Heya FF been awhile! How goes it!? Me, GREAT! Cause not only did I get to write after so long of not writing, I got to write something I'm proud of.
Thanks to the beautiful casownsmyass on tumblr, I was able to write this story!
I was given the smut challenge aka rewrite a movie sex scene (The Notebook).
Now, since I didn't want to just rewrite what happened in the movie, I just took inspiration and made my own thing, starring
I really enjoyed writing this and I do hope you enjoy reading it.
Dean's rough gravelly voice echoed through out the bunker halls. Castiel heard it just fine of course but was too occupied with what was in his hands to care. Pictures of Dean swinging high on a Ferris wheel, pants hanging from his ankles. Castiel sat before him in one of the carriers, face hidden in shame behind his hands. Another, Castiel and Dean are hand in hand, mid spin in the middle of a dirt road. They smile bright with their eyes on nothing but each other. Castiel's coat bellows out. Their hands are gripped tight together, grasping, forever frozen in time. In the final one, Castiel hears a faint tune as he looks down on himself, rough hands playing carefully on a beautiful piano. His blue eyes shine in the beams of sun that shoot in from the curtained window beside him.
"Ca.. There you are. Didn't you hear me calling?"
Castiel finally turned to acknowledge the voice, smiling fondly. Gray peeked at Dean's temples and laugh lines and crow's feet were prominent on his face. The hunting had been rough, but the years were kind. But only because hunting was left behind..forgotten, for Sam. Dean refuses to remember, for his sanity but Castiel replays the tragedy often in his head. It was expected, the hunter way after all. Bloody..but not alone. It tore Dean apart but even more so when Sam made him promise not to bring him back. To let him go and be happy, with Castiel.
So, broken hearted, he did..regretting each day after, but he did it.
"I'm sorry Dean, I found these pictures and..spaced out I guess."
Dean tilted his head, something he picked up from Castiel and stepped into the room. Castiel raised the pictures and his smile brightened when Dean smiled. That was one thing that hadn't grown old.
"My favorite memories." Castiel lowered the pictures as Dean sat beside him. His joints popped and the man groaned softly. There was a comfortable silence then. They stared at the pictures together, reliving those moments.
"..Want to know my favorite?" Dean asked softly after a moment. When Castiel looked at him, Dean's smile turned into a smirk, his eyes were mischievous.
"Shall I ask or guess?" Castiel returned with a mischievous look of his own.
Dean blinked then chuckled. "How bout you just tell me?" He tapped his head softly. "Ya know this old brain just ain't as young as it use to be. Some memories are.."
"..Of course." Castiel smiled.
It happened so suddenly, a flash. Dean lunged forward, hands grasping for trench coat. Castiel reached for his hands but then moved up to his arms. He gripped biceps as he was jerked close and lips met lips. There weren't fireworks, there were explosions! Light bulbs to be exact, but that didn't stop them. Shattered glass rained around them as they kissed harder, grasped even tighter, arms wrapped around one another. It was as if they'd die if they stopped..but humans had to breath at some point. Reluctantly, Dean pulled away. He panted in sync with Castiel who blinked, wide eyed.
"Dean, I-" "I know"
Dean smiled, speaking at once with the angel. He huffed out a laugh. "So, that was.." Castiel turned his gaze down and Dean laughed once more. His cheeks were red and Dean could imagine his own were looking the same, after all, it was their first kiss. "You want to..uh.." He was usually smooth sailing after a first kiss, but for some reason, this time he wasn't. It was their first, but not his, but it sure felt like it. He couldn't find his words nor his train of thought. He looked down and noticed he was still holding Castiel close. He felt he should let go...personal space and all that, but he just couldn't pull away. Castiel was still looking down, still a fine shade of red. He seemed to be struggling with words too. His mouth opened and closed like a suffocating fish, but nothing came out. Dean couldn't help but smile. He moved a hand, running it slowly down the angel's back. "..Come with me, I want to take you somewhere." Seeing Castiel at a loss for words, gave back some of his confidence. So before he could lose his nerves again, Dean pulled from his grasp and after taking his hand, dragged him away.
