Title: Weary at Heart
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Summary: Dee finally takes Ryo's rejection seriously.
Wrinkling his nose, J.J. tossed his ruined shirt into the trashcan and sighed.
He'd managed to get Dee away from the bar and they'd gone to an all night cafe where they'd talked for a bit. He'd been pretty proud of himself for talking the other detective into eating something. It was pretty obvious just from looking at him that Dee had been missing meals regularly for a while now.
But perhaps he should have just settled for getting some strong coffee into the man, he acknowledged with a wry look at the mess. His shirt wasn't worth the bother of trying to salvage it and the smell of puke was going to linger on his shoes for a while, even if he did manage to get it all off the high dollar leather.
Dee had offered J.J. use of his shower and a change of clothes, genuinely remorseful even if it had been at least partially J.J.'s own fault.
He'd waved away the apology but his own apartment was quite a ways away and he'd gratefully accepted the hospitality. Even if he hadn't needed to wash up, J.J. couldn't really imagine that he'd have left Dee to his own drunken devices anyways. Dee needed him and J.J. was still very much in love with the other man. More than that, they were friends.
With a sigh, he buried his face in the damp towel he'd been drying his hair with and gave a pitiful groan.
It just wasn't fair.
Over the course of their conversation at the cafe, Dee had been too far gone to brake his mouth. The depressed detective hadn't gone into any sort of details about the situation with Ryo, but he'd said enough for J.J. to figure out what had probably happened. Dee thought he'd almost done something unforgivable and Ryo- in his eternal denial and obliviousness- had made it a hundred times worse.
Considering who they were and what he'd learned about Dee's past, it wasn't surprising.
If only he hadn't see that damned file. If only that itchy curiosity that made him such a damn good detective hadn't prodded him into doing a little extracurricular investigating on his own.
Maybe he could have continued to pursue Dee with the same blind fervor he'd always had before.
Instead he'd come to realize just what a gift he'd been given in the dark haired man's trust and friendship. And while it wasn't quite the visions of wild sex and happy cuddles he'd often pictured for them, J.J. knew he would be a very happy man as long as he could keep that friendship.
It broke his heart to see Dee's current downward spiral.
J.J. wasn't exactly religious, but at that moment, he was very sure that God was laughing his ass off over the giant cosmic joke that he'd arranged.
Okay, I know, I know. This is a pathetically small chapter. Hopefully you all will forgive me for that, but I know how long it's been hanging, so... I wrote this twice actually, the first time with a lot more details, but it ended up being so bogged down with nothingness and details that J.J. and his pov just got lost in the quagmire. I took the original and decided to divide it up into three smaller chapters (Bicky and Ryo come in here shortly). Those two parts are being edited and beta'd right now, so hopefully they'll be out shortly and no one will kill me for how short this one is. I've also gone through some note thinning and soul searching and I can honestly say that I think this fic is close to being wrapped up. So cross your fingers and send up some good vibes and wishes! Thanks for holding out as long as you have. I never imagined when I started this fic that it would drag on this long. Sorry ;-) NemKess