AN: I am the Fantasy Female Freak! (I think my username is worded wrong…ah well I'll change that later).

I SWEAR this is the last time I post a fan fiction…for 2016 at least. This is convenient for me since 2017 is five days from now *Evil smirk*.

This story is based off a theory on my absolute favorite character, Bill who, per some fans, was reincarnated into the past within the bootstrap paradox after calling to the Axolotl for help, but only if he did good. The theory is that Bill is Stan and has learned to be a family man and ended up defeating his past self (I like this one better than the Bill is a Bird Theory…).

In this story, obviously, I won't be using the bootstrap paradox but the alternate universe one—I change my mind it'll be bootstrap paradox/alternate universe paradox. Hope that makes sense! (It will in later chapters).

I've read a few Dipper and Mabel With Extra Sibling stories and they're all very good. So, I decided to make my own! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!

Follow, and Review!

Chapter one: Everything is Unfair!

Blue flames surrounded the memory, and as Bill Cipher, the most powerful dream demon, looked at Stan's face he felt something he hated, hated with a passion.


There was only one thing left he could do, it was his last hope after all.

"A-X-O-L-O-T-L! My time has come to burn! I invoke the ancient power that I may return!"

After saying the chant, Bill reached out his hand to the man that had ruined everything for him. "STANLEY!" He growled. The old man punched the dream demon in the face and Bill screamed as everything went black. At first it was empty blackness. But then it gave way to a different blackness, not as dark, and not as cold. It was warm, he liked it.

Then, the blackness gave way to blinding light. Bill wanted to cry but in surprise but an ear-piercing sob came out instead.

What the—?

As the light became less blinding, Bill could see a blonde woman with brown eyes, smiling and crying at the same time. A human no doubt. But what was he doing here?

Bill stopped crying slowly to look around his surroundings. His eyes blinking curiously as many other humans crowded near him. A human with gloved hands picked Bill up and he let out a noise.

He wondered why he couldn't talk.

"Well, Mr. and Mrs. Pines, it'd appear that you've given birth to a beautiful baby boy!" The gloved human said wrapping Bill in a towel.

Wait, baby? Birth? Pines?!

A brunette man, presumably Mr. Pines, took the baby and grinned before handing him over to the blonde woman again.

Okay, so he was a human baby. Tolerable. But he was also related to the blasted Pines?! Oh, hell no.

Bill cried again. This time louder than before.

"You're and angry one, aren't you son?" Mr. Pines said with a smile.

You think?!

Mr. Pines turned to his wife. "What will we name him?"

The woman smiled at the baby in her arms. "Matthew, Matthew Pines."

I can't even keep my name?! Bill cried even louder.

"Is he tired?" Mr. Pines asked.

"Maybe," Mrs. Pines said.

Bill sobbed as the woman pulled him close and rocked slightly, humming a lullaby. Bill's sobs quieted a lot. The voice was soothing and…nice. Bill closed his eyes and lay his head on his new mother's chest.

"Go to sleep my son."


Bill woke up in what looked like a jail cell, oh triangle could this day get any worse?! Bill began to sob loudly and roll around. Then, the sheets caught in blue flames. Bill stopped to look at the flames curiously. Then he heard Mrs. Pines screaming and she picked him up.

"Emmitt get the fire extinguisher!" The woman screamed as she held Bill close to her chest in a protective manner.

Emmitt, or Mr. Pines, ran out of the room and came back with the requested item. But before he could spray it, the flames disappeared.

"What in the—?" Emmitt murmured.

Bill was just as surprised. Did he do that? Did he still have his powers? Bill held up his tiny fist and both Pines screamed as blue flames appeared.

"Oh, my goodness…Ellie," Emmitt said gaping at his son.

Ellie, or Mrs. Pines gasped. Bill made a baby shriek in delight. This was lovely! He had a physical form still and his powers, He could kill these useless humans and restart Weirdmaggedon! Bill attempted an evil laugh but the only thing that came out was a cute giggle.

First thing's first, get out of this dumb form.

Bill tried to imagine himself as his normal triangular self.


Bill tried to growl but it came out as a cute gurgle. Ellie looked at her husband as Bill's flame disappeared and the baby was placed back in the crib. "Do we tell anyone?" Emmitt asked quietly.

Ellie shook her head and crossed her arms. "Maybe not," she looked at her son. "I think we should keep this a secret. At least for now."

Bill was beyond annoyed. One, he wasn't an experiment. Why where they talking about him like that? Two, why could he only make flames?! It was so stupid! Everything was so unfair. And it was all those stupid Pines' fault!

