Neon Genesis Evangelion: Legacy
One Shot – Sex is Fun(damental)

For Silvermoonlight GJ

April 2, 2016 – Comfort 17 Apartments

Asuka was just getting home from school. Hikari had made it her day to clean up the classroom, which meant she was in a bad mood. So when she got home all she wanted to do was lay down and have Shinji bring her a snack, but her entire plan was shot to hell when she slid open the door to her room.

Asuka saw Mari laying on her bed, naked, with her laptop on her stomach, the volume on whatever she was watching jacked up, with people screaming in ecstasy, with one hand playing with her breasts, and the other was working her into her own sexual frenzy.

"Oh… man…" Mari muttered, unaware Asuka was standing there. "This feels sooo good… I think I'm about to…"

"What the fuck?!" Asuka shouted. "What are you doing?!"

"Oooh yeah!" Mari screamed, and then she registered Asuka's outrage. "And there goes the afterglow… great…"

"What are you, stupid or something?" Asuka asked. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?!"

"Well until you interrupted things, I was having a fucking awesome orgasm." Mari said. "But now I'm just naked and wet… and disappointed that you ruined it."

"Ruined what, your depravity?!" Asuka shouted. "We share this room, you can't just go making it smell all…"

"Like hot masturbation?" Mari asked. "Smells like fun, doesn't it?"

"No, it's fucking disgusting!" Asuka shouted. "I don't want to come home and see you doing that again! I don't want you doing it in here either!"

"Where should I do it princess… the fucking toilet?" Mari asked angrily.

"That's a good place!" Asuka shouted back. "Just as long as I don't have to see you doing it again, I'll be fucking happy!"

"You're never fucking happy!" Mari shouted. "You're prudish as fuck, and you never touch yourself, you need to rub one out… then maybe you'll fucking relax!"

"I'm not like you!" Asuka said angrily. "I can control myself!"

Mari moved her laptop and stood up angrily, her boobs bouncing freely as she did. Even naked, Mari looked quite intimidating. "So can I!" Mari shouted. "And when I have a certain itch, I gotta scratch it!"

"Sounds like you have a rash, four eyes!" Asuka shouted.

"Well, at least I can get off!" Mari retorted.

"Depraved pervert!" Asuka shouted.

"Frigid prude!" Mari screamed.

"Will both of you shut the fuck up!" Shinji shouted from the kitchen. "I don't know what you're yelling about, but I don't want to hear it!"

"How did he even…" Mari muttered.

"Well, are you two done yelling at each other like children?!" Shinji asked.

"Yeah… whatever, puppy!" Mari said loudly. "We're fine!"

"Yeah, baka!" Asuka added.

"Good, dinner's done, so get ready to eat!" Shinji shouted back.

"Alright!" Mari replied loudly.

"Well, you better put some clothes on, pervert." Asuka said. "You can't eat dinner all naked like that."

"Watch me." Mari said.

"Hey, I'm not eating dinner with your tits flopping all over the table!" Asuka said.

"Excuse me, they're perky, not floppy!" Mari retorted.

"Yeah, well gravity is not helping!" Asuka said.

"At least I have tits… unlike you!" Mari shot back as pulled on a loose tank top and panties. "Yeah, can't argue with the truth, can you princes?"

"I hate you." Asuka muttered. "My boobs are cute and perky…"

"Hate me all you want, princess." Mari said as she walked out of the room. "It won't make your tiny titties any bigger…"

"Yeah, well if I catch you masturbating in here again, I'll fucking beat you to death with that dildo of yours."

"Fine…" Mari said. "I'll do it somewhere else…" Mari sighed. "Cause you would beat someone to death with a dildo…"

April 4, 2016 – Tokyo–3 Junior High School, Class 2–A

Mari was sitting quietly at her desk. Asuka was glaring at her from the windowsill where she was causally chatting with Rei and Shinji. Seeing as Toji and Kensuke were down in the lunchroom getting copious amounts of food to chow down on, Hikari came over to see why Mari looked so down.

"Hey, Mari… are you alright?" Hikari asked.

"Sorta…" Mari replied. "I uh… I'm a little light headed."

"Are you ok, do you need to go to the nurse?" Hikari asked.

"No… I…" Mari said. "Can I ask you something private?" Mari asked.

