her mother said.
Raven's earliest and last memory, the image of her mother smiling down at her.
Then the mist dissapeared and knowledge was gone just as quickly, the other emoticlones beginning to fade away, the wind looking white and sounding heavy, rushing around her.
Rage was the last one to come out of Raven and she screamed and contorted until she to was gone.
The evil was gone.
Raven herself floated up, arms outstretched, colorful light oozing from her.
The wings and horns dissapeared and she was so bright. All she was, was light for a moment and then when the titans could see her again,
she was different.
She was reborn.
Physically, she still looked like herself. Same long dark Violet hair and same face and body.
Only now she looked slightly younger, her skin pale but not so gray. Her tattoos were gone and she looked like a normal girl. She looked peaceful, eyes closed.
She collapsed to the floor, and Beast Boy ran to her, the shield falling.
He caught her just before she could hit the ground, time itself unfrozen now.
Jared and Robin were engaging in a heated conversation but Beast Boy didn't hear, he was to busy studying the outline of Raven's face.
He could feel the difference.
Her presence had always been powerful but now holding her, it was evident she was powerless. He just stared at her sleeping form, completely still.
Jared was surprisingly calm, his brothers beside him casually.
"You can't have her now. She's gone." Robin told Jared roughly.
Jared shook his head, "We will see about that. Don't worry. I'm patient. All in due time. Then we will come for her."
He pulled the hood over his head and opened a portal with the flick of a hand, disappearing in a flash.
What happened right after that was a blur.
The titans all around Beast Boy as he held Raven, Robin giving him orders.
He just thoughtlessly carried Raven, wanting her to wake up but then realizing that when she did, he'd have to let her go.
When Beast Boy had lost his parents, he was an orphan.
When Beast Boy had lost Terra, he was heart broken.
But there weren't any words to describe what he was when he lost Raven.
They had to make it look like a kidnapping.
When Raven woke up she'd have no memory of what happened, of who she even was.
The kidnapping would be a cover story, an excuse for her lost memory, while Robin began notifying every superhero he knew from the justice league and every Titan.
They chose the side of a large wooded area near jump city. Beast Boy was supposed to just lay her on the side of the road and wait for the ambulance to come but he couldn't bring himself to let go of her.
Beast Boy just looked at her and stroked her hair soft, silky hair.
The sun was just beginning to set, the sky a tangy orange.
Then...her eyes began to flutter open. Deep violet eyes. She winced at Beast Boy in a drowsy state of slumber.
"I'm Beast Boy. You're safe now." He said as the sound of the ambulance was behind him and the paramedics came rushing around him, prying her from his hands.
She had dozed off again and they were putting a box like firmament around her head, checking her vitals, putting an oxygen mask over her face, detectives snapping pictures of her.
Police were all around, some talking to the titans, some talking to Beast Boy but he was far away, watching as they lifted a limp Raven on a stretcher, taking her into the ambulance, shutting the doors.
Taking her away.
Beast Boy began to panic, his heart hammering, feeling the air close around him.
Robin put his hand on Beast Boy's shoulder, "Go to the tower."
"No." Beast Boy protested breathily.
"Go to the tower Beast Boy. Go to the tower and don't come back until you've calmed down. That's an order." Robin told him.
The tower seemed extremely empty.
Not just because the titans weren't there but because of the heavy truth Raven would never return.
He wouldn't smell the smell of her making tea in the kitchen early in the mornings.
Wouldnt see her reading her books around the tower.
Wouldnt see her meditating on the roof.
He wouldn't have anyone to tease to the point of absolute annoyance.
Who was he going to tease now?
He walked to her room, opening the door, looking the same as she had left it.
Her bed sheets were still rumpled from that morning and he threw himself on it, hugging the sheets, crying the way he'd never cried before, loud and pathetically.
The fat, stuffed chicken he and Cyborg won her sitting in the bed there in front of him.
He thought with a dread, she would never love him again.
Then another thought came to him, a strange one of Robin saying anyone could cast a spell or make a potion.
In specific, Beast Boy thought, a love potion.
Beast Boy sat in the hospital waiting room with Raven's stuffed chicken and a box of chocolates.
Starfire had drifted off beside him which was for the best, she had cried so much her eyes looked like shrimp puffs.