When the couple managed to go back to bed after a lot of talking, Bill took in the surroundings of his and his parents' room. Their bed was large. And Bill now realized he wasn't in a cell but a crib. On the wall was a calendar showing the date circled with red, April 5th 1996.

Judging by the date, and the fact that the Pines had no other living relatives, Emmitt and Ellie Pines where most likely Mabel and Dipper's parents.

An idea formed in Bill's head; he could exact his revenge on those brats. Yes, that'd hurt Fez for sure. Bill tried to laugh evilly again, but once more he was greeted with a cute babies' laugh.

Damn he hated this body.


AN: I decided to compile chapter one and two together. (Dec 28 update).


Bill woke up to the sound of an alarm clock. His baby form screamed and began sobbing as the two Pines got out of bed. Emmett going to the bathroom and Ellie tending to her son, taking him out if the crib.

"Shhh, it's okay, shh." Ellie patted Bill on the back while rocking him. Bill had to admit, it was soothing.

Bill eventually stopped crying and Ellie smiled before holding him gently in her arms and singing a song. Bill had to admit, she has a nice singing voice.

"Ellie? Did you see my tie? I can't seem to find it," Emmett said.

"No dear," Ellie said placing Bill on the bed, trapped between two pillows. "Did you look in my drawer? You sometimes put your stuff there."

Bill looked to his left, and there, underneath a large throw pillow was a black tie. It made him yearn for his old form...

Bill snatched the tie with his tiny fists and pulled until the tie was free, the pillow it was under dropping on the floor.

The two Pines turned to their son who was holding the black fabric and shrieking.

Here you go you morons. Bill thought, it came out as a bunch of baby noises and more shrieks.

"Ah ha! My little Deciphering Wizard!" Emmett said gently taking the fabric from his son. "Thank you, Matthew."

It wasn't even a cipher you idiot. Bill wanted to say, but again, baby gurgles.

"Little Wizard! Who's a Little Wizard? You are!" Ellie said in a baby voice as she tickled Bill. Bill didn't like the feeling at all; it reminded him of the time when he was possessing Pine Tree's body and Shooting Star tickled him like crazy.

Bill whimpered and forced his stupid weak body on to his stomach so he wouldn't be re-tickled on that same area.

"Ah...somebody's ticklish, eh?" Emmett teased. "You only smiled yesterday, smile again, today won't you?"

If babies could glare, seriously glare, Bill would be glaring at the idiotic annoying human he needed to call "dad" for the entirety of his miserable mortal life.

"Oh, come on Matt!" Emmett said picking his son up. "Come on, give me a smile!"

Bill looked at the brunette man for a second but then shrieked in surprise when he was tossed into the air lightly.

"Emmett, be careful!" Ellie exclaimed.

"Look, Ellie!" Emmett exclaimed as Bill couldn't help but let out gleeful fits of laughter.

Ellie crossed her arms before laughing along with her two boys.


Bill splashed in the bubble bath, popping bubbles and shrieking in delight Ellie gently rubbed Bill with a wash rag. Bill gurgled. He suddenly realized why humans took baths.

"You are adorable!" Ellie gushed. If Bill could roll his eyes, he would have. Humans where weird, but if he could keep taking a bath, this would probably be more tolerable.


It was now late May and Bill watched his parents feeding each other strawberries on their picnic blanket. Bill was busy playing with a stick. Because he was bored, Bill wrote his human name in the dirt.

"Hey Matt! Are you hungry?" Emmett asked holding up a baby bottle.

Ellie walked to her son and was about to pick him up when she gasped. "Oh, my gosh! Emmett look at this!"

Mr. Pines walked to where is wife was pointing and his jaw dropped. "You did that kiddo?"

Bill blinked twice. Right, baby humans where supposed to be idiots.

"You smart Little Wizard!" Emmett said cheerfully.

Bill looked at his moron parents.

All I did was write something!


"And this, is your Grandpa Shermie! Say hi Matthew!" Ellie said as she sat Bill on the sofa before putting the home phone on Bill's ear.

Bill shrieked, it was all he could manage in his baby voice.

The old man chuckled on the other end. "Hello Matthew. I heard you are quite the Wizard aye?"

Bill spluttered incoherently, drool covered the phone. Emmett chuckled before picking his son up. Bill instinctively wrapped his tiny arms around Emmett's neck. The action was getting increasingly normal since, admittedly, Bill was growing rather fond of his new parents (he didn't love them, he couldn't love as a demon and he couldn't love now).

