Disclaimer: Depths of Silence owns nothing.
Summary: "Being stuck in the past is like walking forward with your back facing the front. You'll miss out on what's in front of you." Caitlin x Barry x Iris.
It's down to me and you,
In this cold and empty room-
Forgotten what we're dying for.
Just tell me what to change.
Just tell me what to say,
'Cause I can't feel it anymore.
But why are we so incomplete?
- Dust & Gold (Arrows To Athens)
April 1st 2024
The night was unexpectedly wintry. The skies were clear, allowing for a few speckles of light to burn intensely and free. The wind was chilly, almost as if it was bitter with envy as the full moon enthralled the heavens above. On earth everything was quiet since most people had already retired for the night, finding comfort in the warmness of their shelters.
The night was oddly too quiet.
Then again, things seemed quieter even since the most recent events had taken a turn for the worst.
A figure appeared by a window, it's body being softly kissed by the moonlight, causing a reflection to fall upon the floor. Various streaks of white hair seemed to become silver while curls of chocolate brown grew darker. The paleness of the figure turned marble, and even though a puff of cold air escaped from a pair of pink lips, the figured appeared to be unaffected by the low temperatures.
The figure crossed her arms against her chest, and sighed.
How had things come to that? How had they reached that point? What were they going to do?
All of a sudden, the figure sensed a change in the air, and turned to the side. The silence around them was usually a nice companion and quite welcome. However, on that moment, something seemed to be crawling from the corners like haunting ghosts from the past.
"I was beginning to worry…" a female voice broke the stillness of the moment, and the woman abandoned her spot by the window to approach the newcomer. "What's going on? Where's…?"
"I can do it."
The weight of his revelation dropped like a bomb, reverberating throughout the empty room. The explosion caused the woman's heart to shudder, and she crossed her arms against her chest. Her teeth involuntarily found her bottom lip, and she struggled to come up with something, anything, to say. When words failed her, she did the only thing she could do.
She gave one step backwards.
"I finally did it." the newcomer continued without moving from his spot, and she had to stop herself from looking away. Even in the delicate darkness she could see his eyes, reflecting his feelings of resolution and determination. "I can fix this."
"We've talked about this…"
"I know, and I know I told you I'd let it go, but I…" the man paused, and she knew he was struggling to come up with the right words. "Vibe found a way to do it, and I… I have to do it."
"You have to do it?" she repeated with disbelief before shaking her head. The temperature in the room dropped even more, but neither figures seemed to mind. "We've talked about this! You told me you're going to let it go! You told me…"
Icy mist surrounded both her hands as she dropped her arms to the side. She closed them into tight fists while her teeth, once again, found her lower lip. Then, she shook her head for the second time.
"I can't believe this…" there was a beat. "I can't believe you're going to… What about…? What about…?"
She choked on her own words, and hated herself for it. Leave it to him to turn her into this giant mess in less than one minute. Without knowing what to think, she dropped to her knees, and pressed both her freezing hands to her face.
She heard his quiet steps as he moved forwards. She felt him kneel in front of her. She could sense his hand moving closer until his fingers found the top of her head. One side of her – the inhuman, dark and feral side of her – wanted to push him away, but the other part of her – the human, breathing and broken side of her that loved him – wanted him close.
"This doesn't change anything…" she heard him say, and she did not even bother to hold back the poignant laugh that escaped her lips. Dropping her hands, she found herself staring directly into his eyes, his vibrant and passionate eyes, and she shook her head.
"If you do this…" she licked her lips, but refused to break the eye-contact, "It will change everything. We won't… We won't most certainly find ourselves in this very room ever again."
"You don't know that." the man tried to protest, but the words sounded weak even to his own ears. He shook his head in the darkness, and she had to hold herself back from launching her arms around him. "Listen, I never thought this would ever be possible, but Vibe has spoken to Team Arrow, and they all support my idea."
"You've certainly done your homework." she snapped at same time she stood up, quietly making her way towards the window. Fog began to form on the glass, but it stopped midway in order to not block the moonlight from streaming in. The man approached her from behind, and once again she shook her head. "And as usual I'm the last to know."
"I didn't mean for that to happen."
"Yeah, you never meant for any of this to happen…" the woman agreed in a whisper, her face dropping, eyes falling on her stomach. Without even thinking about her actions, she entwined her fingers, and pressed the palm of her hands against her abdomen. The mist disappeared as her shoulders dropped. "I should've known better…"
"Please, don't do this…" the man nearly begged, and another despondent laugh escaped from her lips. Unhurriedly, she raised her head, not at all bothered by the tears that were blurring her vision.