"Sure…?" Hikari replied.

"It's about… uh…" Mari whispered. "Masturbation…"

"What about it?" Hikari asked.

"Do you uh…" Mari said. "How often do you…"

"At least once a day." Hikari said. "Why do you even care though? Are you trying to tell me something?"

"No it's not that, you like that big goofy jock, freckles." Mari said. "You are cute as a button though." Mari smiled widely. "I was just saying that, Asuka says she doesn't… I mean I think I saw her once while we were asleep… but how can she not… take care of it."

"Mari. What brought this up?" Hikari asked.

"Well… she caught me right as I was fishing yesterday and flipped out." Mari said. "She said I can't do it in the room anymore."

"Did you tell Shinji?" Hikari asked. "He's always good at mediating for you two."

"No…" Mari said. "I didn't want to bring him into the argument… Asuka would have just ended up calling him a pervert for doing the same thing."

"Makes sense." Hikari said. "So what are you going to do?"

"Well… I'm not doing it in the bathroom… and I really wanted to go for round three and four last night in bed, but Asuka was glaring at me all night…" Mari explained.

"Killed the mood, huh?" Hikari asked.

"Yeah, drier than the Sahara…" Mari replied. "I've got like major blue labia right now."

"After one night?" Hikari asked.

"Well, it had been a few weeks because Asuka wasn't sleeping, and sync tests make me too tired to care, and I don't like having to do it while she's laying there…" Mari said. "And I can go three or four times a day and be really happy… I need the release."

"Well, you can always try the bathroom…" Hikari suggested.

"No, I'm not rubbing it out on the toilet." Mari said. "I like using my bed, it's comfy."

"Well, you have to think of something." Hikari said. "Otherwise you're gonna be horny forever…"

"How about we hook Shinji and Asuka up, and then he'll fuck her brains out and she won't be so wound up anymore." Mari suggested.

"How about thinking of a more probable and time sensitive plan." Hikari said.

"Fine…" Mari huffed. "But that was my only idea…"

"As nice as it is, you didn't put a lot of thought into it." Hikari replied.

"Well… it's the only way I see her loosening up." Mari retorted. "Shinji's gonna have to bone her and make her scream for more."

Hikari blushed. "Mari… that's extremely…"

"Erotic." Mari finished. "I know, but it's the only way."

"Yeah, you're probably right…" Hikari muttered as she continued to blush.

"Are you thinking about the jock throwing his bone into you?" Mari asked.

"Yeah…" Hikari muttered. "All this talk about sex is making me…"

"Horny and wet." Mari replied quietly. "Or am I wrong?"

"No, you're right… but we're at school…" Hikari whispered. "I can't fix the problem here… no matter how much I want to." Hikari sighed sullenly. "I have to wait until I get home… which is so long from now."

"At least you can do it at home…" Mari muttered. "I have the biggest prude ever living in the bed next to me…"

April 5, 2016 – Comfort 17 Apartments

Shinji was sitting alone in his room. He was listening to music on his bed, and trying to relax. Mari and Asuka had been unusually hostile towards each other the past few days, and even though Shinji was curious, he didn't want to get dragged into another one of their fights, as he was tired of always fixing their problems for them.

'Best to let them figure it out on their own for once.' Shinji thought. 'I hate having to take sides between my best friend and… well the girl I love I guess. Damn, I hate seeing them fight… I wish they'd get along…'

Shinji's thought however were interrupted by Mari barging into his room laptop in hand.

"Puppy, I need a big favor!" Mari said.

Shinji removed his earphones and looked over at Mari. "What's so important that you ran in here with your laptop?"

"Well, uh… you know that argument me and princess had the other day?" Mari asked.

"Yeah… a deaf person wouldn't have missed that." Shinji said.

"Well… she uh… caught me masturbating…" Mari blushed. "Well, actually she caught me cumming, and she ruined it."

"Mari… the point?" Shinji asked.

"I need somewhere to masturbate that isn't the bathroom or a public area or my room which leaves…" Mari said.

"My room…" Shinji replied.

"Yeah… so can I… please?" Mari begged.

"Mari… it's a little weird." Shinji said. "Even for our friendship."