When (or if) Bill got his powers back he'd only spare these Pines from his wrath (and perhaps Shermie, he had nothing against that guy).

Emmett took the phone from his wife and spoke to his father while said wife took Bill and cradled him in her arms, humming one of her lovely lullabies.


"Aww! You look so cute Matthew!" Ellie gushed as she saw Bill in a Whinny the Pooh Halloween costume.

Bill personally hated it. But he didn't complain. The blonde couldn't help but grow increasingly fond for the goofy couple each day that passed. They treated him nice and he had a few enjoyable days too. He even got to meet his grandfather once in person. But that was only once.

"I'm taking a picture!" Ellie said with a squeal.

This was without a doubt the mother of Shooting Star.


Bill looked at the Christmas ornament curiously. He of course knew what Christmas was, he just never knew how it was celebrated, he never cared to find out. The baby licked the red ornament.

Well, it isn't tasty, at least to my standards.

"Matthew? Can you pass the ornament please buddy?" Emmett asked, standing on top the ladder as he put up a star on the Christmas Tree.

Ellie, guessing that Bill was still a dumb baby, gently took the ornament from him and handed it to her husband.

"You're going to be so happy, Matt! You'll finally meet your Great Uncle Stanford today! Isn't that lovely?" Ellie asked taking Bill in her arms.

No, no it was not lovely. It was not even remotely lovely! He hated that man! He didn't know if it was the science twin or the con twin but either way, fate was out to get him. Did he do things so badly that he deserved this torture? Weirdmaggedon was beautiful in his opinion! And so what if he tortured an old man?!

Bill began to cry and Ellie gasped in surprise before singing a lullaby. For once, that didn't work.

Damn you Axolotl! This isn't what I wanted and you freaking know it! Bill could imagine it now, the powerful creature looking down on him with smugness. Just thinking about it made him upset.

The baby cried louder.

"Is he hungry?" Emmett asked coming off the ladder.

"Let me try reading to him," Ellie said. She walked over to the bookshelf and her husband pulled out a book titled, Chronicles of Magic.

"Believe me, Wizard, that book sucks," Ellie warned. Bill quieted his crying to a tiny whimper. So, humans did study magic?

"What are you talking about?" Emmett asked in pretend horror. "It's the best novel series! Well, next to Harry Potter."

"That series is worse," Ellie said and Emmett placed a hand on his heart. "How dare you!" He said in mock anger. Bill found this amusing. Bill couldn't help but let out a babyish laugh.

"If you really think the Chronicles of Magic sucks you'll hate Twilight," Emmett warned.

"It is a lovely novel!" Ellie said with a smirk.

"It's a cheesy love story!" Emmett laughed.

Novel? Of course, it wasn't real magic. Oh well…

Bill took the book from his father and Emmett grinned. "You see? He likes it!"

Bill opened the book and looked at it while Ellie placed the boy gently on the reading couch.

"Dad and Uncle Stan will be here soon," Emmett said. "Should we start cooking?"

"Ah! Right. How about you go in your play pen sweetie?" Ellie took Bill along with book before placing him in the said area with a lot of his toys.

When his parents where gone, Bill went to reading the novel. It was funny how accurate the author was to real magic. If only he knew it existed. He'd make sure of that once he took over the world. Bill smirked (though in his baby form it looked more like an adorable smile).


Bill looked up at that hated face. Ooh what he wouldn't do to melt Stanley Pines' face off, he didn't think his fire could burn anything though (he realized it was the con twin he was dealing with).

"Hey kiddo!" Stan said with a grin. "It's me! You're Great Uncle Stan."

Bill blew a raspberry at the man before shrieking and slapping Stan on the wrist. But that unfortunately backfired. "Ha! He's feisty! I like it!" Stan said, his grin getting bigger. He was just begging to have his face burned off.

"You should have given him a cooler name though," Stan continued, turning to his brother and the married couple. "He doesn't look like much of a 'Matthew'."

"What does he look like then, Stanford?" Shermie asked with a raised eyebrow.

"He looks like a 'Bill' if you ask me."

Bill looked up at the old man, surprise written all over the baby's face.

Does Fez know?

"Why Bill?" Ellie asked from the nearby sofa.

"It's more simple, he looks like a simple kid," Stan said looking back at Bill with another grin.

If he hated Fez before he hated him even more now.

Then, an idea struck him. Bill grabbed on to a fist full of Stan's pant leg before letting his fists catch on fire.

