Gathering her strength, Rory slid off the bed, feeling no relief between her contractions. She opened her closet and pulled out her delivery bag, packed and ready to go and dragged it to her bed.

"There's a million things I haven't done. Just you wait, just you wait," she smirked, admist the pain.

Then, clasping her phone to her chest she lay back down and began to take deep breaths trying to relax her body. Then shot her eyes open again as another sharp pain shot through her and amidst cursing texted her mother that the baby was probably on it's way.

I'm in the car. About 20 minutes away.

Rory cursed his need to find a gym so far. Her body shuddered again in pain and she curled up feeling the pain consuming her. Her phone chirped again and it was her mother in a panic asking for the hospital. Rory was in so much pain, she forgot how to text for a moment and instead screamed loudly, alone in the apartment.

Another ten or so minutes of her groaning in pain passed and she felt an odd relief from her contractions. She breathed out and then realized why the sudden relief as a pressure inside was telling her to push.

"Don't you dare!" Rory screamed at her body. "You can't already be an impatient Gen Z, give it to me now, Varuca Salt lovin'...argh! Just stay put!"

"Rory!" Jess yelled from the door as he ran up the steps. "I did a great impersonation of Dominic Toretto. Probably broke twelve laws."

As he came to the top he saw Rory, pale and in pain. He quit joking for a moment and went to her side to help her up, but she pushed him aside.

"The baby is on its way on the ten thirty train and it's ahead of schedule," she growled. "I don't want to have the baby in the car."

Jess nodded and began dialing 911. As he babbled the circumstances to the man on the other end he was instructed to put the phone on speaker. Then, he was told to grab towels.

"Tell her to kneel if she can," the voice on the phone instructed. "her head pressed against the bed. To try to alleviate the pressure to push. The ambulance is on its way."

Rory did her best but could barely hold herself and the weight.

"Has her water broke?"

"Rory has your -?"

"I don't know! I don't care. Get the damn thing out of me or I will break you!"

Jess stood for a moment in silence then faced the phone. "I'm going to say maybe?"

"I can't hold it," Rory whimpered and rolled to her back, onto the towels Jess had laid out.

Jess quickly helped her out of her underwear, when his eyes grew wide. "That's a head."

"No shit Sherlock!"

The operator explained how to position his hands to receive the baby as Rory had no choice but to push her daughter into the world. After screaming, yelling, there was a numbing silence. Then it was broken by a piercing yell of a baby. Jess, shaking, held little Karina in his arms.

He wrapped the little girl in a towel, wiping her face and brought it to Rory.

"So, you are what all the fuss is about," Rory breathed, taking the baby. "I…we made this.'re real. This is crazy. You weren't here ten minutes ago and and now you are this little person. With little toes and a full head of hair. It's everywhere! Seriously, everywhere. Jess...she's a Lycan."

Jess kneeled down by the bed. "She's beautiful."

Rory's glassy eyes grew wide. "We are parents!"

"I know."

Rory returned her attention to the baby. "And what happened, then? Well, in Whoville they say – that the Grinch's small heart grew three sizes that day."

A knock was heard on the door and Jess shouted for them to enter. The EMTs ran began running quick tests of Rory and the baby to make sure they were fine.


"Hello," Lorelai whispered into the crib. "I am your Grandma Lorelai and I love you very much and know where the liquor is stashed."

The baby lay still, fast asleep. Lorelai blew a kiss to the newborn and headed into the livingroom. Luke was sharing a beer with Jess as Rory, barely awake, lay out on the couch.

"You caught a baby," Luke laughed.

"Who said I was bad at sports?"

"Stop taking all the credit Shia," Rory muttered, her eyes closed.

"Rory is Wonder Woman over here," Jess smiled.

"Much better."

"Does that mean I have to hand over my cape and boots?" Lorelai asked, gently petting her daughter's hair.

"No, I'll have a spin off show," Rory replied opening her eyes. "Now on the CW after Vampire Diaries. We'll have crossover episodes during sweeps week. Oscar Isaac will play Jess."

A faint cry was heard from the other room and Rory felt the bed shift. She drifted off to sleep again, but the coldness of the bed creeped in and she woke once more.

Slowly stepping into the nursery she saw Jess, carrying Karina, whispering. "You have to sleep. Mommy has had a hell of time bringing you in the world and Daddy has forgotten how to spell "the". I stared at my laptop for ten minutes not sure if it had an L in it. We don't blame you, but what can possibly be bothering you? I changed your diaper, and we fed you. I made sure the dulcet sounds of Thom Yorke were playing in your room. Don't worry. Nothing bad is going to happen. I am a pretty intimidating presence. I once stood next to a punching bag."

Jess went to sit in the rocking chair, the child still slightly fussing when he noticed Rory in the doorway.

"Only two days old," Rory sighed. "And she already found a man who will always love her. She's good."

Jess observed Rory for a while in the darkness as their daughter drifted to sleep."You happy Gilmore?"

"Happiness is anyone and anything that's loved by you."

"So, is that a yes?" he whispered after he had put the baby back into her crib.

"Snoopy makes everyone happy."

"Did you ever think," Jess said, wrapping his arms from behind her. "That when we met as kids, this would've been the outcome?"

"No you stole my book."

"And then your heart," he mocked, kissing her cheek as she pretended to throw up.

"Let's go back to bed," Rory yawned, taking his hand and heading to their room, when a cry escaped from the nursery again. "Not it!"

"Rock, paper, scissor."

"Is this how adults make decisions?"


"I gave birth," she hissed, as the child cried again.


"Fine!" she pouted.

They threw out their hands in the respected gestures and Rory slumped forward.

"You fell victim to one of the classic blunders," Jess sighed. "The most famous is "Never get involved in a land war in Asia." But only slightly less well known is this: "Never go in against a Sicilian when sleep is on the line."

"You're family's from Tuscany," she scoffed and kissed him deeply.

"Goodnight," Jess smirked, stepping away, as he returned to bed and Rory took her turn with the baby.


A/N: Thanks for reading! And yes I did do research on unexpected home births. Lol But I always appreciate the comments good or bad. I have had so much trying to capture the voice of ASP.

References: Drake, The Phillies, I Love Lucy, Knocked Up, Viral video, Golden Compass, Anakin, Dropbox, Kardashians, The Fonz, Election debates, John Coltrane, Ubu productions, What to Expect When You're Expecting, Neverending Story, Disney , No Doubt, Faith hill, The Grinch, Thomas the Tank Engine, Doctor Nipple, Moana, Friends, Pretty Little Liars, JDate, Common Core, Ryan seacrest, crops circles, Pez, the Matrix, deconstructed milkshakes, Downton abbey, Buster keaton, Chuck E Cheese, shuffling, Oscars, top gun, little house books, Tumblr, Chris pratt, dad bod, hamilton, Post Millennials, Willy Wonka, Fast and the Furious, Sherlock holmes, underworld, shia labeouf, wonder woman, CW, vampire diaries, Oscar Isaac, Radiohead, peanuts, princess bride