"It's not like I'm asking you to do it for me, puppy." Mari said. "Unless you want to help me out a bit… your hands look soft enough…"

"Mari!" Shinji said.

"Sorry… I'm just horny." Mari said sheepishly. "You know how that is when you just need a go. It's a little hard to think about anything else."

"Yeah…" Shinji said. "I guess you can… but can you keep it down, I was trying to nap."

"Are you sure?" Mari said. "You don't want to watch or anything?" Mari smirked. "I could put on a show for you… maybe help you out…"

"Mari, I'm fine." Shinji said. "You know I like Asuka… I don't want to jeopardize that."

Mari walked over to Shinji and kissed his forehead. "Ok, puppy, you're a great friend."

"Yeah, I know." Shinji said. "Just don't do your usual… uh…"

"I'll keep the screaming orgasms to a minimum." Mari said. "I can use your desk, right?"

"Yeah, you're not doing it on the bed." Shinji said.

"Why not… I've been in your bed before…" Mari said.

"To cuddle." Shinji replied. "You're obviously really horny, you keep hitting on me."

"Is that a bad thing?" Mari asked.

"No… at least you're cute." Shinji joked.

"Look at that, the puppy can flirt." Mari joked. "Maybe you should try that with the princess…"

"Mari, you know my reasons why…" Shinji said. "I'm too afraid."

"Fine whatever." Mari said. "Put your headphones back in, I'm… uh… I need to deal with my problem."

"Go for it." Shinji said as he put his earphones back in and closed his eyes. "Oh, and don't make me smell your fingers again… it was only funny the first time."

"Fine…" Mari huffed. "You're no fun."

Asuka was sitting alone in her room playing a game. Mari had disappeared a while ago, Asuka didn't really care to where, seeing as she wasn't being bothered by Mari's tendency to be as annoying as possible.

"Man… I forget how quiet it is without that four eyed monster bugging me all the time." Asuka muttered. "I like the quiet." Asuka's stomach growled loudly. "Well… that blows… now I'm hungry."

Asuka saved her game and got up. She stretched quite loudly. "I need Shinji to make me a snack." Asuka said. "I want nachos."

Asuka wandered out to the living room, assuming that's where he would be, but the room was empty. "Damn it, where is he… I'm hungry."

Asuka wandered to the kitchen and saw that the bathroom was empty. When she got to the kitchen it was also empty. She peered down towards the door and saw Shinji's shoes were still there in the entryway, as were Mari's. "Where the hell could he be?" Asuka said. "Baka! Where the hell are you? I need a snack!"

Asuka got no response to her shout and decided to go to his room and find out if he was napping. As she slid open the door without knocking she was infuriated by what she saw. Shinji was half asleep on his bed, and Mari at his desk, her shirt on the floor next to her, and her shorts and panties around her ankles working herself over in a rapid fury. Once again, Asuka saw Mari arch her back as she finished for a third time.

"What the fuck!" Asuka screamed. "Why the fuck are you in here, four eyes!"

Shinji's was so severely startled he fell out of bed, and Mari's head dropped and she sighed deeply. "What the fuck do you think I'm doing here, princess?" Mari said angrily. "I was getting away from you're prudishness."

"Baka, why did you let her in here?!" Asuka shouted. "Where you watching her touch herself, you fucking pervert!?"

"No… I…" Shinji said nervously. "I was asleep till you came in here and started shouting."

"Then why was she in here?!" Asuka shouted. "Answer me, baka!"

"She needed somewhere to masturbate because you won't let her use her own room!" Shinji said back angrily. "What kind of rule is that, anyway!?"

"The kind where I don't walk in on her playing with herself!" Asuka shouted. "I'm tired of her doing it!"

"It's not your choice, Asuka!" Shinji shouted. "You don't get to make those kinds of decisions, it's not fair!"

"Yeah, I don't find it very fair, either, princess!" Mari shouted as she stood up angrily, tits flailing freely once again. "I shouldn't have to be celibate and not touch myself to make you happy! The world doesn't revolve around you!"

"Well, I'm tired of you do that shit all the time!" Asuka shouted. "I hate hearing you moan like that!"

"Jealous of me, princess?!" Mari shouted back. "Jealous you can't get yourself to cum?!"

"Of course I'm jealous you fucking idiot!" Asuka shouted. "I hate that you can get off so much and I haven't ever been able to!"

