Disclaimer: I don't own GH. I don't any characters. This is purely for amusement and to enhance my writing purposes.
Summary: Familiarity breeds contempt, and after all that had happened the last time with Jason, after learning Jake Doe's identity, Elizabeth has more realistic reaction.
Pairing: Mentions of Liason and mentions of Jasam
Warning: There is no bashing. Not of Sam. Not of Liz.
CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE
CHAPTER ONE OF THREE
"The Truth Is Out"
As Nicolas's words seeped into her heart, Elizabeth felt completely torn.
She was happy Jason was alive. His death had been a heavy blow for so many in Port Charles. Jason had a piece of her heart since he had saved her at Jake's, and no matter whether they were more than friends or lovers, he would always be important to her. Just like he was important to Spinelli, Carly, Sonny and Sam. God, Jason hadn't even gotten to know Danny was his thanks to Heather Webber changing the paternity results. The relief had nearly brought her to tears, and joy swelled in her heart.
And then came the other emotions. She had fallen in love with Jake Doe so easily. He made her laugh, and smile more than she had in a long time. He encouraged her painting, and he was so good with her boys. Now…now that love was tainted with the knowledge that he was Jason. Even though Jason would always have an important part of her heart, she couldn't love him like she once had. Too much had happened in 2012 for that to be a possibility anymore. Jason had both her and Sam twisted up in knots. Instead of stepping like he should after Sam thought she had been raped by Franco, he let his feelings take precedence over his wife's. Elizabeth had tried to be a good friend in the start of it. She encouraged Jason to go back to his wife, and to understand where Sam was coming from. Then he had filed for divorce, and had kissed her.
That small kernel of hope that had always been there flared to life. That star-crossed lovers story that could play out right if they could get their timing right. After he adamantly told her that his marriage was over, she had thrown him a birthday party and kissed him.
And then he pushed her away. He told they couldn't be together for the sake of Jake's memory! It had cut Elizabeth deeper than he knew because it was the first time in a long time she looked at Jason with a clear view. It was just an excuse. Just like the danger was an excuse. Just like using Franco was an excuse with Sam. An excuse to not give it his all with her, or with Sam. To keep a level of distance between himself and them just in case he had to shove them out of his life. Or at least, that's what it felt like to Elizabeth.
With a broken heart in her hands, Elizabeth had made the horrible mistake of changing the maternity test on Danny. She had let Jason hurting her, and the unresolved anger towards Sam cloud her judgment in that crucial moment. It hadn't helped that she understood that Tea would feel the pain that she had felt when Jake had passed, but wasn't Sam going through the same? It had taken twenty-four hours where she had toiled over it, riddled with guilt and self-loathing and she realized that she couldn't keep such a horrible secret and live with it. She just wasn't a good liar. A good liar could keep a secret and not feel remorse for it what so ever.
Elizabeth couldn't do that. Oh, she would justify herself to the moon and back to convince herself of what she was doing was right. She usually lied for the right reason, and those times she could bear it. But when she knew she was firmly in the wrong? It ate her up like acid rain corroded away stone, and she could barely stand the face in the mirror. Her affair with Nicolas made her feel like that. Lying about Jake's paternity made her feel like that. There were a couple of other times, but it was not something she ever wanted to feel again.
So when Nicolas implied that she could keep this between them, or tell the truth, like it didn't matter it made her stare at him in horror. The horror was replaced by a rage so black that she felt like she spitting fire. "No. No, you don't get to do that," Elizabeth said, venomously. Her hand twitched to smack him right across the face once again. "You do not get to make me responsible for your lie, and if there is part of you that ever genuinely loved Emily or me or cared about your cousin, Sam…you'd go out there right now and tell them what they need to know, Nicolas."
"I can't do that, Elizabeth," Nicolas shook his head.
"No, you can, Nicolas," Elizabeth said, harshly. "You are just choosing not to. I won't do that. I can't do that. I have lived lie after lie, and it doesn't save anyone. It doesn't keep them safe or happy. It only makes the inevitable crash all that worse, and if you were half the man that I believed you to be…you wouldn't do that us."
Nicolas looked away, his jaw clenched tightly, but he said nothing. There was nothing he could say because her words were true.
"Tell them," Elizabeth said, softly. Her eyes were welled up with angry tears, and her entire body shook. She couldn't believe that Nicolas could keep something this huge from all of them. "You go tell Jason, Sam, Patrick and everyone else that needs to know the truth or I swear to God, tomorrow I will bring the lie down around you. I'm giving you one chance, Nicolas. One chance to do the right thing. Please don't make wrong in giving you that much."
She shoved past him without another word, and he didn't stop her. She couldn't breath, and she felt that her heart had been torn out of chest. Jake Doe was the first man that she had felt genuinely happy with in a long, long time. A man that didn't come with baggage of the past, and that she entertained thoughts of the future with. She had tried to be noble and make things work with Ric to keep her away from temptation. Jake had been 'married' to Hayden, so they couldn't be together. That brief moment when Ric's lie came crashing down, and after the anger had dissipated, she had felt relieved.
The chains of obligation had been lifted for both her and Jake.
Then Nicolas told the hard truth, and that hope was shattered. He wasn't Jake Doe, a man that she could have a future with. He was Jason Morgan, married to Sam, and Elizabeth had so much baggage with Jason that it wasn't even funny. Years and years of good and bad memories. Of hurt and love. It was all too much for this moment, and she stumbled out into the night.
Elizabeth nearly broke down at the sound of his voice. Oh, God, how had she not realized? His voice wasn't that much differently. It was lighter, less husky than it had been, but it was still so fundamentally Jason that she felt a bigger fool not to have realized it sooner. Did she just no see it because it would change everything? She was always good at fooling herself most of all. "Jake, please, don't," she whispered, when she felt him take a step closer to her. "Just go back inside."
"No," Jake said, firmly. "I'm not leaving you. Not when you are hurting like this. I'm so sorry, Elizabeth. Carly should not have made a spectacle like that. I'm sorry you have find out the truth about Ric like that."
The truth, Elizabeth thought, with a watery laugh. That's what it always came down to was the truth, wasn't it? No matter how much someone ran from it, it always came back to the truth, and the aftermath was almost ugly. "I'm not upset over that," she assured him, and slowly turned to face him. "It has nothing to with Ric. It's something to do with you."
"Me?" Jake whispered, his brows furrowed.
Elizabeth looked up at him, looked at the man a piece had always loved, and probably always would, and she couldn't lie. "Nicolas knew who you were," she told him, brokenly.
"What? What do you mean Nicolas knows who I am?" Jake stated at her, shocked.
"He knew, and he lied about it, but he confessed to me in the changing rooms, after Carly outed Ric," she said, hurriedly. Her shaking hands came up, and touched her mouth, her head shaking side to side. "You're Jason Morgan," Elizabeth said, not able to hold it back anymore. She felt her throat clog with tears when he stepped back as if she had physical hit him. "You're Jason…" the whisper fell between them like thunder in a storm, and silence followed.
Hope you enjoy!
RRs are appreciated.