The car ride was silent, but not awkwardly. Their hands were laced together, having only been let go so the two could get into the car. But once doors were closed and the impala was roaring to life, they took hands once more and rest them on the seat between them. Castiel stared the whole trip, small smile never leaving his face. His blush had faded but was still visible whenever the impala passed a streetlight. Dean couldn't stop staring, though he had to to watch the road. He had plans to go somewhere and that somewhere certainly wasn't the hospital..but that didn't stop him from stealing glances.
He smiled like an idiot each time. Castiel didn't ask where they were going. Dean assumed he may already know but he also thought perhaps the angel wanted to be surprised. Either way, Dean didn't mind..staring was enough. No words was usually what Dean was better at anyway. He supposed that's why Castiel did it all the time. He knew better and why wouldn't he, he rebuilt Dean.
Eventually, Dean pulled the impala onto a dirt road, hidden between intertwined trees. He couldn't help the laugh that escaped when he thought of the trees as himself and Castiel. They'd be just that if not human and angel. Castiel only responded with a bigger smile. Dean didn't care if it was for his humor or laugh, he just loved seeing Castiel smile. He turned his gaze away from Castiel one more time to peer at a barn coming into the line of the impala's headlights. When Dean didn't return to stare once more at Castiel, he too turned his gaze forward and gaped at the sight.
"This is where we first met."
Dean couldn't help the giggle fit that followed Castiel's words. He'd worry about giggling later, right now, he had to focus on how strange it was for Castiel to choose those words over "This is where you stabbed me". Course after thinking about it for a moment, Dean was glad he chose the first..anything else would have killed the mood. He calmed down to a smile and settled back in his seat. He looked to Castiel and began rubbing his thumb over his hand softly.
"I want to take you inside, Cas and I..well," He turned his gaze away then feeling his face heat up. His nerves were leaving him again. What the hell was happening!? He took in a few slow breaths, before looking back to the angel again. Castiel was staring at him, head tilted slightly to the side. He didn't look as confused as Dean thought he'd be. He took one last breath, before speaking again. "Follow me?" It wasn't suppose to be a question, but he didn't want to force Castiel into something he didn't want. But without waiting..he rushed from the impala as fast as he could and moved for the barn doors. "Smooth, Winchester, smooth.." He mumbled softly to himself as he went.
Though long gone, no one dared take anything from Bobby Singer, which left the barn to the Winchesters. They never used it, but kept it for sentimental reasons..if anyone counted torture and exorcisms sentimental. Dean opened the doors and stepped back to let Castiel through first. The angel had left the impala shortly after Dean, now confused due to the Winchesters haste, but he didn't question as he stepped inside and gazed about. The walls were the same as 4 years ago. Scribbled and painted with sigil upon sigil and the lights above were still remains of an angel's dramatic entrance. Dean couldn't help but smile as he took in his surroundings as well. His gaze stopped on Castiel, who was a few paces inside with his back to him. He smiled and turned, closing the doors. He then faced Castiel once more.
"I never imagined, Dean," Castiel turned to face Dean, brows furrowed. He seemed to be fighting for words again. "That I'd one day..go from saving you to..to.." His words stopped, when Dean pulled his coat and overshirt from his shoulders and let them drop to the dirt behind him. Dean's face was red and his breathing was coming fast again. Castiel didn't know what more to say or what to even say at all, so he pushed back on his trench coat slowly..and let it drop down behind him as well. After a moment, he pushed back his suit jacket too, it was only fair after all. Layer for layer, right?
For a moment, the only sound was their quickened breathing and the soft plop of clothes hitting the ground. They kept their eyes on one another, not daring to let them roam..until socks were the last to hit the ground. When they both straightened..they stared, unblinking, until one took the plunge. It was Castiel this time who took control, something that took Dean by surprise. He gasped before his mouth was covered by the angel's. The kiss was even more powerful than the one from earlier. Dean had to smile, thanking whoever gave a fuck, for this and any moment after. He wracked his brain, wondering with all his might why the hell he waited so long for this moment? What was holding him back!? ..Then it hit him when he found himself on his back, Castiel on top of him.
"Wa..wait..wait!" He jerked his head back, breaking the kiss. He thumped his head onto the ground, but ignored the pain. It helped him focus a bit cause his voice was panicked and a little too high pitched for his liking. "Just..just gimme a second.."
Castiel pushed himself to his hands and knees. He had been laying over Dean, flushed against his body. What had come over him was so sudden but from his earlier times on Earth, he knew it was natural..especially in moments like this. He didn't even blink when he felt Dean against his leg, hot and hard. He knew his next step was to lay Dean down and.. he stopped his thinking when Dean suddenly spoke. He tilted his head. "..Is everything alright Dean, I'm not hurting you, am I?"
