I Live For You
"It was lovely, wasn't it? The party?" Juvia asked while taking off her coat and Gray closed his apartment's door. They had just arrived from Fairy Tail Christmas dinner and instead of going home, Juvia decided to go to Gray's. "Everyone was so happy."
Gray snorted and took off the scarf Juvia had made him a few years before, hanging it carefully by the door – it was clear he treasured it – and then removed his coat. "It doesn't take much to make them happy and silly."
"That's true." Juvia smiled and put her coat on a chair, her hat on top of it, before she turned around to face him. "Did you eat enough?"
He hummed in agreement and took a few steps towards her. "Yeah. The cakes were great, by the way. I know how hard you worked on them." The members of the Guild arranged to everyone to bring something to eat so they could have a big meal. Gray had gone to Fairy Hills to help her bring the cakes earlier that day.
She beamed in happiness. "You know, this Christmas is better than last year's. Every past year, really."
"Oh, absolutely." Juvia nodded and put her arms around his shoulders and his hands went immediately to her hips. "We are together this time."
"I remember to spend it with you last year." Gray raised an eyebrow, pretending to be obtuse.
"You did. And with the rest of our friends." She giggled. "But last year Juvia couldn't do this" she tip-toed and gave him a peck on the lips "without making you shriek and jump two feet in the air."
"I do not shriek." Gray rolled his eyes. "But I would've been very surprised." He granted that. "I was still…" He seemed to think for a moment. "Denying what was happening."
"Oh?" Juvia's cheeks were rosy and she was smiling beautifully at him, arms tightened around his shoulders. "And what was happening exactly? It's just so Juvia knows you are not denying it anymore, of course."
"You know, just because we are dating doesn't mean you get to tease me about this." Gray could feel the tip of his ears get warm, and of course, his cheeks. Juvia giggled and the sound made his heart beat faster and his stomach get filled with butterflies.
"Sorry." She didn't look sorry at all when she pulled him down for a quick kiss, her hands on the short hairs at the back of his head and he sighed when she pulled away, their lips were just a few centimeters away. "Juvia still can't believe it."
"You should believe it by now, you know? It's been six months." Gray's nose rubbed hers in a loving way, giving her a quick peck on the lips, and he pushed her slowly backwards.
"Six very good months." She whispered and let herself be guided until she felt the back of his couch hit her butt. "Right?"
"Right." Gray agreed and finally dove in to properly kiss his girlfriend, who was quick to reciprocate in kind when he coaxed her mouth open, deepening the kiss.
Just like everything else, Juvia surrendered everything while kissing, she was as giving and truthful about it as she was with everything else.
During the time they had been dating, Gray had found out he was more than fine with Juvia's physical willingness. At first, he was the one to give her kisses; it was as if she was waiting until he was fine with the displays of affection before she could initiate them on her own.
The first time she had given him a kiss, her face had turned such a red shade he even forgot his own embarrassment. They grew used to kissing and soon, it wasn't enough.
Their first make-out session was after defeating a dark Guild. They were hurt and high on adrenalin, but the moment the day was saved, Gray had grabbed her, pushed her against a wall and kissed her to an inch of her life. Once they came out for air, Gray was about to apologize when Juvia pulled him to an even deeper kiss. Somehow, she ended up with her legs wrapped around his hips as they kissed until Cana appeared and told them to get a room.
After that, they grew used to making-out, grew used to discovering what the other enjoyed. To take the next step didn't take long.
"Do you want to spend the night?" Gray asked, kissing her jaw and down to her neck, his hands went from her hips to her ass and to behind her thighs, pulling her up so she could seat on the top of the couch, his hips between her legs, which crossed on his lower back.
"Whatever Gray-sama wants." She panted, holding on to his hair and biting her lower lip when he nibbled a sweet spot between her shoulder and neck.
"You can't say that, Juvia." Gray told her, leaving her neck and kissing her lips again. "We talked about this."
The blunette smiled and brought him closer with her legs. "Why? Juvia will do whatever Gray-sama wants." She said, knowing he would understand the double meaning of her words; she was not disappointed when he groaned and rested his forehead on her shoulder, breathing heavily. "Gray-sama?"
"You can't give me this wide permission, Juvia." He was trying to control his breathing. "I might misunderstand."
"Hm." Juvia brought his face close to hers and gave him a kiss. "Maybe Juvia wants for you to misunderstand her." She smiled when he groaned even louder, hiding his face on her shoulder and whispered a 'shut up'. Trying to change the subject to he could stop sulking, Juvia asked: "Did you like your gift?"
"Yes." Gray said, caressing her leg, his hand on the slit of her skirt and he looked up. "That sweater looked really nice. You've come a long way from a scarf to a sweater."