Cyborg was talking to one of the detectives, probably giving him false details about how they found her.
Robin was next to the window, whispering heatedly to someone submerged in shadows.
And then there was the onslaught of Titans coming in from all over to see Raven.
They all stood in the waiting room, filling it up, no one able to see Raven yet.
Even Ana, the tattoo artist came in for a visit but instead of brining flowers like everyone else, she brought a sketched picture in a frame.
"It turns out your tattoos don't last to the afterlife," Beast Boy muttered to her absently.
"I'm sorry." She told him simply and handed him the frame. A drawing of Raven and Beast Boy's tattoos merged together, "Thank you." He replied genuinely.
"Who's the cute guy next to the vending machine?" She said suddenly, eyes wide.
She was talking about Saf who was slumped over next to the vending machine. Beast Boy still didn't really like him but Saf had saved him.
"He's half demon, half alien. Watch out."
"Just my type." She grinned and walked over to him, starting a conversation.
A nurse finally stepped out, unfazed by the fact so many superheroes around.
"She's awake. You still can't see her, we are conducting tests still but for this one she needs a gaurdian with her since she is a minor." She said.
Robin was going to go but he looked over at Beast Boy, "Just remember, she isn't Raven anymore."
Beast Boy followed the nurse down the see,inglynlong hallways, stuffed chicken and chocolates in hand.
Chocolates he had laced with a love potion. Love potions he had learned, were easy to make. Yet when he approached the door to her hospital room, he couldn't bring himself to give her those chocolates.
He put the chocolates on the top of the trash can and walked into the room.
Fake love was bitter.
She was sitting up in the hospital bed, blinking and looking at a blank space in the wall. Beast Boy set the stuffed chicken on a chair and she turned to him, her gaze heavy.
"Beast Boy." She said and cold chills ran through his body, heart pounding.
"You're Beast Boy...you're the one who saved me..?" She said in that monotonous voice then and his hope died.
"My real name is Garfield Mark Logan." He replied swallowing.
The nurse had a box open and he realized she was testing Raven for sexual assault. Her clothes were in a bag, tubes filled with her blood in place.
It was mandatory.
"I don't know my name." Raven said emptily.
He sat and just watched as the nurse scraped under Raven's fingernails, Raven watching him absently.
"I've already done the full body exam. The doctor is about to come in and check her privates." The nurse said as she put the samples in the box.
Raven tensed at that and Beast Boy got up, standing next to her bed. The doctor that came in was a woman but still, it freaked her out.
Raven gripped Beast Boy's hand as the doctor checked her, tears in her eyes. Beast Boy could only imagine how hard this was for her. Not knowing anything that was going on, being vulnerable to everything.
"Hey, hey, it's okay. Look at me. You're okay. Focus on my eyes." Beast Boy told her, holding her hand. "I'm going to tell you a story...about my friend. She was a great hero..kind, funny, strong. She was my best fiend..and she would do anything to protect her friends.."
She listened to him speak and the doctor finished, Raven had drifted off, her hand slipping away from his.
The titans were allowed to see her in pairs of two but of course, she was sleeping.
Beast Boy surprisingly, just wanted to sit in the waiting room now.
The doom patrol came and Beast Boy broke down, again, when he hugged Elasti-girl which made her cry. "It's okay Garfield," she said stroking his hair. Even Mento hugged him, which was a lot for Mento.
Titan's came and left. Saying sorry, offering condolences like Raven had died.
Which in a way, she had.
Bumblebee and Kid flash went up to him, dressed in normal clothes, when almost all of the titans had left.
"Sorry about Rae. I know you two were close." Kid flash told him.
Beast Boy hadn't recalled seeing Kid Flash even really talking with Raven save one time he ran a race with the titans and told Raven she was pretty on one of his stops, enraging Jinx.
"Yeah," Beast Boy didn't know what to say anymore.
"If you need anything...were here for you." Bumblebee told him, flowers in her hands.
Beast Boy nodded and they went off to visit Raven. "I can't believe you ate Raven's gift." Bumblebee scolded kid flash.
"Those chocolates were irresistible!" He frowned then caught sight if the chocolates Beast Boy left on the trash can, "Hey, look. It's my lucky day!"
"From the trash can?" Bumblebee hissed at him as they walked in the room Raven was in.