The hunter shook his head quickly but didn't look at Castiel. He looked up past him, drawing out sigils with his gaze. Even when Castiel moved his head to lock eyes, Dean would shift his to avoid it. "..I..I just need a moment, alright? Just.." His breathing came faster and Castiel frowned when he realized it wasn't from the heat of the moment.
"Dean, what is it?" He moved his head once more to meet Dean's gaze and this time when Dean tried to avoid, he put his hand to his face and turned it making him meet eyes. Dean's widened a bit, like a deer in the headlights. "Please, whatever it is, you can tell me." He spoke softly, moving down to put his forehead to Dean's. Dean tried to move away but fell still when skin met skin. Castiel smiled softly, feeling his chest bump his on every inhale. "In and out, that's it." He wasn't having trouble breathing yet Dean did as he was told and it seemed to calm the man, so Castiel's smile grew. "Dean?"
First comes kissing, then comes fucking, next comes the awkwardness if you weren't fast enough on your bail. Dean couldn't for the life of him understand what the fuck was going on! Nerves were common, yes, but it had never been this bad for him. EVER! ..Then again, lights never exploded during make out sessions and clothes certainly didn't come off slower than a strip tease. That was it wasn't it, this was just different, right? Dean couldn't tell, thought or word wise and though he could feel Castiel against him and not just Castiel but Castiel! Dean couldn't really find it in himself to push or pull away..and that was made harder when Castiel put his forehead to his and told him to breath, so he did.
"..Cas, I'm sorry.." His voice was soft..dare he say, even scared. He grasped at Castiel's right bicep before rubbing at it softly, as if Castiel needed the comfort. Damn it, shouldn't he be the one panicking!? It's his first time, right? ...Right? Dean slammed his eyes shut at the thought. Jealousy? So, this was different. "..I just.." He growled softly, struggling. He felt Castiel's thumb begin to pet his cheek softly. He smiled softly. "It's stupid but..I'm..I'm scared."
"That's not stupid, Dean, it's perfectly normal." He spoke with such softness, that if Dean weren't so close, he never would have heard.
It sounded ridiculous. "It is to me.." Dean Winchester, scared of sex. Alert the press!
"Well you're wrong. It's the most perfect reaction to such a thing." Castiel moved his thumb to Dean's eye and softly ran the pad over the lashes. Dean gasped softly under him and he couldn't help but smile when Dean gripped at his bicep with one hand while his other grasped at his hip. He gasped softly in return, feeling Dean shift against him. "What you're feeling..I understand, it's alright. If you're not ready, I will stop at your say so." He moved his thumb to Dean's other eye, giving it the same treatment. He tilted his head. He was always so fascinated by the beauty of Dean's eyes, not just the color, but what surrounds it..and that obviously included all of Dean. It was why when Dean suggested they leave after their kiss, he didn't even blink.
"..What if I break your heart..?" The man responded in a whisper, opening his eyes half way. His eyes had darkened, but were full of fear.
"I trust you." The angel moved his hand down Dean's cheek and to his jaw, he pet at the line, then moved his hand to Dean's chest. His chest moved up and down quickly and his skin grew warmer. He shot him a smile before looking back at his hand. He pushed it down slightly, feeling the rapid beat of Dean's heart.
"What..what if I die?" Dean was watching his every move. He was feeling awful, but down south was another story. The more Castiel mapped his body, the more relaxed he began to feel..but he just had to keep asking. "What if I'm not good for you? What if..Cas, damn it, we both know I'm not!"
Castiel shifted then, much more than Dean had before and he smiled while gasping out when Dean arched softly below him, hitching out a surprised breath. He moved back and fourth slowly then and moved to take Dean's face in his hands. He used his knees to keep most of his weight on his lower half as he pet Dean's face softly. "Dean Winchester, you are the best thing to ever happen to me. Broken or not, it was destiny that put us together." He tilted forward then, putting his lips to Dean for a short peck. He pulled back leaving their noses touching. "A million lifetimes after this, destiny will continue making us one..no matter which of us has doubts." He kissed Dean once more, deepening it. As he did, he quickened his pace below. Dean moved up to meet him, panting into his mouth. He closed his eyes for a moment but opened them to meet Castiel's. He moved his hands up, to grasp at his.