She smiled. "Juvia knew you would like it. She just doesn't know if it's going to be a waste, since you like to take your clothes off rather than keep them."
"Ha ha, very funny." Gray rolled his eyes but kissed her even so. "I will find something for you to wear." He told her; she had spent the night a few times so he knew the drill, he always enjoyed having her warm body next to his; he slept better that way. "Come on."
Juvia nodded and Gray slowly put her down on the floor and took her hand, leading her towards his bedroom.
Juvia came out of the bathroom and saw that Gray had already lied on the bed and had a magazine in hand. The moment he heard the door close behind her, he raised his gazed to her and he put the magazine away. She was wearing one of his shirts and it was long enough it reached mid-thighs.
With a smile on her lips, Juvia stepped closer to the bed and instead of going to her side of it, she put each knee by his hips' side and rested her upper body on his, stealing a kiss.
"Hi." She smiled.
"Hi." It was obvious Gray tried not to smile, but lost the battle and pulled her for a kiss. He put his hands on her waist and caressed his way down to her hips and finally the bare skin of her buttocks. He pulled her closer and deepened the kiss. "You know I didn't ask you to stay here just to-"
"Juvia knows." She smiled and kissed him again. "She can't say it's not why she stayed, though…" The blunette giggled when her boyfriend groaned; in annoyance or because she was slowly caressing her way down his chest to his abdomen.
"Well, as long as you know." Gray told her and she kissed him once again. Her smile vanished and she looked down when her hand found the soft scar tissue just a little above his hipbone. "I don't mind the scar." He told her, putting a hand on her cheek to bring her attention back to his face and away from his scar, Juvia put a hand over his. "I'm fine."
"I know." Juvia smiled and kissed the palm of his hand. "It just strikes me how close we were to lose it all before we even started." Gray nodded and Juvia decided to tell him what had been in her mind for a while. "Juvia needs to talk to you, Gray-sama. About this." She looked down to his scar.
"We talked about it when-"
"Yes, but… Juvia thinks we need to set some things straight." She saw him frown and seat, pushing Juvia a bit so she was sitting on the mattress between his legs – her own wrapped themselves around his waist; she still facing him and not at all inclined to untangle from him. Gray's hands went to rest on her hips and Juvia put her arms on his shoulder. "It's still new to talk about and it feels surreal, as if Juvia is dreaming, but we love each other." She smiled involuntarily with the words just because she knew they were true. "We love each other a lot."
"We do." He nodded, his cheeks were red but he wasn't going to deny it, not anymore, not ever again.
"We love each other so much that we would die to protect the other without even thinking. We did, actually." She gave him a sad smile while remembering the minutes of horror she went through with seeing his lifeless body right after he had saved her life and by the way his jaw clenched, he was thinking about when she gave him her blood and he thought she was gone forever. "We can't do that anymore; next time we will most likely not come back."
Gray sighed, probably thinking how they had argued before about it. He had, face pale and scared eyes, yelled at her that he'd do anything to never go through that again, he made it clear he'd die before seeing her lifeless body again. She told him the exact same thing and it frustrated him so much, he stopped speaking to her for a day before they decided to not talk about it anymore.
"Let me speak." She cut in, gently, and he sighed but stayed silent. "It's not good for us, for our relationship, to think this way. We can't live while wondering who's the one who is going to die protecting who. We both know Juvia would do it and so would you. Really, it could go either way." Reluctantly, Gray nodded in agreement. "We have to go forward."
"We are." He pointed out – compared to last year's Christmas, they were miles ahead. "We are together."
"And nothing ever made Juvia as happy as that." She pulled him to a sweet kiss, just a brush of their lips and even so it made him wrap his arms around her, bringing her closer. "What Juvia means is that we can't go through that again. It hurt so much to know you had died to save me." She whispered, her hands shaking lightly. "Juvia was ready to go after you that day. Those dragons would've killed me and Juvia wouldn't even fight back."
"Don't say that." Gray told her, the familiar pain inside his chest sparking again. Whenever he remembered those moments of agony of knowing she was gone forever, his insides twisted and it was as if there were a black hole inside him, sucking every good feeling and leaving him empty. "Don't you ever say that again."
"You told Juvia once what you thought while going after Zeref." Juvia said quietly. "Your own thoughts weren't too far behind mine."
"Why are you making me remember that day, Juvia?" The only thing keeping him from falling apart at the memory was the fact she was safe in his arms. "You know-"
"I know, I know. I'm sorry." She cupped his face with her hands and kissed his lips a few times in succession, as if to apologize. "But you see what Juvia means? It's not good. This is something dark, something too dangerous."
