Slayers Inverted

by Jared Ornstead

***

"Ooooooohhh, I can hardly wait!" Lina clapped and rubbed her hands
together.
The magical scientist of the week stopped listening to her
interruptions as he went on to explain to his real client - the
Princess of Sailune, who was sitting in comparative patience as the
bearded man explained why she had just purchased him so much shiny, new
lab equipment.
"As you well know, the secrets of how to use white magic offensively
were lost to us back during the first war of the resurrection of the
dark lord so many ages ago. This has quite hampered our ability to deal
with demons and monsters as they have great resistance to shamanism,
and black magic requires their cooperation to succeed."
Amelia, princess of Sailune, could have given this same speech from
her cradle, the capital city of her kingdom was *also* the premier
center for the study and use of white magic - and why she was funding
this project in the first place.
The enthusiastic princess leapt off the chair to pump a fist. "That's
right! Which only means the Champions of Justice are required to train
body and soul to *extra* higher levels in order to fight against
evil!!"
She posed dramatically.
"Ahem, that's right." The old scientist humored her. "Now, if I may
continue?" The old codger tottered on, going over to a work display.
"The theory I've established is that after the war, the gods were too
injured to respond to human requests for lending power, which froze
most of the higher order white magic spells beyond our reach - leaving
only the simplest and most basic powers available to us. Realistically,
there should be no variance in power levels between black and white
magic, as the forces they call upon fought a war equally for untold
millennia of stalemate. The only logical conclusion, then, is that the
powers of light are presently unable to aid us for reasons of their own
- of which I most highly suspect injury."
"Will you get on with it??" Lina demanded angrily, tired of hearing
the man repeat the same stuff paraphrased time after time.
The old man coughed. "Ah, yes, of course. The answer, as I've
concluded, was to attempt to draw upon the powers of light directly. As
we all well know, since time began the monster races used hatred and
other dark emotions to feed their own power, which they concentrate,
then lend in small amounts back to certain humans to fuel black magic
spells. Why, then, should it not be consistent for the forces of light
to draw upon happiness, joy, and other sources of bright, cheerful
energy? It would be consistent for this to be the case, in which
situation we have an answer to our problem. If, as I suspect it to be,
the forces of light do indeed power themselves in this same manner,
then do as the demons do and lend small portions of that to human
followers in order to empower their spells," the old man coughed. "Why
then the present inability of the forces of light to empower us to
achieve parity with evil has a positive outcome: All we must do is find
out how we may draw, or construct items to help us draw, upon bright,
positive energy ourselves, instead of taking it as handouts. If this
can be done, white magic will once again achieve the ability of hurting
demons directly, obliviating the need for such spells as the Giga
Slave."
Lina stared at Amelia. "You mean you funded this whole project just
so that I wouldn't throw that spell anymore?"
Amelia cowered under the intense scrutiny, playing with fingertips.
"Well, it *had* come to mind that destroying the world was a serious
side effect."
"Right!" Lina stood up. "I agree." She stated, causing the entire
room to facefault. Lina turned on a cute glitter all her own. "And it
was so sweet of you to spend all this money on my account, too! Let's
have a feast to celebrate!"
Recovering from the general facefault, Amelia considered. "Well, if
you don't mind, now that we've had the theory explained, I'd rather
have the experiment I paid for."
"You mean there's more to this?" Receiving a nod, Lina jumped on the
man who was dragging himself up off the floor and shoved him back at
his machines. "Well, if so what are we waiting for! Let's get a move
on! Go! Go! Lemme learn this trick of magic, already!"
"Well," the old man un-tusseled his robes and began adjusting knobs
and dials on his machinery. "While the theory is sound, the actual
practice would be thousands of years in the research. So instead of a
direct approach I've modified some classic spells of summoning to see
if we can't haul a practitioner of that brand of magic here to teach
us."
"Uh huh." Lina was unimpressed. "So how long will this take? Do we
have enough time for lunch, first?"
The machinery's glow was already fading. "It should be ready now."
The old man replied, hauling on the lever to open the door.
Gouts of steam rushed out.
Inside was revealed a six year old sorceress with a cat-faced ball
in her arms and pink hair tied up in twin rabbit ears. She was looking
around nervously. "um, hello? I was going to go visit my mother, but
this doesn't look like Tokyo. Do any of you know where I could find an
Imperium Silver Crystal?"

Later...

"Pink Sugar Heart Attack!!" Lina shouted, throwing out a spell shaped
like a pink heart measuring half a mile across, blasting through the
attacking monsters, taking out the following mountain range and
continuing off into space.
"Lina, you shouldn't..." Xellos cut off speaking when he had his
cheeks pierced by a thrown rose.
Gourry stood posing with a small bouquet in his arms, glamour-dust
glittering off his hair. "Now, don't you think that we've had enough
advice from one of the *monsters* we've been fighting?"
Zelgaldis, long-since restored to human from a Moon Healing
Escalation, along with his assistants, Rodimus and Zolf - once slain by
Shabranigdo but restored through Silver Moon Power, assumed silly poses
beside him. The once-chimera spoke without hint of a blush or even a
wince. "Yes. You had best vamoose, bug-breath, or we'll be forced to
make stir-fry out of you."
Amelia, Princess of the Magical Kingdom of Crystal Sailune, also the
most powerful white sorceress who ever lived, bounced up wearing a
sailor fuku with a tan mini-skirt. "Or in the name of Sailune, We Will
Punish You!!"

*****

Prologue or Spamfic? You decide.