The room went silent, and Mari just stared at Asuka blankly. She absentmindedly pulled up her panties and shorts and just blinked. "Wait… really? Why didn't you say anything…"

"I… I' embarrassed, ok!" Asuka said angrily. "I don't like talking about sex… I never really had anyone to explain anything to me…"

"Oh, princess… I'm sorry…" Mari said. "I… I feel bad…"

"You should be." Asuka muttered angrily.

Shinji sighed. "Mari… could you put your shirt back on?" Shinji said. "Asuka… are you ok?"

"No, I'm not." Asuka said. "Now a boy knows that I... touch myself."

"Asuka, who cares?" Shinji said. "I do the same thing. We've told you this before… it's natural and nothing to be ashamed of."

"Yeah… but I didn't grow up somewhere where things like this were talked about." Asuka said. "I don't really know anything."

"But you've been to college, princess." Mari said. "How do you not know?"

"They never really elaborated on it in Germany." Asuka said. "When I got my high school equivalency done, it wasn't on the test. I mean, I know people have sex… but I don't really… uh… know."

"Do you want to know, princess?" Mari asked.

"Well… yeah…" Asuka said. "I mean… I feel kinda stupid not knowing."

"Well, looks like you're going to get schooled by me." Mari said. "I know a lot about sex, with the internet and all…"

"Oh great… did you Google the answer?" Shinji asked.

"Google will tell you anything you want to know." Mari said. "Even if you're looking for a famous person naked, just type naked after their name and poof, titties and everything!"

"You're like a kid in a fucking candy store." Asuka said.

"If the candy store has cocks and tits, then yes." Mari said happily.

"Oh my god…" Shinji said.

"So, do you mind if I explain the birds and the bees to you, princess?" Mari asked.

"I guess not." Asuka said. "You would be the knowledgeable one in the room."

"Good, you and the puppy will be my students." Mari said brightly. "Now, let me just pull up some pertinent details…"

"Why do I have to be here?" Shinji asked.

"Just cause you watch porn doesn't mean you know anything about sex, puppy." Mari said. "You should know how to please a woman, right?"

"Fine…" Shinji said as he sat down awkwardly next to Asuka. "Make this quick."

"So what were you watching on there…" Asuka's eyes fell on the computer screen and her jaw dropped. "What the fuck is that thing?! What the fuck is that other thing?! What are they doing?!" Asuka shouted. "It's fucking disgusting!"

Mari and Shinji looked puzzledly at the computer and looked back at her, with Mari being the one to respond. "That's called a vagina, princess. And the thing getting shoved in it like that is a penis." Mari said sarcastically. "Haven't you ever seen either one before? I mean, I would hope you've at least a vagina before…"

"No…" Asuka said. "Why would I look at vaginas?"

"Well, you have one, don't you, princess?" Mari asked. "Do you know anything about it?"

"Other than it makes me want to fucking die once a month, nope." Asuka said.

"Wow… you're more of a lost cause than I realized…" Mari said. "Ok, let's get to work."

"Right now?" Asuka asked.

"No time like the present, princess." Mari said. "Ok… so… you know babies come out of there, right?"

"Yeah… I'm not a fucking idiot." Asuka said.

"Ok, so I can skip that." Mari said. "Ok… so you don't know anything about your vagina then…"

"No…" Asuka said sheepishly. "My mother never got to explain it to me."

"And Misato never did?" Shinji asked. "Wasn't she your guardian in Germany?"

"Not the most effective one." Asuka said. "Kaji tried once, but he's not a girl."

"Ok, so you haven't been able to get yourself off either…" Mari said as she pulled up a close up picture of a vagina. "Well, then, these are the labia, princess. This is the exterior portion of the vagina, it's what everyone sees on the outside. Once you get past those, you have a whole bunch of other stuff, the other set of labia, the clitoris, and the actual vaginal opening. Do you understand all that, princess?"

"I guess…" Asuka said as Shinji sat there silently. "So, I'm guessing there's more to it than that, right, four eyes?"

"You're right, princess." Mari said. "Now… how many times have you tried to get off? Be honest, I want to help you."

"Two or three…" Asuka said as she looked down and blushed heavily. Shinji did his best to avoid her gaze. "It wasn't very fun…"

"How were you doing it?" Mari asked.