Gray frowned in question. "Our love is dangerous?"
"No, never: our love is beautiful, don't you ever forget that." She whispered, nose touching his in a loving way. "Dangerous and dark is how much we fear being alone after loving so much. It's hard to go back to the dark once we've experienced the light. Well, rain, in Juvia's case but you get it." She tried to joke and Gray snorted at it, making Juvia smile a bit. "What we need to do is to not let that darkness overcome us again."
He raised an eyebrow. "And how do we do that?"
"We live." She told him, simply.
"If you die, Juvia is certain she will not be too far behind. If Juvia dies, it's the same for you. Even if one of us die for each other, there would still be pain and a broken heart. Someone would still be left behind." The blunette gave him a one-shoulder shrug. "So, we don't die."
"Oh, it's that simple, is it?" Gray was clearly amused by her words.
"Yes." Juvia gave him one quick nod. "Think with me: by saving ourselves, we are saving the other. Instead of giving up, instead of wasting our life, we are going to get up and fight. Do you like to hurt me?"
"What? No, of course not!" Gray couldn't even believe she asked him that.
"Good." She told him. "The next time we are up against an enemy, remember how much it would hurt Juvia if you died. Remember that if you die, Juvia dies. Remember that and live. Do whatever it takes and just come out of it alive. Save me by saving yourself." Her cheeks pinkened before she said the next words. "I live for you, you live for me." She whispered. "We live for each other."
Gray kept staring at his girlfriend while she looked down to the mattress as if she were embarrassed by her words and all he could think was how amazing she was.
They had faced moments in which they had to choose and they chose to die for one another, as if it was the most virtuous thing to do. But she was right; even if the other survived, it meant pain, it meant sadness and it meant breaking in a way that would never be mended back again.
Instead, Juvia had taken that dark road and twisted it entirely; she turned to a way he knew he'd fight until there was nothing left so to never hurt her that way again and she would, too.
They wouldn't die for each other; when times get tough, they'd live for each other.
How could anyone ever think Juvia was dark and rainy when she had this beautiful light inside her? When she was the one who'd show him the way when times were dark?
"I love you." It was his breathy answer to her. Honestly, it was all he could say to her. Nothing else would even begin to describe what was going on inside his head, inside his heart. It was the simplest way to let her know and it would never be enough to describe the way he felt about her.
He didn't say those words very often and just like every other time, her blue eyes were wide as if it was still a surprise he would love her back. Gray knew she was aware of his feelings, but was still afraid it was all a dream.
Before she could say it back – as much as he would never ever get tired of hearing her say those words to him, he needed to bring her closer to him, so he kissed her. After a second of confusion, Juvia was quick to reciprocate.
"I'll live for you." He said when they came up for air.
"And Juvia will live for you." She smiled and gave him a quick kiss.
"Good." He nodded. "You know, this sounds much better. Less suicidal lover's pact and more like a healthy good thing."
"It does, doesn't it?" She laughed. "It's always good to sound less suicidal or homicidal, or so was Juvia told. Now that's romance. Maybe we can get on track now?"
"Hopefully." He snorted. "Let's try to avoid life or death situations, please? It's easier to come out of it alive that way."
"Oh, dear god yes please." Juvia groaned. "I think we both proved our point."
"Way too much if you ask me." Gray nodded. "So… will we live forever or does this have a date to stop?" He asked and she smiled.
"Juvia figures that we are good to go when we are old, wrinkled and surrounded by grandkids." She said while playing with the short hair from behind his head. "What do you think?"
"Sounds like a good plan to me." He was surprised the subject of a family didn't bother him at all. Before, he would laugh at the concept but with Juvia, he knew it was just a matter of time before she gave him a family (other than Fairy Tail, of course). Later on, though. In a few years, when they had had some time enjoying each other and he wasn't so terrified to look away for a second, afraid she'd be gone; it was too soon to think too seriously about it. "So, we're immortal until grandkids."
"Alright, sounds like a plan." Gray shrugged and Juvia kissed him for a few moments. "Should we go to sleep or…?" He left the sentence hanging and Juvia laughed at it when she saw how red his cheeks were.
"There's one more gift Juvia got you." She sat and took off the shirt she was wearing, showing him the set of red lingerie covering her body. Gray's eyes widened at the sight.
"A very Merry Christmas to me." He whispered and pulled down a giggling Juvia for a kiss.
AN: I hope you all have a great Holiday, no matter what you are celebrating (or if you are like me and are just in for the food. Sadly I'm on my own this year so frozen lasagna, here I come!) Thanks for reading!
12/24/2016 ~ BonneyQ