Stan screamed as blue flames covered his outfit. Ellie and Emmett cried out in surprise and the man snatched his son as Shermie tried to help Stan douse off the fire.

"Did he do that?" Shermie demanded with shock on his face.

"Well…" Ellie began.

"That's amazing!" Stan said when the flames disappeared. "Horrifying, but amazing! Ha! You have a pyrokenesis baby!" Stan said looking at Bill with his hands on his hips. "Imagine how much money I'll get at the Shack!"

"Matthew isn't an attraction, Uncle Stan," Emmett said with a frown.

Bill blew another raspberry at Stan. Well that was great. Fez liked him even more now.

Stan was going to hate him when he got his powers back though. That thought alone made him feel a bit better.

A bit.


"Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday dear Matthew, Happy Birthday to you!" Ellie and Emmet sang as they placed a tiny cake with a one candle in front of their son. "Happy Birthday, Little Wizard!" Emmett said with a grin. "Blow out the candles," Ellie said with a sweet smile.

Bill blew wetly. The candle flickered but didn't go out.

Emmet ruffled Bill's blonde hair "You can do it, Little Wizard!" This time, he blew harder. And the flame went out.

"Now bash the cake!" Ellie said cheerfully.

Bash? Well he was awesome with bashing! Bill slapped the soft substance with his hands and took a big chunk before placing it in his mouth. Bill had known what cake was, he just never tried it. He only knew that humans really enjoyed it and now he knew why. It tasted phenomenal!

Bill shrieked in delight as he shoved more cake into his mouth, he could really get used to this "Birthday" thing. His parents laughed and when they placed him in the crib that night, the next six words Ellie said gave him the oddest feeling: "Mom and Dad love you Matthew," she said before kissing Bill on the forehead before retiring for bed.

Sure, they said that numerous times, but it was only now that Bill truly believed those words. With a cute yawn, Bill took out The Magic Cornicles Book Two from under his blanket before reading under the soft night light of his mobile.


Bill's life was decent. At age one he read all the novels in his father's library and then proceeded to read the books on math and science at age two, he even made changes in red crayon to make the math easier, though he hid that from his parents.

The first word his baby body could say was "mama" (obviously), then "dada". And soon, "wizard". Stan barely visited anymore because he now opened the Mystery Shack on holidays and was busy, (Bill wasn't complaining). At that same age of two he went to daycare but was then kicked out because he punched a kid in the face for stealing his cookie.

Now, at age three-an-a-half, Bill was looking outside the window with his grandfather as he waited for Ellie and Emmett to come home with the newborn Dipper and Mabel. Bill planned on killing them in their sleep, it'd have to be painless because the babies would scream and Ellie and/or Emmett would find out he was killing them and—well he couldn't have that, could he?

Then, his blue eyes spotted the family van pulling up in the driveway.

"They're here!" Bill exclaimed.

Shermie chuckled at his grandson's excitement, little did he know he was excited over revenge instead of joy to his see his new siblings.

The door opened, and first came Emmett holding to baby car seats; one baby was covered in a blue blanket, the other one covered in pink. "Twins?" Shermie said from behind Bill.


Emmett lead everyone into the living room before placing the two car seats on the couch. "Meet your new siblings, Matthew," Mr. Pines said with a smile. He uncovered the baby in the pink blanket. "This is Mabel," he said with a grin. Bill walked over to the baby. Mabel looked up at her elder brother and automatically gave him a toothless grin. Bill sucked in a sharp breath. He was quickly having second thoughts about killing the kids, especially if Dipper looked as cute as Mabel.

Argh! I hate this body! I've become so soft! Since when did cuteness stop me from doing something maniacal?

"This," Ellie said. "Is your brother, Mason." Bill looked at Pine Tree, the baby seemed to be giving the older a boy a calculating look which was kind of funny on a baby. Suspicious even as a baby, huh Pine Tree? Bill smirked lightly.

"My, my," Shermie murmured with a smile.

"Do you have anything to say to them, Matthew?" Ellie asked putting her soft hands on Bill's shoulder. Bill felt a sensation. It was weird. He didn't know if he liked it but...he didn't want to kill the kids. Sure, he could kill Stanford and Stanley but…he truly didn't want these babies to die.

What's wrong with you Bill?! One minute! One flipping minute and you're already fond of them?! Though for once, Bill ignored that voice.

"Hi! I'm your older brother!"


AN: So, there you have it! Should Bill have been less accepting? Maybe, but I would think after spending three years with humans who he was quite fond of I think he would've softened considerably.

Fantasy Freak OUT!