"Cas.." It was soft, only for the angel to hear.
"I love you Dean.."
"Cas..I.." Dean shut his eyes once more, squeezing them tight, tightening his grip on Castiel's hands as well. He half hoped Castiel would accidentally squeeze his head until it popped..but he was losing focus on that head rather quickly. Not that he blamed him, Castiel was working magic and it was actually starting to work! It wasn't his first slow ride, but damn, was it the best. He arched once more as Castiel moved up to kiss him again. It was another deep kiss, one of understanding. ..Castiel knew Dean couldn't speak with words, so he gave him an out. Dean moved his hands up slowly, wrapping them softly against Castiel's back. He grasped at a shoulder blade, for a moment, imagining it was a wing. He chuckled in his head, feeling Castiel shiver above him. He reached a leg up then wrapping it against Castiel's waist and pulled all his weight down on top of him. He let his eyes fall open then and both he and Castiel gasped against each others lips at the much needed friction between them. For a moment, time stopped, then Dean nodded and that was all Castiel needed.
Castiel pulled his head back and put his elbows to the ground, holding his top half up as he began moving his bottom half faster against Dean. The two panted and gasped in unison and when Castiel found a pace, they began to moan as one. Dean tightened his arms and leg then, locking eyes with Castiel. Their pants and moans filled the air, echoing through the barn, growing louder as Castiel continued to move. The closer they got to the end, the more Dean relaxed. By the peak, Dean could do nothing but hold on as Castiel rocked against him, though occasionally he'd use his other leg to arch up to meet Castiel's thrusts. They were no longer watching one another but hiding their faces in each others necks, panting and occasionally kissing each others salty wet skin. Dean kept his hands grasping at Castiel's shoulders, while Castiel mapped out Dean's body..grasping and pulling whatever he landed on. The scrape of nails pushed Dean even closer.
"Ca..ca..Cas..I'm..I'm.." He bit at his lip, god damn, when'd he become such a mess? "Oh god, please!" That's also a first.
Castiel grinned against his neck, before licking at the skin there. He pushed himself quickly onto his hands and if possible, rocked even harder and faster against Dean. "Do it Dean..I want to see it. I want to see you." He moved down and licked at Dean's lips before kissing him once more. He pulled back too soon for Dean's liking though.
Dean locked eyes with him once more as he clawed at his shoulders. He's at a loss of words for a moment, the past couple of hours flashing before his eyes. It was so sudden and now here they were! It's always happened before, but not like this, oh god, never like this...and never again. "I love you too!" ..It happened as suddenly as the kiss.
Castiel's eyes shoot wide and for a moment, Dean wants to fucking take it all back..but then Castiel throws his head back and groans, his eyes flash blue for a moment before he shuts them off to the world. Dean groans back when he feels warm cum splash against his stomach and chest. Holy shit, Cas just.. Dean can't finish that thought because he follows suit, mixing his own cum with Castiel's. The thought makes him groan some more and he closes his eyes.
When Castiel comes down from his high, they lay still for a moment, Castiel splayed over Dean who hugs him close, face hidden in his neck. They say nothing, sharing pants between them. They shake..neither is sure if it's from the activity or nerves..but it doesn't matter. Nothing did, hell, as far as Dean was concerned..this was his first time at everything and that included love.
"We laid on that floor for what seemed like forever..It was the best moment of your life." Castiel had locked eyes with Dean as he told the story. It was just like yesterday to them. A moment not even a picture could capture. He cherished that moment as much as Dean, but he knew it meant so much more to the older man. He smiled, before moving forward and capturing Dean's mouth with his own. "I love you." Is spoken between them before they meet.
Dean smiles into the kiss as he moves his hands to grasp Castiel's head softly. They kiss for a long moment, before Dean pulls away and rest his forehead against the angel's. "I love you too." He beams, smile and eyes bright. Castiel can't help but kiss him again!
I apologize if anything is out of character, I jumped around seasons and all that jazz and kinda made it my own thing, ya know? Sorry bout the feels too, that's SPN for ya. As for the smut, I hope you enjoyed it, I was really proud of it. I have written smut before but I am not proud of it (I was young and a big anime nerd, enough said, right?) anywho. Thanks for reading!