"Really, you think I'll just accept this?" she asked, trying to ignore the way her voice shook as she spoke. She used a hand to gesticulate as she addressed to him, but kept the other one close to her stomach. "After everything we've been through… After every battle we fought together, and every challenge and grief we've experienced together, you just… You expect me to just pretend none of this ever happened like you're obviously doing?"
"That's not true."
"It's not?" she asked him back, trying to not show another saddened smile. "You're willing to put everything we've done, everything we've worked aside just to…" once again she paused, and bit on her lower lip hard. "I was so stupid!"
"No, don't say that!" the man protested, his hands finding her cheeks, cradling her face with the affection she had come to love. "I just want to try to emend this one mistake. It won't affect anything else!"
"How won't it affect anything else when this," she waved at him and then at her, "When we happened after that? Are you truly so blind as to believe we'll still be together when you fix this?"
"You have to trust me."
The hand pressed to her stomach curled into a fist, but she used her other hand to push his arms away from her. He did not try to reach out for her after that.
"If you do this…" she began as she closed her eyes for a moment. It took her by surprise when she felt something warm roll down her cheek, and she immediately raised a hand to her usually cold skin. When had she started crying? "If you do this, there won't any turning back. You know that. This – us – it will probably never come to be."
"Savitar needs to be stopped."
"You know what? Fine." she breathed out, suddenly feeling drained of energy. Obviously he was not listening to her, being far too focused on going through with his plan to even pay attention to what she was saying. "If it's so easy for you to turn your back to all this, then I won't stop you."
"I'm not turning my back to all of this." he began, stepping forward as he spoke, and she instantly pressed a hand to his chest, stopping him from getting any closer. "You have to believe me."
"Right. Make sure you convince yourself of that when you go forward with this plan of yours." she told him, her voice coming out more controlled and colder than she had first anticipated. Something within her soul quivered, and she could feel her body drinking in all source of warmth that was around her. Still, she managed to keep her power from lashing onto him. "If you manage to convince yourself of what you really want, that is."
She stared at the hand she was pressing against his chest for a moment. When she raised her eyes, she knew what color was reflecting in them although her back was to the window. He saw it too, but did not say anything about it.
"I'm not giving up on us."
"Right, because you going back in time has nothing to do with you wanting to save Iris from Savitar." she told him, her voice coming out different as her power began to take control. "It has nothing to do with you not wanting this life, not wanting us."
She gave enough emphasis to the last word, but she knew he would not understand the double meaning. Then again, if he was indeed going ahead with his plan – which she knew he would – then there was no point in telling him anyway.
"It was once said that the hardest part of losing someone isn't saying goodbye, but rather learning to live without them." she began, "Because you're always trying to fill the void, the emptiness that's left inside your heart when they go."
Slowly she dropped her hand, and she willed her untamed side to fade away. Without really caring about her actions, she shifted closer to him, and looked at him right in the eye. Their chests touched every time they breathed, their breaths mingling together in the dark.
Gently, she reached forward, and pressed her lips to his. It was a soft kiss, like a feather floating through the air before soothingly settling down on the floor. Still, it was a kiss that spoke more than words, and she knew he would understand the meaning behind that one action.
When she stepped backwards, she did not even think twice about her next words.
"I'll go see if Vibe needs help."
With that said, she walked past him. She heard him whisper her name as she pretty much marched out of the room, but she refused to look over her shoulder. Instead, she pressed a hand to her abdomen as she walked, her eyes burning with the tears that she failed to hold back.
When she reached the bottom of the first staircase, she stopped, and leaned against the wall on her side. As tears began to roll down her cheeks, she slid down until she was sitting on the floor, doing her best but failing miserably to hold her sobs in.
On top of the stairs, watching her with a wretched expression on his face stood a man clad in a red suit with a lightning bolt right in the middle of his chest. He also leaned his back against the wall, and closed his eyes as tears also threatened to blurry his vision.
The night was too quiet. So quiet that a woman's cry invaded every corner in an inconsolable melody only one heartbroken man could hear.
To Be Continued…
Authoress Note: So, I am not entirely sure about what I am doing. This idea has been playing around in my head for a while, and I figured I could give it a try. I must say I am a fan of Barry x Caitlin, but I will not ignore Iris. In fact, I couldn't do that even if I wanted to; Iris is Barry's main love interest after all, and she does play her role properly. Therefore, there won't be any bashing, any hate or anything of the sort in this story towards anyone. If you are a fan of Barry x Caitlin, I will do my best to not disappoint you. If you are a fan of Barry x Iris, I will most certainly do my best to do this couple its deserved justice. Just stick around, and follow me on this wild ride my muses most certainly will take us on. Thank you for your attention.