"I was just rubbing it I guess." Asuka replied.

"How hard were you rubbing it?" Mari asked.

"Gently…" Asuka replied sheepishly. "I didn't want to hurt myself."

"Did you stick any fingers in there?" Mari asked.

"Why the hell would I stick anything in there?" Asuka asked.

"To stimulate yourself, princess." Mari said as she shook her head. "Do you have any idea how to properly stimulate yourself?"

"No… I thought you just ran your hands over it and it would… you know…" Asuka said.

"Oh…" Shinji muttered.

"It doesn't work like that princess." Mari said. "There are two spots of erotic stimulation for girls, the clitoris, and the G–spot."

"And where are those?" Asuka asked.

"The clitoris is hidden above the vagina, inside the labia, protected by the clitoral hood." Mari said. "When you're horny and aroused, it gets engorged like a penis, which makes it more sensitive and such. The G–spot is inside the vagina, somewhere along the top of it if you're laying down, that requires penetration to get to. When you stimulate yourself properly and make yourself aroused before rubbing one out, you should be able to orgasm with your fingers or some kind of toy. You'll know you're aroused when you feel wet."

"So I did it wrong?" Asuka asked. "I fucked it up?"

"No, you just didn't know, princess." Mari said. "It's not your fault."

"I'm so stupid." Asuka said. "I should have been able to figure out how to do this."

"No, princess, you're wrong." Mari said kindly. "No one ever explained any of this to you, it's not your fault at all."

"So all I have to do is get in the mood?" Asuka asked.

"Well, it's more complicated than that… but it's a good start." Mari said. "Do you know how to become aroused?"

"Think of something that makes you happy?" Asuka asked.

"Or watch porn." Mari said. "Shinji, how do you… oh my…"

Shinji groaned in embarrassment as he kept trying to cover his erection. He kept his gaze averted from both girls.

"Is that…?" Asuka asked. "What I think it is?"

"Yeah…" Mari said.

"Why is it so large?" Asuka asked. "I mean, it looks like he's got bratwurst in his pants."

"It's called a penis, princess." Mari said sarcastically.

"I know that, but is it supposed to be like that?" Asuka asked.

"Do you want him to whip it out and show you or something?" Mari asked.

"No, I'm not a pervert!" Asuka said as her face turned the same color as her hair.

"Sure you don't…" Mari muttered. "So, puppy, you ok?" Mari asked.

"No…" Shinji said weakly. "I… I'm sorry…"

"Why?" Mari asked. "Did all this talk turn you on?"

Shinji nodded silently.

"Pervert…" Asuka muttered.

"Shut up, princess." Mari said. "I'm guessing I interrupted you earlier?"

"Yeah…" Shinji said. "I haven't done anything today… I was going to, but then you came in, and then I figured I could wait till after you left, but then Asuka…" Shinji looked down again. "I'm sorry…"

"Don't be… I should apologize, puppy." Mari said. "It's mostly my fault. All this talk about masturbation and vaginas is kinda unfair."

"So he got what… aroused cause we talked about it?" Asuka asked. "That's kinda funny."

"No, it's not funny, it's cuter than anything else." Mari said. "Sorry, puppy, I didn't mean to get you all… riled up."

"Yeah… sorry baka." Asuka asked.

"It's ok…" Shinji said quietly. "It's not anyone's fault."

"So, should we leave so you can… take care of business?" Mari asked.

"I don't think that would work." Shinji said. "It'd be weird if you knew what I was doing…"

"Not really, you were sitting here while I was rubbing one out." Mari said.

"It's wired for me for you guys to know." Shinji said.

"Puppy, I know you jerk off." Mari said. "It's no secret… all those tissues you use?"

Shinji blushed. "Fine… then do you mind? The pressure is starting to hurt."

"Pressure?" Asuka asked. "What the hell does that mean?"

"Oh my god… you're hopeless…" Mari muttered. "His dick is pressing against his pants, cause there isn't enough room." Mari rolled her eyes. "Come on princess, let's go."

Asuka gave Shinji a puzzled look as she left and Mari smiled as she grabbed her laptop and left. Shinji, finally alone got up and closed his door.