Kid flash just ate them as he looked at the sleeping Raven.
A strange feeling coming over him...
Eventually, Cyborg took Starfire home. She had been affected the most physically and Robin feared for her well being.
So it was just Robin and Beast Boy in the waiting room, it was roughly 3 am.
"If you need to go...I want you to know..it's okay. It's okay for you to go." Robin told him.
Did he mean now? Or to go from the team?
Beast Boy didn't reply and the doctor came out and said it was time to take her home.
Home? Where was home?
Then Raven stepped out in normal clothes, Bruce Wayne at her side.
No mask, no uniform. Just him.
Beast Boy gaped as he followed behind Batman and Raven. They all got into his slick, black car, Robin taking shotgun and Raven and Beast Boy in the back.
Raven just rested her head on the window, drowsy.
No one said anything in what felt like the longest car ride.
Finally, they stopped in front of a huge building. "Beast Boy, walk her out." Robin said and Beast Boy nodded, getting off quickly. He opened her door and helped her out.
He led her slowly to the wooden double doors, a light on. The doors swung open, an older looking lady standing there and taking Raven's hands, saying hello to her.
"I'll take care of her," the old lady promised him.
She worked for the titans.
Raven turned and looked at him with bright violet eyes one last time before the door shut.
~Two weeks later~
The school bell rang and girls were rushing out of Madame Sabine's Seminary School in a rush of white and navy uniforms down the steps.
Beast Boy stood next to the curb, motorcycle beside him as girls glanced at him and giggled.
Then there she was.
One of the last ones to get out.
Her hair was long as ever, dark, eyes deep violet and skin snow white. She had books in her arm, shoving them in a book bag and wore a school uniform, earphones on, loud and blasting love by Lana Del Rey.
When she caught sight of him she slowed and pulled out an earphone, but it was still loud enough he could hear the sad song.
"Beast Boy." She said with a nod.
"Rachel Roth." He replied nodding back.
She smiled very slightly at the sound of her new given name and he noticed she wore the penny choker he gave her. The hospital probably gave it back to her when they stripped her of her clothes.
"You look well he told her," smiling slightly.
"So do you." She glanced at his new red uniform.
"Two weeks can really change a person." He said absently.
"I agree." She nodded, holding the strap of her book bag.
She glanced at the packs and bags on his motorcycle, "Are you going somewhere?"
"Yes. I'm going to go off with another team for a little while...take a break from the titans. I need it." He said glancing at the road.
"How long will you be gone?" She asked raising a brow the way Beast Boy was so used to seeing.
"A few months...I don't know yet for sure." He said.
"Oh." She said looking down, then back up to his bright green eyes, "Well, you will be greatly missed. Jump city seems to adore you."
Suddenly the watch Raven gave him on Beast Boy's wrist went off beeping lightly.
It was 3 o'clock.
Raven glanced down at it, "I guess like its time for you to go."
"Guess so." Beast Boy said softly.
"I never thanked you for saving me." She said then, "So..thank you."
Beast Boy pulled out his communicator and placed it in her hand, "When there's trouble...you know who to call."
She looked at the communicator in her hand and they locked eyes as he slipped a helmet over his head and got on the motorcycle, kicking to life and driving off with a last look.
She tucked the communicator and put on her other earphone, turning and walking down the sidewalk as another song played, the chorus of Paris by the chainsmokers playing loud.
She stopped walking and looked around, making a face.
It was as clear as day, just like a whisper, she heard it in her mind.
It was probably nothing.
She continued walking forward.
Thank you so much for reading!
This has been an adventure...and this has been wild.
Thank you so much for your support through this and this story was something I worked hard on.
If you guys want a sequel just let me know, the cliffhanger was major I know.
This ending...is something I can really relate to. It was real for me...I went through the kidnapping thing (even though Raven didn't). Yes, I did. It was only for a day. I lost my memory of some things afterwards and I know very well the awful feeling of having everyone tell you what happened to you when you don't even know...that is the extent of what I will say since it is difficult to speak of still.
So that ending, was very real to me.
In some ways...I've healed when I wrote this story, as crazy as it sounds. It has helped me let go.
If you guys want a sequel...I promise you it will be coming from true feelings.
I'm sorry if this story didn't end they way you thought. Thank you so much again for sticking with me.
Until next time.