"Man… I have to jerk off so bad now." Shinji said. "Asuka talking about touching herself was just too much…" Shinji smiled as he laid down in bed and took off his pants. "I guess I'm going to think about her do that while I touch myself…"

Shinji smiled as his hand dove down his pants as he stoked to thoughts of the girl he loved doing the same to herself.


When Asuka went back to her room, Mari went to take a shower, leaving Asuka all on her own. She laid down in bed and took off her pants.

"Wow… Shinji was really aroused by me talking about masturbating." Asuka thought. "And for some reason I feel warm down there…" Asuka reached down and felt her wetness. "I guess this is what Mari was talking about… I'm aroused think about Shinji…"

Asuka blushed heavily as she realized what this meant. "I really do like him a lot…" Asuka muttered. "So I guess for me to get off I have to think of Shinji and his hard… bratwurst…"

Asuka's hand ventured into her panties and she explored herself for the first time. She gasped as she touched the areas Mari had pointed out, making herself squirm with pleasure.

"Shinji…" Asuka muttered. "I wish you were touching me instead…"

With this thought in mind, Asuka was able to bring herself to her first orgasm, her toes curled and her back arched as she tried to stifle her scream of ecstasy. "Holy shit… no wonder that four eyed deviant does this so much…" Asuka muttered. "That felt better than anything else…"

Mari came back in from her shower to see Asuka breathing heavily on her bed, her face flush. Asuka was startled when she walked in, but Mari ignored it.

"Glad you took what I said to heart, princess." Mari said. "How was it?"

"Better than I thought." Asuka said. "I feel… I feel really good."

"So… does that mean you finished?" Mari asked.

Asuka blushed. "Well… yeah… it was weird." Asuka said. "Is it supposed to hurt and feel great at the same time?"

"Yeah… you did it right." Mari said proudly. "Good job, princess." Mari smirked. "So, what were you thinking about, princess? Was it the puppy?"

"That's none of your business, four eyes!" Asuka replied.

"Touchy, touchy." Mari joked. "It almost sounds like you were being defensive when I suggested you were thinking about the puppy." Mari grinned devilishly. "Did his hard prick turn you on, princess?"

"No!" Asuka replied angrily. "What are you suggesting?!"

"That his cock made you wet, princess." Mari purred. "I know it did for me… that's why I stayed in the shower so long." Mari smirked. "I needed some time alone…"

"Pervert!" Asuka said. "Why the hell did you do that?!"

"What, it's natural to be aroused by something like that." Mari said. "Don't be pissed at yourself if you were. I won't tease you."

"So what if I did…" Asuka said. "Even if I did, it doesn't mean I like him…"

"I didn't suggest that princess…" Mari said. "What are you saying? Do you like the puppy or something?"

"I'm saying nothing…" Asuka muttered. "Nothing at all…"

A/N: I do not own Evangelion or any of the characters, GAINAX and the other distributors of NGE related material do. I am simply using them as a backdrop for my fanfic.

Timelines are very important to me! So, this one shot takes place roughly after Chapter 12 of Episode IV, but before Chapter 1 of Episode V.

So basically another fun one. There is a built in conflict, as Asuka likes to repress her sexual desires, and well Mari… Asuka hates Mari masturbating, Mari loves masturbating so she turns to Shinji for a place to rub one out… and she gets caught again, but is grossed out by the porn and knows nothing about sex ed. That seems like Asuka, naïve about porn and how sex and everything works. So Mari gives them both (poor Shinji) a lesson about sex. Personally my favorite is Asuka finding out what a vagina looks like, as she's never looked at her own… and she finally admits that's she's touched herself before, but couldn't get anything to happen.

Also… erection jokes, because why wouldn't Shinji be hard while Mari shows porn and explains sex with the girl he loves sitting within handjob distance. Poor boy deserves a medal for not blowing his load with all those stimuli around him.

Then of course, this one shot takes place just after Asuka admits that she likes Shinji, and well before she admits she actually loves him, so the awkwardness of for her to actually cum thinking about him is both funny and cute, and of course, Shinji does the same thing, once again pointing out how similar the two of them are to each other.

As I said before, and will always say at the end of anything, please leave comments, as I would like to try to improve the story going forward any way I can. And, hell, constructive criticism is a good thing.